Ask Internet Expert Dave Barry

This is a man who obviously knows a lot about the Internet. I am not making this up. He wrote a book about it. He has his own blog, his own Web site, and his own online alt.fan newsgroup with its own FAQ. Not only that, he is in a band and writes a syndicated humor column that often covers matters of interest to Slashdot readers. What are you going to ask him? Up to you, as long as you hold it down to one question per post. We'll send Dave 10 of the highest-moderated questions and post his answers as soon as we get them back, after which we're sure many alert readers will have much to add even if they haven't heard about Bennett Haselton's excellent automated Dave Barry column generator.

Re:Can you say something funny about

[Anonymous Coward]

No but he can probably come up with a few zingers for jackasses who post stupid things to Slashdot...

Question

[Anonymous Coward]

Corporations, more and more every day, claim they made the internet. They are trying to convince the masses that if it wasn't for them, the intenet wouldn't had existed in the first place and that "it's just another one of their great services".

But the only thing corporations have contributed to the internet is pollution in the search engines, silly banners, spam, DNS confusion, etc.

What is you opinion on this?
DO you belive that one day in 100 years from now, history will be so twisted that our grandchildren will believe that Al Gore made the internet?

Important question

[An Onerous Coward]

Dave,

I've come to the conclusion that the single worst song of all time is "My Sharona" by Knack. Observe:

My Sharona by Knack

Oo my little pretty one, pretty one
When you gonna give me some time, Sharona?
Oo you make my motor run, my motor run
Gun it coming off of the line, Sharona
Never gonna stop, give it up, such a dirty mind
I always get it up with a touch of the younger kind
My-ee ey-ee by-ee ahee ah woo!
Ma ma ma my Sharona
Come a little closer, over here
Close enough to look in my eyes, Sharona
Keep a little mystery, kissin' me
Runnin' down the length of my thigh, Sharona
Never gonna stop, give it up, such a dirty mind
I always get it up from a touch of the younger kind
My-ee ey-ee by-ee ahee ah woo!
Ma ma ma my Sharona
Ma ma ma my Sharona
When ya gonna get to me, get to me
Is it just a matter of time, Sharona
Is it a destiny, a destiny
Or is it just a game in my mind, Sharona
Never gonna stop, give it up, such a dirty mind
I always get it up from a touch of the younger kind
My-ee ey-ee by-ee ahee ah woo!
Ma ma ma ma ma ma ma ma
Myee ey-ee by-ee ahee ah woo!
Ma ma ma my Sharona
Ooooh my Sharona

What is the best way to cope with a bad song in your head? I personally favor slapping my forehead with my palm while shouting "Out! Out! Out!" but I've heard that some people have had great success by stabbing their shoulder with an ice pick.

As an expert on bad songs, I'm sure your insights into this matter can help alleviate a great deal of human suffering.

OK, A Serious One Now - Copyright

[Snork Asaurus]

My father first put me on to your column in the newspaper and I have been reading it for over 10 years since. One of the things that I feel solidified my fandom (and persuaded me to purchase several of your books in the last 6-7 years) was finding and reading copies of your old columns on web sites and in newsgroups. 7 or 8 years ago, they were very easy to find.

Recently, I looked for a specific old column to forward to a potential future fan (who had an experience that you wrote about) and discovered that is now almost impossible to find your older works on the 'net. It looks like someone has been pursuing the copyright issue. I could therefore only vaguely describe the column to him and a potential convert may have been lost.

So, in light of that and all that is going on with respect to the value of intellectual property rights and copyright vs. the marketing potential of having old works freely available, what is your view?