Uwe Boll To Quit Making Movies With 1M Signatures 355
An anonymous reader writes to mention that Uwe Boll, the infamous German director behind such video game adaptations as House of the Dead, BloodRayne, Dungeon Siege and Postal, has recently admitted that he would retire from making movies if enough people want him to stop. When FearNet mentioned to Boll a petition online signed by 18,000 people requesting that he cease making films, Boll responded that '18,000 is not enough to convince me.' So how much would be enough? 'One million,' Boll said."
Signed, signed, SIGNED! (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Signed, signed, SIGNED! (Score:5, Informative)
Re:Signed, signed, SIGNED! (Score:5, Funny)
Thank you, ok, clicked the link. Sign petition button... they want my name... alright, Wil...Wheaton... email, wil@...wilwheaton.net... comment. Oh, this should be good. Alright, "Dr Shitboll, if the Special Olympics had a movie-making competition, you would win a medal... and not just one for participation like Wes Anderson."
There, that should do it. Well now Wil can't petition... he probably wouldn't use his own name anyway. I'm sure he'd go with Brent Spiner or something. Ok, done and done.Re:Signed, signed, SIGNED! (Score:5, Funny)
Yeah, he'd probably come up with some sort of clever nickname.
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Re:Signed, signed, SIGNED! (Score:4, Funny)
Re:Signed, signed, SIGNED! (Score:5, Interesting)
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Re:Signed, signed, SIGNED! (Score:4, Funny)
The problem is, there's nothing "so bad, it's good" about his movies, they are in what I like to call the "Shat Out With the Least Amount of Effort" category - not much MST3K can do with that.
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Re:Signed, signed, SIGNED! (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Signed, signed, SIGNED! (Score:4, Insightful)
Nothing wrong with him making crap films. The problem is with making crap derivative works. Crap derivative works that the original artists in most cases are opposed to.
But, then, that's more a problem with copyrights being owned by corporations. The artists get boned and the lawyers and MBAs get paid. And oh how those (sociopathic, since we increasingly select for that in the corporate world) lawyers and MBAs love to sell their children to cannibals for a few bucks.
Copyright to support the progress of the useful arts? If that is truly the goal (and I'm not saying it is, or should be, just if it is), then give the artist more non-transferrable authority.
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It's such a damn simple script:
Guy (or even the typical hollywood team-captain-planet crew) trapped on Phobos. He (they) find out that the moon base is directly over hell. It was easier than making Ramen, and they fucked it up. One of the cooler parts of Doom? The creepy-ass "Hell" p
Re:Signed, signed, SIGNED! (Score:4, Funny)
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For fuck's sake, don't give this clown any more publicity.It's all he lives for.
Re:Signed, signed, SIGNED! (Score:5, Insightful)
He would just say: All these people SAY they hate me, but it means a million people know who I am and have seen my movies. Doesn't matter whether they like them or not, I still get paid.
As Oscar Wilde said, "There is only one thing in life worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about".
Re:Signed, signed, SIGNED! (Score:4, Funny)
Sign the petition! (Score:5, Informative)
http://www.petitiononline.com/RRH53888/petition.html [petitiononline.com]
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Re:Sign the petition! (Score:5, Insightful)
His movies may suck, but at least he is using the money and tax laws as they were intended!
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Re:Sign the petition! (Score:5, Funny)
What's so bad about Uwe Boll? (Score:5, Insightful)
Re:What's so bad about Uwe Boll? (Score:5, Insightful)
Re:What's so bad about Uwe Boll? (Score:5, Funny)
Ba-dum-dum!
Thanks, I'll be here all week!
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Seriously, this guy has made his name by taking decent games and making completely shit movies out of them. I'm saddened to learn he's been working on an adaptation of Far Cry.
http://imdb.com/name/nm0093051/ [imdb.com]
Re:What's so bad about Uwe Boll? (Score:5, Funny)
Imagine your favourite game in the world. You've beaten it on Legendary 15 times. You've read every spinoff novel. You've unlocked every single outfit and cooking utensil. Not only have you rescued the princess, you've persuaded her to get hot-coffee-mod-freaky with you. You own figurines of every single character AND the entire dev team. There's a personal dedication to you on the inside cover of the walkthrough. You've taken out whole battalions with 100% headshots using a catapult and a bag of frozen peas.
This game is your everything. Others might not understand, but it makes you happy, and that's all that counts. Then you find out that there's going to be a movie. On a given release date in the near future, your life will be complete. You impose a media blackout on yourself - no previews, no trailers, no interviews. Nothing that will spoil the anticipation, the cloud of pure joy on which you're floating. This is going to be the best shit ever.
The day arrives. You're at the first screening in the country, sitting front and centre. You've driven 1500 miles to be there. Your hands are shaking. You can't stop grinning.
Two hours later, your eyeballs are bleeding. The only reason you're still alive is that you chewed your own foot off. All that you know and love lies in smoking ruins.
The credits roll... "Directed by: Uwe Boll"
You get where I'm going with this, yeah?
Re:What's so bad about Uwe Boll? (Score:5, Funny)
[...]
You get where I'm going with this, yeah?
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Re:What's so bad about Uwe Boll? (Score:4, Insightful)
Re:What's so bad about Uwe Boll? (Score:5, Interesting)
Please, take my word for it. Don't watch any of them just to find out. I'd hate to have another human being waste 2 hours on that dreck if I can help it.
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Now realize that this is probably the *best* scene in the movie, mainly because it isn't filled with lines like "Guys, check out this book. Looks pretty old, maybe it'll help us!" and "We finally got to the boat but it wasn't there."
Avoid at all costs.
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Which is why you shouldn't sign the petition. His films are so bad that they're wonderful. Don't listen the gamers.
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No. Harold P. Warren [imdb.com] is the worst director ever.
Schwab
Re:What's so bad about Uwe Boll? (Score:5, Funny)
If you can tell me what's so bad about that, I can tell you what's so bad about Uwe Boll movies.
Re:What's so bad about Uwe Boll? (Score:5, Funny)
Re:What's so bad about Uwe Boll? (Score:5, Funny)
Re:What's so bad about Uwe Boll? (Score:5, Funny)
OK. That's not fair.
Unless that screenplay was used for the basis of a video game which in turn was the basis for a Uwe Boll movie.
Re:What's so bad about Uwe Boll? (Score:5, Funny)
Re:What's so bad about Uwe Boll? (Score:5, Insightful)
- -His movies are bad. Really, universally accepted as terrible.
- -He keeps getting handed video game franchises to make movies out of, which is problematic because video game fans hate to see their favorite franchises turned into crappy movies, but it has further reaching implications in that it states, essentially, that the movie industry has no respect for the video game industry since they keep letting this man make shitty movies (that lose money, no less)
- -His initial career was only made possible due to a loophole in German tax law which allowed him to spend other people's money on his bad movies since they could write off the loss for tax purposes. Once that loophole was closed, he decided to stop making expensive ($1M+) movies
- -He's quite arrogant and usually pretty angry (which you might be too if people kept shitting on your movies
- -He lured critcs out to a charity fight [wired.com] and then beat the snot out of them, sending one to the hospital
On a deeper level, whereas people like you and me have to work our asses off, he's rich off his no-talent works because of a (now closed) loophole. He wipes his asses with video game franchises (the Postal movie actually made 9/11 jokes) and he's a pretty despicable human being (see the Wired article above).Re: (Score:3, Insightful)
(Not that I'm saying his movies haven't sucked. Or that video game movies didn't have a history of suckage even before he started making them.)
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-He lured critcs out to a charity fight [wired.com] and then beat the snot out of them, sending one to the hospital
It's a bit worse than that, from the trivia page of Postal [imdb.com], he had also planned on capitalizing off of that by using it as footage in the movie:
In June of 2006, Uwe Boll publicly announced a challenge to his numerous critics to "put up or shut up." Based on certain criteria, Boll will select five of his harshest critics to fight in a series of multi-round boxing matches to be held in Vancouver, British Columbia that will be broadcast over the Internet. He planned to use footage from these fights in this movie, but it was soon discovered that they don't fit into the plot of the movie, so the idea was dropped. Itâ(TM)s claimed that they might be part of the DVD when itâ(TM)s released.
Is it a "charity" fight when you are planning on making money off of it?
Also as further proof, I offer up another bit of trivia from Postal:
Uwe Boll only shot 3 to 5 takes of every scene in the movie. He thought that the biggest strength in comedy is the emotion behind the acting, which cannot be kept when trying the scenes too often.
That little snippet may remind you of Ed Wood [imdb.com].
I assure you, I watch a lot of movies. He is up there in the worst director/writer category. Thank god Germany got its laws straightened out!
Re:What's so bad about Uwe Boll? (Score:4, Interesting)
He's quite arrogant and usually pretty angry (which you might be too if people kept shitting on your movies
He lured critics out to a charity fight and then beat the snot out of them, sending one to the hospital
This guy is my new hero. WTH does it matter that you or I don't like his movies or that they were funded by a tax loop hole? Nada. There are similar tax loops here in the US. One of my college professors made movies using the US version of this. He was pretty up front about all of it. Yep the people who fund him don't care about money or where their money is being spent because they just need to lose some for tax purposes.
I'm impressed that this guy had the guts to beat the snot out of his critics. Most of us would B.S. about it or try to bluff our way out of something, but we just wouldn't have the balls to do that. I'm sorry, but that's great. It doesn't matter how bad his movies are. He's defending them and some one is obviously paying him to make them. This guy now ranks above Cmdr Taco in my people that deserve respect for doing something that I should have done/would like to do book.
Re:What's so bad about Uwe Boll? (Score:5, Insightful)
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Re:What's so bad about Uwe Boll? (Score:5, Informative)
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There's nothing that bad about Uwe Boll (Score:5, Interesting)
Re:What's so bad about Uwe Boll? (Score:5, Insightful)
Re:What's so bad about Uwe Boll? (Score:4, Interesting)
As for "loophole tax shelter"--it was never a loophole, it was an incentive to get people to make movies in germany, which he did. If I were a tax paying german, I could see being upset by this, but since I am not, I don't really see any reason to do this.
Yes, I am being whiny jerk on the internet. That doesn't affect whether what I say is true or not.
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Re:What's so bad about Uwe Boll? (Score:5, Insightful)
As someone who actually works in the film industry, I'm not too quick to complain, since all of his films generally result in people working....
But on the other hand, his films are some of the most cynically exploitive junk you've ever seen. He uses a provision in the German tax code to get tax credits and free money, and uses those to bootstrap foreign distribution pre-sales and video-game tie in deals. In effect, he's made money before he even starts rolling the camera, and so the quality of his film itself is irrelevant as long as it cuts a good trailer, will have a good poster, and has enough "bankable" stars in the project to stimulate box office. It's essentially the Roger Corman model, just without the class and punk authenticity.
Re:What's so bad about Uwe Boll? (Score:5, Funny)
Perhaps this review [agonybooth.com] of his version of Alone in the Dark will be instructive (as well as entertaining).
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A Zelda movie... now that would get me to go back to the theater instead of waiting for DVD releases!
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Most of his movies are merely ok...but considering they are supposed to be based on video games, they tend to have only the name in common. I can't speak for others, but that is why he pisses me off.
Does he know about Teh Internets? (Score:2)
I don't care about his movies, but like many, it would be fun to see someone give up his job just because a million people clicked a button on a webpage somewhere..... such a feeling of power!
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Re:Does he know about Teh Internets? (Score:5, Funny)
Way to go! Uwe Boll will continue making video game movies, even if the petition reaches one million signatures -- and it'll be YOUR, peragrin's, fault.
(Granted, I don't expect him to stop even if the petition does hit one million unique, verifiable signatures, but still, I'll blame you.)
Wanna bet? (Score:2)
Regardless of the petition (Score:2)
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http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Uwe_boll [wikipedia.org]
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How come the studios don't stop him from making movies? It's not like they're drowning in the money he's raking in with Bloodrayne.
I have asked that question of people in the know some time ago, and as I recall it had something to do with German tax loopholes. This meant that the movie could turn a profit (for the right people, presumably it was a huge loss in many books) no matter how badly it did. Have a look at Boll's IMDb entry [imdb.com] and note how many films he has in production or post-production right now. He's not slowing down, he's speeding up.
The REAL reason he's quitting (Score:5, Informative)
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http://www.cinemablend.com/features/Uwe-Boll-Money-For-Nothing-209.html [cinemablend.com]
and after all this time (Score:3, Funny)
what's the loophole? (Score:2)
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you don't really make a whole lot of money doing it that way, but consider this, if you're $5,000 into the next tax bracket, and you donate $10,000 to drop you down to the next lower tax bracket, and dropping yourself down to the next lower tax bracket saves you from paying $20,000 in taxes total, you would do it in a heart beat.
and the worst of it is as long
That isn't how tax brackets work. (Score:3, Informative)
consider this, if you're $5,000 into the next tax bracket, and you donate $10,000 to drop you down to the next lower tax bracket, and dropping yourself down to the next lower tax bracket saves you from paying $20,000 in taxes total, you would do it in a heart beat.
That's not how it works. Tax brackets mean the first X dollars of your income are taxed at A%, the next Y dollars are taxed at B%, the next Z dollars after that are taxed at C%, and so on.
If you have $5000 of your income in the C% bracket, and you donate $10,000 to drop down to the B% bracket, your net income after taxes will decrease, not increase -- because the higher C% rate only applied to that last $5000, not your entire income.
A Challenge (Score:5, Funny)
Re:A Challenge (Score:5, Funny)
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It's Like Wrestling (Score:3, Interesting)
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That wouldn't stop him - he'd just film it.
just let him be (Score:5, Insightful)
Re:just let him be (Score:5, Informative)
You're missing the point. As long as he's in the business, no one's favorite videogames are safe from being turned into horrible movie adaptations, preventing decent adaptations from ever being made. It's self defense. ; )
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As long as he manages to finance them somehow and stay in business, who cares? If you don't like his movies, do what I do: just don't go.
I've seen Uwe Boll but never a Uwe Boll film. The problem as I understand it is that he doesn't write original scripts. Instead, he is often handed a gaming franchise, which he then proceeds to shit upon.
So, if you've played a video game and loved the story, environment, characters, you're already invested in the franchise and, bluntly, "care". To see Uwe Boll shit on something you care about makes you angry. Plus, it is very unlikely that a video game whose movie fared poorly in the theater will get a
Re:just let him be (Score:5, Informative)
How about these for example:
- Good Bye Lenin! (2003) [imdb.com] - nominated for Golden Globe (ok, perhaps that doesn't amount to much, but it's a nice movie)
- Der Untergang (2004) [imdb.com] - oscar nomination for "best foreign language film of the year" (where "foreign" means "not english")
- Das Leben der Anderen (2006) [imdb.com] - won the oscar for "best foreign language film", as well as many other awards in several international film festivals (Great Britain and Canada among those)
That's quite a few movies since Lola rennt (1998). Looks like there are quite a few German directors who are actually doing better after all... those movies are all very much worthwhile watching, by the way (though quite disturbing).
P.S. I'm not German so I'm bound to have missed several more good movies.
That's got to hurt (Score:3, Insightful)
Free publicity (Score:3, Insightful)
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In All Fairness... (Score:3, Insightful)
And does it really matter? Nobody has to watch the movies he makes. Let the market decide.
He's holding the world hostage for.... (Score:2)
bwuaahahahaha... bwuahahahaha... BWUAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.. *cue austin powers music*
Internet petitions... (Score:3, Insightful)
Reverse Pyschology (Score:4, Funny)
I would think the fewer number of signatures would result in him having an increased chance of quiting. If they got 1 million signatures, that would mean that nearly 1 million people actually heard of him! He could claim that he has the presence to draw large numbers of people to his movies!
If he was only able to get 20~ 25,000 signatures no studio is going to look at and say "His works are so beloved that they are not complaining about him!" His career would be over.
The opposite of love is indifference. If you want his career over ignore him.
I wouldn't do it (Score:3, Insightful)
Over 62,000 signatures now... (Score:2)
Ever try to set up 950,000 Gmail accounts? (Score:3, Funny)
Ah more publicity, the last thing he needs... (Score:4, Insightful)
Filmmaking was and never ever has been a democracy. This idea of writing petitions to DEMAND that he stop making movies that you don't ever have to watch or think about is pathetic. 99% of movies are released weekly around the world that you'll never ever know about, simply because you don't care enough. His movies aren't mass-marketed, they're not shoved in your face on TV or fast food restaurants. The only people who are shouting about Uwe Boll loud enough for ANYONE to hear are the people who hate him. Stop hating him, stop shouting about him, and he'll likely go away a lot faster. In fact, if he had been ignored like most other filmmakers he may have gone a long time ago.
No member of the public has a say in who gets to make movies. It's not a democracy. If they want to vote, vote with their dollar. If enough people still pay to see the movies, such that the filmmaker is still in work, then nobody has a right to demand that he goes, except his business partners. That's life. Suck it up. There are bigger injustices in the world to worry about.
Signing a petition is just hilarious and pathetic, and will probably have the opposite effect people intend. This kind of hatred is unhealthy. Have some perspective people. He's not answerable to any of you. Fanboys need to stop kidding themselves into thinking that they have any say in what filmmakers do. They don't. Filmmaking has been a business since its inception, and still is. Even if there were a million signatures he's under no obligation to do anything that a bunch of deluded movie geeks "demand" of him.
He could make a movie where he prints those signatures out, laughs at them, tears them up, and posts the resulting video on youtube. Don't fanboys ever see that the more they are outraged at something inconsequential like this the more ridiculous and hilarious they appear to the rest of us? Pick your battles.
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If the studio gets enough people writing in saying "We'll forever hate you and your children if you license our beloved franchise XYZ to Uwe Boll, and we'll never buy your games again", that's more powerful than simply not seeing the movies.
Someone else pointed out as well that if Uwe Boll makes a craptastic film "version" of a video game, the chances that someone who is capable of making a good movie making a good film versio
How many signatures .... (Score:3, Funny)
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Re:Good lord... (Score:5, Funny)
Ok where's that petition ?
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