10 Best S/F Films That Never Existed

Jamie mentioned (via a Metafilter discussion) a great article entitled The 10 Best Sci-Fi Films that Never Existed. From the piece: "There was a movie that perfectly captured the Douglas Adams experience, the combination of bitter sarcasm and sharp imagination, the droll British wit and whale-exploding slapstick that infused his novels. And that movie was Shaun of the Dead. That movie was not, unfortunately, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, a movie that floated around Hollywood for about 20 years before it finally appeared in theaters as a flat, lifeless, americanized lump that was mostly hated by people who liked the book and loathed by people who hated the book. "

#1

[Karma Troll]

Gayniggers from Outer Space [imdb.com]

Oh wait, that's real :)

The Dialogue to this article ...

[neonprimetime]

A: Do you remember seeing that one?
B: No
A: Me neither ... but it was good
B: Yeah, Totally

In a world...

[decipher_saint]

In a post-apocalyptic world where websites mysteriously drop from existance, server hardware is reduced to mere slag and ISP lawyers roam the shattered earth a hero shall rise [nyud.net].

Coming this summer from Forks Searchlight Entertainment:
ths slashdotting

Re:Stephenson would be easier than it looks

[lionheart1327]

Of course, I'm sure they'd make YT 18.

Can't have under-age girls actually interested in sex, no, that would be ungood.

Re:As an independent filmmaker...

[radish]

Two suggestions:

(a) Move to Germany
(b) Change your name to Uwe Boll

Re:As an independent filmmaker...

[dex22]

...but I just:

a) moved to Austin, TX, from England
b) changed my name to Robert Rodriguez!

Aliens3

[McCarrum]

Aye, I'm one of the many who has printed out the script that Gibson wrote and it's now in a nice handmade book on my shelves. I am utterly amazed that it wasn't picked up - my experience with film making is minimal, but the visions of the end production from that script still inspires me.

HICKS: I thought you were programmed to protect human life?

BISHOP (with android blandness): I'm taking the long view.

Is it just me, or would this be one of those lines that would have entered the hall of "best lines ever". I can just see it being delivered in that dead-pan quiet and logical manner from Bishop. Mechanical eyes passively in hope that the human understood what had to happen.

Google Cache

[netfool]

Google Cache [72.14.207.104]

Plus, I just have to copy and paste this quote for Snow Crash, I think it's hilarious because it's completely true:

"Until a man is twenty-five, he still thinks, every so often, that under the right circumstances he could be the baddest motherfucker in the world. If I moved to a martial arts monastery in China and studied real hard for ten years. If my family was wiped out by Colombian drug dealers and I swore myself to revenge. If I got a fatal disease, had one year to live,devoted it to wiping out street crime. If I just dropped out and devoted my life to being bad."

So true, so true.

Best quote from the article

[s20451]

Everyone remembers the exact moment when they realized that their Phanom Menace sandwich was filled with shit.

I think that would make a good Slashdot poll. When did you realize that George Lucas had defecated on your childhood memories?

- Opening sequence: "The taxation of trade routes to outlying systems is in dispute."
- First appearance of Jar Jar
- First mention of midi-chlorians
- The creepy virgin birth thingy
- First appearance of the annoying brat who played young Anikin
- First appearance of the wooden teen-aged brat who played older Anikin
- ???

Re:Matrix sequels sucked because...

[Mistshadow2k4]

Indeed. [bash.org]

(Not mine.)

Keanu is GOD

[TiggertheMad]

They forgot one: Neuromancer by William Gibson.

No they didn't. You REALLY need to see Johnny Neumonic. It has some of Keanu's best 'Whoas' that he ever commited to film...

Re:Matrix sequels sucked. WHOAH.....

[Xytheril]

Don't know about you, but I might like to see a movie where Jesus fights thousands of cloned Kung Fu Romans. He kicks all of their asses, and then at the end, when he thinks he's won, the last one sneaks up behind him, grabs him, and they nail him up. Or at least that should've been how Passion of the Christ ended.

Re:Oopsie.

[Mr Pippin]

Oh! And everyone should give a show of thanks to John Travolta for ensuring no future movies are made from L. Ron Hubbard's books. "Battlefield Earth"......(shudder)
Of course, I'm sure I'll now manage to get sued for making disparaging remarks against L. Ron Hubbard.

Re:Best quote from the article

[JoeD]

There was something else that happened during the filming of "Empire": Lucas got divorced.

This meant that he lost the only person who could tell him "No George, that's a stupid idea" and get listened to.

Re:The Matrix Re-Edited

[Anonymous Coward]

Torrent?