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story
este writes
"According to an article in the Inquirer, if the RIAA maintains its rate of lawsuit issuance, it will take more than two millenia for them to sue evey P2P file trader. The author accounts for many additional difficulties facing the RIAA in this daunting task."
At that rate... (Score:2, Funny)
Re:At that rate... (Score:2, Funny)
When am I gonna get served? (Score:5, Funny)
Prior art: (Score:5, Funny)
Excellent! (Score:5, Funny)
Yes, I realize (Score:5, Funny)
But if there are 60 million p2p users, the probability of getting sued is pretty low, even if it does depend on the number of files you have shared.
Perhaps the next version of KaZaA will have a suit-o-meter, that will actively display your probability of being sued by the RIAA
But won't most of the copyrights expire by then? (Score:5, Funny)
Should have read THAT on the contract before signing.
Re:At that rate... (Score:4, Funny)
I wouldn't put it past the RIAA. Imagine how much money our grandchildren will have. They can pay it all in damages to the RIAA with interest.
Maybe they will make vague SCO threats against our grandchildren telling them to pay for their grandparents licensing, or face litigation.
Re:It's the deterrent, stupid. (Score:5, Funny)
Reminds me of my days in that co-ed dorm.
Re:At that rate... (Score:1, Funny)
Wont happen. The Earth is a world without end. Isaiah 45:17, Ephesians 3:21
Re:Sounds like a profit model to me... (Score:5, Funny)
No wait, don't answer that...
Distributed Sueing ! (Score:4, Funny)
A cascade chain of Court Letters will be sent from Lawyer branch to Lawyer branch and only the lasts in the distribution tree will have to send the letters.
After the close observation, the RIAA has been put to court by Bittorrent inventor.
Also, the Courts are looking at this apparent pyramidal scheme as a new, innovative way to collect money from unsuspecting lusers.
See you later, this was AN, from Slashdot News Channel...
Re:Sounds like a profit model to me... (Score:3, Funny)
I'm sorry, I just couldn't resist.
Re:Sounds like a profit model to me... (Score:5, Funny)
And so would the amount of damages they could (potentially) claim.
Which basically means that the RIAA can stop publishing music altogether and just turn itself into a consortium of lawyers. After all, with infinite future income (from damages) guaranteed by Congress and Disney Corp., how can they lose!
the solution is obvious (Score:5, Funny)
i will start by suing myself. you can help too by donating your spare cpu cycles towards our cause.
Re:It's the deterrent, stupid. (Score:5, Funny)
Doing the math (Score:5, Funny)
That's enough attorneys laid end to end to cover every sidewalk in New York [nycvisit.com].
Let A Man Do The Calculations (Score:5, Funny)
Hey babe, let me show you how a man calculates all this: After whipping out my sliderule and factoring in the size of the aforementioned subpoenis', I come up with 2200.25, a much bigger number.
When they file the BIG one... (Score:3, Funny)
Re:It's the deterrent, stupid. (Score:1, Funny)
Reminds me of my days in that co-ed dorm.
I was luckier: I scared a few but nailed the rest.
60 million minus one (Score:2, Funny)
That should shave a few seconds off...
I suggest an opt-out model... (Score:5, Funny)
Failure to opt-out would mean that you plead guilty, the penalty for which is 95% of all earnings, including future earnings, over the next 2191.78 years...
PS: If you have paid our associate SCO, you have been automatically opted-out.
Done.
-
You'd be more believable (Score:5, Funny)
Re:It's the deterrent, stupid. (Score:5, Funny)
Sorry, someone had to give a mock anti-filesharer response.
Re:Sounds like a profit model to me... (Score:3, Funny)
If the RIAA can milk recording artists for money well after the artist is dead, I should be able to, erm, liberate the music well after I'm dead. Not that I will die - I'll have my friends renew me.
Re:Article text (Score:3, Funny)
Fuck the RIAA and Mitch Bainwol
How to profit from the RIAA (Score:4, Funny)
It's a futures market for RIAA lawsuits, aka "America's New Economy".
Foxtrot strikes a chord... (Score:2, Funny)
In my day... (Score:2, Funny)
Re:A Different Approach... (Score:2, Funny)
This is the RIAA, not Amway
Just do what the MPAA does (Score:2, Funny)
If you make a shitty product, nobody is going to want to steal it.
Last time I checked, 2001: A Space Travesty (2000) [imdb.com], From Justin to Kelly (2003) [imdb.com], Legally Blonde 2: Red, White and Blonde (2003) [imdb.com] and Santa with Muscles (1996) [imdb.com] aren't exactly topping the p2p charts.
Re:Why even try? (Score:3, Funny)
2200 years... (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Sounds like a profit model to me... (Score:5, Funny)
RIAA: Who says copyrights expire!? Damn liar, step up and be seen!
PS: Has anyone else ever chuckled at the irony of perhaps lobbying for copyright to be extended retroactively forever, just so Mickey Mouse (and Sonny Bono's estate!) could get the bejeebers sued out of him by the estate of the Brothers Grimm, et al? It'd force a reality-check on the lobbyists who are whitewashing congress with this belief that consumers are the only cheap-ass nigglin' thieves who want to use stuff without paying a royalty.
I can see it now (Score:2, Funny)
You've been sued by the RIAA! We've provided a means for you to be sued quickly and securely through our website. Click on the link below:
http://www.riaa.org/sue.cgi?ticket=A1847XZ54
and enter your payment details. You ordered these songs:
Linkin Park/Generic NuMetal
$250,000
Britney Spears/Am I Still Popular?
$250,000
Shipping
$0.00
Total
$500,000
Please send payment within 7-10 business days or be subject to serving life in prison.
Thanks again for stealing from the RIAA!