New 4100 Lumen Flashlight Can Set Things On Fire

i4u writes "Engadget is reporting that Wicked Lasers has introduced The Torch. It is the world's brightest and most powerful flashlight. The Flashlight is capable of melting plastic, lighting paper on fire within seconds, and if you like, fry an egg or a marshmallow on a stick. At 4100 lumens, The Torch is 100 lumens more powerful than The Polarion Helios, the former most powerful flashlight, and retails for around $300. The Torch is apparently also undergoing review at the Guinness Book of World Records."

Campfires!

[San-LC]

It would make campfire storytelling even more interesting! "Here's the tale of the man whose face melted off, oooOoooOoohhh AGHH MY FACE IS FALLING OFF!" Subsequently, many camp counselors have crapped their pants at the mere thought.

Omg

[Anonymous Coward]

It pumps out so much light that there is a recoil when you switch it on!

Excellent (taps fingertips together)

[$RANDOMLUSER]

Won't be long before we have phasers.

oh deary me

[Mipoti Gusundar]

The goggle's - they are not doing nothing!

Lumens War

[blankaBrew]

Now begins the lumens war.

This is actually a good idea

[Anonymous Coward]

Think how much longer your batteries will last by using the light from the fires you start.

In other news...

[Char-i-o's]

a series of self-ignitions has been reported across the country...

Power Ouchage

[zgregoryg]

Dang, the lights went out. Now where is my dissertation? Oh crap!

Oblig...

[Anonymous Coward]

4000 lumens should be enough for anyone...

oblig.

[Rob T Firefly]

Do not look into flashlight with remaining eye.

I have one. It doesn't seem so bright

[unassimilatible]

These are kind of cheap. At first it looked really bright, but I stared into it and after a while, the light is barely visible. I think it's defective.

I can see it now...

[PirateBlis]

Are you a peeping tom? Ever get teased through those binoculars because she just won't take the rest of her clothing off? Well be teased no longer with The Torch! Burn away those pesky garmets within seconds so you can see exactly what you're spying for!

New and improved

[hansamurai]

Let me know when you make a Fleshlight version.

I can beat that...

[Bob-taro]

My invention, "An Actual Torch" can set things on fire in even less time. It also has a much more disperse beam so it illuminates a wide area. The only drawback is it has a much shorter range. But then again on the plus side, it can't be accidentally used to destroy airplanes.

The only question is...

[Anonymous Coward]

Will it blend?

Re:15 minutes?

[AugustZephyr]

You obviously have not considered the amount of fun you can have in 15 minutes with a flashlight that can light stuff on fire.

Re:But what is the point?

[Jaysyn]

They grow up to be taxpayers.

- Every other politician

coming soon

[Khashishi]

waterproof shark harness

I can see it now...

[PirateBlis]

Are you a Peeping Tom? Does the person you're "watching" often tease you through your binoculars because she won't remove that silly bra? Well get teased no more! New from Wicked Lasers, it's The Torch!!! Now, just point The Torch at your obsession, press the button, and burn away those pesky garments in seconds!!! Do yourself a favor and see what you've really wanted to see! Buy The Torch!!! 30 easy payments of $10 per week. Act now!

Re:Omg

[bar-agent]

This flashlight had better make a sound like "bwwOOOWWWWMMMmmmm" when you turn it on.

Re:But what is the point?

[Torvaun]

Sure it would, and the meat's already cooked by the time you get there to field dress it.

Re:warning labels

[Ultra64]

It is fucking dangerous! Maybe you think that chainsaws shouldn't have warning labels as well?

Of course they shouldn't. If someone is so brain damaged that they can't figure out that a SAW can hurt them, why shouldn't they suffer the consequences?

You can't protect stupid people from themselves, and you shouldn't try. It just encourages the spread of stupidity among the general population.

Re:WOW!!

[elrous0]

I've been coming to Slashdot since 1998, and that is one of the most useless posts I have ever seen. Bravo, good fag.

I agree.

-Eric

Re:warning labels

[Pojut]

Don't take this the wrong way, but that sounded EXACTLY like something my Dad would say.

"So I'm sitting there, installing this new valve for a toilet...everything is going great, until I turn the water back on, twist the new valve open and realize that I didn't put any sealing tape on the threads. So water is flying everywhere, right? I quickly shut off the valve, and proceed to stand up to go back downstairs to shut off the water. Up I go, on my feet...down I go, on my back. Floors are slippery when they are wet. Don't forget that."

Re:warning labels

[EMeta]

I would really appreciate it if all my extension cords were clearly labeled for recommended maximum voltage. I mean, sure I can figure I shouldn't put on too much, but knowing that figure each time I use it would be handy.

Re:warning labels

[TheGratefulNet]

built to almost exactly duplicate the form, shape, and function of the traditional flashlight

do you realize that in some countries, they call that a torch ?

I traveled to australia and when in a taxi, the driver asked me to open his glove box and hand him a torch. I was horrified! until I opened the box to see 'only' a flashlight there. "will this do?" "yeah, that's what I just asked you for".

really. they call them that 'down there'.

so why not *really* make a torch out of it? the name is already in place.

Re:warning labels

[GrievousMistake]

We have updated the entry a little. It now says "Mostly harmless."

Re:New and improved

[gnick]

If you're shopping for a Fleshlight that sets things on fire, you've got some real issues to sort out...

Re:warning labels

[FleaPlus]

"Please do not shine flashlight into remaining face"

Re:New and improved

[Alsee]

Mom! Help! Come to the basement quick!
My penis is on fire again!

-

Re:But what is the point?

[Notquitecajun]

Ummm...HEAT RAY!!

Did you NOT read/listen to/see/experience War of the Worlds? You're the FIRST puny human I'm using this thing on! And no common cold is gonna stop me!

Re:warning labels

[RalphSleigh]

Nerd card. Now.

Re:warning labels

[gnick]

No offense taken - Hopefully my son will learn not to do idiotic things like this just like I should have from my father. Quoth my father:
"If nothing else, maybe I can serve as a bad example."

The Real Torches

[writerjosh]

Finally, the English can now truly call their flashlights "torches."

Re:warning labels

[batquux]

E. Look at the beam while it lights the orange label on fire.

Re:warning labels

[Ced_Ex]

You forgot:

E) Look directly into the beam.

Re:Omg Ready... Illuminating/Eliminating--1, 2, 3

[davidsyes]

1. Gives a new meaning to "Flash burn"

2. Hit three performing singers at once and it's a "torch song trilogy"...

3. As a method of execution.... Trial by fire... no illusions here

Re:Omg

[Random BedHead Ed]

The metric system is the tool of the devil. My flashlight gets forty rods to the hogshead, and that's the way I likes it!

Missing options

[Anonymous Coward]

E) Do not look into flashlight with remaining face.

Re:warning labels

[EMeta]

You're absolutely right. Voltage. Ugh. I knew there was a reason us MechE's keep EE's around.

Re:Omg

[Anonymous Coward]

Yeah but how many laptop football fields is that?

Re:Omg

[rasputin465]

This flashlight had better make a sound like "bwwOOOWWWWMMMmmmm" when you turn it on.

Give it to your neighbor's son and say,

"Your father wanted you to have this when you were old enough, but your uncle wouldn't allow it."

"Why wouldn't my uncle allow it?"

"Because you can burn your arm off with this."

"COOL!"

Re:But what is the point?

[meringuoid]

Ummm...HEAT RAY!! Did you NOT read/listen to/see/experience War of the Worlds? You're the FIRST puny human I'm using this thing on! And no common cold is gonna stop me!

* ring ring. ring ring. *

Hello. Yes. Get me the First Lord of the Admiralty, would you? I need to have a word with the Navy. Thanks awfully. Yes, I'll hold... ... ... Ah, hello Sir Rupert. Yes, we've got a bit of a flap on down near Foulness. Yes. Somebody with a... very intense light beam of some kind, setting fire to shipping. Yes, it's a new one on me too. Amazing what they think up. Well, y'see, it's not going to be long before they get the pictures on the old television, and we really have to look like we're doing something about it... HMS Thunder-Child is free? You'll shell the source of the beam? I say, that's wonderful. It'll look quite dashing on the six o'clock news all right. Well, terrific. Best of luck to you all, and give them a couple of shells from me too! Cheerio!

Re:warning labels

[mOdQuArK!]

You know you're really playing with Darwin when you actually get USED to getting shocked by line current. I fell into that mode when I was fixing up all the outlets in my house. I was too lazy to set up a battery-powered lamp & work in the dark, so I did everything with the breakers still on. I kept on brushing the wires with my bare skin & getting shocked. After a dozen or so "d*mnit"s, I started ignoring the shocks & just doing the work.

Granted, I didn't actually grab any of the bare wire ends and hang on, but in retrospect it wasn't exactly the safest behavior to be following.

Not long after that, I tried testing a 220V outlet with the back of my hand & ended up punching myself in the face. Beauty of a black eye, and a great conversation starter :-)

Good news, everyone!

[Bluesman]

I'd use mine to search for the winning Slurm can.

F-Ray

[SilentBob0727]

[Bender examines Fry's insides with the F-Ray]

Fry: Ow! My sperm!

[Bender examines Fry's insides again]

Fry: Huh. Didn't feel anything that time.

Re:warning labels

[Vexor]

G.) Buy two and use them to melt the labels of each other.

Re:warning labels

[Nazlfrag]

Don't worry, these are elegant weapons from a more civilized age.

Re:warning labels

[megabunny]

My favourite, and posted on my wall, reputedly winner of some contest:

"Caution: accidents with chainsaws are rarely trivial"

MB

We've come so far

[Melbourne Pete]

Finally, we have a torch that can both provide light and a source of fire. Wait a minute...

Re:Campfires!

[bobstay]

Maybe you have the muscles in your right arm to pump away at that torch for 48 hours straight, but most of us haven't had quite that much practice.

That's obligatory? This is obligatory:

[Crayon Kid]

"It burnsss uss!"

Re:Campfires!

[Anonymous Coward]

right arm ... pump away ... for 48 hours straight, but most of us haven't had quite that much practice.

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