Ball And Chain To Force Children To Study

You haven't tried everything to get your kids to study until you've tried the Study Ball. The Study Ball is a 21-pound prison-style device that locks onto your child's leg and only unlocks after a predetermined amount of study time has passed. The homework manacles can't be locked for more than four hours, and come with a safety key. The product website states, "Quite often, students who are having problems concentrating tend to get up every ten minutes to watch TV, talk on the phone, take something out of the fridge, and a long list of other distractions. Were they to dedicate all this wasted time to studying, they would optimise their performance and have more free time available. Study Ball helps you study more and more efficiently." Stop Teasing Your Brother Pepper Spray coming soon.

Phew!

[thewils]

For a moment there I thought you were talking about the old trouble and strife!

I could use this...

[scubamage]

...to help me study for my CCNP exam. I keep finding ways to get distracted by more exciting material (squirrels, birds, my girlfriend, my rabbit, watching grass grow...)

Re:Laughably Medieval

[Tablizer]

Make the act of studying have a negative association with it in the child's mind. That way when they depend on themselves to learn things later in life, they'll be reminded of your horrible freedom inhibiting imprisonment technique.

Wouldn't the biological alternative, "parents", also trigger such an effect?
       

The House is on Fire!!!

[alta]

Everybody RUN!

1 hours later...
Fireman: WTF do you mean your child had a ball and chain strapped to their leg?!
Retarded Parent: It was to help them study, and it was easily heavy enough for them to lift.
Fireman: But it got stuck under the table because of the panic and now your child is a crispy critter.
Policeman: Sir, please put your hands behind your back.

Heh, no I'm not some liberal pansy that doesn't believe in doing things that are harsh. I just don't care for stupid. If my kids dont' study I beat them with the ball and chain, not strap them to it!

Little do they know...

[pwnies]

Ball and chains are my fetish, and good luck trying to get it to stop me from alt+tabbing to my cowboy neal porn.

Where's the foot icon?

[erroneus]

It just needs a slight modification is all!

Re:Laughably Medieval

[Presto Vivace]

Does child protective services know about this?

For any kid stuck with this

[dkleinsc]

Use your pickaxe to dig a pit in the floor, drag the ball into the pit, and push a boulder into the pit.

Oh, wait, real life doesn't work quite like Nethack.

Re:Bathroom breaks?

[nizo]

Luckily it comes with a matching chamberpot.

Re:Further uses

[BobMcD]

As evidenced by your post, no.

HA!

Whats with parents?

[Volda]

Have you ever tried simply turning off the TV? Sitting down with your children? And hitting them?

Will no one say it?

[frovingslosh]

Do not taunt happy fun ball and chain.

Comment removed

[account_deleted]

Comment removed based on user account deletion

Off the cuff

[rumblin'rabbit]

And what, prey tell, is wrong with the good ol' fashion genital cuffs? I know water boarding is the "in" thing these days, but there's no reason to abandon traditional methods when they work just fine.

I was raised on the cuffs, and my scholastic performance was excellent, thank you very much.

Re:Laughably Medieval

[Fujisawa Sensei]

I've never met a person who was a PHD, or who had straight A's that didn't have a personality disorder of some kind. Something has to be wrong with anyone who would be willing to put up with that much bs for that many years for almost no reason at all. It says something about your priorities.

So? I've never met a person who didn't have a personality disorder of some sort.

Re:I could use this...

[Anonymous Coward]

If it weren't for the mention of a Cisco cert, I would have been puzzled by the placement of squirrels before girlfriend...

I hate kids :-)

[Quiet_Desperation]

I wholeheartedly endorse this product.

Re:Laughably Medieval

[Anonymous Coward]

no no no the BS comes many years before the PHD...

Re:Laughably Medieval

[Chris Burke]

So? I've never met a person who didn't have a personality disorder of some sort.

Hm, interesting. So if personality disorders are, as a class, normal, and a "disorder" is by definition something functioning abnormally, then would this not mean that psychologists should recognize Lack of Personality Disorder Disorder?

Treatment for this disorder would be quite straightforward, though the ethics of giving someone Post Traumatic Stress Disorder to cure their Lack of Personality Disorder Disorder are questionable.

Re:Laughably Medieval

[The Grim Reefer2]

Is it just me, or does the attached digital timer make it look like something Wile E. Coyote would blow himself up with while falling off of a cliff?

Re:Laughably Medieval

[JCSoRocks]

So? I've never met a person.

*posted from my cave*

Re:Laughably Medieval

[bitt3n]

I can corroborate the GP post. I owe my Nobel Prize to my mother's constant beatings. While I received it for work in particle physics, these days she appears to be whipping me more in the direction of string theory.

Re:Laughably Medieval

[bitt3n]

as my wife and I were unable to conceive, we adopted a monkey instead. I spanked my monkey daily, often with her enthusiastic participation, and even now I swell with pride at the thought of the fine upstanding citizen he has become.

Re:Whats with parents?

[steveo777]

With or without the ball and chain?

I'm confused here.

Re:Laughably Medieval

[Fujisawa Sensei]

So? I've never met a person who didn't have a personality disorder of some sort.

Mmmm, try leaving slashdot

I have. The disorders are worse.

Re:Laughably Medieval

[mishehu]

Hmmm... Is this thing manufactured by the infamous ACME company?

Well, there's the Lack of Personality Disorder

[jlowery]

These are the people commonly referred to as Engineers.

Re:Laughably Medieval

[kohaku]

I always thought it was "Bull Sh*t, More Sh*t, Piled Higher & Deeper"