Gaffes That Keep IT Geeks From the Boardroom

buzzardsbay writes "Yes, it's all in good fun to point out the mismatched belt and shoes and the atrocious hairstyles, but honestly, I'm committing three of these errors right now! Is that why I can't get a key to the executive washroom? Or is it my rebellious attitude and pungent man-scent that's keeping me down? The shocker in here was pigtails on women... I love pigtails on women!"

Slideshow

[Shadow-isoHunt]

Why the hell did you link to a slideshow? That site's slow as hell for me(rest of the net's fine), and the images weren't even loaded by the time it decided it was time to switch slides. The net isn't meant to be like a powerpoint presentation. Worse was the fact that adblock caught the "pause" button.

No slide show version

[Derling Whirvish]

Gaffes Keeping Geeks Out of the Board Room

1. Mismatching Shoes and Belt
2. Tie and Short Sleeve Shirt
3. The One Binary Watch
4. Tight Black Jeans
5. Oversized Hawaiian Shirts
6. Socks and Sandals
7. Alternative Hairstyles
8. Concert T-shirts
9. A Closet of Vendor and Trade Show Gear
10. Stains

It's really testament to the shallowness of the boardroom that these are actually taken seriously by those with the ability to promote people. Your plan for upgrading the servers using well-reasoned arguments backed with meticulous research data to save the company megamoney in maintenance well be passed over because they are concentrating on your mismatched belt and shoes instead. >sigh

Re:This is why I might have to stay in academia

[freedom_india]

Why does it matter if I have long hair? Why should people give a crap what I'm wearing?

I will take this one:

Scientifically speaking, vision (inputs from our eyes) form 80% of our total sensory input (compared to 10% for a Dog).
Hence visually appealing is a battle won 3/4 of the way.
People generally don't place much emphasis on what you speak, if your appearence is Michael jackson or Janet Jackson with wardrobe malfunction. (unless you are proven to be so good like Einstein, but he too had to wear a Tux to make his peers take him seriously).
Which is why some people still love jessica simpson on stage or even Jessica Alba (even though their acting skill would give hiccups to Spielberg).

Probably what we wear does not matter to a dog (which gets 50% of its input from smell, 40% from hearing and 10% visual), since it sees by smell.
But then dogs do not run boardrooms (literally speaking that is).

Satisfied with a scientific answer?

Most of this is true

[StarKruzr]

... but there really is no excuse for bad hygiene.

Re:Why would I even want to be in the Boardroom

[Tiroth]

Bonuses are taxed at the same rate as the rest of your income...perhaps you mean that because the bonus is "on top of" your normal income, it is taxed at your marginal rate? In that sense it is at the highest rate you pay, but so is that 5% raise. You can't game the system and get more take-home pay via that method.

What might be confusing the issue is that I believe the IRS has larger withholding requirements for bonus payments, but the withholding is just to make sure you have paid enough by tax time -- if it was set too high you'll get a refund. This makes it look like take-home pay is lower than it really is.

Re:Slashdot

[Carik]

The problem is only partly other management. Upper management wants lower management to be presentable to customers (in most fields); customers notice. They won't do business with a company they think is sloppy, and in a first meeting, appearance makes a HUGE impression.

Actually, most people notice clothing a lot more than they realize. In most business situations, someone wearing a shirt, tie, and slacks will get a lot more respect than someone wearing jeans and a t-shirt.

I work in a job where I could get away with wearing jeans and a t-shirt. A lot of my time is spent crawling around under people's desks or in the ceilings, trying to get broken network connections working (I'm glad to say I had nothing to do with the wiring in this building, so I can blame someone else. Instead, I wear nice (non-stained, non-faded, non-ripped) jeans and a button down shirt. I get a lot more respect from management than some of my co-workers do.

Now, "mismatched shoes and belt" is a little overboard, and no-one around here would notice, but overall appearance makes a big difference.

Correct

[tacokill]

Correct. The IRS requires your withholdings from bonuses be at the maximum tax rate and not your "normal" tax withholdings. If I recall right, that would be 42% of your bonus will be withheld for fed taxes. I assume everyone here knows the difference between withholdings and the actual tax amount you pay...

So, in real terms, it is 6 one way and half a dozen the other. ie: there is no benefit one way or the other.

You just have to wait until you file taxes to get that "extra withholdings" back. But you do get some back (assuming your tax rate is less than 42%). They do this to make sure people don't get some large bonus, go spend it, and then not be able to pay the tax on that bonus when it is due next April 15th. Makes sense but I, personally, don't like giving the government interest free loans so I tend to offset my bonus withholdings by decreasing the withholdings on my monthly paycheck.

Re:Why would I even want to be in the Boardroom

[digitig]

That list was written by a hack journo with no intent to reflect anyone's real world attitudes and every intent of boosting ad impressions by getting it posted to Slashdot and Reddit.

No, it does reflect real world attitudes. A few years ago I got a haircut and started wearing a suit to work, and suddenly started getting promotions (I don't work there any more, by the way, and don't have enough hair left to be worth cutting). They may not be attitudes we like, but they're real-world attitudes.

Re:Why would I even want to be in the Boardroom

[sm62704]

I know a girl who is a big time tax nerd.. natural born bureaucrat, wildly successful.. wears a lot of suits.

You have a funny idea of what a "nerd" is. What, exactly, is your definition of a nerd? I never met a nerd bureaucrat, or a tax nerd, or a nerd who wore lots of suits.

My definitions come from the traditional places you find out what things are.
The dictionary says: [reference.com]

nerd also nurd (nûrd) Pronunciation Key
n. Slang
1. A foolish, inept, or unattractive person.
2. A person who is single-minded or accomplished in scientific or technical pursuits but is felt to be socially inept.

nerd'y adj.

Word History: The word nerd, undefined but illustrated, first appeared in 1950 in Dr. Seuss's If I Ran the Zoo: "And then, just to show them, I'll sail to Ka-Troo And Bring Back an It-Kutch a Preep and a Proo A Nerkle a Nerd and a Seersucker, too!" (The nerd is a small humanoid creature looking comically angry, like a thin, cross Chester A. Arthur.) Nerd next appears, with a gloss, in the February 10, 1957, issue of the Glasgow, Scotland, Sunday Mail in a regular column entitled "ABC for SQUARES": "Nerd--a square, any explanation needed?" Many of the terms defined in this "ABC" are unmistakable Americanisms, such as hep, ick, and jazzy, as is the gloss "square," the current meaning of nerd. The third appearance of nerd in print is back in the United States in 1970 in Current Slang: "Nurd [sic], someone with objectionable habits or traits.... An uninteresting person, a 'dud.'" Authorities disagree on whether the two nerds--Dr. Seuss's small creature and the teenage slang term in the Glasgow Sunday Mail--are the same word. Some experts claim there is no semantic connection and the identity of the words is fortuitous. Others maintain that Dr. Seuss is the true originator of nerd and that the word nerd ("comically unpleasant creature") was picked up by the five- and six-year-olds of 1950 and passed on to their older siblings, who by 1957, as teenagers, had restricted and specified the meaning to the most comically obnoxious creature of their own class, a "square."

Note that the protagonist in that book, the one who ran the zoo that had a nerd in it, was named after me two years before I was born! Yay me!

Wikipedia says [wikipedia.org] before talking about the mcgrew nerd again:

Nerd is a term often bearing a derogatory connotation or stereotype, that refers to a person who passionately pursues intellectual activities, esoteric knowledge, or other obscure interests that are age inappropriate rather than engaging in more social or popular activities. Therefore, a nerd is often excluded from physical activity and considered a loner by peers.

And finally, my favirite reference, the Uncyclopedia [uncyclopedia.org]. Its entry was surely written by a nerd, as it has Mr. T at the very top of the page:

I PITY THE FOO' THAT DOESN'T FIX THIS CRAP!"
Someone help this sucka of a page by rewriting it.
And make it drink its milk too. Only then can it join The A-Team

Whoops! Maybe you were looking for HowTo:Get Laid?

"Roses are #FF0000, Violets are #0000FF, All my base are belong to you!"
~ Some Male Nerd on How to pick up female nerds

"Lemme in through ur tunnel frm de undrgrond, aka ur C drive :P, alrite, l8r."
~ An Average Male Nerd on How to pick up your nerdy friends computers

"In Soviet Russia, nerds hate YOU!!"
~ Russian reversal on nerds

A nerd (homo intelligencia, floro sapiens, virginus nerdius, or "homo supa smarcia") is a member of an odd species known for its love of 'puters, bad fashion sense, and inability to communicate with members of the opposite sex. While some lucky individuals are born nerds, the rest of us have to make an effort to evolve into nerds.

All of these fine scholarly references have more, except that lameass dictionary.

-mcgrew (if I ran slashdot...)

Bzzzt...sorry - your accounting is screwing you

[Overzeetop]

Bonuses are taxed just like all other income. Taxes are determined by taking your compensation amount and multiplying it by (1/period over which that pay is earned) to get an effective annual rate. If your bonus comes through on your paycheck in a 2 week period, it gets taxes as if you're making that totalx26, and taxes are taken accordingly. If your accounting department was nice, they'd take your quarterly bonus and enter the payperiod as the 3 months, which would then be multiplied by 4 to get the "equivalent" annual rate.

Of course, it's somewhat moot, as it's all made even at tax filing time, but I'd rather have the money now and owe a couple extra dollars next April than get $1000 tax refund.

Re:Black Suits Are the Real Faux Pas

[Anonymous Coward]

simple navy, charcoal, or sharkskin suit will do much to set you apart from bland tasteless masses that insist on only wearing black.

I'd extend that even further.

Provided that you have sufficient funds for more than one suit (and at $250 including tailoring for a cheap suit, it should be too much of a problem), the black suit should be worn only at funerals.

Job interviews require a navy, dark brown, or dark grey suit -- navy is best, and the preferred material is a light wool. A very subtle pinstripe is good, and can be a way of adding "flare" within the requirements of a formal business environment. Note that a dark grey suit can also be used as your funeral suit.

Sir, This is entirely your opinion which reflects your taste, which you are of course entitled to, but I think you should frame it as such and not as an absolute fact as you did. I work in IT at Goldman Sachs in NYC, and just got through a round of interviews with potential college interns, and I really really dislike navy suits. Something about them just screams 1987 to me, and you will have to overcome this dislike.

My recommendation is that you stick w/ the charcoal grey. Pinstripes fine, but if you are going to go out on a limb, ensure that you look good. If you don't wear suits every day or are in an environment where people do, I highly recommend you stick to the basics- what you think looks really sharp may really offend someone on the other side of the desk.

What Not To Wear?

[Amilianna]

So, in reading the "dos and do nots" of the list, I was struck by how many of them the TLC show "What Not To Wear" addressed very differently. Many of the fashion no-nos on this list are merely dependent on the rest of your outfit. Shoes and belt don't match? Not really that big of a problem, as long as your overall color scheme fits in - ie if you want to wear a brown belt with black shoes, then you should pick out a shirt and pants that are also in the brown/black spectrum so the entire outfit flows. Want to wear short sleeves and a tie? Go a bit "preppy" and throw a sweater-vest over the top. It is all in how you pull the look together, not in how well you follow the "rules" of fashion.

Incidentally, both my fashion and my husbands (who is a programmer) have improved by leaps and bounds from watching this show. It helps teach you little tricks to make an outfit presentable and how not to make it look awful so that you can make a good impression. For those unfamiliar with the show, they take someone who is seriously fashion-challenged (and just seeing some of the faux pas that these people commit might make you realize that your own pigtails are not so serious an infraction) and nominated by friends and family to New York for a week long fashion-therapy session. They go through the person's entire wardrobe and toss out anything that is too small, too large, stained, ripped or just in general poorly suited for the person's body and then give them $5,000 and teach them what kind of colors/shapes would look best on them. Then they let them go shopping in the city for two days and get an entirely new wardrobe (supervised, of course, to help them break bad fashion habits). Then they get their hair done and skin care (for the men)/makeup (for the girls) and show off their new look. The amazing thing is how they manage to make everyone feel really good about themselves - they tell you that you dress poorly, but the whole time they're building up your self-esteem about your body and self and encouraging you to show what a great person you are and to show off all the good things about your body with your clothes. It's pretty amazing to watch the people's transformations as they realize how good they look with just little changes to their wardrobes.

Gods, now I sound like a commercial! But, anyway, I think that this list oversimplifies the issue - which isn't that you should follow these rules, but that you should in general take care of and pay attention to the impression you are giving off with your attire and personal hygiene. And if you need a little help with the wardrobe part, maybe watching the show on TLC would help.

Re:Hawaiian Shirts

[Anonymous Coward]

Yup, it's not as loud. There are a few varieties of Aloha shirts. Here's an example: http://www.toririchard.com/index.asp [toririchard.com]

I also checked Quiksilver and they don't have any Aloha shirts on their web site. Even the Tori Richards site does have too much of what you would see in a local store.

Re:Why would I even want to be in the Boardroom

[geekgirlandrea]

The closest I could come to any of those is working on growing my hair long enough to make cute pigtails. Well, do t-shirts that say things like "R'Lyeh is for Lovers" [1] or "Gothnix: nice boot, wanna fsck?" count as better or worse than a band t-shirt?

My present personal style involves:

• Long flowing black skirt, or shorter skirt, often with black and white stripey tights, during warmer weather
• T-shirt with something inscrutable to normals on it
• Big stompy combat boots
• Hair dyed non-standard color

Somehow I don't think I'm quite what the author of that article would have thought of as 'management material', but all the other developers here seems to be doing jeans and a more generic t-shirt, so I consider myself the best-dressed person in the office. :)

[1] Yes, I know Innsmouth or Y'ha-nthlei would make more sense, but I couldn't find one that said that.

Re:Who needs that, anyway?

[Amilianna]

It seems to me then that the type of girl who is interested in how much money you make (and whether or not you spend it on expensive status symbols ie shoes) is just your type of girl. I hope you find one.

You may feel I'm in the minority, but there is plenty of "normal" girls (or even geek girls) who are neither the 'nature girls' nor trailer trash - who, by the way, care the MOST about whether or not you make enough money, incidentally. These are girls who don't feel that they are super-model pretty, who don't go out of their way to be gold diggers and who are just your average girl-next-door type. We might want our guys to look good, but whether or not they have enough money to buy expensive status symbols (and, in correlation, will spend tons of money on us) isn't really relevant. We mostly want a guy who will pay attention to us without his checkbook and someone we can get along with.

And to say that all a guy is interested in is a woman's body is, I feel, grossly unfair to every guy I know. Yes, the first thought thorough anyone's head when they see an attractive person is sexual, but that doesn't mean that everyone is always only thinking about sex. It also doesn't mean that every guy out there is a slave to his penis and can't even think well enough to contemplate an actual relationship with someone. That's a bs excuse that too many guys hide behind - your penis isn't the master in the relationship, no matter how badly you want sex. Want to know how I know this? Because, even if you are so hard up you think you might go blind and you're on your 20th bottle of lotion this week, there are still some girls you just wouldn't even consider touching. This means that your brain is in drive, and you can't weasel your way out with that old excuse. To me, it's just as bs as girls saying they get to behave like total hellions during "that time of the month". It's bs - your uncomfortable and feel crappy, fine, but you are choosing to act the way you are acting so just own up to it and stop trying to find some excuse that lets you off the hook.

I have known many guys who aren't even interested in one-night stands because they want a meaningful relationship first. I've known guys who have turned down pretty girls because they just didn't have anything in common with them enough to warrant a relationship (which is what the girl wanted). Just because you seem to have this cynical view on sex and don't care where you put your penis doesn't mean you get to generalize for your sex.