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Sci-Fi Media Television

Paramount Says Enterprise Cancellation Is Final 583

Kethinov writes "The Save Enterprise campaigns appear to have been for naught. Paramount has declared that they will not be accepting any amount of money from fans to continue to produce Star Trek Enterprise. With the decision final, Star Trek Enterprise will be the first Star Trek show since the original series not to run a full seven seasons." From the letter: "Paramount Network Television and the producers of Star Trek: Enterprise are very flattered and impressed by the fans' passionate outpouring of attention for the show and their efforts to raise funds to continue the show's production." Commentary also available from TrekToday.
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Paramount Says Enterprise Cancellation Is Final

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  • by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday April 12, 2005 @06:35PM (#12217676)
    There should be plenty of room for all 3 fans in my parent's basement
  • by Skyshadow ( 508 ) * on Tuesday April 12, 2005 @06:35PM (#12217682) Homepage
    Jesus, this is horrible news. Seriously, how could something like this happen?

    I mean, what could the network possibly be thinking? Don't they understand that they're cancelling the most original, innovative and entertaining Sci Fi show of this generation? How can they cancel a show with such a devoted following? How can they turn their backs on well-developed characters with their flaws and nuances? What about the great staging and the inspired writing? How can they ignore such incredible potential?

    What about the tremendous buzz behind the show? What about the devoted legions of fans who are careful to never miss an episode? The ratings on this have to be through the roof -- everyone I know watches it religiously! Christ, I know people who went out and got TiVO just so they could start going out on Friday nights again without chancing setting their cheap VCRs wrong and missing it!

    I mean, I'm upset, I'm angry and most of all I'm just plain astonished. I just can't get my head around this. I mean really, it just doesn't compute. I think the SciFi network ought to be ashamed of themselv...

    (whispering, pause)

    Oh, wait, they cancelled Enterprise?!? Just 100% for sure this time? Pft, well duh! Gee, you really had to be Miss Cleo to see that one coming. All the attention this was getting, I just figured that they must have cancelled Battlestar Galactica! Heh, oh Jesus, don't scare me like that! Heh, my hands are still shaking, man, you freaked me out! Whew...

    C'mon, are you serious? You mean there were actually people willing to pay to see more of this crap? Like, real money? C'mon! An online petition with two signatures I might buy, but *pay*? Riiight....

    Cancelling Enterprise... Yeah, whatever. Tragedy for all three fans of the series, I'm sure. Heh, pft... "Save Enterprise". Yeah, let me get right on that! What will the galaxy do without the heroics of Captain Archer, inspiration to mildly retarded people everywhere? What about all the memorable characters we know and love, like... er.. You know, hick-sounding white guy! Or british-sounding white guy? Or the chick in with the big boobies? (okay, 100% seriously: I will miss those boobies, but then again there's always the internet). LOL, "Save Enterprise". Ooh! We got to save Enterprise! Because, you know, it's, um, like a TV show with spaceships or something. Heh.

    Whew.

    Hey, is it July yet? Man, I couldn't believe that cliffhanger -- I tell ya, I haven't been genuinely surprised by a TV show in ages...

  • by Flounder ( 42112 ) * on Tuesday April 12, 2005 @06:36PM (#12217701)
    One down, reality shows, Friends reruns and 60 Minutes to go.
  • by rob_squared ( 821479 ) <rob@rob-squared . c om> on Tuesday April 12, 2005 @06:37PM (#12217707)
    "But I'll pay!"

    "I'm sorry son, we'll never allow a hooker in this house, and that's final!"

  • OH SNAP (Score:5, Funny)

    by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday April 12, 2005 @06:38PM (#12217729)
    Breaking news: Cancelled show cancelled.
  • by 14erCleaner ( 745600 ) <FourteenerCleaner@yahoo.com> on Tuesday April 12, 2005 @06:39PM (#12217742) Homepage Journal
    ...was all the counter-offers of money from fans if they DID cancel the series.

    Good riddance, if you ask me.

  • by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday April 12, 2005 @06:40PM (#12217749)
    KAHHHHHHHHHHN!!!!
  • Nooooooo (Score:1, Funny)

    by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday April 12, 2005 @06:40PM (#12217762)
    I thought I heard the muffled cry of milions of geeks from their mothers basements. I pop on Slashdot and it's confirmed.
  • by panaceaa ( 205396 ) on Tuesday April 12, 2005 @06:44PM (#12217813) Homepage Journal
    Your parents used to pay for hookers to come to your house?

    No wonder you chose to live in their basement!
  • Re:Rephrase (Score:5, Funny)

    by vivin ( 671928 ) <vivin.paliath@g[ ]l.com ['mai' in gap]> on Tuesday April 12, 2005 @06:44PM (#12217817) Homepage Journal
    "Star Trek Enterprise is yet another Star Trek show since the original series to run a full six seasons."

    Maybe because it's getting cancelled after the fourth season? :)
  • Re:Finally. (Score:3, Funny)

    by rainman_bc ( 735332 ) on Tuesday April 12, 2005 @06:46PM (#12217833)
    Finally it's finally final.

    Netcraft confirms it!

    =D
  • by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday April 12, 2005 @06:51PM (#12217885)
    I can just see it now. Sam Beckett going back in time and saving Scott Bakula from making the worst career move of his life (After Major League 3, that is).
  • Obligatory (Score:5, Funny)

    by SpottedKuh ( 855161 ) on Tuesday April 12, 2005 @06:53PM (#12217900)
    All they need to do is go back in time and kill the Nazis that cancelled the show! ...Oh wait, that's why they're being cancelled...
  • by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday April 12, 2005 @07:00PM (#12217983)
    I'm amazed no one has said it (at least up until the time I started typing this post)!
  • by Johnboi Waltune ( 462501 ) on Tuesday April 12, 2005 @07:08PM (#12218070)
    Paramount Network Television and the producers of Star Trek: Enterprise are very flattered and impressed by the fans' passionate outpouring of attention for the show and their efforts to raise funds to continue the show's production... but please fuck off already, you fucking nerds.
  • by reiggin ( 646111 ) on Tuesday April 12, 2005 @07:11PM (#12218098)
    that could have been a believable story for a /.'er if you hadn't mentioned "wife."
  • by badmammajamma ( 171260 ) on Tuesday April 12, 2005 @07:16PM (#12218142)
    Imho, Enterprise was doomed the moment they cast Scott Bakula. I mean seriously...Scott Bakula?? I watched one episode and it made me so ill I vowed to never watch it again. He simply has ZERO leadership quality about him. Enterprise captains have always been very strong people...until Bakula. My dog is more of a leader than Bakula could ever hope to be.

    Horrible casting will doom any show and that's what happened with Enterprise. Personally, I'm happy to see it go. Maybe there will be a new Star Trek with a real captain again.
  • by lsmeg ( 529105 ) on Tuesday April 12, 2005 @07:16PM (#12218145)
    I think it's more like:

    CAAAAAAAAAAANNED!!!

  • by ozric99 ( 162412 ) on Tuesday April 12, 2005 @07:34PM (#12218307) Journal
    I believe this [khaaan.com] is what you're looking for ;)
  • Re:Obvious (Score:3, Funny)

    by aspx ( 808539 ) on Tuesday April 12, 2005 @08:09PM (#12218641)
    > "Paramount has declared that they will not be
    > accepting *any amount of money* from fans to
    > continue to produce Star Trek Enterprise."
    >
    > This should tell you something important.

    It does. Para mount translated from Spanish is "for sex." They want sex, not money.
  • Good (Score:3, Funny)

    by Mr_Icon ( 124425 ) on Tuesday April 12, 2005 @09:08PM (#12219143) Homepage
    If they said they were leaning towards continuing it, I would have started a help kill Enterprise campaign, and I'm sure I would have easily raised billions.
  • by One Salient Oversigh ( 791476 ) on Tuesday April 12, 2005 @09:16PM (#12219216) Homepage
    Can you imagine a Federation Starship populated by Australians?

    "First streaker in Space maaaaatee!!!"

    "I shower in Romulan Ale!"

    "Sorry, the captain can't communicate with you Mr Romulan commander, he's watching the State of Origin"

    "Spock, what is that person doing in the window of that Australian starship?"
    "It appears that his pants have dropped and his buttocks have been glued to the glass Captain"

    "Captain, the warp core is nearing criticality!"
    "She'll be alright!"

    "Starfleet calling USS Drongo! Starfleet calling USS Drongo! We will be engaging the Borg at Wolf 35..."
    "Bloody radio! Anyway, me and chas were streaking through engineering..."

    (Australian Starfleet officer is confronted with a Klingon weilding a Bat'leth)
    "That's not a knife!"

    "Why are the Klingon guests so angry sir?"
    "They don't like eating Chiko Rolls for lunch - they say they taste terrible!"

    "We Romulans demand that you apologise for invading our space!"
    "Well... let's just say that we express regret..."

    "Attention. This is your captain speaking. We have decided to attack and invade this planet because scans from other ships have revealed that they are armed with weapons of mass intergalactic destruction. Even though our contribution to this invasion goes against Federation law, we must show the galaxy that we can lick arse with the best of them!"

    "Sir! If we fire the photon torpedoes now, we'll destroy the USS New Zealand!!"
    "Good!"

    "Sir, the leader of this planet is a black man who wears a skirt"
    "Geez... you getter ask him to take his shoes off in case he has a bomb in them!"

  • by eddeye ( 85134 ) on Tuesday April 12, 2005 @09:36PM (#12219367)

    In the case of Firefly, I can tell you why...
    Basically, just about everything a network can do to not encourage a following, they did.

    s/Firefly/Action/
    s/Firefly/Family Guy/
    s/Firefly/Greg The Bunny/
    s/Firefly/Undeclared/

    Every season Fox trots out another surprisingly witty show to plug the gap between When Midgets Attack and Close-Up Animals With a Wide-Angle Lens Wearing Hats. Despite critical acclaim, the "filler" shows rarely see a second season and die before their time. Someone at Fox likes taunting us.

  • by ElAurian ( 133656 ) on Wednesday April 13, 2005 @01:21AM (#12220718) Homepage
    If you didn't like Marcus, then you never knew B5 in the first place, so don't go pontificating about it.

    (my first instinct here was to go with: "If you don't like Marcus... then you're a fuckhead!" so I think I may be a fanboy. Oh dear.)

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