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Star Trek Fragrances
Posted by
CmdrTaco
on Wed Mar 04, 2009 10:08 AM
from the anosmiacs-unite dept.
from the anosmiacs-unite dept.
An anonymous reader writes "I am a trek fan and excited about the new movie, but this is too much. From the Trek Movie Article:
'Genki Wear, known for its licensed science fiction jewelry and perfumes, has produced what might be the most unusual Star Trek product ever: Star Trek colognes and perfume based on the original 1960s television show. ... There are three fragrances planned for 2009 with the monikers 'Tiberius," "Red Shirt" and "Ponn Farr."'" Are they telling us we stink?
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Submission: Star Trek Fragrances by Anonymous Coward
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At Least It's Humorous (Score:5, Funny)
You smell that? That's ambergris [wikipedia.org] from the original humpback whales they used in Star Trek IV:The Voyage Home [wikipedia.org].
I will admit, though I hate the idea, at least the "Red Shirt" has some humor to it--the box has "Red Shirt: Because tomorrow may never come" on it. And the article subtitles the picture with "Live every day as if it could be your last, with 'Red Shirt' cologne." The hilarious marketing slogans basically write themselves though:
Re:At Least It's Humorous (Score:5, Funny)
At the Bar:
Tiberius: Look at those women, my...god, I'll...need a...wingman. Red Shirt, accompany my away team.
Red Shirt: Aw Crap.
Parent
Re:At Least It's Humorous (Score:5, Funny)
Tiberius: Look at those women, my...god, I'll...need a...wingman. Red Shirt, accompany my away team.
What makes you think Denny Crane or James T. Kirk need a wingman to pick up chicks? ;)
Parent
Re:At Least It's Humorous (Score:5, Funny)
Parent
Re: (Score:3, Funny)
Why was that the first place my mind went? I can picture the ad campaign now, "Is your man a Star Trek nerd? Has he always wanted to boldly go where no man has gone before? To seek out new life, and fuck it? Well now he can experience all the extraterrestrial aromas with *dramatic pause*, Eau de la Vag Vert!"
Maybe I should seek professional help. Anyone got Deanna Troi's number?
Re: (Score:2, Funny)
If you're going to boldly go where no man has gone before, you wanna smell like it.
Re:At Least It's Humorous (Score:5, Funny)
Parent
red shirt- (Score:5, Funny)
for when you really expect to get shot down
Parent
Re: (Score:2, Funny)
*squirts some "Red Shirt" cologne on himself*
Here, let my try some of that.
spray
Hmmm...smells pretty g
Re: (Score:2)
Further suggestions to the marketing... (Score:2)
Tiberius - For a man who wants to rule the Universe
Red Shirt - For those that will NOT return from the away mission
Pon Farr - For those that believe the AXE commercials
Eau de Janeway drives me crazy (Score:5, Funny)
You fanbois can keep your Jolene Blalock and Jeri Ryan.
Give me Kate Mulgrew any day. I'd pilot my shuttle into her delta quadrant any day.
Re: (Score:3, Funny)
I'd pilot my shuttle into her delta quadrant any day.
Until she opens her mouth. You'd think with 24th century medical technology they could cure smokers voice.....
Re:Eau de Janeway drives me crazy (Score:4, Insightful)
Parent
Re: (Score:2)
That used to be called "sultry" in B.P.C. (Before Political Correctness)
Hahahaha, BPC? I love it!
Of course smoking used to be cool in movies. Now organizations count the number of light-ups in each film. "Good. Bad. I'm the guy with the cough.".
Yeah, god forbid somebody enjoys doing something that might be bad for them. We'll have to unleash the vice cops on them :)
Re:Eau de Janeway drives me crazy (Score:5, Informative)
Not that I think it's disgusting in the first place but there's nothing to say he's not a "senior Slashdotter" of a similar age to Kate Mulgrew... she's only 53 years old [imdb.com] after all...
I'm 47 for heaven's sake! Not all Slashdotters are spotty teenagers or whiny CompSci graduates...
Parent
Ponn Farr.. (Score:4, Funny)
Re: (Score:2)
Orion slave girls (Score:4, Funny)
Re: (Score:2)
Wow. If Miss Masterson's costume was cut any looser, you'd need to yank that episode off the air, and move it to HBO. (Now there's an idea.)
Re: (Score:2)
Apparently Mudd wasn't involved (Score:2)
Seeing as there's no Venus Drug listed there. I mean, come ON! That'd sell like commuicator replicas at a convention.
Ponn Farr. (Score:2)
Give me some of the Ponn Farr perfume, so I can squirt it on female classmates. Maybe I can finally get laid.
(ducks a spitball)
Fine Print (Score:2)
Fine print on the label:
WARNING: Will take seven years to have desired effect.
Re: (Score:2)
Re: (Score:2)
Species? (Score:5, Funny)
I we sure these are designed to attract the female of the human species?
Re: (Score:2)
Learn to expand you horizons, man!
Black Phoenix Alchemy Labs (Score:2)
Actually, Black Phoenix Alchemy Labs [blackphoen...emylab.com] has been doing this kind of stuff for years. Check out Picnic in Arkham [blackphoen...emylab.com] and the The Neil Gaiman Collection [blackphoen...emylab.com] among others....
I don't know about you, but I've always wanted to smell like Herbert West! (or a Shoggoth!)
I wonder (Score:3, Funny)
Re:I wonder (Score:5, Funny)
Looking for an opportunity to use your nanoprobe?
Parent
Re: (Score:2)
Come on, "Eau de 7 of 9" perfume!
Because, "Resistance IS futile..."
Re: (Score:3, Funny)
even better name... Chanel No. 7 of 9
lol, this shit writes itself!
Re: (Score:3, Funny)
or simply "Borg" with fancy umlauts over the "o" to make it seem European.
As Checkov Would Say (Score:4, Funny)
Perhaps you have heard Russian epic of Cinderella? If shoe fits, wear it!
Geeks are reknowned for their bathing abilities... (Score:5, Funny)
And their showering frequency.
Why every morning, the average Trek geek steps into his shower, hums the Trek theme loudly for 60 seconds, and calls that a sonic shower.
Water hardly ever comes into it.
Am I the only one ... (Score:2, Insightful)
Re: (Score:2)
The first thing that came to my mind, it being a perfume, was "PONG FART".
Yeah, I've never buying that. EVER.
They call it Ponn Farr (Score:3, Funny)
Red Shirt (Score:5, Funny)
Marketing Exec - Let's see.. - burning flesh and polyester?
L - Quite right. And?
M - Cold sweat.
L - Anything else?
M - I'm thinking..a hint of self-defecation?
L - Excellent! We also included some sagebrush to give it that "stuck on a barren desert planet" air.
Vulcan One-Night Stand (Score:4, Funny)
Ponn-Farr and Away
Missing option: (Score:5, Funny)
if your ever attend a scifi-con or comic-con (Score:2)
Unfortunately you the fan frangrance too - pudgy, sweating, teenage males who dont groom often enough.
Trek fan and the new move. (Score:2)
Not possible. The phrase before the conjunction is contradicted by the phrase after the conjunction.
Either you're a trek fan and your horrified by the new movie. Or you're not a trek fan and are excited about the new movie.
All have that unmistakable hint of .... (Score:5, Funny)
A James Tiberius Kirk fragrance? (Score:2)
I can see how this went... (Score:3, Insightful)
Genius. Especially since people will undoubtedly want to "collect the whole set" (granted there are only two at the moment). PROFIT!
Re: (Score:2)
What they need is Trek SOAP. Preferably in the shape of various Trek heroines and female villains. Then the fanboys might actually use it.
Yeah, but not the way it should be used....
Re: (Score:2)
"Red Shirt" - You end up dead before the evening is done.
"Ponn Farr" - Smell like a rutting Vulcan.
Re: (Score:2)
Ok, it's not cologne, but people by fox urine and stink bait, and they're not cologne either (for most people).