Iron Man's New Villain — an Open Source Terrorist 361
An anonymous reader writes "In a recent interview on Comic Book Resources about his new continuation of the Marvel comic-book series 'Invincible Iron Man,' Matt Faction provides information about the the new series (debut will be May 7). The villain is Ezekiel Stane, son of Obadiah Stane (the villain of the new Iron Man movie opening on May 2). Whereas Obadiah was a ruthless billionaire who fought as the Iron Monger, Zeke 'rejects the strategies of his father as being the crude tactics of Attila the Hun.' Instead, he will be 'a post-national business man and kind of an open source ideological terrorist.' As the author puts it, 'Windows wants to be on every computer desktop in the world, but Linux and Stane want to destroy the desktop.' The concept has gone over well on the CBR forums."
In related news (Score:5, Funny)
OpenSourceTerroristMan and his sidekick... (Score:5, Funny)
He will share global economy to it's knees!
His nefarious plan of... sharing stuff, has to be stopped!
Re:People! Not everything is terrorism! (Score:5, Funny)
Juh? (Score:5, Funny)
What part of that sentence did I understand?
Re:Open Source Terrorism? (Score:5, Funny)
Re:People! Not everything is terrorism! (Score:2, Funny)
BTW:
"Drink someone's milkshake? Terrorism."
You're my new hero for that one.
Mod parent down (Score:3, Funny)
Re:People! Not everything is terrorism! (Score:5, Funny)
Don't you remember? 9/11 changed everything! If you break the law you are a terrorist because using the police to respond to your crime takes manpower and resources away from fighting terrorism. And if that doesn't convince you then it is obvious that *you* are trying to obstruct the fight against terrorism by not fully supporting every policy of the government.
So stop hating freedom, terrorist.
Re:Juh? (Score:3, Funny)
The victims are forced onto the consultant treadmill and pay ever-increasing amounts of cash to Stane and his company.
The plan is almost perfect!
Wow (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Muhahahaha (Score:5, Funny)
Re:People! Not everything is terrorism! (Score:3, Funny)
I drink your milkshake! I DRINK IT UP!! For great justice!
We already have that (Score:5, Funny)
Some Villain (Score:5, Funny)
"We're going to provide Linux free of charge to anyone! MUHAHAHAHA!"
"Beware my open source laser! Powered by the distilled tears of Microsoft execs, it will cut you out of vendor lock-in!"
Or better, Stark teams up with Microsoft to combat the 'threat', then, during a battle as Iron Man powers up his blaster, the HUD flashes..
WinIRON.sys
The driver is attempting to access memory beyond the end of the
allocation.
Stop: 0x000000D6
(0x89781000, 0x00000000, 0xBF82683F, 0x00000000)
WinIRON.sys address BF82683F base at BF80000
Re:People! Not everything is terrorism! (Score:3, Funny)
Ava?
Re:Open Source Terrorism? (Score:5, Funny)
Re:People! Not everything is terrorism! (Score:5, Funny)
That does sound like something that an over-zealous open source activist might say.
Re:Wow (Score:1, Funny)
Re:We already have that (Score:5, Funny)
In a theoretically infinite universe, there are theoretically infinite objects that could be considered brains. If I only didn't have one brain, then that means I have all but one of the infinite brains out there, which would imply, at the very least, that I would be much, much smarter than you.
Where did you get that sig anyway? Some insult from some online forum?
(Mods, this is the entertainment section. There's no great need to be strictly on-topic, right?
Don't let your children watch or read crap (Score:3, Funny)
Re:People! Not everything is terrorism! (Score:5, Funny)
Re:OpenSourceTerroristMan and his sidekick... (Score:5, Funny)
The Open Sourceror: Wants the whole world to be covered by the GPL. Has a Shield of Arrogance labeled "RTFM" that can absorb the damage of any attack and turn it into a blast of pure rejection. Can use his package manager to quickly construct mostly-working devices for everything. Thinks the Free Initiative are his best friends.
The Free Initiative: Don't want to be called "Freedom Initiative" because they don't want freedom, they want Free-as-in-freedom. Insist that there's a big difference. Hate the Open Sourceror, the non-Free world and each other, because they can't agree which variant of the BSD licence they want to put the world under.
The Consultant: Sent by IBM manufacturer, the Consultant wears a heavy mechanized armor called the Z System. His goal is to destroy the world (except for IBM) and replace it with a virtual clone running on IBM mainframes. Attacks by throwing blade servers with deadly precision. Has the mysterious ability to drain cash from people's wallets at frightening speed.
Sunray: Sent by Sun, this combatant lugs around a 500 liter canister of Java on his back, which e constantly drinks from by means of a straw. Insists that the caffeine in the Java makes him slower, despite the fact that he can barely move with the canister on his back. Has a on-again-off-again alliance with the Open Sourceror.
Emmessdeeann: This mysterious alien was hired by Microsoft to ensure that every single person on the planet has a valid licence for every product Microsoft manufactures, plans to manufacture at some point or doesn't manufacture but wish they did. Has a Cash Launcher, which suffocates his enemies under wads of Dollar bills, then sets them alight. Also has a Crash Launcher, which causes his power armor to shut down until a service techician can fix it. Unfortunately, both are built into the same weapon. Insists on ending each sentence with ".NET" instead of a full stop. Has a son and a daughter, both called "hWnd".
Google: Omnipresent and omniscient. Insist they aren't doing actual evil while using thir vast archive of footage of illegal activities to blackmail everyone into looking at their context-sensitive ads. Even though they are targetting the entire population of the planet, nobody could yet topple their "we only target evil people" argument.
Re:People! Not everything is terrorism! (Score:2, Funny)
Apart from that, some PETA (and similar) raids have been depicted as terrorism...
Re:Open Source Terrorism? (Score:5, Funny)
Re:People! Not everything is terrorism! (Score:5, Funny)
Re:People! Not everything is terrorism! (Score:5, Funny)
Fights over shared source and free open source ter (Score:3, Funny)
Blueprints are available on how to setup your own organization. Crash courses in setting up your own cell, free formats to document the cell meeting minutes, open and verifiable systems to elect cell and organization leaders, recommended lingo to hide intentions (although open, the message encryption works but people are left guessing as to what you are conspiring about.)
However, a small but significant part is missing. There's no plan for the rocket. The base is there, the logistics, the whole organization, but no rocket. So reluctantly UNA uses rockets manufactured by evil corporations that do not allow you to modify them and only ause death and destruction with a very inferior sense of style.
Until one day a youngster from South-Jemen comes that desperately needs a rocket but is highly disappointed by the commodity but closed source rockets. So he boldly builds one himself and calls it Afred (he himself is called Alfred.) And he starts deploying it for his own purpose but uses the available UNA blueprints.
Before you know everyone is using Afred for the daily terrorism fix.
Then the FTF founder quite rightly points out that a missile launching compound consists of many more things than a missile. The missile is a vital part and without it no devastation takes place. However, one should not underestimate the infrastructure provided by UNA.
Compounds should not be referred to as Afred because that would not give sufficient credit to the FTF. Instead a more appropriate name is UNA/Afred. AT least so says the Saint of the Church of UNA, St. Ignitius (I bless thee missile.)
Re:People! Not everything is terrorism! (Score:5, Funny)
Re:People! Not everything is terrorism! (Score:2, Funny)
Re:People! Not everything is terrorism! (Score:3, Funny)
Editors! (Score:3, Funny)
Re:People! Not everything is terrorism! (Score:3, Funny)
Delta Force came before those, while Harrison Ford was between jobs galaxy hopping as a smuggler and finding lost biblical icons. Bruce Willis was just a petty Private Eye.
Re:Juh? (Score:2, Funny)
Blackadder: Why only half way?
Baldrick: Well, he steals from the rich, but he hasn't got round to giving it to the poor yet.
Re:People! Not everything is terrorism! (Score:5, Funny)
His response was "Because 9/11 changed everything"
Re:People! Not everything is terrorism! (Score:3, Funny)
What a (sic) joke!
--
Toro
Open source man! (Score:3, Funny)
Doin' the things that copyleft can,
What's he like? It's not important.
open source man.
Is he a geek, or is he a terrorist?
When he's on the internet does he distribute himself?
Or does the internet distribute him instead?
Nobody knows, open source man.
Iron man, Iron man.
Iron man hates open source man.
They have a fight, iron wins.
Iron man.
Re:Open Source Terrorism? (Score:4, Funny)
Oohhh you meant "instructions for making" rather than "ingredients. Never mind.
Re:People! Not everything is terrorism! (Score:3, Funny)
NetBSD... just like my toaster [wikipedia.org].