Lucas To Redo Star Wars In 3-D

Lucas To Redo Star Wars In 3-D 593

Posted by Zonk on Friday March 18, 2005 @03:12PM from the nature-trail-to-hell dept.

Warlock7 writes "You might have thought that it was going to all be over on May 19 with the release of Episode III: Revenge of the Sith. Well, not so fast. It seems that George Lucas is planning to re-re-release the Star Wars films in a new 3-D format. There are also several other directors that are interested in this new technology and they are trying to get theaters to install new technology to allow the showing of their films in the new 3-D format [req free reg]."

Lucas To Redo Star Wars In 3-D

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Please Say It Ain't So (Score:5, Funny)

by the_mad_poster ( 640772 ) writes: <shattoc@adelphia.com> on Friday March 18, 2005 @03:13PM (#11978183) Homepage Journal

What does Lucas do anyway, just wake up every now and then and think "in what new ways can I rape the fond memories of a younger generation"?

This guy's gone totally batshit insane. I think the best thing anyone could do for the franchise at this point is put the man in a damned straighjacket and throw him off the brooklyn bridge with a lead weight in a backpack on his back.

I can respect that some people may have liked the first two pieces (even if it wasn't my cup of tea, so to speak), and this third one might be okay, but this is a little ridiculous.

PLEASE GEORGE JUST STOP. It was a great idea the first time through with episodes 4-6, and I understand that you had to round it out with the first three parts of the series, but you're just hurting us now. Please.... please stop hurting us.

The damn pimp! (Score:1, Funny)

by Anonymous Coward writes: on Friday March 18, 2005 @03:13PM (#11978188)

It continues!

Is it Safe? (Score:4, Funny)

by ackthpt ( 218170 ) * writes: on Friday March 18, 2005 @03:14PM (#11978197) Homepage Journal

I remember this crushing migraines those blue/red 3D glasses left me with. However this works, I hope they've really tested it. It's all good clean fun, until you realize it screws up your eyes like the Opti-Grab and people sue Lucas, Cameron and the theaters for all they've got.
"Who is Redo and where is Start?"

Maybe this time... (Score:5, Funny)

by rekenner ( 849871 ) writes: on Friday March 18, 2005 @03:14PM (#11978205) Homepage

Solo won't shoot at all.
He'll have a badly redubbed over diplomatic way out of it...

Naaah. This'll be a good thing, if Lucas doesn't mess with his own work again.

Just what we didn't need... (Score:3, Funny)

by ShadeEagle ( 153172 ) * writes: <tehshingen@gmBOYSENail.com minus berry> on Friday March 18, 2005 @03:15PM (#11978207) Journal

Oh yay.

Jar-Jar in even MORE 3d.

3D Jar-Jar (Score:2, Funny)

by bitswapper ( 805265 ) * writes: on Friday March 18, 2005 @03:15PM (#11978216)

3d Jar-Jar...

Thanks. Now I'm going to have nightmares. The bad kind.

Penny Arcade (Score:5, Funny)

by Anonymous Crowhead ( 577505 ) writes: on Friday March 18, 2005 @03:15PM (#11978221)

This DVD set will be called "Star Wars: The Expensive Edition".

Why Stop? (Score:5, Funny)

by ackthpt ( 218170 ) * writes: on Friday March 18, 2005 @03:16PM (#11978223) Homepage Journal

PLEASE GEORGE JUST STOP
Four words: Jar-Jar in 3D
"Oh the humanity!"

9 Episodes... (Score:5, Funny)

by argent ( 18001 ) writes: <peter@slashdot.2 ... m ['.ta' in gap]> on Friday March 18, 2005 @03:16PM (#11978226) Homepage Journal

You might have thought that it was going to all be over on May 15 with the release of Episode III: Revenge of the Sith.

Lucas originally promised 9 episodes.

his fans are going to make sure he delivers, even if it involves necromancy.

3D JarJar???? (Score:2, Funny)

by Lord_Frederick ( 642312 ) writes: on Friday March 18, 2005 @03:16PM (#11978227)

Isn't a 2D JarJar torture enough?

I wonder if the technology exists? (Score:4, Funny)

by Anonymous Coward writes: on Friday March 18, 2005 @03:17PM (#11978237)

Could he possibly add a third dimension to the characters as well?

*crosses fingers* (Score:2, Funny)

by WinDoze ( 52234 ) writes: on Friday March 18, 2005 @03:17PM (#11978239)

Deep Throat next, perhaps?

Nooooo! (Score:5, Funny)

by CrazyTalk ( 662055 ) writes: on Friday March 18, 2005 @03:18PM (#11978248)

Its like a million voices all cried out in agony, and were suddenly silenced. Surely this is some cruel early April fools day joke? How much more craptacular can he make those movies? And how many ways can he find to ruin them again and again?

forget SW (Score:4, Funny)

by justforaday ( 560408 ) writes: on Friday March 18, 2005 @03:18PM (#11978252)

Forget Star Wars, I'm more excited about "The Adventures of Shark Boy & Lava Girl in 3-D." I mean, c'mon, with a title like that you know it's gotta be good!

Re:Please Say It Ain't So (Score:4, Funny)

by The Amazing Fish Boy ( 863897 ) writes: on Friday March 18, 2005 @03:18PM (#11978253) Homepage Journal

What does Lucas do anyway, just wake up every now and then and think "in what new ways can I rape the fond memories of a younger generation"?

... and then he said 3D animation was Jesus Juice and that Jesus would've liked 3D animation if it had've existed and then I went to sleep on his bed and....

Re:Please Say It Ain't So (Score:3, Funny)

by CockblockTheVote ( 849450 ) writes: on Friday March 18, 2005 @03:18PM (#11978257)

Please stop hurting America!

finally! (Score:5, Funny)

by darthpenguin ( 206566 ) writes: on Friday March 18, 2005 @03:19PM (#11978268) Homepage

I fully support George Lucas in his endeavors to make the Star Wars films fit his original vision [penny-arcade.com].

Horse, meet whip... (Score:5, Funny)

by cliveholloway ( 132299 ) writes: on Friday March 18, 2005 @03:19PM (#11978269) Homepage Journal

Horse, meet whip. Horse? Are you OK Horse?

Medic!

cLive ;-)

Re:Please Say It Ain't So (Score:5, Funny)

by phyruxus ( 72649 ) writes: <jumpandlink@@@yahoo...com> on Friday March 18, 2005 @03:19PM (#11978284) Homepage Journal

Every time George Lucas re-releases a Star Wars movie, god kills a domo-kun.
PLEASE, Think Of The Domo-Kuns!

Oh, the horror! (Score:2, Funny)

by ParadoxicalPostulate ( 729766 ) writes: <saapadNO@SPAMgmail.com> on Friday March 18, 2005 @03:20PM (#11978293) Journal

From the article, Jackson screened remastered portions from the "Lord of the Rings" trilogy that featured a looming Gollum and battle dust that virtually fell onto the audience.

I do hope that Lucas doesn't adopt that particular idea of Peter Jackson's.

Jar Jar is bad enough when projected on a screen. I'd hate to think about how I'd feel if he were "out and about" in the audience, so to speak.

Please, Jar Jar, stay where you are. Don't come any closer.

Re:9 Episodes... (Score:2, Funny)

by CockblockTheVote ( 849450 ) writes: on Friday March 18, 2005 @03:22PM (#11978322)

Also known as "Nature Trail to Hell - In 3D"

Dr. Tongue's 3-D House of Sith (Score:1, Funny)

by Anonymous Coward writes: on Friday March 18, 2005 @03:23PM (#11978341)

2 hours of sticking different colored light sabers in my face.

WHEN WILL IT END??? OH GOD, WHEN WILL IT END??? (Score:4, Funny)

by DurendalMac ( 736637 ) writes: on Friday March 18, 2005 @03:23PM (#11978342)

Jesus H. Christ on a grilled cheese sandwich, give it up, George! You've raped Star Wars repeatedly in the ass with a razor-coated cock sheath while beating it over the head with a broken bottle and biting it in the neck! It's dead, you fucking necrophiliac! You've killed it, and yet you STILL want more? Burn in hell, Lucas.

Re:Maybe this time... (Score:5, Funny)

by Shadow Wrought ( 586631 ) writes: <shadow.wroughtNO@SPAMgmail.com> on Friday March 18, 2005 @03:24PM (#11978357) Homepage Journal

Actually, this time the audience shoots first;-)

Re:southpark (Score:2, Funny)

by Neil Blender ( 555885 ) writes: <neilblender@gmail.com> on Friday March 18, 2005 @03:25PM (#11978363)

anyone else remember the southpark bit about this?

Are you refering to the the sanctimonious episode? Oh, wait, that includes all of them.

Cool---Chewie vs R2 chess match (Score:3, Funny)

by FerretFrottage ( 714136 ) writes: on Friday March 18, 2005 @03:29PM (#11978404)

So we'll be able to see the holographic "chess" match as it was intended...finally....of course too many releases of Star Wars are prone to make original fans want to pull Lucas' arms from his sockets.

Hollywood Logic (Score:5, Funny)

by Doc Ruby ( 173196 ) writes: on Friday March 18, 2005 @03:29PM (#11978406) Homepage Journal

When you've got a 1D story, make a 3D picture!

Awesome! (Score:5, Funny)

by geeveees ( 690232 ) writes: on Friday March 18, 2005 @03:29PM (#11978415) Homepage Journal

In this version, Alderaan shoots first!

Re:Why Stop? (Score:5, Funny)

by ReverendLoki ( 663861 ) writes: on Friday March 18, 2005 @03:30PM (#11978430)

Four more: Slave Leia in 3D.

Re:Why Stop? (Score:5, Funny)

by IdleTime ( 561841 ) writes: on Friday March 18, 2005 @03:32PM (#11978453) Journal

Four words: Jar-Jar in 3D
I like Jar-Jar.... Is that a problem on /.?

Re:Please Say It Ain't So (Score:5, Funny)

by Anonymous Coward writes: on Friday March 18, 2005 @03:35PM (#11978493)

But George Lucas has been CONVICTED OF HAVING A MONOPOLY on Star Wars! As a convicted monopolist I'm actually forced to watch his movies. Stormtroopers with ray-guns to my head take me to the theaters, force me to pay for my tickets and watch these movies. Dear God, please make him stop!!!

Re:Maybe this time... (Score:3, Funny)

by JPelorat ( 5320 ) * writes: on Friday March 18, 2005 @03:36PM (#11978495)

Or maybe he'll just be a very gassy Han Solo..

G: Uth laynuma. Chespo kutata kreesta krenko, nyakoska!

H: Yeah, I bet you have... *frrrrrrrrt*

G:

Re:Please Say It Ain't So (Score:3, Funny)

by the_mad_poster ( 640772 ) writes: <shattoc@adelphia.com> on Friday March 18, 2005 @03:36PM (#11978497) Homepage Journal

I'm sorry sir, there's a pedantic dick running around out here and it seems to have gotten itself lodged in my ear somehow. Could you please speak u... oh wait... you're the...

Never mind.

Re:Nooooo! (Score:2, Funny)

by Justin205 ( 662116 ) writes: on Friday March 18, 2005 @03:45PM (#11978608) Homepage

How much more craptacular can he make those movies? And how many ways can he find to ruin them again and again?

You just had to phrase that like a challenge, didn't you?

I really would have preferred to never know..

That'll show you youngsters! (Score:5, Funny)

by Thud457 ( 234763 ) writes: on Friday March 18, 2005 @03:46PM (#11978619) Homepage Journal

mmmmmm.... Behold the glory of the gold bikini in stupendous Lucasvision!!!! [leiasmetalbikini.com]
It's like they're following me...

Re:Maybe this time... (Score:5, Funny)

by Winterblink ( 575267 ) writes: on Friday March 18, 2005 @03:49PM (#11978653) Homepage

This is Lucas we're talking about here. He grasps at new ways to rape this classic film like a drowning man for a glass of water. Thus I predict the new 3D enhanced scene will play out thusly:

GREEDO: You can tell that to Jabba. He may only take your ship.

HAN: Over my dead body.

GREEDO: That's the idea. I've been looking forward to killing you for a long time.

HAN: Yes, I'll bet you have.

Greedo fires his laser, and the scene switches to Bullet Time (tm). The camera twirls with nausia-inducing speed around the laser blast as it slowly, inexorably, approaches Solo's head. Solo bursts vertically out of his seat to execute a Trinity-style crane kick, sending Greedo sailing backwards of his chair while dodging the laser blast. In mid-air, Solo draws his blaster, drains its power cell into Greedo's twirling body before he hits the ground. Return to Real Time (tm).

HAN: Sorry about the mess.

Re:Here's another idea (Score:3, Funny)

by The-Bus ( 138060 ) writes: on Friday March 18, 2005 @03:54PM (#11978692)

Great. Long teary-eyed close up shots between Luke's effeminate grandson and his trusty butch friend.

Re:Maybe this time... (Score:2, Funny)

by Genrou ( 600910 ) writes: on Friday March 18, 2005 @03:55PM (#11978710)

Greedo shoots himself in disgust.

Re:Please Say It Ain't So (Score:5, Funny)

by Babbster ( 107076 ) writes: <aaronbabb@NoSPaM.gmail.com> on Friday March 18, 2005 @04:10PM (#11978893) Homepage

More accurate translation: All you people who have ridiculous over-fucking-reactions to a damned movie need to find something better to care about.
PS- Han shot first.

Re:Why Stop? (Score:4, Funny)

by xSauronx ( 608805 ) writes: <xsauronxdamnit@noSPAm.gmail.com> on Friday March 18, 2005 @04:10PM (#11978909)

no
thats just a problem ;)

Prediction for 2006 (Score:2, Funny)

by Odd John ( 806803 ) writes: on Friday March 18, 2005 @04:24PM (#11979066)

In 2006 Lucas will release episodes 4 to 6 in Smell-o-vision.

You can smell the oily robots.

You can smell Luke's sweaty shirt.

You can smell the ozone as light sabers split the air.

You can smell it when Lord Vader's battle cruiser dumps the garbage! (ignore that it was in a vacuum)

And best of all! You can smell Princess Leia's hot, sweaty, brass bikini!

Re:9 Episodes... (Score:5, Funny)

by Anonymous Coward writes: on Friday March 18, 2005 @04:27PM (#11979112)

"The only thing that DOESN'T happen is that Leia isn't tied up and placed on a set of train tracks by a moustached villain."

Thanks for the idea, I'll go put this into Revenge of the Sith right now!

-George

Re:Please Say It Ain't So (Score:5, Funny)

by StalinsNotDead ( 764374 ) * writes: <umbaga.gmail@com> on Friday March 18, 2005 @04:35PM (#11979183) Journal

PS- Han shot first.

There's rumors that after Episode III is released and they do a 6-DVD extra-final director's cut. Neither Greedo nor Han shoots. Instead they settle their differences peacefully and just agree to disagree.

Re:Please Say It Ain't So (Score:2, Funny)

by quetzlcoatl ( 844909 ) writes: on Friday March 18, 2005 @04:44PM (#11979273)

I agree. His impact on the movie industry is undeniable.
You ARE talking about Howard the Duck, right?

Re:Titanic-like episode iii = winner! (Score:2, Funny)

by MrP-(at work) ( 839979 ) writes: on Friday March 18, 2005 @04:54PM (#11979366)

"does this mean Jar Jar dies quickly, yet abhorrently painfully???"

Sadly, no.

Instead, there is a scene of Obi-wan painting a picture of jar jar while he poses nude

And yes he does die, but it's a slow death while holding hands with obiwan

Re:For the web-deficient (Score:2, Funny)

by Random832 ( 694525 ) writes: on Friday March 18, 2005 @04:58PM (#11979432)

you're sure it's not this one? this is the one that comes to mind: http://www.timtate.org/images/think_of_the_domokun .jpg [timtate.org]

Re:Why Stop? (Score:5, Funny)

by MutantHamster ( 816782 ) writes: on Friday March 18, 2005 @05:28PM (#11979730) Homepage

now, if only they'd also show outtakes in #d as well (rumour has it, that thing had a hard time staying on) *grin*
Yes! You may finally find out what a breast looks like!

Re:9 Episodes... (Score:1, Funny)

by Anonymous Coward writes: on Friday March 18, 2005 @05:32PM (#11979788)

don't you fucking dare

Re:Please Say It Ain't So (Score:3, Funny)

by rjelks ( 635588 ) writes: on Friday March 18, 2005 @05:51PM (#11980016) Homepage

......this is not the flamewar that you're looking for.

Re:Why Stop? (Score:3, Funny)

by doomsayerxero ( 448334 ) writes: on Friday March 18, 2005 @06:11PM (#11980196) Homepage

We should get Lucas to head up Debian. He does too many release, Debian does too few.

Re:Why Stop? (Score:2, Funny)

by Eccles ( 932 ) writes: on Friday March 18, 2005 @07:53PM (#11980985) Journal

Yours must not be quite low enough...

Re:Please Say It Ain't So (Score:3, Funny)

by d34thm0nk3y ( 653414 ) writes: on Friday March 18, 2005 @08:49PM (#11981318)

Please stop hurting America!

Why does he hate freedom?

Re:Why Stop? (Score:2, Funny)

by Anonymous Coward writes: on Friday March 18, 2005 @09:55PM (#11981675)

... show outtakes in #d as well ...
Don't you just hate it when you have to use a keyboard that doesn't have a capital '3'? ;)

There may be more comments in this discussion. Without JavaScript enabled, you might want to turn on Classic Discussion System in your preferences instead.

Please Say It Ain't So (Score:5, Funny)

The damn pimp! (Score:1, Funny)

Is it Safe? (Score:4, Funny)

Maybe this time... (Score:5, Funny)

Just what we didn't need... (Score:3, Funny)

3D Jar-Jar (Score:2, Funny)

Penny Arcade (Score:5, Funny)

Why Stop? (Score:5, Funny)

9 Episodes... (Score:5, Funny)

3D JarJar???? (Score:2, Funny)

I wonder if the technology exists? (Score:4, Funny)

*crosses fingers* (Score:2, Funny)

Nooooo! (Score:5, Funny)

forget SW (Score:4, Funny)

Re:Please Say It Ain't So (Score:4, Funny)

Re:Please Say It Ain't So (Score:3, Funny)

finally! (Score:5, Funny)

Horse, meet whip... (Score:5, Funny)

Re:Please Say It Ain't So (Score:5, Funny)

Oh, the horror! (Score:2, Funny)

Re:9 Episodes... (Score:2, Funny)

Dr. Tongue's 3-D House of Sith (Score:1, Funny)

WHEN WILL IT END??? OH GOD, WHEN WILL IT END??? (Score:4, Funny)

Re:Maybe this time... (Score:5, Funny)

Re:southpark (Score:2, Funny)

Cool---Chewie vs R2 chess match (Score:3, Funny)

Hollywood Logic (Score:5, Funny)

Awesome! (Score:5, Funny)

Re:Why Stop? (Score:5, Funny)

Re:Why Stop? (Score:5, Funny)

Re:Please Say It Ain't So (Score:5, Funny)

Re:Maybe this time... (Score:3, Funny)

Re:Please Say It Ain't So (Score:3, Funny)

Re:Nooooo! (Score:2, Funny)

That'll show you youngsters! (Score:5, Funny)

Re:Maybe this time... (Score:5, Funny)

Re:Here's another idea (Score:3, Funny)

Re:Maybe this time... (Score:2, Funny)

Re:Please Say It Ain't So (Score:5, Funny)

Re:Why Stop? (Score:4, Funny)

Prediction for 2006 (Score:2, Funny)

Re:9 Episodes... (Score:5, Funny)

Re:Please Say It Ain't So (Score:5, Funny)

Re:Please Say It Ain't So (Score:2, Funny)

Re:Titanic-like episode iii = winner! (Score:2, Funny)

Re:For the web-deficient (Score:2, Funny)

Re:Why Stop? (Score:5, Funny)

Re:9 Episodes... (Score:1, Funny)

Re:Please Say It Ain't So (Score:3, Funny)

Re:Why Stop? (Score:3, Funny)

Re:Why Stop? (Score:2, Funny)

Re:Please Say It Ain't So (Score:3, Funny)

Re:Why Stop? (Score:2, Funny)

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crosses fingers (Score:2, Funny)