LucasArts Embargoes "Clone Wars" Reviews

An anonymous reader writes "George Lucas CGI 'Clone Wars' movie has premiered to reviews ranging from MSNBC's 'Ugly animation and an uninspired storyline drag down the film' to AintItCool's 'I hated the film. HATED IT. REALLY HATED IT.' Critics have noted the animation style, music and slapstick humor had more than a passing similarity to Pixar's Toy Story, and wondered if the introduction of new action figures (sorry, characters) like Baby Jabba Hutt and Jabba the Hutt's Gay Uncle may have taken the franchise a bridge too far. Lucas responding by enforcing an embargo, forcing the reviews to be taken down. While sites like AintItCool.com responded, by then it was just a little too late. Still, the CGI eye candy will make it popular with kids. If the 'Clone Wars' movie can't save the galaxy, can it at least save the franchise?"

Save the Franchise?

I think the franchise was lost among the faithful a long time ago. Somewhere between Mesaa and Jar-Jar Binks.

If in doubt, read this article!

I was QUITE surprised at the scheming behind the scenes when I read this article [businessweek.com] some time back. They *know* what they have and aren't holding back. It is interesting just how little they try to hide it and how no one really cares how much they are milking the franchise.

Some odd FORCE really drives the market. I have a collection with items dating as recent as 1981, valued between $5000 and $7500. The original prices for the items summed to no more than $670!

Re:Save the Franchise?

Eh, the books are still alright. I finished the "Legacy of the Force" series a month-or-so ago and enjoyed it though I was expecting more of a finale.

As far as video games go, some of the recent games were decent as well. The Jedi Knight series was great and the previews for their upcoming 3rd person game sound positive. Then again I haven't played Battlegrounds or SWG. Personally I want an updated "Tie Fighter" game, that was probably their best sim.

Re:Save the Franchise?

I second that motion. TIE Fighter was definitely one of the best games of all time. LucasArts really had a streak going there for a while where everything they touched turned to gold. TIE Fighter, Full Throttle, Monkey Island, Dark Forces... I remember Star Wars Rebellion moved me into a completely new genre of vidja games. Recently, I played the first Galactic Battlegrounds, and as soon as I got over the spiffy graphics, I realized the company doesn't have the same outstanding sparkle it used to.

Re:Save the Franchise?

You young whippersnappers! Back in my day, all we had to hate were the Ewoks! And we liked it that way!

Re:Save the Franchise?

Ewoks were cool

Wow. Seriously dude, I've never, ever heard those words used together like that.

I know! The Clone Wars is supposed to be so awful it'll make someone five years from now post "Jar-jar was cool."

Re:Save the Franchise?

As far as I'm concerned, it was lost when Lucas decided to have Greedo shoot first over a decade after the movie finished its theatrical run. It's a bit late now, George.

Re:Save the Franchise?

Me, too. This was the point at which I realized Lucas was making a product, not a film.

Re:Save the Franchise?

No, I could have put up with Jar-Jar, but the midichlorians were the true knife in the back.

However, the fanboy runs strong in this one, so I hope that one day there will be another good film or game for the universe, though for now I'm living in hiding on Tatootine.

Re:Save the Franchise?

Yeah, the midichlorians really threw the spirituality/mythology themes under the bus. Oddly enough, I saw the last 2/3 of episode 1 Phantom Menace just last night - I hadn't seen it since the theater when it first came out. I remember walking out of the theater thinking "well, that wasn't too bad", but last night all I could see was Mannequin Skywalker mugging through "oops, I accidentally blew up the android control satellite" as R2D2 comically whistles and squeaks, Natalie Portman's ridiculous accent, the preposterous locale for the big lightsaber duel, etc. etc. etc. It's one thing to suspend disbelief, but that movie suspends believability.

And then of course there's Jar Jar.

Re:Save the Franchise?

Well, I was 8 when I first watched A New hope. I loved it. I watched it again few months ago...And Frankly I found the scenario a bit too simple. But my nephew simply loved it...So the real show for me was watching him :-).

Don't you feel that we are simply getting older and the star wars franchise isn't for us anymore? Kids seem to enjoy it as much as we did (IMHO).

As a 30's, I prefer is Battlestar Galactica II. I prefer six over the princess anyday ;-)

Re:Save the Franchise?

Mmm... Six. Did you see the episode where her girlfriend, Seven ate Nine?

Re:Save the Franchise?

I think they really missed the Han Solo type of character in the new stuff. Han Solo showed you can be kickass without the force. The new movies relegated everyone without the force to cannon fodder. While watching force power fights are fun they don't really make good story as they have a lot of power. But there isn't really anyone to relate to. the Jedi were too goody goody. The sith were mostly just evil. (Duko had a chance as a good vilan but they just gave him one movie (Which was horible) and killed in 5 minutes in the next) Han Solo was the good guy but had a dark side which made him more human and recognizable. The new movies didn't have that. They kinda tried with Jar Jar but he was too stupid and attempt to be a comic role (which R2D2 and C3PO took as well) we needed a serious character who was a normal guy who kicked ass.

Does taking down reviews ever help?

They produced a crappy film once again. Now they are trying to sculpt the reaction to it on the Internet. Do they not realise it is futile? For a mainstream film, it *might* make a dent on the number of people who stay away - but for a very nerdy sci-fi franchise its practically suicide. I haven't even read any reviews yet but I am already drawing the conclusion its a dire film based on the fact they are attempting a cover up. The disconnect between the reality of online culture and the actions of people trying to sell things to the Internet using public seems to be growing, not shrinking as you would expect it to do with more young people entering the workforce with direct experience of the culture.

Re:Does taking down reviews ever help?

Seems to me that if you're a reviewer, your reputation for independence is more important than early access to films. Who cares if you review a movie early, if that review is nothing but a mouthpiece for Lucasfilm marketing?

Every reviewer with integrity should publish what they want, when they want. If the entire industry bars them from reviewing films until they're open, then people will learn not to see films on opening day. I don't think the industry wants that.

Streisand

If Lucas really wants those bad reviews out there front and center, he's doing a bang up job of ensuring that.

Embargo?

You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.

Re:Embargo?

You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.

Inconceivable!!!

More For Kids, I Think.

I think this one is indeed more for kids. I know my Son (9 years old) is near ape-shit about going and seeing this opening day. I'm a bit skeptical about it. It'll be nice to see another new Star Wars film, but at the cost of no real story / character development / etc., I don't know if I want this to taint my view of the Star Wars saga.

I was only 5 or 6 the first time I saw A New Hope in the theater. Indeed, as many, I was blown away and it changed the way I pictured "space" and all that. That side comment to ObiWan from Luke of "You fought in the Clone Wars?!?" in "Ben's" hut was always a very interesting thing to me. "What were the Clone Wars?" "What are the Clones?" (it was never really said the Stormtroopers were all colones and certainly no hint of them being of Bobba's Dad). I wasn't until Ep2 that "The Clone Wars" was really brought into the story and it was very little more than a passing mention in that movie. Ep3 kind of touched a bit more on it, but not really. With this movie we're supposed to see more of the struggle of the Clone Wars. I say struggle because it more about the story behind the battle. The battle we've seen (well, bits and pieces), but we've seen it. We haven't seen the story of it.

I hope it's not as bad as this reviews are making it out to be. Since 1977 I have had huge thoughts and dreams about these half-mentioned "Clone Wars". I hope this is it.


But it is a "new" Lucas movie...

What?

You say that Star Wars shouldn't be made into a cartoon for children? And you also say jar-jar binks was a bad idea for the series?

That doesn't make any sense. Okay look, this is Chewbacca. Chewbacca is a Wookiee from the planet Kashyyyk. But Chewbacca lives on the planet Endor. Now think about it; that does not make sense!

Why would a Wookiee, an eight-foot tall Wookiee, want to live on Endor, with a bunch of two-foot tall Ewoks? That does not make sense! But more important, you have to ask yourself: What does this have to do with this review? Nothing. Ladies and gentlemen, it has nothing to do with this review! It does not make sense! Look at me. I'm a slashdotter defending a major mistake in starwars history, and I'm talkin' about Chewbacca! Does that make sense? Ladies and gentlemen, I am not making any sense! None of this makes sense! And so you have to remember, when you're sitting there in the move theater reviewing this movie, does it make sense? No! Ladies and gentlemen of this supposed review, it does not make sense! If Chewbacca lives on Endor, you must acquit!

A long time ago... say around 2003

...There were Clone Wars. [imdb.com] Animated.
Directed by Genndy Tartakovsky of the Dexter's Laboratory and Samurai Jack fame.

And they were decently animated and had some good stories.
The Lucas empire even dropped a more than a decent part of the prequel trilogy's story into those episodes.
If you look at the duration of all three seasons you come up with about two films of about an hour+, or one of two hours+.
Hell... General Grievous is one big WTF if you don't at least take a glance at the animated series.

But I guess that was not good enough.
Or translated from Lucaspeek - It was not a bunch of lifeless 3D rendered puppets, reimagined once again.

What is the matter with Lucas?
Is he really trying to degrade the franchise beyond the "meh" level?
The entire Star Wars universe is slowly being turned into a "you know... that saga nobody really cares about any more, but once it was the best saga evah".

For fucks sake, lay it off for a while.
It is becoming embarrassing to say you actually enjoyed any of it. Ever.
Like it is American Pie or some other endlessly sequelled gag-humor movie.

It's Warner Bros., not LucasArts

At least, according to AintItCool's [aintitcool.com] reply.

Not the biggest movie and its STAR WARS

The franchise was already lost. A new Star Wars movie is coming out to theaters and its not even close to being the #1 geek movie of the summer. Even if you took out the superhero movies and Star Trek, its still lagging behind. Ten years ago that would have been inconceivable as even re-releases were huge.

You can't live off past glory forever.

Re:First Amendment?

No, not even the spirit. Two parties made a contract with each other, and one is insisting the contract is followed. That's just not a first amendment issue at all.

Except that it doesn't make sense

Lets not forget that episodes 1-3 were not exactly cheap to produce. If Lucas had sold out, he would have had the movies made in hong-kong on a shoe-string budget and then raked in the cash based on the brand alone. THAT is selling out.

What he did instead is forget what made the original movies such a success, not just with kids but with adults as well (it was my mom that introduced me to Star Wars and she was an adult mother when it was released) and instead attempted to make the movie appeal to kids without understand what kids want.

Basically, he ignored his matured fanbase and tried to appeal to a new demographic that just didn't exist.

Lets face it, kids today got better entertainment then 3 films that are nothing but a punch and judy show (KIDS: look out punch BEHIND you PUNCH: where KIDS: BEHIND YOU), the jedis never being able to spot the baddie until it is way to late.

It might have worked as high fantasy with a doomed ending with just a tiny bit of hope remaining but that doesn't work in a kiddy movie.

I like the ending of episode three were you see the would be rebels dispersing, but everything before was just... Well not bad exactly, just that the actors could not act, Lucas can't write or direct and just who was the story aimed at anyway?

The most obvious failure? Nobody quotes the new star wars to honor it. "These are not the droids you are looking for" "I am your father" "I find your lack of faith disturbing" "It is a trap".

Where are the episode 1-3 quotes?

George Lucas one had luck producing a movie, it is known by fans that this was not his own creation, his wife for instance seems to have played a large role. Other directors did ESB. He should go back to producing but frankly, his most crowning achievement, getting Star Wars made in the 70's is no longer anything complex with the fortune he has know and the standard high special effects movie we got know. People forgot just how ground breaking A New Hope was from a producers job. That is gone now. Lucas has nothing to do but sign the checks and so he gets involved with other things that were previously left to others.

Lucas did not make A New Hope, he produced it. He did make episode 1-3. That's the problem.