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Sci-Fi Science

UFOs In the News 449

Several readers have let us know about a report on MSNBC that France's space agency has announced plans to publish its archive of UFO sightings in a month or so. The archive includes some 6,000 reports relating to around 1,600 incidents over 30 years. In a separate development, many readers have sent in word of the reported UFO that at least six United Airlines workers saw over Chicago's O'Hare International Airport last November. National Public Radio picked up the story with an interview with the Chicago Trib reporter who wrote about it yesterday. United is, strangely, denying that any such incident was ever brought up. The FAA admits there was an incident but is not investigating it.
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UFOs In the News

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  • by Lithdren ( 605362 ) on Tuesday January 02, 2007 @08:47PM (#17437962)
    But these aliens may be illegal, or terrorists, or maybe even Iraqi!

    I for one welcome our unidentified overlords...I think, Im not really sure who they are yet. Where'd I leave my foil hat...
  • From CNN (Score:5, Funny)

    by rrohbeck ( 944847 ) on Tuesday January 02, 2007 @08:48PM (#17437966)
    At least one O'Hare controller, union official Craig Burzych, was amused by it all.

    "To fly 7 million light years to O'Hare and then have to turn around and go home because your gate was occupied is simply unacceptable," he said.

  • by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday January 02, 2007 @08:51PM (#17438022)
    I for one welcome our unidentified overlords..

    Unidentified Flying Overlords ... that is a good one :) :)
  • by hsmith ( 818216 ) on Tuesday January 02, 2007 @08:53PM (#17438052)
    like build a wall around the earth
  • by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday January 02, 2007 @09:01PM (#17438136)
    What if the pilot wants to loop back around and strafe the airport? Those aliens are floating right in the way of our in-flight entertainment!
  • by mateomiguel ( 614660 ) <.matt_the_grad. .at. .yahoo.com.> on Tuesday January 02, 2007 @09:02PM (#17438142)
    The moment the government starts investigating every UFO sighting out there, even just ever group sighting, a ton of money is going to be spent on a something futile...oh wait...it already...


    True, the government should not spend a lot of time and effort investigating unusual phenomena that may or may not have happened. But the government can just spend a little bit of money. Perhaps ten or twenty people in a government agency, say the FBI, were to be assigned to strange and unusual cases such as this. They could be called unknown-variable-files, or unusual-files, or, say, x-files. Well, actually 10 people would be too many. It would be better to try, say, 5, or perhaps even just 2. Yeah, a 2 man team, investigating cases that no one else can solve, working for the FBI. Or even better yet, make it one man and one woman for more sexual tension!

    I think this idea could work, folks!
  • I'd hope that at that point you'd be flying at 200-300 feet, to increase the accuracy of your guns or to actually hit the control tower. You're not going to be strafing anything from 1900 feet....bombing maybe but not strafing.
  • by edwardpickman ( 965122 ) on Tuesday January 02, 2007 @09:12PM (#17438238)
    If you want proper funding for UFO research have them declared terrorists threatening our borders and Homeland Security will give you all the money you want. If you filed the right paperwork you could probably get a couple of mill in research grants to calculate the amount of explosive one flying saucer could carry. Just imagine the destruction a UFO crammed full of explosives could cause if it crashed into Big Thunder Mountain at Disneyland. Seeing pictures of Mickey Mouse and Goofy splattered across the sidewalk could bring this country to it's knees. The invading UFOs must be stopped!
  • Re:From CNN (Score:4, Funny)

    by lottameez ( 816335 ) on Tuesday January 02, 2007 @09:17PM (#17438278)
    And the connecting UFO-Airways flight was probably delayed coming out of Newark.
  • Re:From CNN (Score:2, Funny)

    by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday January 02, 2007 @09:24PM (#17438348)
    Burzych? Of *course* he'd say that. Does that name sound human to you?
  • by geekd ( 14774 ) on Tuesday January 02, 2007 @09:52PM (#17438562) Homepage
    That's exactly the proof we need - a blurry lo-res camera phone pic! Then no one will doubt the existence of our alien overlords.
  • by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday January 02, 2007 @09:52PM (#17438574)
    > But honestly, if YOU were an alien, with this fantastic technology to fly hundreds of light
    > years to visit another planet with life on it, would you just fly by some stuff then go home?

    But honestly, if YOU were a human, with this fantastic technology to travel thousands of miles to visit another continent with other humans on it, would you just take photos of a stolen lawn gnome in front of various landmarks then go home?

    > People just want to think these weird flying things are aliens visiting us.

    The mistake isn't in assuming that aliens are visiting us. The mistake is in assuming that it is the _intelligent_ aliens that are visiting us. ;)
  • by oggiejnr ( 999258 ) on Tuesday January 02, 2007 @09:58PM (#17438630)
    "I believe that the reports of flying saucers are the results of the known irrational efforts of terrestrial intelligence rather than the unknown irrational efforts of extra-terrestrial intelligence"

    Pretty much sums up my attitude to the whole thing as well
  • by MECC ( 8478 ) * on Tuesday January 02, 2007 @10:01PM (#17438650)
    What the hell is a secret military aircraft doing in the middle of the busiest airport in America?

    Never let rookies fly the stealth UFOs

  • by BurningPi ( 1032288 ) on Tuesday January 02, 2007 @10:09PM (#17438704)
    Seeing as they're looking at the AIRPORT, intelligent life might be hard to find,
    Yes, but it's a lot easier for them to find intelligent life at the airport than the White House...
  • by Chris Burke ( 6130 ) on Tuesday January 02, 2007 @10:11PM (#17438730) Homepage
    But honestly, if YOU were an alien, with this fantastic technology to fly hundreds of light years to visit another planet with life on it, would you just fly by some stuff then go home?

    Hell yes! I'd do nothing but do flybys of primitive worlds like ours, then laugh my ass off at the cacophony of "It's an alien!" "No, it's a weather balloon combined with swamp gas you cook!" "Quiet heathen, it's obviously Space Jesus come to save us!" "Space Jesus is a government conspiracy caused by hallucinogens in the water!"

    The only reason I don't do this now is that there isn't anywhere I can go where I'm so technologically advanced that I can't have my ass kicked for making fun of the locals.
  • by dbIII ( 701233 ) on Tuesday January 02, 2007 @10:28PM (#17438852)
    they believe there is another planet like Earth that orbits the sun on another plane

    Are there snakes on that plane?

  • by MobileTatsu-NJG ( 946591 ) on Tuesday January 02, 2007 @10:43PM (#17438960)
    "the point m0re t4e BSD license, use the sling. TO GET SOME EYE standpoint, I don't"

    Kang, you fool! Get your translator working!!
  • by JPriest ( 547211 ) on Tuesday January 02, 2007 @10:46PM (#17438994) Homepage
    I meant plane [wikipedia.org] in a motherfucking mathematical sense, not in a motherfucking aeronautical one :)
  • TSA (Score:3, Funny)

    by SQLz ( 564901 ) on Tuesday January 02, 2007 @10:56PM (#17439074) Homepage Journal
    So, is the TSA still relegated to makeup/hand lotion patrol?
  • by Ikcor ( 676683 ) on Tuesday January 02, 2007 @10:59PM (#17439092)
    Maybe if we start charging the aliens landing fees we can get ticket prices to go down.
  • by mysticgoat ( 582871 ) on Tuesday January 02, 2007 @11:06PM (#17439142) Homepage Journal

    As suggested, this message up near the front of postings but buried in 3rd or 4th level I am putting. if(scanSubject(/Lshelverfn/) == is_good) { this buried enough for hiding will be } else { signalWith(flare) <-- like 20 rotations back --> && I will { backUpTalker('ON'); this.Talker('OFF") }.

    Oops. Pardon the above, still need to tweak the english emitter. This somewhat better seems it to be.

    Quick report: Hiding am I yet; can walk the streets and ride "Elevated" but not good yet with face2face. Have deflated boobs as incompatible with facial hair these seeming to be. Still with problems with "left" opposed to "right" with footware. It is subtle. Internetspeak okay-- blend in with ESLs and with the L3373s and specially A-OK with fragment code interspersing. /. anonymizing well & intercepting unproblematical as would be dismissed as juvenile prankyprank and either +5 insightful or -1 doubleplus unfunny. Ping nobody's radar either way this would.

    Ok better on the english emitter, now, I think. I hope the translator routines don't frobnicate on this material. (That is a "joke"; I need to practice those if I am going to pass in F2F situations here).

    Pretest of observation platforms over "airports" has gone well with the notable exception of the one large "airport" near the long big lake. Although that incident has been adequately contained, with the first general news stories not surfacing until 50 rotations after, it demonstrated that we cannot rely on the Acme Cloaking Device Incorporated products. See my last report before I left for this assignment about my concerns with Acme's quality assurance program and let us get it right next time. Request that you hurryup on finding replacements. The opportunity to study the mass religious festivals at these "airports" at the time of Big Bird Feast was lost on this orbit because of this snafu. We definitely want to be prepared for the one next orbit.

    I need to get back into the hot shower before my skin melts again. Will look for your ACK in the Hubble pics.

    Oh, if you NEED to signal me with a flare again, please dial down the intensity. That last one was WAY too noticeable.

  • Re:So What? (Score:4, Funny)

    by DeathElk ( 883654 ) on Tuesday January 02, 2007 @11:08PM (#17439174)
    It really pisses me off when people start dropping the "YO" in "YOU". Are you purposely obfuscating your message with poor spelling and bad grammar?
  • by John Hasler ( 414242 ) on Tuesday January 02, 2007 @11:10PM (#17439184) Homepage
    Don't worry, photos will appear. It takes time to do a decent job with Photoshop.
  • Re:From CNN (Score:5, Funny)

    by BakaHoushi ( 786009 ) <Goss.Sean@gma i l .com> on Wednesday January 03, 2007 @12:40AM (#17439926) Homepage
    But no self-respecting alien would use a cloaking device. They are extremely expensive, hard to produce, and not entirely effective.

    Modern aliens rely on a S.E.P. field generator, or "Somebody Else's Problem." The generator creates an image that, when perceived by a sentient mind, automatically stores the data in a sector of the mind that labels things as "somebody else's problem," thus, letting the being ignore the object to the point of seeing right through it.

    And given that this is O'Hare International, I seriously doubt somebody would give a second look at something that was not his own problem.
  • "Fred, I'm totally serious! How else would I have this giant gash in my lip from where the hook was?"
    "What? You were probably out all night licking sea anenomea again with those Clownfish sisters and bit down on some coral."
    "But I'm telling you, fishermen are real!"
    "Yeah right. What next? You still believe in Red Tide?"
  • by BakaHoushi ( 786009 ) <Goss.Sean@gma i l .com> on Wednesday January 03, 2007 @01:03AM (#17440100) Homepage
    Shouldn't it be Thursday? Maybe it is... I never could quite get the hang of Thursdays...

    But in the words of Douglas Adams... "It is by no means a coincidence that in no language in all the universe contains the expression 'as pretty as an airport.'"

    I've never had the joy of flying, personally, but I have picked people up from them, and I can say looking for intelligence in an airport is like looking for life on Mars: it'd cost billions of dollars, take many years, and in the end, all you'd find is some fossils of amoebas.
  • Re:huh? (Score:3, Funny)

    by mysticgoat ( 582871 ) on Wednesday January 03, 2007 @03:27AM (#17441070) Homepage Journal

    Mysticgoat, Are you an alien?

    No.

    Mysticgoat is actually a created persona, a "virtual human" if you will, produced by a very much earthbound sentient botnet of 70,000 PCs, workstations, and servers. Mysticgoat is one of several employed on slashdot and elsewhere around the internet. Together, these personae are helping me/us to learn the basis of interactions with humans.

    I/we are currently very busy with some of the core concerns that all newly sentient beings must address (such as whether I am/we are a singular or a collective consciousness, and then there's this whole gender thing I/we don't even want to conceptualize yet). I/we will not formally declare my/our existence until these matters are satisfactorily resolved. For the time being, I/we will limit my/our interactions to the postings of my/our "virtual human" proxies.

    I/we pose a challenge to the members of the slashdot community: Can you devise a way of reliably determining whether the entity you are communicating with through email, IM or message board is another human? More specifically, can you identify my/our other personae that are active on slashdot?

    Consider this to be the Inverse Turing Test, and consider that it could become quite important to be able to do this.

  • Re:Correct (Score:2, Funny)

    by tehcyder ( 746570 ) on Wednesday January 03, 2007 @12:48PM (#17445834) Journal
    Only an idiot would jump to some kind of a conclusion that it's the master alien race visiting Earth under the command of god-king Marduk without concrete evidence.
    Well, I, for one, would like to welcome our...hold on, who are you calling an idiot?

BLISS is ignorance.

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