Star Wars Fans in Line... at the Wrong Theater

Rollie Hawk writes "More than a month before the premiere of Revenge of the Sith, fans are already lining up. Outside Grauman's Chinese Theater, eleven diehard Star Wars fans (i.e. lifelong virgins) are waiting for tickets to go on sale. Unfortunately, it appears that the guys with girlfriends will have the last laugh as the Chinese Theater isn't even premiering the film."

Triumph

[The I Shing]

I can only imagine what Triumph the Insult Comic Dog would to have to say about this group.

Suckers

[chrispix]

Take that for not having a girl friend!

HA!

[2.7182]

That's funnier than any joke I could attempt to post here!

Not virgins...

[Flaming Foobar]

You are confusing Star Wars fans with Slashdot posters. I know quite a few female SW fans. Many of them even have kids.

Star Wars Kid

[Kimos]

Evidently the author of the article isn't aware of how desired the Star Wars Kid [jedimaster.net] is...

In other news...

[lucabrasi999]

In other news, 600,000 Catholics are in line at the wrong basillica....

haha

[Cruithne]

Hilarious.



... so wait, are they still waiting?

The funniest bit

[Blapto]

From the article:

"The telling thing is -- for me, at least -- if the film is not playing at the Chinese ... I have zero desire to see it at all," a fan who calls himself Obi Geewhyen posted on the message board at Liningup.net. "I'm in it for the lineup only and don't give a darn about the conclusion of this lackluster, so-called 'Star Wars' series."

Not only does he have a bit of a geeky tag, the reason he's waiting isn't to see the films but, well, to wait.

Am I a bad person,

[Anonymous Coward]

if I feel a little better about myself after reading that?

Makes you wonder...

[jeffy210]

If they don't have internet access, and no one tells them... how long will they sit out there?
And then what type of a fit will they throw when they go to the correct theatre and there's already a line.

Re:Not virgins...

[Anonymous Coward]

Well, they had to do something while waiting in line.

Re:Suckers

[Suhas]

How can they be "Suckers" if they do not have a girlfriend.

pssst... having a boyfriend, while technically correct, does not count.

Not just the wrong theater...

[Robotech_Master]

They were already waiting in line for the sequel to two rather lackluster movies. I'd almost say that that standing in line at the wrong theater pales by comparison to standing in line for the wrong movie.

Almost, because God help me, I'm looking forward to this one too.

Hey, wait a minute

[Dachannien]

eleven diehard Star Wars fans (i.e. lifelong virgins)

Uh, hello, Kettle? This is Pot, returning your call....

So, the real story is ...

[Anonymous Coward]

... Star Wars fans line up to avoid watching yet another disappointing episode ... ?

Haha

[Jakhel]

Han SolOWNED

Completely Sensible Behaviour

[R.Caley]

The best place to be when one of Lucas's abortions is released is in a cinema showing something else.

Re:Triumph

[cablepokerface]

Indeed, in line for ages, pulling their own Chuck Norris Texas Ranger lever.

rotflol

[http101]

"The force is EXTREMELY WEAK with this crowd!"

Are you sure the Chinese theatre wasn't showing Space Balls or something??? I mean, really, this is something QUITE obvious. You'd think these people would at least make sure they're at the right theatre!

{shakes head} Damned Lemmings...

Re:Triumph

[TrippTDF]

That reminds me- Remember the wizard that shows up in the clip of Triumph making fun of the Star Wars geeks? I was on the subway coming back from Coney Island one day last year (after the Mermaid Parade) and that guy was on the car with me

All I could do was chuckle to myself while he read proclimations from scrolls.

Re:Am I a bad person,

[jrrl]

Only a LITTLE better?

-John.

Re:Not virgins...

[Anonymous Coward]

Hell, quite a night when you play Luke for your gal while she playing Leia :]

Um, you have incest fantasies? Ewww.

I feel a great disturbance in the force...

[Anonymous Coward]

...as if a bunch of dorks cried out in anguish, and were suddenly silent...

C'mon, it -has- to be said...

[mccalli]

This not the theatre you're looking for. You can go about your business. Move along...

Cheers,
Ian

hmm

[Joe the Lesser]

Difficult to see, the future is.

This is not the premiere you are looking for

[Progman3K]

move along...

Re:The funniest bit

[Anonymous Coward]

Obi Geewhyen?

Either he's a doctor of the female arts and nerd...

Or else he's a nerd +5 with absolutely no hope of ever glimpsing what a Doctor of Obstetrics and Gynecology sees all day long... ObGyn indeed!

Nice job getting his handle into print though! ;)

Don't leave me in suspense...

[imag0]

...Is the plastic, lifeless acting about the same? ;)

Shortest reigning pope in history...

[KlomDark]

Pope Goestheveezl was the shortest reigning pope in the history of the Church, reigning for two hours and six minutes on 1 April 1866. The white smoke had hardly faded into the blue of the Vatican skies before it dawned on the assembled multitudes in St. Peter's Square that his name had hilarious possibilities.

Re:Not virgins...

[jd142]

Does this mean the parent is a religion geek?

And does this mean the Catholic Church made the first and most widely spread retcon?

Re:Triumph

[Chanc_Gorkon]

Those Star Wars fans are alright...FOR ME TO POOP ON!

Re:Not virgins...

[laplandsix]

I think you're thinking of the immaculate reception a fine bit of Steelers lore. Hmmmm, wait I'm on slashdot, they don't do chicks OR sports. Damn.

Re:Not virgins...

[Golias]

Hell, quite a night when you play Luke for your gal while she playing Leia

What people do at home is their own business.

Hopefully your self-esteem can handle it when she asks you, "aren't you a little short for a stormtrooper?"

Re:Hey, wait a minute

[Anonymous Coward]

It's busy

So sad...

[Dorf on Perl]

Last paragraph of the article:

Hope springs eternal, Sprague said. After the last two "Star Wars" films, "We're all a little beaten down," she said. "But this one could be it!"

"Lucas loves us, he really does! He doesn't mean it when he craps on us! You'll see! This time for sure...!"

Bah, I say, bah!

You might be a complete geek if....

[catdevnull]

-You spend 6-8 week in line for movie tickets to Star Wars and no one at work really misses you.
-While you're in line, your mom is just glad to have your ass out of the house so she can fumigate your room.
-In your zeal to be "first" (you're probably the same geeks that post "first post" trolls on /.), you overlook the possibility that this theatre may not premiere your beloved movie.
-Even slashdotters make fun of you.

Re:Hey, wait a minute

[Sc00ter]

Slashdotted payphone!

Dear Pot

[Letter]

Dear Pot,

The grandparent post used the expression incorrectly. The correct idiom is "the pot calling the kettle black." The poster thought the pot called the kettle "back", which makes no sense at all.

The idiom dates back to times when all cookingware was cast iron. It refers to a person finding a fault with someone else while the accuser is guilty of the same fault herself.

For example:

"You're calling her forgetful? That's a case of the pot calling the kettle black."

or

The case here, where someone submitting a story to Slashdot describing others as "lifelong virgins." Since everyone who reads Slashdot is clearly a lifelong virgin, that's like the pot calling the kettle black.

Sincerely,
Kettle

Not so bad

[sjonke]

They could actually end up seeing a decent movie.

Re:Triumph

[first.last]

I'll buy you a six-pack if you go tell them that in person.

Re:Hey, wait a minute

[Jugalator]

Cool!

Good to know that they have created a Star Wars Episode III Queue Ranking Organization using time accumulation to determine the rank, and aren't geeky at all! :-S

Field of Geeks

[AtariAmarok]

"Oh yeah... they also said that they don't believe the movie isn't showing there and that "they always say that, but it always shows".."

Ah! The "If we queue, it will show" philosophy of movie-line waiting. I want to see them push it to the limits: line up weeks ahead of the debut day outside an abandoned grain silo in Nebraska. Let's see if their rule works there!

Re:In other news...

[Garabito]

600,000 Catholics are in line at the wrong basillica....

Of course they are! Everybody knows this guy [wikipedia.org] is the real pope.

Re:Triumph

[Golias]

Ouch. Sounds like I hit a nerve there. Would you care for a little Benzocaine?

Re:C'mon, it -has- to be said...

[nigham]

A long time to stand in a theatre far, far away...

Re:Triumph

[Golias]

I'm not being an ass, just being nitpicky

Hey, don't sell yourself short. You can be both. :)

Re:Triumph

[FuzzyBad-Mofo]

According to the article, these fans are more interested in standing in line than seeing the movie itself:

"The telling thing is -- for me, at least -- if the film is not playing at the Chinese ... I have zero desire to see it at all," a fan who calls himself Obi Geewhyen posted on the message board at Liningup.net. "I'm in it for the lineup only and don't give a darn about the conclusion of this lackluster, so-called 'Star Wars' series."

Ladies and Gentlemen, we have found the Comic Book Guy!

They're the lucky ones

[kabdib]

Whatever movie they do see on opening day will be better than the movie they got in line for...

Re:In other news...

[skinfitz]

That's 1 million catholics - you don't apply currency exchange rates to numbers in a line.

Re:Star Wars geeks

[lgw]

For example, LARPers and people who play "deep" indie roleplaying games make fun of other roleplayers (especially D&D players),

As a "Deep indie" roleplayer who makes fun of D&Ders, I think you're on to something, but *everyone* makes fun of LARPers (except furries, of course).

Here's a detailed chart [brunching.com] of the Geek Hierarchy, for your reference. ;) It needs a "Real RPGer" -> "D&Der" -> "LARPer" column, however.

Re:Not virgins...

[Anonymous Coward]

Holy spirit my ass, she didn't hear the line that goes "No ding ding before the wedding ring."

Re:"nerd-hags"

[protolith]

I hhave this friend, He um, could really, you know, would like to know more about these "nerd-hags". Where would I, um, He go to meet one.

Re:Not virgins...

[fritz1968]

Hopefully your self-esteem can handle it when she asks you, "aren't you a little short for a stormtrooper?"

Or it could get worse! "she" could make a comment along the lines of:

I see that your schwarz is as big as mine!

oh! wait a minute... wrong movie! Sorry about that. Nothing to see here... move along... move along.

Re:Triumph

[Spankophile]

Ouch. Sounds like I hit a nerve there.

Nope. Sounds like you got fucking pwnxx03rd.

ggnorekkthx.

Re:erm

[mrmag00]

Would these kids be 'cooler' if they were selling cocaine or heroin on the same street instead?

Yes.

It'll still suck.

[Grendel Drago]

You know, I thought the preview looked pretty good too. But I don't trust George Lucas. You don't know the power of his urge to make shitty movies! Hayden Christenson will be a whiny bitch, there's going to be some sort of "American Idol" in-joke, and you're going to be so surprised, and you're going to bring your abused, broken heart here, blubbering your sorrow all over another thousand-comment thread, and you're going to receive the biggest "I told you so" ever fucking constructed.

--grendel drago

They should get the film now

[ebvwfbw]

Would be even more hilarious if they change their mind and open the film now that everyone is out of line...

Re:"nerd-hags"

[yasth]

LARP. That is all. Really don't expect the pages of playboy come to life, but bawdy can be good.

Re:Considering...

[werewolf1031]

[Considering] ...that Luke and Leia are brother and sister, wouldn't playing Luke and Leia would be like...um...you know...

Your parents? :)