Kevin Smith Previews Revenge of the Sith 621
Eugenia writes "Kevin Smith, the well-known actor/director, was invited by George Lucas to a special advanced screening of the upcoming 'Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith' film and he wrote down his take on the movie. There are some serious spoilers in his article but it's interesting to see his reaction, as a director and Star Wars fan."
His biggest problem with the film (Score:2, Funny)
Spoiler (Score:4, Funny)
First Jedi mind trick (Score:3, Funny)
I don't trust him (Score:5, Funny)
Kevin says..over and over (Score:4, Funny)
I hope it aint so dark as not to see its flaws!
*ducks*
Re:I don't trust him (Score:4, Funny)
Here you go (Score:4, Funny)
You've been warned...
- "Revenge of the Sith" is, quite simply, fucking awesome.
[Spoilers removed]
"Sith" doesn't happen; "Sith" rules.
Slashdotting Clerks-style (Score:5, Funny)
Re:READ IT!!! (Score:3, Funny)
Re:I don't trust him (Score:3, Funny)
Seriously though, even if RotS is every bit as dark and well-written (and freakin' well-acted please!) as one could hope, am I the only one who is beyond giving a damn?
Looking at the last 2 from Lucas, it would be like having a 3-course meal where the final dish was fantastic but the first 2 gave you projectile-vomiting food poisoning. No real way to salvage the meal.
If I do see it, it'll be the DVD rental. A $5 rental for the entire family is all I'm willing to risk.
Re:Spoiler that eases the mind... (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Spoiler (Score:3, Funny)
Re:I don't trust him (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Spoiler Free summary? (Score:5, Funny)
Somebody should turn up the gamma, then.
Re:Spoiler (Score:4, Funny)
Re:Spoiler (Score:5, Funny)
I AM INVINCIBLE! (Score:5, Funny)
Anakin: None shall pass.
Obi Wan: What?
Anakin: None shall pass.
Obi Wan: I have no quarrel with you, young padiwan, but I must cross this bridge.
Anakin: Then you shall die.
Obi Wan: I command you as your teacher to stand aside!
Anakin: I move for no man.
Obi Wan: So be it!
Obi Wan cuts off Anakin's left arm.
Obi Wan: Now stand aside, worthy adversary.
Anakin: 'Tis but a scratch.
Obi Wan: A scratch? Your arm's off!
Anakin: No, it isn't.
Obi Wan: Well, what's that then?
Anakin: I've had worse.
Obi Wan: You liar!
Anakin: Come on you pansy!
Obi Wan cuts off Anakin's right arm.
Obi Wan: Victory is mine! We thank thee Force, that in thy mercy...
Anakin: Come on then.
Obi Wan: What?
Anakin: Have at you!
Obi Wan: You are indeed brave, Sir Knight, but the fight is mine.
Anakin: Oh, had enough, eh?
Obi Wan: Look, you stupid bastard, you've got no arms left.
Anakin: Yes I have.
Obi Wan: Look!
Anakin: Just a flesh wound.
Obi Wan: Look, stop that.
Anakin: Chicken! Chicken!
Obi Wan: Look, I'll have your leg. Right!
Obi Wan cuts off Anakin's leg.
Anakin: Right, I'll do you for that!
Obi Wan: You'll what?
Anakin: Come 'ere!
Obi Wan: What are you going to do, bleed on me?
Anakin: I'm invincible!
Obi Wan: You're a loony.
Anakin: The Dark Side always triumphs! Have at you! Come on then.
Obi Wan cuts off Anakin's other leg.
Anakin: All right; we'll call it a draw.
Obi Wan: Come, Patsy.
Anakin: Oh, oh, I see, running away then. You yellow bastard! Come back here and take what's coming to you. I'll bite your legs off!
Re:I don't trust him (Score:4, Funny)
Re:Spoiler - Han Shoots First explained. (Score:1, Funny)
Re:The Baby might have to wait! (Score:4, Funny)
(mind you, the green skin coloring, pointy ears and dimunitive side will be rather permanent unlike most infants he shall not grow much taller)
The biggest surprise... (Score:5, Funny)
Tribute to Kevin... (Score:2, Funny)
Re:The Baby might have to wait! (Score:3, Funny)
Your wife is due? Is the a pre-arranged marriage or something? Arranged WAY in advance!
Oh, you mean your baby is due...
never mind...
Nnnnnnnneeeeeeeeerrrrrrrdddssss!!!!!! (Score:3, Funny)
Re:I don't trust him (Score:5, Funny)
Expect a total letdown.
Jar Jar? Check.
Hayden Cristensen? Check.
Cartoon Yoda? Check.
Yup, it's gonna suck. I pity tha fools.
Re:The Baby might have to wait! (Score:2, Funny)
An alternative review (Score:4, Funny)
My evaluation? The movie excellent, the post-parody so so, I have better dialogs as Silent Bob.
-Kevin Smith
boycotting (Score:4, Funny)
If one day my curiosity gets the better of me, I'm sure someone I know will have it on DVD.
I'll have to be pretty drunk though. It's hard to watch Lucas continually bludgeon the already-dead body of my childhood fantasies. Episode 1 had way too much CG, and Episode 2 was like watching a warthog romancing a peacock.
Re:hate of eps I and II was quite genuine (Score:5, Funny)
Remember, that was before the introduction of Admiral Akbar.
Re:Are they really spoilers? (Score:4, Funny)
Re:Didn't we see this already (Score:1, Funny)
A little Jedi humor (Score:5, Funny)
On a bright sunny day on Mustafar, Obi-Wan Kenobi was taking a pleasant stroll around the lava river. He spots an armless and legless Anakin Skywalker and, moved with pity, he asks young Skywalker if there's anything he can do for him. Skywalker replies, 'well, I've never been hugged before'. In response, Kenobi gives Anakin a big ol' bear hug and satisfied with his good deed, continues on his pleasant stroll around the river. He come back around to the place where Anakin lay and decided to ask him if there was anything else he needed. To this, Anakin replies, 'well, I've never been kissed before'. Kenobi thinks for second, and though a little hesitant, gives Anakin a peck on the forehead. He leaves again, satisfied. He comes back around a third time and again, asks Anakin if there's anything he wants. Anakin says "well, I've never been fucked before!" and so Kenobi picks him up, throws him in the lava river and shouts 'now you're fucked!'
Re:First Jedi mind trick (Score:5, Funny)
Slightly off topic, but I know people reading this thread would be the only ones to understand. I swear I actually had somebody try a Jedi Mind Trick on me in real life. I had a guy come into my liquor store and when I asked for ID, he said in a perfect dismissive way, "You don't need to see an ID. You can just take this money for the beer." It was so close to Obi-Wan in Mos Eisley that I couldn't help laughing. Unfortunately for him though, it didn't work.
Re:It's R2D2's story isn't it? (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Spoiler Free summary? (Score:5, Funny)
Sounds like instead of going into the theater, Kevin Smith accidentally wandered into a broom closet with a burnt-out light bulb and hung out eating a big tub of popcorn for two hours.
Re:Spoiler - Han Shoots First explained. (Score:1, Funny)
Umm, I hate to break this to you (as I'm sure you'd find out once you hit puberty), but your parents lied to you - you don't get pregnant through kissing.
Re:READ IT!!! (Score:5, Funny)
A long time ago, in an incestuous galaxy (Score:5, Funny)
I especially like when Luke tells her and she says she always knew.
Yeah? Even when you were frenching him!? You sick weirdo!
Calibrate the reviewer (Score:3, Funny)
Re:I don't trust him (Score:4, Funny)
He got the idea from the Enterprise run.
Re:It's R2D2's story isn't it? (Score:1, Funny)
Re:Spoiler that eases the mind... (Score:2, Funny)
LK
No he doesn't... (Score:3, Funny)
Re:READ IT!!! (Score:5, Funny)
i mean, god, why did it have to have the same characters and plot and from the other movies, i saw The Two Towers, like, a whole YEAR before it came out, why did i have to remember every single little detail, like, who the short guy was, or why that ring was important, or who the long haired scruffy guy was? that's retarded!!!!
Re:Spoilers? (Score:1, Funny)
Thanks alot.
Major Spoiler Alert! (Score:4, Funny)
Anakin becomes Darth Vader!
Leia and Luke are twin babies of Anakin and are snuck away to separate locations far far from home.
Anakin falls into a volcano - but lives - barely.
And Yoda gets arthritis.
Ok, I made that last one up