Gadgets for the Lazy 233
theodp writes "The Pentagon has found the perfect way to demonstrate it's purely the thought that counts - 700 bugle emulators which sit in real bugles and play 'Taps' at military funerals. The Ceremonial Bugle is just one item in Wired's collection of Gadgets for the Lazy."
As an unemployed bugle player (Score:4, Insightful)
As an unemployed bugle player, I find this disappointing. :)
Seriously though, trumpet is one of the most common instruments taught in High School, and bugles are super easy to play (for a brass player). I'm positive they could find people to do this, they just don't care enough to even look.
I'd rather have a bad bugle player at a funeral of a friend, then some stupid souless gadget..
Re:Bugle emulators (Score:3, Insightful)
Shoe dryer (Score:4, Insightful)
TFA:
It's not clear how else you would dry your shoes, but this smacks of laziness.Personally I think not riding your bike to work because you might get your shoes wet in the rain smacks of laziness but maybe thats just me.
It doesn't matter. (Score:0, Insightful)
After all, they're sending these men and women off to die. The least they could do is hire a few people to honor the fallen at their funerals.
Re:call the local junior high marching band (Score:5, Insightful)
To be used in 2003? (Score:4, Insightful)
Re:As an unemployed bugle player (Score:5, Insightful)
As time goes by, though, soldiers are less and less ignorant cannon fodder and more and more skilled technicians. Learning all the stuff they need to learn is pretty time consuming. So it no longer makes sense for the miltary to maintain time-wasting rituals, like potato peeling and bugle classes.
Sigh.... (Score:5, Insightful)
1. To the smart ass that stated that they "can't be looking too hard if they can't find a trumpet player"...it's a bugle, not a trumpet. While I play neither, it is my understanding that a trumpeter cannot simply pick up a bugle and play it (especially well enough to do funeral detail).
2. Funeral details are NOT fun. After a while, it gets a little depressing. It is constant (not on weekends for 5 minutes as someone said). You stand endlessly in either blazing sun or freezing cold. You're in full dress (the most uncomfortable uniform ever designed). If you've never been to a national cemetary, then visit. There are funerals going on all day, every day, never ending. Families are limited to about 15 minutes at the graveside to make room/time for those processions scheduled behind them. Blah blah blah.
3. There is a shortage because the bugle is not a common instrument in band these days. Few people who join the military do so to play an instrument, and fewer still that do want to play funerals. Most do a rotation on funeral honors, but more often than not, the task falls to Reservists and retirees.
It's sad, but at least having someone stand there and hold a bugle while appearing to play it is better (to the grieving families) than having someone hit play on a boom box. Unless there are plans to have compulsory bugle duty and compulsory funeral detail, I think this is about the best solution that can be reached.
Re:laziness? (Score:5, Insightful)
Re:I'm not sure it's that easy. (Score:3, Insightful)
1) You can't just tell a soldier to learn the bugle and expect anything that is reasonable for a funeral.
2) You can't just tell a professional musician to stand in the place of a soldier.
Neither would produce a desireable result.
Re:laziness? (Score:4, Insightful)
Old news, but... (Score:2, Insightful)
My father is a WWII vet, and for his birthday two years ago, I (an old brass player) bought a repro 1860 bugle and pledged to play Taps at his funeral. This promise was made specifically in view of the lack of military buglists.
He loved it. And, if I can keep from crying on that inevitable day, and can firm up the embouchour, I'll be proud to lay him to rest.
Re:What I am waiting for (Score:3, Insightful)
best... pun... ever...
Re:laziness? (Score:2, Insightful)
Re:I'm sure it's that easy. (Score:3, Insightful)
I have hardly met a person who couldn't work out how to play taps in under an hour of playing.
Agreed. Taps isn't all that hard to play. What is hard, though, is to play Taps *well*. The notes are easy, but smooth, crisp transitions between them and a nice tone require practice. I once attended a military funeral with a bugler who had a nasty, buzzing tone, bobbled note changes and who had a hard time with the high notes. It would have been a better ceremony if they had used a bugling device. The bad redition of Taps was embarassing and distracting. That's okay for evening Taps at camp, but not for a funeral.
Most of these items have useful functions (Score:2, Insightful)
In this article they are clearly targeting, as forms of social criticism against people who are lazy:
1. The Motor Lounger: something for genuine lazy tards
2. Ice-cream turner: A gag gift
3. Computer in bed: Something that any geek who has ever been confined to a bed would drool over (but I guess we don't care about invalids).
4. The bird 2.0: Another gag gift (I mean, did someone with no sense of humor write this humorous article about lazy people gadgets)
5. Body dryer: Again, I guess we have never heard of invalids. Because of this article I am going to buy one of these for my grandmother who cannot lift her arm over her head to dry her back or hair (I guess ignorance and narrow minded bigotry does yield some edible fruit).
6. Bugle emulator: Since the whole thread is about this one I'm going to leave it alone
7. Shoe mops: I guess this was a candidate. I'd have put the Chopsticks fan http://www.mindbreakers.com/mb/img/invention7.jpg [mindbreakers.com] in its place, but I don't think the writer was trying too hard to find things that are genuinely about saving effort.
8. The Disc Pod: Well, I can't think of a useful purpose for this one
9. Lazy drinker: As a former caterer I can tell you that this would save thousands and thousands of dollars over a year. This is clearly not aimed at the home user.
10. Sushi machine: Same story. This is for people who have to feed lots of people regularly for cheap. Not for yuppies trying to live an urban lifestyle in their kitchen.
11. iPod bed: Yup. This is a gadget for the spoiled and lazy.
12. AIBO dog: I am curious what it says about the editor of the column that he thought the AIBO dog qualified for this article. It's a toy, dumbass.
13. Wireless cooking thermometer: I guess the author likes leaning into a blazing hot oven trying to read a mechanical gadget that's not accurate and only slightly cheaper than this item. I mean why not dispense with tools altogether and just eat it raw. Really, is this seriously supposed to save time somehow? I guess we could all go back to mechanical watches too since digital is just soooo lazy, natch the fact that they are more reliable, last longer, can be read in the dark and cost a fraction of the price.
14. Shoe dryer: Do people get their shoes wet often enough to need this? If they do then, yes, I think it would be genuinely useful. Last tme I got my shoes wet I put them by the radiator and they took three days to dry in winter.
15. Eyeglasses washer: Uh, I don't wear glasses, but I'm guessing that if I ran a shop that sold them that I'd have one of these in the back.
16. Electric fly swatter: Yeah, this is about the dumbest thing I've seen too.
17. Roomba: Well, I think it's neat, but I have to admit it qualifies for the article.
18. Hot dog toaster, okay, it's stupid, but jeez it would be fun to use the first day you have it before it clutters a spot on the top shelf for the next eight years till the kids are old enough to use it themselves. Hell, I used to wrap a dog up in a paper towel and put it in the microwave. Tasted just like the ball park (seats) and it was easier to use than this gadget looks.
19. How exactly is this easier than pouring it from the carton? Have you ever squeezed a whole orange? I think this falls into the dumb category along with the Subway chin rest http://www.mindbreakers.com/mb/img/invention1.jpg [mindbreakers.com], but for the lazy? I don't get it.
Maybe I'm just lacking in a sense of humor, but I think the the guys who put this article together were either slammed up against a deadline or just enjoyed any excuse to be mean. Like th
Do you know what you are talking about? (Score:1, Insightful)
Most of you have no idea what it means to render Military Funeral Honors. To you, this is joke about the difficulty of playing Taps. To us, this is about expressing our Nation's gratitude to our fallen comrades for their years of faithful service. We take this duty very seriously, and execute it in the most professional manner possible.
The current mantra for the USAF is to do more with less. That is precisely what the bugle emulator allows us to do; render the most professional ceremony we can with the limited resources we have. The families of the deceased are always grateful that we are there, and can see the pride we take in honoring their loved one.
These are my personal opinions, and in no way reflect those of the USAF. If you would like to know the official opinion of the USAF on this subject contact the Public Affairs office at any Air Force Base.