Giant Penguins Once Roamed Peru

Douglas Roberts points out as "obvious Linux fodder" the coverage of a study just published in PNAS claiming that, on fossil evidence, giant penguins once stalked the plains of Peru. One species goes back over 40 million years and its members were as large as modern king penguins. They were warm adapted. Members of another species, 30 million years ago, stood 5 feet high and made their living spearfishing with their 1-foot beaks. Here's an artist's impression.

I for one blah blah

[Mikachu (972457)]

I, welcome, overlords, etc.

Now that that's out of the way, we can actually have a serious discussion about this

(just kidding)

Re:I for one blah blah

[ozmanjusri (601766)]

Now that that's out of the way, we can actually have a serious discussion about this

Is it ok if we imagine a Beowulf cluster of them first?

Re:I for one blah blah

[Mikachu (972457)]

Of course not, my mother died that way, you insensitive clod!

Re:I for one blah blah

[laejoh (648921)]

In Soviet Russia a Beowulf cluster of Giant Penguins roam you?

Re:

[zobier (585066)]

I believe "In Soviet Russia a Beowulf cluster of Giant Penguins imagines you once roamed prehistoric Peru" sums it up best.

Re:I for one blah blah

[remmelt (837671)]

I call BS! The earth is not older than 2000 years, so man and astroman and dinosaurs and now giant penguins roamed the earth TOGETHER! In harmony!

This proves it...

[phagstrom (451510)]

Linux predates Microsoft's patents.

I guess there is no way we're going to have a serious discussion on this subject.

End of the line.

[Funkcikle (630170)]

Obviously the end result of an unpopular fork.

Re:End of the line.

[Tatarize (682683)]

That's it. It's over. Evolution has jumped the shark.

Re:End of the line.

[Funkcikle (630170)]

Nah. Just Bigpengian was deprecated in favour of Littlepengian.

Re:

[1u3hr (530656)]

They're not dead. They're pining for the fjords.

Giant Ancient Penguins are Linux fodder?

[suv4x4 (956391)]

We're hopelessly desperate, aren't we.

Damn.

Re:

[Cozminsky (452030)]

Yep, this was neither humorous or linux related. Not saying it wasn't slashdot worthy, but please.

Re:Giant Ancient Penguins are Linux fodder?

[Ngarrang (1023425)]

This is clearly a case of too many Penguin distros for the ecology to support. Once Mother Nature focused her efforts on few variations, she was able to increase the usage of the remaining distros.

Re:Giant Ancient Penguins are Linux fodder?

[jamstar7 (694492)]

We're hopelessly desperate, aren't we.

Starting to look that way.

Know any good sites I can bittorrent a life from?

Stalked ?

[kgp_crap (997022)]

Stalked the plains of Peru ?? WTF ? Penguins ? Hunting what ? Wilder beasts ? At least the article says that they just 'roamed' the deserts .

Category?

[Savage-Rabbit (308260)]

Stalked the plains of Peru ?? WTF ? Penguins ? Hunting what ? Wilder beasts ? At least the article says that they just 'roamed' the deserts .

I think you should keep in mind that the category this story was filed under is: 'Slashdot :: Entertainment :: It's funny. Laugh.' before you get to excited.

Re:Stalked ?

[by Anonymous Coward]

Hunting what ?

Tiny polar bears. Those penguins could eat several per day.

Re:

[Wookietim (1092481)]

I get the mental picture of packs of giant penguins, roaming the deserts of Peru. Suddenly, the lead Penguin sees a pack of antelope grazing in the field ahead of it. Stealthily, the pack creeps up on them when - suddenly! 5 five foot tall penguins leap into action, running at speeds close to 1 mile per hour, and the kill is over - The Antelope will eat well tonight!

Re:Stalked ?

[jollyreaper (513215)]

Stalked the plains of Peru ?? WTF ? Penguins ?

Look, all I'm saying is anything big enough to hunt geographic features, I don't wanna fuck with it, ok?

Yes, but...

[Corporate Troll (537873)]

did they run Linux? ;-)

Re:Yes, but...

[RuBLed (995686)]

something that bloated could never run efficiently...

Crap

[xhydra (1083949)]

"made their living spearfishing"
Oh is that so???

And in other more recent news fossil evidence found England has indicated that 60 million years ago
apples grew to a astounnding circumference of 2 metres...... Fodder for Mac-Fanboys

obligatory Monty Python

[mgabrys_sf (951552)]

First Old Woman: Well, what's on the television then.

Second Old Woman: Looks like a giant 5 foot tall prehistoric penguin.

First Old Woman: No No No not what's on the television set - I mean what programme?

40 million years?

[edwardpickman (965122)]

Linux has been around longer than I thought!

I apologize

[jmitchel!jmitchel.co (254506)]

Imagine a beowulf cluster of those.

suggested name..

[12357bd (686909)]

Let's call it BigOldLinus.

Re:

[xhydra (1083949)]

1. linusaurus
2. Torvaldosaur

Shameless plug

[dargaud (518470)]

OK, anyone who wants some more penguin info can check out my sig and the associated FAQ [gdargaud.net]... I just want to add that this is not the first time that penguin fossils are discovered, and some larger than the Emperor penguins (actual largest species) are known.

about Penguins

[buitre (1120235)]

for those who want to learn more about penguins check out this new book. http://www.harpercollins.com/books/9780060891268/S mithsonian_Q__A_Penguins/index.aspx [harpercollins.com] the author is one of the leading experts on penguins. Claus

Re:about Penguins

[Bill Dog (726542)]

I'm the other leading expert. All penguins do is waddle and shit.

Footprint too big

[weinrich (414267)]

Let this be a reverse-anthromorphic lesson to everyone in the Linux community: People care about size! Once your on-disk image gets too big (5-foot tall??) your fork will ultimately go extinct.

beowulf check, overloards check, oh you forgot...

[by Anonymous Coward]

in soviet Russia, giant penguins roam you!

Re:beowulf check, overloards check, oh you forgot.

[nwbvt (768631)]

Don't forget:

1. Find ancient species of giant penguins
2. ???
3. PROFIT!

And:
Netcraft confirms that all giant penguins are dead.

And last but not least:
The last one was killed after Steve Ballmer threw a chair at it and swore "I'm going to f***ing kill the giant penguins"

Those were a lot funnier in my mind. And they weren't even very funny there...

Global Warming.

[Karganeth (1017580)]

I have no doubt that these penguins no longer roam there thanks to man made Global Warming. We must immediately lower our CO2 emissions and cripple our economic growth.

Re:

[nschubach (922175)]

I say we replace CO2 emissions with Hydrochloric Acid emissions and see how the economy reacts.

Pingo Sapiens?

[edittard (805475)]

An upright posture frees the forelimbs from walking duties. Imagine if these had evolved to be tool users then tool makers. They might have developed computers, and an OS with a mostly hairless ape for a mascot.

Re:Pingo Sapiens?

[codeButcher (223668)]

Can't imagine anyone having Ballmer for a mascot......

Way cool!

[Quiet_Desperation (858215)]

I'll take a dozen, please! :)

Can they be taught basic police dog techniques?

Or, better yet, martial arts?

I mean, you put a sharp metal edge on those... wings and you've got, well, something that rocks.

Hah! Marching Penguin Bladed Wing Attack! Pow!

Artists impression

[mrjb (547783)]

Because they were depicted as penguins the artist decided for black-and-white. However common these are as animal colors around the polar circle. If these creatures were adapted to living in a hotter environment, most likely they would have followed a color scheme that would better hide them from predators.

Or else they would have gone extinct. Oh wait. Never mind.

Re:Artists impression

[iHasaFlavour (1118257)]

not neccesarily. They fished so the exact same colour scheme would have been effective for exactly the same reasons. Penguins are not black and white to protect themselves from land predators, but from sea based ones. Nor are they white underneath because of there being ice above them, since benguins that rarely go near iced up seas are also white on their bellies.

Aside from that, their primary defense in water is the ability to swim jolly fast, not hide. On land they wouldn't be able to get up to anything more then a frantic waddle. No matter what colour you are that's not going to be helpful. Escape to water is about the only thing that'd work.

Re:Artists impression

[nschubach (922175)]

On land they wouldn't be able to get up to anything more then a frantic waddle. No matter what colour you are that's not going to be helpful.

What if you were some sort of paisley patterned tie die color. Simply waddling might make the predator nauseous and vomit instead of chasing after you. ;)

Re:Artists impression

[loic_2003 (707722)]

"Because they were depicted as penguins the artist decided for black-and-white. However common these are as animal colors around the polar circle. If these creatures were adapted to living in a hotter environment, most likely they would have followed a color scheme that would better hide them from predators."

This is true; one only has to look at the herds of zebras floating on icebergs in the artic to confirm this is the case...

Re:

[mrjb (547783)]

Even seen a zebra on an iceberg? No? See how well those colors work to blend into the environment ;)

Giant penguins with...

[pandrijeczko (588093)]

...frickin' laser beams on their heads!

They probably left

[Rik Sweeney (471717)]

when Cameron Diaz insulted them with another one of her bags.

This would have been more worthy of Slashdot

[niceone (992278)]

If the archaeologists had found some evidence of what distro they preferred.

Guess you'd call that...

[Deadstick (535032)]

...a Magnum Opus.

rj

Re:

[KokorHekkus (986906)]

You mean bones like the skull show in the very same photogallery as the artist's rendering? http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2007/06/ph otogalleries/giant-penguins/index.html [nationalgeographic.com]

Re:

[mikeee (137160)]

Which expedition also established that the penguins were tolerated by, or possibly pets of, the Old Ones.

[...]

It it just me, or does the Debian spiral look like a tentacle if you squint just right?