RIAA Lawsuits from a John Doe's Perspective

An anonymous reader writes "Nick Mamatas was sued by and subsequently settled with the RIAA for file sharing. He wrote a piece for the Village Voice describing his experience, and he goes on to briefly discuss the implications of "John Doe" file-sharing lawsuits. He argues that the labels are using these suits as a source of profit; he also claims that when his lawyer contacted the RIAA to discuss the suit, he was put in touch with a regular staffer, not another lawyer. 'It feels like they're doing a volume business,' Mamatas' lawyer notes."

The RIAA

[Tobias.Davis]

The RIAA is to America what GNAA is to Slashdot

Volume business?

[Stick_Fig]

Hey, at least they're doing something they're good at.

Just think, if the lawsuits decrease, record execs will suddenly whine, "OH WE ARE STARVING, WE SUED EVERYBODY! HELP US ORRIN!"

Your local RIAA Office here to Serv You!

[chaffed]

Your friendly and conveniently located RIAA offices are here to take your extor... settlements. Just stop into one of our many locations.

We are also accepting unsolicited settlements. If you feel guilty about steeling from the table of our hard working label execs just drop by and we'll settle everything.

Re:A volume business?

[Gentlewhisper]

It is pretty sad that our courts are used for this.. but repeat after me guys, "Chi-Ching!"

Lawsuits for profit!

[sabernet]

Man, that article has opened my eyes. I never would have guessed all these lawsuits were used to generate profit for the cartel.

-----

I'll file this under "duh".

It's like tort

[Quiet_Desperation]

A few companies started settling instead of fighting frivilous lawsuits. Now it's the primary source of income for some law firms, and its side effects are a measurable drain on the economy.

So will society let this one spin horribly out of control until it is a vast, pathetic cataclysm of Brobdingian proportions, that makes strong men weep, strong women faint and baby Jesus cry?

Of course we will. The question was rhetorical.

Re:Your local RIAA Office here to Serv You!

[Quiet_Desperation]

Your friendly and conveniently located RIAA offices are here to take your extor... settlements.

Maybe they can set up drive-thrus.

Instead of a Jack-In-The-Box clown, we can have giant, glowing plastic heads of Ashlee Simpson, 50 Cent or Shania Twain.

Ha! That's silly of me!

People don't even download Ashlee Simpson songs for free.

I wonder if a giant, glowing head of Ted Nugent is a sign of the End Times. You could pay your fine and buy some ammo at the same time.

Re:It's a profit center!!

[Orcspit]

Hmm, Dollar a song at iTunes, Author of the article had about 2500 songs downloaded. Sounds like you might as well just download all the songs now and take your chances, pay RIAA later. Saves you from having to go through all the trouble of paying for iTunes.

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[account_deleted]

Comment removed based on user account deletion

Re:A volume business?

[HotNeedleOfInquiry]

Especially when they turn it up to eleven

Re:The RIAA

[Anonymous Coward]

The RIAA is to America what GNAA is to Slashdot

I never realised that a business association of music monopolists who get custom laws written and sue people had so much in common with a bunch of white middle class nerds who troll slashdot pretending to be gay black guys. Well, you learn something new every day.

so what happens....

[hawkeye_82]

... when you call the RIAA now?

"If you're being sued for file-sharing, please press 1
If you were caught using Kazaa, press 2
If you were caught using Morpheus, press 3
If you would like to speak to a lawyer, press 4"

*beep*

"Please hold while I transfer your call to the next available legal representative."

*listen to 5 minutes of Ashlee Simpson*

"All our lawyers are currently suing other customers. Your money is very important to us. Please hold for the next available legal representative"

Comment removed

[account_deleted]

Comment removed based on user account deletion

Re:The RIAA

[Anonymous Coward]

You just perfectly described the recording industry's approach to rap music :-)

how to beat the riaa

[circletimessquare]

i'm sorry, but i will never buy digital media in my life ever again

i haven't bought a single CD since i fired up Napster in 1999

my formula (using eMule) for not being caught is two-fold:

1. load your shared folder up with porn
2.if you must download linkin park or evanescence, the kind of stuff the riaa is sniffing?:
a. stop all of your downloads except that song you want with the most sources and the best connections
b. suck it down in under a minute
c. immediately get it out of your shared folder
d. if you do it fast enough, all the porn suckers you have cultivated will flood out anyone trying to get that drop of water pop song in your sea of masking porn

remember: the riaa only goes after those who make pop songs available, not those who download it

and speaking of pop songs?

i have the BEST solution for beating the riaa on that subject matter:

i embrace world music, i let my mind wander

currently, i'm into filipino music (i live in new york city)

the thing to do is is to expand your musical interests to things beyond the usual pop crap, and you are also therefore using the new file sharing technology to its greatest benefit: connecting with resources that otherwise would be beyond your grasp in the pre-internet universe

embrace world music, screw the pop crap, and you win two ways:

1. you won't be on the riaa's radar
2. you'll grow new brain cells as you develop an awareness of a world beyond your nation's borders, of music beyond your stupid local pop music industry

there really is a lot of good stuff out there that isn't the usual robbie williams or christina aguilera or kylie minogue crap

free your mind and give the bastards who want to market you sugar water the finger in the process

and for those of you with a holier-than-thou attitude about me ripping off poor third world musicians?

if it weren't for the filesharing networks, I WOULD NEVER BE EXPOSED TO THE ARTIST I AM LISTENING TO IN THE FIRST PLACE

solve that quandry and get back to me with your holier than thou attitude

Re:so what happens....

[trime]

Surely you forgot a step...


You have listened to five minutes of Ashlee Simpson. Please enter your credit card number followed by the hash key so we can charge you for your unauthorised use of this music. If you would simply like to add it to your law suit, press the star key now.

Re:300 million person march?

[avalys]

Somewhere in Russia, a village is missing its propaganda minister.

Don't be so cheap!!

[Pac]

This is the kind of thing that gives lawyers a bad name. You describe a fantastic money machine then spoils everything by saying "Personally, I'd set up in a small town, could get rent for $1000, a receptionist for $8/hr, and a paralegal for under $30k. A pure profit machine."

With this kind of profit, set up in a nice $5k office, pay $20/hr to the girl in the front desk, make the paralegals beg to work for you by paying them $60k-$100k. You'd still be making tons of money and everyone in the office would be happy...

Re:A volume business?

[LittleBigLui]

More sex and drugs... I can't think of a better way to enable myself to boycott the recording industry!
--
Send whiskey and fresh horses!

Your sig scares me.

Re:The RIAA

[EvilNTUser]

" The RIAA is to America what GNAA is to Slashdot"

Not really, the GNAA trolls are sometimes creative and entertaining.