10 Computer Mishaps 898
Ant writes "ZDNet UK posted Ontrack Data Recovery's 2004 list of the 10 strangest and funniest computer mishaps... Some of them are funny!" My best mishap was installing the alpha video driver on an NT 3.51 box thinking that it was just an alpha driver. Of course since this Alpha meant DEC and this was an x86 box, the server barfed pretty hard. Also the time I spilled an 8oz glass of water on my laptop and lost all my email from 1994 to 1999 and my backup was corrupted. That I liked too.
My ones (Score:5, Funny)
My personal ones:
A friend in the office had to install identical 2 machines with linux. Step 1: Install linux on one machine. Step 2: Install the hard drive from other machine into the computer. Step 3: 'dd' one disk over to the other one. Step 4: Scream as you did it the wrong way round and overwrote your newly installed disk with blank disk garbage.
On a server I needed to remotely manually replace libc with an older version file from another machine. Ofcause you have to remember to do everything in a single command otherwise if you delete the old version you cannot run anything else. (I am sure there must be a simpler solution to that than take the disk out and do it on another machine)
Leaving a computer under the desk but pushing it back as far as it would go so the back board of the desks fully covered the fan hole. It got very hot after a day and then burned out the cpu and powersupply in one go.
Inserting a K6-3 into an older board which I didnt want to replace. The board had jumpers with markings for the CPU voltages 3.1, 3.0, 2.9, 2.8, 2.7 and followed by 2 unlabelled jumpers. The chip wanted 2.6v core supply (I cant remember the details) so foolishly I assumed the other two jumpers were the lower voltages for which there were no processors at that time. I was wrong and a puff of smoke appeared as my lovely new 450MHz executed its first and only operation.
Checking if the IDE cable worked itself loose without moving the computer from its place and leaving it turned on. So I am reaching round the side and blindly feeling around for the cable and I suddenly feel something like an electric shock (which turned out just be accidentally touching the cpu fan blades). I very quickly remove my hand snagging it on one of the many sharp pieces of metal sticking out of old cases. It was quite cool to be able to see my muscles moving around as a huge piece of skin flopped open exposing the tendons in my hands.
Toilet Trauma (Score:5, Funny)
It must have had problems dumping his log file. It was probably stuck in the backside cache...
Remember when... (Score:5, Funny)
Format disk before use (Score:5, Funny)
Beer (Score:5, Funny)
Marge: You know Homer, the "E" doesn't work on that typewriter
Homer: We don't need no stinkin' "E"! Ok, "Food Box: Go or No Go" by Homer..no, Earl..no, Bill Simpson!
my mishap (Score:5, Funny)
Delete from Users; where ID=1;
Taco, Taco... (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Toilet Trauma (Score:5, Funny)
Re:My ones (Score:5, Funny)
Yes, yes I do (Score:5, Funny)
My best... (Score:5, Funny)
One day, frantic call from my friend: "can you come with me to $AIRPORT, $AIRLINE's mac is down (I was the Mac expert then). Seems that $AIRLINE is running it's whole fleet management software on ONE computer.
We get there, and the VICE-PRESIDENT OF FINANCE is waiting for us at the receptionist desk. He hands my friend a $50,000 cheque!!! We go look at the macintosh, and I cannot do anything, the hard-disk is totally molten...
We get out of the airport and rush to the bank to have the cheque certified.
The next day, $AIRLINE filed for bankrupcy...
Installing a modem at age 12 (Score:5, Funny)
I had no idea what I was doing so I called up the Hayes support line. I told the support guy I wanted to install my new modem but needed help.
He asked me if I had my computer's case off, to which I replied yes. He then told me to go ahead and plug the modem into one of the free slots.
Zap! OUCH! Poof!
He neglected to tell me to turn off the computer.
Hey, I was 12... leave me alone.
For those of you who are worried, some how, both the computer and the modem survived and I eventually got it installed and working.
Well this one takes the cake. (Score:4, Funny)
I was cleaning roster shat out of my keyboard for the next 2 weeks. Smelled good as well. At least it was not in my beer I guess.
Oh ho ho! (Score:4, Funny)
#1 computer mishap... (Score:4, Funny)
Re:Dull dull dull (Score:5, Funny)
I don't know. My dad had bowel cancer and had to have half of his colon removed (He's 100% recovered, btw!). We always say that he has a semicolon now, and that they did a really half-arsed job of the operation.
Those jokes never get old.
Smashed hard drive (Score:4, Funny)
It was a dying drive, didn't need it anymore. So we had fun! The platters made a nice spiral in the air after I broke the spindle off...
Re:My ones (Score:3, Funny)
This should be a college entrance requirement.
Watercooling 'Mishap' (Score:5, Funny)
After he pulled the pipe out of the pump I distinctly remember 'hearing' the sound of water hitting a fan followed by 'seeing' that the pump was pushing water upwards-straight into my graphics card fan which was very effectively 'flicking' water over the rest of the PC.
PCs are hard to break, and after 2 days drying out it worked fine.
NB: this happened three times and after the third time and the purchase of my x800 xt I moved back to fans
Where there's smoke... (Score:5, Funny)
Rather than try to diagnose the problem at her desk we usually just replaced the drive and checked it out back at the lab. We removed the existing drive and plugged in the replacement. Because the floppy mounting was rather tedious we didn't completely mount it until we were sure it worked so my buddy held on to it while I powered up the machine.
Now what I haven't mentioned was that the power plugs in this particular brand of PC did not have a "notch" on them like modern PCs and we weren't paying attention to it so when we plugged in the drive we put the power plug on backwards.
When we powered up the machine smoke began pouring out of the floppy drive as my friend began screaming, "Turn it off, turn it off!".
When we realized our mistake we got a new drive and installed it correctly. When we left, the secretary (already cautious of computers) was now almost terrified by the PC on her desk.
Integrated cup holder failure. (Score:1, Funny)
Re:My ones (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Well this one takes the cake. (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Well this one takes the cake. (Score:3, Funny)
The day I learn ice cream and laser writers.... (Score:3, Funny)
I was working on my science fair project on that system (best darn looking presentation seen at a science fair in those days) while licking away at a vanilla ice cream cone I had (flat bottom cone). I set my cone down on the top of the printer and got distracted (when outside to play some bball I think).
I came back 2 hours later to find the ice cream cone had collapsed and done a noise dive into the paper feed area.
My parents well...
Re:My ones (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Toilet Trauma (Score:5, Funny)
My mishap (Score:2, Funny)
What I _meant_ to do was to delete everything in the folder I was in. Pretty sure of myself added an -f flag so that i wouldn't have to answer yes to a bunch of questions. So then.. ready to delete I did a quick rm -Rf .
I know I didn't have to have the last slash, but what i tried to write was "./". See what a small space can do? It didn't take too long before i figured out what I had done, seeing that it suddenly took several seconds. I did a quick Ctrl+C, but it was already to late. It had wiped out almost my entire
Long story short: Think twice before you flag f boys and girls!
When F%#@k was heard around the world... (Score:5, Funny)
A few years back when I was into doing computer mods, I had recently put together what I though was a pretty great rig, a BP6 with dullie 433mhz overclocked to 500mhz each, with dual golden orbs, 16mb voodoo card, etc... so this was done awhile ago...
Anyway after finishing my master piece, I notice it was housed in a beige box. This simple would not do! So I spend a lot of time designing a custom case design. It involved special glossy paint, three sepreate masking jobs to have overlaying geometric inverse colors (Silver and Black mostly), and fitting my computer handle (that I have used for the last, oh 15 years or so) into the design also inversing the lettering as it crossed geometric boundries (only one). It also took several coats. Anyway very complex and well thought out (or so I thought).
I was all proud of my rig, and when one of buddies came over I made sure to show it off.
His ONLY comment was 'Who is "DartVain"'?
Re:Watercooling 'Mishap' (Score:4, Funny)
Maybe you should have just stopped inviting that guy over?
Re:Arguments becoming options (Score:3, Funny)
Is the answer, one... not running Microsoft Windows?
Bye karma... it was nice to know you.
My favorite mishap (Score:3, Funny)
I do not know if this is actually a mishap or not, but it is one of my favorite stories. Sometime about 10 years or so ago, during high school, a friend of mine was building a computer. I do not actually recall if it was for himself or not, but I believe it was a 486 25 or 33 mhz or so.
He just couldn't get it to work at all, and asked if I could stop by and help him out. When I got there, the machine would power up, and the power supply fan was spinning just fine.
I recall I started with easy things like reseating the memory, reseating ISA cards... When none of that worked, I disassembled the whole thing and put it back together. Same symptoms as before. He tried similar things, same problems.
I was sitting staring at the machine... And I saw the problem. I told him I knew exactly what was wrong, but I told him I shouldn't tell him, and I should let him find it himself.
I did end up telling him... The power supply voltage was set to 220 instead of 110...
Re:#1 Works! (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Dull dull dull (Score:4, Funny)
My Best Computer Mishaps (Score:5, Funny)
Again, tech support. Salesman's laptop comes in won't boot. Reason: buggy porno screen saver. We remind scared, contrite salesman "not to install unapproved software on company machines."
Worked in a power plant for a few years. Tape drive caught on fire from being caked with coal dust. While it was still flaming, I grabbed the drive by the parallel cable and whipped it into the middle of the parking lot where it could burn without catching anything else on fire.
Also in the power plant. Guy calls in to say his monitor is "rainbowy". Turns out the CPU underneath the monitor is filled with coal dust which clogged all the fans. The CPU was burning hot and was cooking the monitor. I literally burned my hand on the CPU case.
We had a support contract with HP, who was charging us upwards of 100 dollars for replacement network cards (this was years ago, but was still excessive.) We were testing some machines with 3Com cards we got at Best Buy, even though if HP found out, they wouldn't support those machines. One day, the ENTIRE network goes down. Nothing will bring it back up, until someone happens to yank the power strip connected to the new machine with a 3Com network card in it. The network IMMEDIATELY comes back up. I don't know why a 3Com network card would bring down an entire network, but it DID.
This isn't a mishap, at least not for me. I was initially hired to be an operator on the company's HP-3000. Within about a week, I had written automated scripts to literally do 90% of my job. The rest of the time I just looked at web pages and slept. I figured out that I could lie down by my desk with a screwdriver and sleep on the floor by my CPU. If anyone came by, I just started removing screws from my CPU case like I was working on it. I was behind two locked doors, so I had plenty of time to react when I heard the door latch. I loved that job. The computer mishap here was that they were paying me.
Re:Arguments becoming options (Score:3, Funny)
A coworker of mine did a similar thing on a production machine with rpmbuild. This was about 9 or ten years ago, but I think the command they used was something like this:
rpmbuild -bb --build-root / specfileDon't ever use the --build-root switch unless you really know what you are doing. The build-root directory is a temporary directory where the package will be built and installed before it is packaged up into an RPM. The first thing RPM does is to clear the build-root directory to make sure there are no files there that will interfere with the build process. Yes you guessed it, it does an rm -rf , or in this case rm-rf /.
Luckily there were backups of the data, but it still took them most of the night to get the system back up and running :)
(This was orginally posted here [slashdot.org] but it seems to fit here as well)
A coworker injured his penis. (Score:5, Funny)
For some reason he thought he could repair it, and so he proceeded to open the hard drive up. None of us were there to witness it directly, but somehow he managed to get the very strong magnets close to his penis. They stuck together, crushing a portion of of the bottom of his manhood.
So he rushed in, blood all over and crying, and we were dumbfounded. We got him to the hospital, and then we couldn't help but have a good laugh over his folly. He returned for about a week or so after he recovered, but left soon after that.
Re:Watercooling 'Mishap' (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Format disk before use (Score:4, Funny)
Re:Yes, yes I do (Score:5, Funny)
Yes. I believe they call them "editors".
Re:My ones (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Toilet Trauma (Score:3, Funny)
Re:My ones (Score:1, Funny)
A VAX cockup of epic proportions (Score:5, Funny)
However, this is a very interesting cockup, and the author wrote the story well:
Re:My ones (Score:3, Funny)
Be thee warned, if your bedroom window is open and it's raining out, you better be checking your jumper is on right
Re:Installing a modem at age 12 (Score:3, Funny)
Just what is it about theses that inspires people to never back them up? The Murphy Field around those things must be tremendous!
Fortunately, for me, my father had backup of his thesis in floppy disks ...
Wow. He must be the only one to ever do that. I'm impressed.
Network down with a hair dryer. Format live OS (Score:2, Funny)
1%...2%...3%...4%...5%... OH MY GOD!!!!!!11!!!!
I slapped the reset button and amazingly, nothing bad came from it. It booted and came up just fine!
Another one, I was a net admin and I had an apartment-size fridge in my office. I got the idea to defrost the fridge using a hair dryer, since a block of ice had formed inside it. A few minutes into this, the hair dryer overloads the circuit and I flip a breaker. The breaker on which the ENTIRE SERVER ROOM was running. I sprinted around looking for it, and I found it... 45 seconds after the UPS'es drained.
Re:Toilet Trauma (Score:4, Funny)
Long story short- don't do this with your gf's jeep, with no doors and with only a lap belt with no shoulder harness. I left an expensive (at the time) monitor in pieces in the middle of an intersection after a particularly quick turn.
True and it wasn't just Quantum (Score:5, Funny)
The day I killed TWO pcs... (Score:3, Funny)
OK, this was very late (2:0am) and I was EXTREMELY tired - DON'T mess inside pcs at 2:00am, especially when tired...
I decided to install my shiny new Zalman Super flower cooler [quietpc.com] into the kids computer as it was in the living room and quite loud. I had to remove the memory to install the cooler, which I did without a problem. When I was re-installing the memory, I noticed that the cooler fins were fouling one of the memory sticks, in fact I had to kinda bend some of the fins out the way to get the memory in. Somehow, the fact that the memory was touching the cooler fins didn't register as being significant...
I turned on, and BANG!
OMG! I realised what a VERY stupid thing I had just done...
What did I do next?
well, I had to determine what parts had blown...
Memory? CPU? Mobo? so of course, I decided to test the easiest thing first, so....
I took the memory stick out that had been touching the fins..... and installed it into my primary computer!!! (All rational thought had obviosuly looong gone!)
I turned on my main machine - nothing. OK, I thought, that memory is bad. I'll put the original memory back in my primary machine...
Turned on, NOTHING!
At this point, the full horror of what VERY VERY VERY stupid things I had just done hit me. I looked closely at the memory I blew up, and there was an actual hole burned in it and several melted tracks...
I ended up replaced two motherboards, two cpus and 4 memory sticks - I just didn't know what parts were safe and didn't want to risk blowing anything else up. I know that I definetley killed the CPU, memory and mobo on the first computer, as each had melty-burney bits on them - in fact, there was quite an impressive hole in the cpu!
The zalman ended up in the trash too...
Upside was I got two much faster systems. It was a very expensive mistake.
Re:blood will short your circuits, too (Score:3, Funny)
Well, I had the computer and the amp plugged into the same outlet. Turns out there was some type of a short and I was completing the circuit between the guitar and the case, which is why I couldn't feel anything when I wasn't using the guitar. The more I moved around, the more the cable pulled on the outlet and the worse it got until it zapped me.
Lesson learned, I guess...feel the tingle and stay clear.
Re:Beer + Keyboard (Score:5, Funny)
ps. a roommate of mine (long time ago) used to p in the sink cos the John was way down the corridor, and one night, took a wrong turn and p'd in the back of the telly instead... woke him up...
Re:True and it wasn't just Quantum (Score:5, Funny)
I think we can close the thread now, as that's the funniest thing we're going to see on Slashdot today.
Move along, nothing else to see here...
Burning hardware (Score:5, Funny)
At another job, I had spent a couple of weeks installing fiber optic routers and cabling to all of my servers. Turned it all on, configured the networking, and was congradulated by my boss for a job well done. Less than 24 hours later, I was showing the higher ups the new hardware when we heard a cracking noise and smoke came rolling out of the cabinet with the routers in it. After putting out the fire we found that an old IBM mainframe (Model 3033) we were going to remove soon was to blame. The bottom of the coolant reservoir had rusted out and dumped a few hundred gallons of water under our computer room floor. The water pooled under the router cabinet and shorted out the socket that the cabinet PDU was plugged into. We later found out that the spot that the cabinet was placed over was originally going to have a drain there that was omitted during construction. That was a quick $100,000 down the drain (pardon the pun).
Re:My ones (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Toilet Trauma (Score:5, Funny)
It started out mild, using the common phrase "taking a dump of the database." Of course, I found this funny, but it escalated.
I'd come into work and have my boss ask, "Would you take a dump this morning before you get started on
The end-all comment was in a meeting when we were told, "Managment wanted me to let you all know that we're not taking enough dumps. Every day, each of us needs to be sure to take at least one dump..."
I still wonder if anyone else found it as funny as I did.
Computer Screw Ups (Score:3, Funny)
I loved the hell out of that machine, even wrote some very nice system utilities using the CLI. But over the years the system went from async terminals to everything over TCP/IP using the Pacer terminal emulator on a Mac.
But there still were a few async connections to things like DG printers, etc. Of course over the years nobody bothered to remove out of service cables or wires so the back of the machine was a literal copper rats nest.
One day I decide I'm going to clean the mess up. As I'm pulling old wire out I suddenly hear the console beeping. Beeping on those consoles wasn't generally a good thing. I look around the corner at the screen and see "volume hansel dismounted" followed by every other system volume. Uh oh!
I go around front to the SCSI array and see the power is off. Toggle the switch, nothing. Around to the back and the breaker isn't tripped. Power cord is plugged in, etc.
Now the boss comes flying into the computer room. You can tell he's upset by the giant red knot that appears in his forehead whenever he's stressed or angry.
Turns out the power was connected via a twist-lock Hubbel connector. Somehow I had backed it off a half twist which was enough to break current to the device.
Once I got power back on I just re-mounted all the volumes. Of course the outage had tanked a couple of jobs running so I caught flak for that.
Re:True and it wasn't just Quantum (Score:4, Funny)
Oh, gee, thanks for that visual. Now I'm gonna have it stuck in my head the rest of the day.
Isn't orking cows illegal in most states?
Re:#1 Works! (Score:4, Funny)
How can I delete my account?
You can't. The system needs to keep track of the users, so accounts are permanent. Don't sweat leaving unused accounts hanging around. It doesn't hurt anything.
Answered by: CmdrTaco Last Modified: 6/13/00
My Biggest Booboo (Score:3, Funny)
It's the first morning of the pilot-to-production phase, and we're all sitting in the datacentre at our terminals, bringing the whole system online for the first time. I'm personally familiar with PC-based terminal emulators, not the fancy X-Windows stations that the client has on their premises. So, once we get everything finally up and running (and it's taken us about 2 1/2 years to get here from concept stage), I start exploring the settings on my X-Windows station. (Anybody remember CDE, and how... bizzare it is to configure, contrasted with KDE or Gnome?)
I'm fiddling around with settings, trying to create application shortcuts to fire up sessions with servers just the way I like, when at one point I get the message that a reboot is required for changes to take effect.
I issued the standard "sync; sync; shutdown -r now" command -- and just after I hit I realized that I had been typing into an xterm session ON ONE OF THE BACK-END SERVERS -- not the local X-station!
Well. The backend server goes down, and when the event-collector picks up the unavailability, it starts up alarms and red flashing lights (I kid you not), and also starts paging people (including myself, ironically).
I'm stunned, and terrified, for I've just brought down a system that had been operational for only 3 hours after being in development for 2 1/2 years.
We eventually get the server back up and running, and afterwards, the ProjMgr (from the prime vendor) drifts over to me and quietly mentions that I had a strange expression on my face earlier that day. We look at each other, and then he says it "must've been a s/w fault somewhere" before wandering off knowingly. (Whew!....)
Moral of the story #1: NEVER work in root/superuser accounts when you don't absolutely need to.
Moral #2: Use color-coded xterms to indicate which systems & what access-levels you are working with!
Re:#1 Works! (Score:1, Funny)
2 screwups I'm not proud of.. (Score:2, Funny)
I had a nice home built computer that I used for gaming and internet access. I was upgrading the network card and was having issues with getting the card identified properly. So after some poking around, I realized that my BIOS was a few revisions out of date. Manufacturers website had a current BIOS rev that purported to fix the problem I was having, so I proceeded to flash my computer with the latest version.
After about halfway through, I saw a message that said something like "Error in checksum, press Y to reboot or N to Exit".
Then I had a neuron misfire or something, because I thought "N" and pressed "Y" instead.
Doh!
So I found out then that a computer with a corrupted BIOS will not boot or even turn on. I searched for someone at work or online that could re-flash my bios, and ended up ordering a new chip from somewhere in Texas. After waiting a few days for the delivery, the lack of internet access at home was driving me nuts so I broke down and bought a new MB/RAM/CPU and got things up and running that day.
Next
First week on the job, a computer in the R&D area was having issues with performance I had fixed the problem and decided to do some cleanup as well. Deleted the temp files, removed some unnecessary programs, had a look in the User Profiles tab and saw there were a whole bunch of user profiles there that said "account unknown". Must be from users who have logged on to the computer in the past and have since left the company. So I started deleting them all (hmm, seem to be a lot of them) and noticed as the list scrolled down that the last profile was "Local Computer\Administrator".
Oops, seems I had unplugged the network cable and was off the domain, so the User Profiles window could not resolve the names. And of course deleting the profiles this way means no recovery from the recycle bin. Had to apologize profusely to the guy for deleting his profile, but it did make me more paranoid about deleting files.
Giving a New Meaning to "Ops Puke" (Score:5, Funny)
Twenty-or-so years ago, I was a young airman maintaining the Transportable Ground Intercept Facility-II (TGIF-II) at Metro Tango, a site located about 10 klicks north of the former Hahn Air Base (now Frankfurt-Hahn International Airport) in Germany. TGIF-II was used by Air Force and Army intelligence operators to intercept communications from the former Soviet Union and Warsaw Pact. The operators sat at "collection positions," computer keyboards used to "gist" (transcribe in shorthand) the transmissions they listened to through their headsets.
One morning, as the operators entered the facility and began their pre-mission checks, an Army E-4 sat down at Position 11, close to our places at the maintenance terminal. He didn't look well, and sure enough, within a few minutes he promptly barfed his breakfast onto the keyboard in front of him.
He apologized and we said hey, no problem, get yourself to sick call dude and we'll clean up the mess. Thanks to mil-spec, the WWW III-grade circuit board under the keypad only required a quick rinse in the sink and a few hours to air-dry before it was reinstalled and the position checked good.
One of our civilian contractors was ex-Army, and when we told him the story, he got pissed and said "That guy did it on purpose - he's trying to get kicked out." We looked at the contractor in disbelief. Why the hell would anyone do something like that? But we were Air Force guys and had no clue to what lengths some people will go to escape the Army.
The next day and another mission, the operators filed into the facility and took their places to begin their pre-mission equipment checks. The same guy sat down at Position 11, looked at the terminal for a minute, and blew chunks into the keyboard. The kicker was the little grin on his face after he deposited his stomach contents into the keyboard.
The guy apologized again (still with the grin on his face) and excused himself from the facility. We disassembled the keyboard, washed, rinsed, dried and re-installed. To his credit, they guy didn't eat much either morning.
We don't see the operator for several days, but within a week he returns, sits down at Position 11, and within three minutes regurgitates on the keyboard. This time, we tell him to get the hell out and then we call his duty section. We explain what's happened and tell them since they keep sending the guy back to work, it's THEIR turn to clean the abused circuit board. They send a warrant officer (I guess he was the only technician-type the Army had) to whom we hand over the circuit board.
The next time I see the E-4, he's on the site's Goon Squad, folks assigned to jobs outside the compound while they await administrative or disciplinary action. He's driving the military-issue Volkswagen 9-passenger van used to shuttle workers between the site and an overflow parking lot a quarter mile down the road. It's winter, there's snow on the roads, and my boss, an Air Force master sergeant, and I are on our way to the main base to run errands on our lunch hour. The E-4 slams the van into gear, hits the gas, and power-slides down the small two-lane road, fishtailing back and forth as my boss yells at him to stop. I'm sitting in the back seat and in the rear view mirror I can see that little grin on the E-4's face.
Looks like our contractor was right after all. . .
My first laptop on fire (Score:2, Funny)
It was clear that there was simply a broken contact that needed resoldering - no problem. I did the job, turned it on (still open) and after a few seconds ozone was detected, followed by what looked exactly like a lighter flame. New Year's Eve, 1999. $3200 down the drain. I almost cried, but it was really funny to everyone else in the room that witnessed it.
Turned out that I used the wrong kind of flux, which specifically stated on the bottle that it wasn't to be used for electronics, because it eats the board.
Sqeaky disk drive (Score:3, Funny)
Ahh, the memories.
Re:My ones (Score:2, Funny)
Also nice:
Setting up iptables-rules:
Those were funny? (Score:5, Funny)
Here's a much better story: my inlaws called in yet another computer-induced panic. Sis was crying, mom locked herself in the bedroom, and dad was in a frenzy yelling at us about his computer and wanting us to come fix it (a four hour drive). The problem was that the computer would not print and the home phone stopped working. We politely told him that we weren't going to travel 8 hours to fix his printer, and he really needed to call the phone company about his phone line.
2 days later the phone guy showed up and unplugged the printer's USB cable from the phone jack.
No fury like a woman's wrath (Score:3, Funny)
I had lent out a computer to a girlfriend. (this was back in the days when the cheapest computer was still around $1,500.) Well, the relationship came to a sour end and we exchanged back all of our stuff. I had a rather expensive leather jacket of hers, so I went to her place and we traded back (a rather unpleasant visit).
At this point in my life, I was fairly desparate for cash & had needed to sell this computer. I plugged the machine back in only to find... tada... she and one of her girlfriends (who was an admin or something) had decided it would be great revenge to set the BIOS password so that it was required to boot the PC! Wow... wasn't expecting that!
This chick is no match for my superior computing skills, I decide! I will not give her the satisfaction of asking for the password. Some research tells me that I can remove the motherboard battery and reset the BIOS to its default. This I do, but no luck. I leave that frickin' battery out for an entire week! I hear tell of reset jumper switches. No joy. I even called the motherboard manufacturer. No help. In desparation, I began trying every possible BIOS password combination of "dickhead" and "jackass" I could imagine (because you know that is what it will be).
Finally, after about 3 weeks, I was getting desperate. I really needed the money & had to sell the PC. It was looking grim. So, with great reluctance and my tail between my legs, I called the old girlfriend. Luckily, she gave me the password without much fuss. She spelled it out for me: A S s h o l e 5 7 9.
I can only laugh about it now, after many years.
Re:#1 Works! (Score:2, Funny)
actually that explains a lot. Hey computer girl is that you?
Re:My ones (Score:4, Funny)
Turns out her case was one of those that has the floppy sized hole and the actual drive goes on the inside... except that her computer had no drive, so she would put the disks in and they fell into the case. I found 19 disks inside of it.
I was rather hard for my and my brother to keep a straight face until we were done fixing it (taking the disks out, selling and installing a floppy drive) and she was out of the store..
Re:#1 Works! (Score:5, Funny)
Sell it on ebay
Re:True and it wasn't just Quantum (Score:3, Funny)
I saw more than a few of them when I worked at Gateway 2000....
Thanks for undoing all the therapy you insensitive clod!!!
Re:Oh ho ho! (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Arguments becoming options (Score:2, Funny)
Except they always ask me about things first, so the book still isn't perfect.
I don't need no stinkin' book. I learned UNIX the old-fashioned way; by having to restore from backup when I got things wrong.
Re:Watercooling 'Mishap' (Score:3, Funny)
Re:My Best Computer Mishaps (Score:3, Funny)
I was doing an inventory job (and hey, I was 17 making $20/hr. -- I was happy) which involved reading serial numbers off the backs of a lot of computers.
We got into some manager's office, and saw a SPARCstation on his desk, with a monitor on top. At first I tried just turning the case a little with the monitor still up there, but it wouldn't budge. We moved the monitor, and the case still wouldn't move!
That's when I noticed the coke can next to it. The top was sealed, but a quick squeeze revealed it was completely empty. What's more, the empty coke can wasn't coming off the desk either!
Appearantly, the coke had leaked out the bottom (probably through some intentionally created hole) and leaked under the SPARCStation, mixing with whatever veneer was on the desk to create some sort of superadhesive. The SPARCStation, of course, is perfectly flat on the bottom, with no LRF at all, meaning there was a massive contact area. I ended up leaning over the thing and reading the serial numbers upside-down, 'cause there was no way in hell that case was gonna move without the desk coming with it!
p0rn (Score:2, Funny)
So this one time I was looking at porn, then next thing I know there are pop-ups everywhere. I spend all day trying to eradicate the spyware, finally give up and re-install the system which takes another half a day.
So, a couple months later...
I'm looking at porn, the next thing I know there are pop-ups everywhere. It only takes a couple hours to determine the spyware can't be removed, so I re-install the system, which takes half a day.
So, a couple months later...
I'm looking at porn
So, a couple months later...
Finally, I try FireFox. Ahh, I love FireFox.
Re:My ones (Score:3, Funny)
My most memorable (other than the few cuts, scrapes and bruises) was when a computer pissed me off so I stomped on it. The case being so thick (steel I think) it wouldn't budge. So I, wearing my steel toes, hoofed it across the room. I think I broke or atleast dislocated three toes doing that. What did the computer have to show for it? A small black mark about the size of a quarter.
My favorite work related mishap... (Score:2, Funny)
Then he went on to explain how the new Halo gas system would suppress fires in the computer lab, when the lead network administrator suddenly bolts into the room moving quickly towards the administrative workstation exclaiming, "The fileserver just blew up bigtime!"
Whereupon our guide quickly glances back at the workstation where he has just finished his little file deletion demonstration and pales quickly as he realises why, "Aw sh*t - We'll need to restore from last nights back up. I think I just deleted the entire System directory."
Re:My ones (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Toilet Trauma (Score:5, Funny)
As a student, my one moment of joy in a long and boring lecture course on databases was when the lecturer brightly said, "Alternatively, you can take a dump every night -- and then process the massive log you've produced".
Peter
At my most stupidest hour, I rose to the challenge (Score:2, Funny)
Here's what happened:
1. My finger went directly into the spinning CPU fan, causing one of the blades to break off and fly directly into...
2. My forehead, causing me to windmill my way backwards onto...
3. My ass, where I noticed with relief that the annoying buzzing sound had stopped, because...
4. The fan was no longer spinning. Of course, it took me a couple of seconds to realize that...
5. Oh shit! I have to turn everything off before...
6. My monitor goes bright blue as my motherboard decides to shut itself down rather than allow the CPU to melt itself into a small pool on the bottom of my case.
Thank you, ASUS, for protecting me from myself.