Star Wars Virgin Takes the Plunge 397
Entertainment Weekly is running a short account of one Star Wars virgin who recently sat down to watch all six Star Wars movies in their originally intended order while recording his thoughts. From the article: "So after watching the sun set on all six of the Star Wars (or sun rise, in my case), what do these movies mean to me? I have to be careful where I tread here, because people's love of these movies is passionate to say the least. (Personal note: My friends had a Star Wars-themed wedding.) The cynical and tired side of me wants to say that George wanted Episode I to be shown first because after watching 14 straight hours of Star Wars, my memories of young Anakin and Jar Jar are almost long forgotten. I've tossed them aside along with my package of caffeine pills and bottle of Coke."
Anyone... (Score:5, Funny)
Speaking of long movies... (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Anyone... (Score:2, Funny)
Star Wars Virgin? (Score:4, Funny)
How strange (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Anyone... (Score:5, Funny)
I don't think that word means what you think it means.
Re:Speaking of long movies... (Score:4, Funny)
Re:So tiring (Score:4, Funny)
Confusing headline (Score:5, Funny)
The headline made it sound like a Star Wars-loving virgin who had actually gotten laid was going to tell us what it was like to finally score.
Re:we all know (Score:5, Funny)
Star Wars wedding? (Score:5, Funny)
Re:So tiring (Score:3, Funny)
The Natural Order Of Things? (Score:2, Funny)
I argued this point for about 2 hours in a pub once, almost got kicked out. A stupid, stupid friend of ours was trying to get my girlfriend (a Star Wars virgin as well), to watch them in release order (4, 5, 6, 1, 2, 3).
I nearly slit his throat, corrupting my girlfriend with wrong thinking like that. It still upsets me.
Re:Anyone... (Score:2, Funny)
Re:we all know (Score:5, Funny)
Re:I prefer a different ordering (Score:4, Funny)
I didn't know Quentin Tarantino read Slashdot
Re:Anyone... (Score:5, Funny)
It's like the mathematical axioms -- we assume them to be true, simply because we haven't found any counter examples.
The Perfect Heckle (Score:5, Funny)
At this precise moment during the '97 special edition release of Star Wars, in a packed house (the Uptown Theater in Washington DC, 840 seats), some guy down in front yelled,
INNNN-CEST!!!!
The whole place cracked up. I wish I could say it was me, but alas, it wasn't.
Re:Anyone... (Score:2, Funny)
So a male homosexual who has never had male/female intercourse but plenty of male/male intercourse is destined to be a virgin all his life?
Re:Speaking of long movies... (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Anyone... (Score:5, Funny)
Re:The Perfect Heckle (Score:5, Funny)
Darth Vader: A small rebel force has penetrated the shield and landed on Endor.
The Emperor: Yes, I know.
Darth Vader: My son is with them.
The Emperor: Are you sure?
Darth Vader: I have felt him.
(Guy in audience snickers loudly)
But that doesn't top a Star Wars virgin moment I witnessed. At the same marathon, we were watching The Empire Strikes Back about 15 years after it came out, with a friend who really was a Star Wars virgin.
Darth Vader: "I AM YOUR FATHER."
During the silence that follows, my friend is the only person in the entire theater who gasps audibly.
After which half the theater turned to look at her in disbelief...
Re:Anyone... (Score:1, Funny)
Re:Anyone... (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Star Wars Virgin? (Score:5, Funny)
I've read the headline as (Score:3, Funny)
From "Clerks"... (Score:3, Funny)
Dante: "Empire".
Randal: Blasphemy.
Dante: "Empire" had the better ending. I mean, Luke gets his hand cut off, finds out Vader's his father, Han gets frozen and taken away by Boba Fett. It ends on such a down note. I mean, that's what life is, a series of down endings. All "Jedi" had was a bunch of Muppets.
Re:The Perfect Heckle (Score:2, Funny)
What are you talking about? (Score:4, Funny)
That's not a "fantastic" heckle. Here's a fantastic heckle...
If you recall, the bad dudes in Battlefield Earth wore these huge platform boots to make them look taller and more menacing. Watching the movie with my brother, the part came where Forrest Whitaker was pleading for his life, saying "please, I have a wife, I have a family..." and my brother adds "...I just took out a mortgage on a new pair of shoes..."
Now that is a heckle.Re:Star Wars Virgin? (Score:3, Funny)
Re:It seems to me... (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Anyone... (Score:5, Funny)
I think you'd get a lot of support for that idea, from the women themselves.
Re:Confusing headline (Score:4, Funny)
Re:Anyone... (Score:5, Funny)
It seemed on-topic to me.
Re:Star Wars Virgin? (Score:2, Funny)
Not a woman?
Was she at least 16 or does grass on the field throw you off?
Re:Anyone... (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Star Wars wedding? (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Bad News About Star Wars (Cover Your Ears!) (Score:4, Funny)
Search your feelings... you know it to be true.
Re:we all know (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Speaking of long movies... (Score:5, Funny)
Game time started. (Score:5, Funny)
Alternatively I recommend 4, 5, 6, Backstroke of the West. BotW arguably is more entertaining than vanilla Episode 3.
Re:Star Wars wedding? (Score:3, Funny)
Marital relations..the one instance in which 'Han Shoots First' is a bad thing.