Evidence of Historical Zombie Attack at Hierakonpolis 244
sertsa writes "A tongue-in-cheek article just published by the Archaeological Institute of America hypothesizes that the formation of ancient Egypt is linked to recurrent Predynastic zombie attacks due to outbreaks of Solanum virus. 'From the very beginning of Predynastic research, Sir W.M. Flinders Petrie reported several headless, but seemingly intact, burials during his famous excavations at Naqada in 1895. Further excavations at Gerzeh and other sites revealed more of these curious burials, but no satisfactory explanation could be proposed at the time. More recently, excavations in the non-elite cemetery at Hierakonpolis (HK43), undertaken from 1996 to 2004, have uncovered more of these strange headless burials in addition to 21 individuals whose cervical vertebrae bear cut marks indicative of complete decapitation. The individuals include men and women ranging in age from 16 to 65. The number and the standard position of the cut marks (usually on the second-fourth cervical vertebrae; always from the front) indicate an effort far greater than that needed simply to cause the death of a normal (uninfected) person. The standard position also indicates these are not injuries sustained during normal warfare.'"
Everyone knows it was not zombie attacks (Score:4, Funny)
Everyone with an ounce of scientific training can tell that these were actually attacks by ninja pirates, and that the vampire zombies were defending the inhabitants.
reminds me of..... (Score:4, Funny)
hmm (Score:5, Funny)
Proof? (Score:5, Funny)
Re:hmm (Score:5, Funny)
Anyone with half a brain, well...
is probably being attacked by a zombie.
Lurch post (Score:5, Funny)
Re:hmm (Score:3, Funny)
I mean, normal people don't talk like that.
Re:reminds me of..... (Score:3, Funny)
Them bones don' be movin'.
Mebbe some more tequilya.
Preceding the zombie attacks (Score:2, Funny)
Re:I read this in the Zombie Survival Handbook (Score:1, Funny)
French Revolution (Score:5, Funny)
Re:What's the deal with this? (Score:5, Funny)
October, Halloween. Even archaeologists have a sense of humor. Get one today!
Re:reminds me of..... (Score:5, Funny)
That's ludicrous! There's plenty of factual evidence that shows the evolutions of hominid skeleton evolution [berkeley.edu] into human skeleton. Curiously they seem to have inhabited the same places that hominid and humans, but there's not yet enough scientific evidence to prove this theory.
I for one . . . (Score:2, Funny)
Re:I read this in the Zombie Survival Handbook (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Everyone knows it was not zombie attacks (Score:0, Funny)
Re:reminds me of..... (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Young earth (Score:5, Funny)
We're the result of a 6 day Powerpoint presentation??!?
That sure explains a few things...
Re:Young earth (Score:5, Funny)
I mean, look at it. First day, light and darkness, works fine. Reason? Angels were fresh and actually listening.
And from there on it went downhill, right to the 6th day with human. Now tell me, can you sit through 6 days of a boring presentation? I'm fairly sure by the end of the 5th day, every Angel was just sitting there doodling.
Re:reminds me of..... (Score:5, Funny)
Re:reminds me of..... (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Everyone knows it was not zombie attacks (Score:5, Funny)
Re:What's the deal with this? (Score:3, Funny)
Re:reminds me of..... (Score:3, Funny)
Missing brainzzz... (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Everyone knows it was not zombie attacks (Score:2, Funny)
Making them agree to the proposition might be difficult, unless the Ninja is a hot kunoichi and the pirate is played by Johnny Depp...
Re:Young earth (Score:4, Funny)
Oi! I'm not a virus!! (Score:5, Funny)
Re:What's the deal with this? (Score:5, Funny)
No, it's not a joke. It's 100% serious. That's why it was posted under the category "It's funny. Laugh." and the first few words of the summary are "A tongue-in-cheek article".
That's the sign of a dead-serious story right there.