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Facial Hair and Computer Languages

Posted by kdawson on Tue Apr 29, 2008 01:38 PM
from the brother-is-an-hairy-man dept.
It's funny. Laugh. Programming Technology
An anonymous reader writes "Tamir Khason from Israel has blogged about the direct connection between the amount of facial hair and the success of computer languages. Very funny, and it's the truth."
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Submission: Facial hair and computer languages by Anonymous Coward
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  • What about operating systems? (Score:3, Insightful)

    by Megane (129182) on Tuesday April 29 2008, @01:42PM (#23241992)
    I'm sure everyone's heard of the "Unix beard"?

  • Bears?! (Score:3, Funny)

    by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday April 29 2008, @01:43PM (#23242004)

    Letâ(TM)s see whatâ(TM)s going on with C? Brian W. Kernighan, Dennis M. Ritchie and Kenneth L. Thompson. They are fine. Still have very good bears, so C has long long life.
    I understand the link you are trying to make with beards but you just throw this bear data in there taking the reader by surprise. Needless to say, I wish to learn more about this correlation of "good" bears and programming language success. Are these some kind of enforcer bears you speak of? If so, how are they "good?" Should we be afraid of Microsoft patenting our bear technology?
  • It's The Eric Conspiricy All Over Again!

  • Some more examples (Score:4, Funny)

    by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday April 29 2008, @01:45PM (#23242042)
    These are examples of what is known as the progammer's dress code:

    first [codethinked.com]
    second [codethinked.com]

    I think Woz has the essence of it.
  • For the LOVE OF GOD, would someone PLEASE go grab James Gosling and SHAVE HIS BEARD!!!!
  • What about head hair? Mine's down to the middle of my back :-).

    No beard though.

  • So that means . . . (Score:4, Funny)

    by UnknowingFool (672806) on Tuesday April 29 2008, @01:56PM (#23242166)
    Someone should convince ZZ Top to make a new programming language called LEGS. [ducks]
    • Someone should convince ZZ Top to make a new programming language called LEGS. [ducks]

      Well, if TFA is correct, the programming language created by two of the biggest beards in the world would create a paradigm shift so intense, the collateral damage would be astronomical!

    • Re:So that means . . . (Score:5, Funny)

      by Culture20 (968837) on Tuesday April 29 2008, @02:03PM (#23242288)

      Someone should convince ZZ Top to make a new programming language called LEGS. [ducks]
      Only women would know how to use it.

  • Oh the memories (Score:5, Interesting)

    by oldwindways (934421) on Tuesday April 29 2008, @02:00PM (#23242238) Homepage Journal
    This reminds me of one of my third grade teachers. His class motto was "people with beards are great".

    I can't help but think that he was on to something.

    Actually, it also brings to mind a theme from Cryptonomicon [wikipedia.org], where programmers are referred to as Dwarves, "stout, taciturn, vaguely magical characters who spent a lot of time in the dark hammering out beautiful things." I don't think its a coincidence that beards go along with the territory.
    • Actually, my wife is a dwarf.
      She's a beautiful lady who is outgoing, definitely magical and has coded many wonderful programs.

      And she didn't require a beard to do it!

      • And she didn't require a beard to do it!
        • But, she kept you around because a beard is handy for some things.
        • She just grows the facial hair for winter?
        • That's not a beard, its a...

        Son, never, ever, never, leave the door that wide open again. So many punchlines, not enough time during my lunch to post.

    • People from Northern Europe don't have much facial hair, but a lot of good coders come from there
  • "facial hair and the success of computer languages"

    I presume the article that is not loading is about the corresponding relationship of programmer's facial hair and the language they work in - versus computer languages themselves actually having facial hair.

    C++ (that must be nasty hair growing out of an ear. I had a Chemistry professor with that problem in college)

  • Fortran isn't successful? (Score:4, Insightful)

    by Chris Mattern (191822) on Tuesday April 29 2008, @02:03PM (#23242286)
    Whatever he's smoking, he needs to share.

    • Well, what's your yardstick? Fortran has been very influential, and it has been successful in academia. Since it was designed as a language for science, I suppose you could call it successful.

      Still, taking a broader look at it with respect to who is using it today, and how much code has ever been written in it... you can see how it might be judged unsuccessful.

      I don't have an opinion on it, but I can see both sides.

      • FWIW, Fortran is still used heavily in the airline industry. Generating optimal flight plans, doing weight and balance and optimal flap/thrust calculations, etc. We had between 10 and 20 million LOC in Fortran at NWA, I'd estimate, and that includes the "new" flight planning system.

        • Re: (Score:3, Insightful)

          by Luyseyal (3154)
          Hell, my brother's master's thesis (engineering) involves modeling the lungs and he ended up doing it in Fortran because the math libraries he needed to use were written in Fortran and he didn't want to bother with wrapper code. So there ya go. 2008 and Fortran is still being written.

          -l

  • Me = Beard, Boss = No Beard (Score:3, Funny)

    by PaulMorel (962396) on Tuesday April 29 2008, @02:05PM (#23242324)
    My boss is constantly creating bugs in our software. He has no beard. QED.

    • My boss is constantly creating bugs in our software. He has no beard. QED.
      You are so fired!

      Your Boss
      • lol. If my boss read slashdot, he would probably be a better programmer.

        • lol. If my boss read slashdot, he would probably be a better programmer.

          You mean, reading Slashdot causes beard growth? No wonder I have to shave regularly.

          Oh, yeah, I'm also not a very good programmer.

        • If my boss read slashdot, he would probably be a better programmer.
          I think that's because he'd be too busy reading /. to actually get any coding done.
  • Since I wear a goatee, I should write a computer language! I noticed that Thomas E. Kurtz's black and white picture in TFA (yes, I did. I must be new here) bears a striking resemblance to me at one point in my life, although his mustache is a lot thinker than mine ever was and his glasses are a lot nerdier than mine were. And I never EVER wore a suit and tie unless somebody got married or buried.

    I don't understan the "However, today this light weigh [sic] language losing it's [sic] popularity (less then 2%
    • "I am, and always will be, a pocket-protector wearing NERD!" - Niel Armstrong

      I believe Neil Armstrong also said "I believe that every human has a finite number of heartbeats. I don't intend to waste any of mine running around doing exercises," so I question whether that's actually true. Interestingly, if you Google that saying, there are a few different versions. It would be nice to know the exact words he said, since many versions leave off the "running around doing exercises" part, completely changing the

  • google-analytics.com (Score:4, Funny)

    by mr_mischief (456295) on Tuesday April 29 2008, @02:16PM (#23242476) Journal
    OK, the story is funny. The most interesting things about it, though, are these:

    1. there are stats on it collected by urchin (google-analytics.com/urchin.js)
    2. A Microsoft site was slashdotted

    • OK, the story is funny. The most interesting things about it, though, are these...

      A Microsoft site was slashdotted
      Obviously Microsoft needs more beards!
  • can someone fill me in on what's going on since the summary isn't very descriptive?

    Is it that people with beards are better at creating computer languages or are better at using them? If it's the latter, my supervisor is proof that this isn't the case, given his lack of beard and the fact that he's well versed in many computer languages.

  • Whence RMS? (Score:3, Informative)

    by dynamo (6127) on Tuesday April 29 2008, @02:22PM (#23242586) Journal
    Any discussion of facial hair and geekery is empty without mention of RMS [stallman.org].
  • ... it appears we have taken down a Microsoft server with sheer volume. Robust web server, my ass.

    If only it were one in Washington, rather than one in Europe.
    • Did I just read you implying that there are people here who actually think microsoft makes robust web servers?

      It's funny though that they have these particular servers going down at an actual microsoft-hosted site - you'd think they'd have a backup or something.

      Someone go force those MS programmers to grow some beards!

      • No, the server is running fine, we've just saturated all of the transatlantic cables.

        I'm not having any difficulties reading other sites that are hosted overseas - why would this one be any different?

        Conversely, can you show that the server is indeed up?
  • Of course! You need something to stroke as you sit back and ponder your next line of code.
  • So, if I come across a woman with a beard...

  • Here's a nickel, kid. (Score:3, Funny)

    by turing_m (1030530) on Tuesday April 29 2008, @04:33PM (#23244590)
    Get yourself a better computer.

    http://ozguru.mu.nu/Photos/2005-11-11--Dilbert_Unix.jpg [ozguru.mu.nu]

  • The missing data point is Niklaus WIrth (Score:4, Funny)

    by kraut (2788) on Tuesday April 29 2008, @04:51PM (#23244848)
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:Niklaus_Wirth%2C_UrGU.jpg

    Full beard, no real success for Pascal. Or Modula-2, or Oberon.

    The exception that proves the rule.

    • Re: (Score:3, Informative)

      by treerex (743007)
      Turbo Pascal dominated the PC programming space in the 80s. And the Apple LISA and original Macintosh were programmed in two languages: assembly or Pascal. Hell, the Mac Toolbox used Pascal calling conventions and you had to deal with "Pascal Strings" (the length of the string being the first byte) for years and years, even in other languages. As another commenter said, "get off my lawn."

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