Stand-Up Comic Makes Science Funny 126
Hugh Pickens writes "The San Fransisco Chronicle is running a story about Brian Malow, a stand-up comedian who has showcased his science-centric stand-up humor for more than a decade in comedy clubs, at conventions and for corporate clients across the country. Fortunately, club patrons don't need a degree in quantum mechanics to appreciate one-liners like 'I used to be an astronomer, but I got stuck on the day shift,' 'I just started reading, "The Origin of Species." Don't tell me how it ends!' or that he 'attended a magnet school for bipolar students.' While his show is very rational and based on hard science, Malow cleverly infuses it with an abstract or surreal comic twist."
Hugh Pickens continues: "Like observing that whenever his mother would lose weight, his father would gain weight, and then linking the two by a fundamental law of nature. 'It was like the Conservation of Mass within our family,' says Malow, adding that 'fat can neither be created nor destroyed.' Last year Malow performed for colleagues at NASA's Jet Propulsion Lab in Pasadena. 'We found his humor delightfully nerdy, and he fitted right in,' said Kevin Grazier, who is a planetary scientist and author. 'It's one thing to make people laugh when they're sitting in a darkened club room, with a few drinks in them. It takes real talent to be funny in the afternoon, in a work environment.' Malow's interest in science and nature also extends to his passion for insects, with Web site InsectPaparazzi, and he has even discovered a species of fly. 'Of course, I found it in Golden Gate Park,' he says. 'So it may have just been a tourist.'"
A neutron walked into a bar and asked (Score:5, Funny)
"How much for a drink?"
The bartender replied, "For you, no charge."
Re:A neutron walked into a bar and asked (Score:5, Funny)
The proton replied: "I'm positive."
Yup, a career in standup is definitely in the cards for me.
So.. (Score:4, Funny)
Is this comedian unionized?
Nope, he's just really positive. :P
Re:A neutron walked into a bar and asked (Score:3, Funny)
Fitted? (Score:2, Funny)
Ugh, really? It's hard to keep feeling superior to the artsies when other scientists are using words like 'fitted' in this context.
Re:A neutron walked into a bar and asked (Score:3, Funny)
Don't tell me how it ends! (Score:5, Funny)
'I just started reading, "The Origin of Species." Don't tell me how it ends!
Turns out the zebra did it.
Re:Here's a funny joke (Score:3, Funny)
Why did the mathematician... (Score:5, Funny)
Q: Why did the mathematician have complex numbers on his telephone?
So he could call all his imaginary friends.
Re:A neutron walked into a bar and asked (Score:5, Funny)
Here's one I made up a while ago:
Fluoride says to oxygen "You're always so negative."
Oxygen says: "How ionic that you would say that."
Getting out of a speeding ticket (Score:5, Funny)
Whenever I've gotten a speeding ticket, I've thought about arguing with the Judge that the cop was lying on the ticket. He noted both where I was and how fast I was going, and since he can only measure one of those things, he's clearly lying about the other.
Re:Don't tell me how it ends! (Score:5, Funny)
Damn you!
To bring it back to science (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Getting out of a speeding ticket (Score:5, Funny)
There's an old joke about a guy who got a ticket for running a red light. He argued in court that the Doppler Shift made the light appear green.
The judge agreed with him that the original ticked was no good, and then fined him... for speeding.
Math Joke anyone? (Score:4, Funny)
Remember, Math and alcohol don't mix. Please don't drink and derive!
Quantum Physics (Score:5, Funny)
A: Wait, I can explain Everything! It's not what it looks like!
Re:The C Programming Disease (Score:2, Funny)
My company is devoted to abandoning C, and we write device drivers in pure Java. We are also working on an operating system, codenamed "pleasework", coded from the ground up in java - we already have a GUI and everything, and are now just getting the BIOS and bootstrapping code to work, where we seem to have some trouble. Sadly, my company will be filing for chapter 11 bankruptcy pretty soon, and truth be known none of our Java device drivers have worked, and our OS team members keep leaving, saying the project is "impossible", although some tell me to use JNI, which is nothing but C again.
If things don't get better, I'll have to start another company, maybe this time writing drivers in Perl, but I completely agree - C should never be used, not in userland apps, drivers, operating systems, bootstrappers, or anything.
</sarcasm>
Re:A neutron walked into a bar and asked (Score:5, Funny)
Re: discovering a species of fly (Score:5, Funny)
Re:So, he's less funny than Bill Nye? (Score:3, Funny)
Re:A neutron walked into a bar and asked (Score:5, Funny)
Bartender asked, "Would you like a drink?"
"I think not!" exclaimed Descartes, and disappeared.
Re:I hope the jokes get better... (Score:3, Funny)
Sometimes it's cringe-inducing. But I liked Sheldon's variation on rock/paper/scissors. To make it more interesting there were five choices, the two additional being lizard and Spock. For example, lizard poisons Spock; Spock disproves paper; etc.
Re: discovering a species of fly (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Check the logs (Score:1, Funny)
It takes real talent to be funny in the afternoon, in a work environment.
I disagree. Slashdotters submit hilarious stuff from "work" most afternoons.
I agree, and they get modded Insightful!
oblig. geek stand-up comedy: The Nerd Porn Auteur (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Hah! (Score:4, Funny)
Hey, I was an frickin' art major and I know that that magnets have poles.
Re:A neutron walked into a bar and asked (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Getting out of a speeding ticket (Score:4, Funny)
A speeding ticket for going 207,520,611 kph?! But this whole area is zoned as a hyperspace express route! That's way below the speed limit. And the maximum will be even higher when they finally get rid of that big rock in the way, I imagine.
What's this judge up to, I wonder...
Re:I hope the jokes get better... (Score:4, Funny)
Re:I hope the jokes get better... (Score:3, Funny)