Spammers Say the Darndest Things 115
The Narrative Fallacy writes "Bill Sweetman has a tongue-in-cheek post about how a few years ago he started collecting some of the more outlandish and amusing email subject lines from the many thousands of spam emails he received promoting various 'solutions' related to his private parts. Sweetman, a Canadian internet marketeer now working for Tucows gets a guilty pleasure from the copywriting 'skills' of the spammers. 'Sometimes the writing is clever. Sometimes it is accidentally funny. And sometimes it's just plain bizarre.' Sweetman writes that it takes a certain twisted creative genius to make your spam message stand out from the rest. and gives us ten of his favorite spam subject lines as well as his would-be replies to the messages. Favorites spam subject lines include 'Small friend is for hiding, big friend is for showing off' and Sweetman's reply: 'Even if the product they are pitching works as promised, I still don't think I would be walking around the neighborhood showing off the results.'"
Re:"Men will see your power in every public shower (Score:3, Informative)
In case you don't want to go bother and look, the others are pretty funny:
1. "Small friend is for hiding, big friend is for showing off."
Even if the product they are pitching works as promised, I still don't think I would be walking around the neighbourhood showing off the results.
2. "The hard friend in your pants will look up into the sky."
Thanks, but I would prefer it if my friends stayed out of my pants.
3. "Men will see your power in every public shower."
If they did, wouldn't I be arrested?
4. "Who doesn't love a big gun in the pants."
Isn't that what holsters are for?
5. "Make your love torpedo drive all the way to her tanker."
Maybe I missed that SexEd class, but I'm not entirely clear on where I would find a woman's tanker.
6. "Transform from a grass snake to a python."
Have you ever seen a python? Ick!
7. "Make your man's carrot grow."
What the heck are they selling, fertilizer?
8. "To the stars your manhood flies when you are happy with your size."
This writer's a poet and they don't even know it.
9. "We can make your man's volcano erupt like a famous Etna!"
Lava. Fire. Smoke. Thanks, but I can do without those in the bedroom.
10. "Put your doughnut in her oven."
If my 'thing' looks like a doughnut, I should see a doctor.