What Your Choice of Linux Distro Says about You

iter8 writes "NewsForge has an article explaining what your choice of distro says about you. There's no comment on what using Windows or OS X does for your rep. I use Mandrake, so that makes me suave and sophisticated."

Don't believe everything you read.

[Rahga]

"I use Mandrake, so that makes me suave and sophisticated."

In other news, Bud Light gets you lots of chicks. In bikinis. And twins.

Oh, well... It's a Saturday.

Attention all OS X users:

[BandwidthHog]

Please refrain from making 'lickable' jokes.

That is all.

They forgot Caldera

[antifoidulus]

Using Caldera says that if your linux install fails, sue someone.

Great. No Slackware.

[Xpilot]

So I'll just make one up:

Slackware users are grumpy, bearded old Unix sysadmins who prefer things be done the "good old fashioned way", making their Linux distro stick to traditional Unix principles, through 10 feet of snow, uphill, both ways!

P.S. I'm a slackware user myself, don't flame me ;) It was tongue-in-cheek.

Does Fedora count?

[Sensible Clod]

I don't see any mention of Fedora. Do they expect everyone to believe it's the same as Red Hat's commercial distro?

More likely, we Fedora users are just too good for words.

Suse users like a *clean* desktop?

[KublaiKhan]

Obviously, theyv'e never seen mine...the only reason that the icons even line up is because the automatic line up feature's enabled. As for my non-computer desktop....it's been declared a Superfund site, and the EPA guys will be along any time now with the hazmat suits.

I guess I'm using the wrong distro, huh?

Lisandro

[Lisandro]

Gentoo

If John Wayne had been a Linux user, he would have used Gentoo. Gentoo users are pioneers, people who like to live close to the metal, and don't mind hurting themselves on sharp objects. Some feel that Gentoo users are simply lazy louts who always want to have a ready excuse for why they are not doing constructive things with their computer, other than compiling or recompiling the latest kernel, app, or hapless passerby. The official Gentoo motto is, "If it moves, compile it."

Paraphrasing Maddox, Gentoo users are baddases and listen to Pantera. Red Hat users get their nails done and shop for purses.

Ok, i'll shut up now :)

Some edits needed.

[jZnat]

Debian: this user typically tends to stick with older machines and enjoys using the "unstable" versions that are actually the current version, just not tested by the developers themselves yet (because they are too busy playing UT2004 and Doom 3).

Gentoo: this user typically likes to brag about how they were able to install linux using only a bash prompt, yet they conveniently disregard the fact that they used a fully understandable documentation on how to install it that even a linux newbie could understand.

Slackware: this user likes the name, tries it out and falls in love. They enjoy the .com domain for it and will likely recommend it to all their friends, similar to that of some Firefox users.

Damn Small

[loomis]

What if I use Damn Small Linux? Does that make me very tiny?

Not a pity...

[SaDan]

Slackware users don't need to be compared to the rest of that trash!

Oops... Did I say that out loud? ;-)

Gentoo

[toupsie]

I use Gentoo because I believe that an OS should be loud, obnoxious and have glass packs on the exhaust. Of course my Shuttle XPC has a "Type R" sticker on it.

What Gentoo REALLY says about you

[Have Blue]

http://funroll-loops.org/ [funroll-loops.org]

What about Ubuntu?

[Anonymous Coward]

Does that mean you like threesomes?

Re:Uhm..

[Anonymous Coward]

Damn! I and ended up as Slackware. This just confirms the fact that women see me as unattractive, unfriendly and that I have a small package.

Re:Lisandro

[Rob Riggs]

You misspelled "Porsches".

Because the poster forget

[BluhDeBluh]

Both NewsForge and Slashdot are part of OSTG [ostg.com].

Got Slackware Right Here

[Jameth]

Since they didn't cover Slackware, here you go:

Slackware users are paradoxically obsessed with being cutting edge and traditional at the same time. They love to point out that their distro has all the latest programs, but explain that it's ancient installer is 'still up to the task' and that the lack of powerful package management 'leaves them in control'. Slackware users like to do things for themselves and tend to ignore what popular opinion (and logic and reason and all rational thought) says is good.

And, since they didn't include Fedora either, here's that one:

Fedora is synonymous with Red Hat, but many of its users believe that it isn't. The song of the king of the Linux street, Fedora is popular with those who want to be in the middle of the road, but leading the crowd. Unfortunately, they are actually be pushed along from behind, with the silly-hat men leading from behind. Fedora is very loyal to its customers, except when they want something that Red Hat doesn't, in which case they consider the feature risky.

Re:It works...?

[dagur]

What was the problem? Couln't play mp3 files in Fedora? Installing software in Debian gave you the error "bash: rpm: command not found"?

Re:It works...?

[nomadic]

What if I use the distro that I use because it's the only one that I could get to actually work?

Then you must enter an intense period of training to hone your installation skills. Go out now and get a copy of NetBSD and begin. After you can install that, you can return to Linux in triumph, for you will be able to install anything.

Sure

[Sivar]

I had opened the link in a new tab and was about to read it, and then I caught the "I use Mandrake, so that makes me suave and sophisticated." part, which instantly removed any faith I may have had in the test. ;-)

Re:Don't believe everything you read.

[jZnat]

Don't forget about FG!

"Partucket Patriot beer; if you drink it, hot women will have sex in your backyard!"

Re:hear hear!

[DogDude]

uhhh, recompile the kernel and use whichever distro you choose.

Oh, and people say there isn't support out there for Linux! Look at this pearl, this gem of wisdom... "recompile the kernel". In just 3 words, this obvsiously astute Linux expert managed to confuse, irritate, AND alienate! Wow, now that's what I call real user support; a real tight community! It's a wonder why more people aren't using Linux these days.

Star Trek + Linux

[starseeker]

I think it would be more fun to pick a Star Trek race for each user to assume at a convention.

Mandrake - Humans. Like it simple and straightforward, but can be badass at need and gets things done.

Redhat - Vulcans. People may not like them, but they do a lot of things right and everyone owes them.

Debian - Romulans. Tough, but strangely elegant. Deserve more respect than they get.

Gentoo - Klingons. Never do it the easy way if there is a hard way - it makes one stronger!

If any MacOSX guys wander in, they get to be the tribbles. Soft, cuddly, and relatively harmless.

Windows users unlucky enough to stray in - the Borg, of course. The one common enemy of everybody else in the room.

Psst! You forgot the disclaimer:

[Vintermann]

Newsforge is owned by etc...

What Your Choice of BSD Distro Says about You

[HenryKoren]

OpenBSD - You are a paranoid schizophrenic and you think everyone is out to get you. You consider your pores security holes

NetBSD - You take solace in the fact your operating system can run on playstation2 and dreamcast and is thus superior.

m0n0wall - You are the Calista Flockhart of the BSD world. You like to keep your base at six megabytes because anything more would be bloated.

Dragonfly BSD - You are a rebel without a clue. You are against the status quo establishment and all the conformist sheep that follow it. Anybody who questions your judgment can go fork themselves.

FreeBSD-CURRENT - You are a crusader, living on the bleeding edge of the Open Source revolution. You build worlds, merge masters, and slay kernel panic modes with nothing more than an UPDATAING file to defend you.

FreeBSD-STABLE - You are a corporate whore... caring more about production, stability, and uptime than any reasonable person. Your if it ain't broke don't fix it mentality makes OS developers ponder the true purpose and meaning of their life quests.

The Duke?

[barks]

John Wayne sould use Gentoo?!

Right on! High fives around...drinks on the house!

"International men of software" all use Mandrake?

[Anonymous Coward]

"Suave and sufisticated" indeed. Yes, it is really all true. Those of us who use Mandrake prefer our Bordeaux wines, fast Renaults, and even to spend time outside the computer room, frolicking with our women along the Sein! Yes, Mandrake is definately for those who intend to make it into the "next generation"!

But it was a shame they did not include the "huggers" of the new Ubanto distro. I wonder what the author would have made of that!

Bar pickups got a lot more complex

[GMFTatsujin]

Single White Gentoo-Using Male seeks chique Mandrake-Using Female for late-night RPGing...

So, what, now instead of knowing that my Sun Sign is Leo with Mercury in ascention, I instead have to be able to recite my USE flags with /etc/portage/package.mask?

What your choice REALLY means...

[bwoodring]

• Mandrake: You're a nerd
• Red Hat: You're a nerd
• Suse: You're a nerd
• Debian: You're a nerd
• Slackware: You're a nerd
• Knoppix: You're a nerd
• Gentoo: You're a nerd

BONUS!!!!

• FreeBSD: You're a nerd
• OpenBSD: You're a nerd
• Solaris: You're a nerd

Re:Star Trek + Linux

[Anonymous Coward]

I would have pegged the Windows as Ferengi -- I see MS and the Rules of Acquisition as a natural fit, not to mention the complete lack of ethics

Long live the Gentoo empire!

[fireboy1919]

To accept binaries is dishonorable.
He whose distro is not compiled from source will never enter the halls of Stovakor.

Any ko'tal who cannot compile his apps to brings dishonor upon his family, and is a weak piece of baktag.

We do not allow the weak to live.

Re:Got Slackware Right Here

[Anonymous Coward]

Surely you mean:
Slackware users are smart, cool, popular, interesting, reliable, funny, drop dead gorgeous and good in bed.

Re:Don't believe everything you read.

[nwbvt]

That really says a lot about the effectiveness of Coors Light's famous "twins" commercials. People remember the ads, but associate them with the wrong product.

Re:A distro doesn't say a damn thing about anyone

[phoxix]

I remember you, god damn you still write lots of crap on slashdot.

Remember this post [slashdot.org] of yours, and my reply [slashdot.org] ? I remember explaining basic things to you.

Sunny Dubey

Re:I'll bite

[Jameth]

In case you were wondering, I am a Slackware user. And, if you had read the fucking article you would have realized that all of the distro-archetypes were comedic and sarcastic, you moron.

Re:Not a pity...

[EvilAlien]

Thats right, all two of them are in a totally different league than the drooling Linux masses...

Re:Don't believe everything you read.

[Daniel Dvorkin]

I was gonna say. Sure, if John Wayne had played a Linux user in a movie ("Well, now ... pilgrim ... looks like your kernel needs a recompilin'") he'd have played a Gentoo user. In real life, Mr. Marion Morrison wouldn't even have touched Linux; he'd have been Windows all the way.

Re:The article is a troll

[node 3]

The entire point of the article is to piss off everyone using any of those distros.

Ah, a HURD user.

seriously...

[ylikone]

debian: you value freedom overall
gentoo: you value a fast/ultra-tweaked system
slackware: you value conventional standards
knoppix: you value the ability to upgrade by just burning a new cd
linspire: you value being able to get stuff done without any dirty work
mandrake: you value being able to get stuff done without much dirty work
suse: you value the ability to get stuff done without much dirty work, and you hate the french
redhat: you value supporting the "big" distro
fedora: can't afford redhat, you value being a guinea pig for the "big" distro or are too scared to try anything new
caldera: you're a f****** idiot!

Re:Star Trek + Linux

[Anonymous Coward]

Nah, I think SCO ~= Ferengi, except SCO is even more annoying.

Re:Does Fedora count?

[NTmatter]

Full-time emplyment works quite well with gentoo, actually. When you wake up, you start compiling the results of last night's 'emerge sync' and then by the time you get home your compile should be finished and you'll sink a few minutes updating your config files. When the weekend rolls around, you'll finally have the time to use your freshly compiled system. Bonus points if you use your lunch break to check up on the status of your compile.

Re:Don't believe everything you read.

[ameoba]

With a name like Marion Morrison, I'd think he'd own a Mac.

OS X and Windows Users

[Anonymous Coward]

OS X - you are liberal, rich, snobby, and/or gay.

Windows - you are a newbie, brainwashed (think Borg), and/or have a life outsife of computers.

Accuracy in Reporting!

[Anonymous Coward]

Slackware: You have an old-school stick up your arse. Doesn't that chafe?

Debian: You are like Ayn Rand: you insist that everything in your system be internally consistent, at the expense of nobody else being able to understand you.

Red Hat: You want to be Microsoft, except without the jackboots and the viruses. Well ... maybe the jackboots.

SuSE: You remember how fascist and self-righteous the Novell administrator for your high school was? Surprise -- that's you!

Knoppix: You're good at getting Windows users to try Linux. But hey -- they're Windows users.

Mepis: You sound like a child talking about urinating.

Fedora: You eat Nike cheeseburgers and wear McDonald's sneakers, to show that you are not a corporate whore.

Linspire: You are root. All the time. Isn't that k3wl? Here, have a virus!

Re:Don't believe everything you read.

[rizzo420]

you're obviously not from RI... it's paWtucket

I hardly can understand what I read

[apankrat]

I hardly can understand what I read, leave alone believing it.

SUSE
* If you like beer, horns, or green eggs, you'll like SUSE. The recent acquisition of SUSE by Novell is similar to Vince Lombardi's Green Bay Packers adopting the West Coast offense...

"Green eggs" ? "Bay Packers" ? "Coast offense" ? Huh ?!

What your distro choice REALLY says about you

[Glonoinha]

Debian - Nerd

Gentoo - Nerd

Knoppix - Nerd

Linspire - Nerd that shops at Walmart

Mandrake - Nerd

MEPIS - Nerd

Red Hat - Nerd

Slackware - Nerd

SUSE - Nerd

Re:Don't believe everything you read.

[Aetrix]

Oh, well... It's a Saturday.
Jeez - only total losers post on Slashdot on Saturday nights instead of going out on the town...

Oh...

Re:Slackware?

[dildo]

I don't use a distro. I do everything myself. I even make my own shoes. I am a bad ass.

My first computer was a mancala, and I was so bad ass that I programmed my own version of doom using nothing but red pebbles -- and after that I wrote a C++ compiler for an analog pinball machine (you think that compiling all that crap for gentoo is a pain in the ass for your pentium 200? this thing had to do like, 6-multiball play for three months straight before KDE was finished, but now I just use it to run TCPdump on the cluster of pinball machines I've got in my house).

I'm still trying to get X-windows running on my toaster, but the video card is REALLY obscure so I may have to write the driver myself. For security, I'm using 4096-bit ssl connection between the plug and the wall, and I'm taking notes from OpenBSD by encrypting the crumbs at the bottom so some script kiddie from Finland doesn't know what kind of bread I've been eating.

I'm moving forward to cyborg stuff -- I'm going to start small by getting LOGO installed on a baby tortoise, but I need to find a good wireless protocol (WEP = weak encryption protocol. ha!) to send commands to it. I don't want the NSA to know what goes on between me and my tortoise.