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Sophos Releases Klingon Language Version 94

Posted by ScuttleMonkey
from the a-for-effort dept.
Bantu1 writes to mention an attention grab by anti-virus company Sophos, which is now offering a Klingon language version of their popular anti-virus software. Now Qo'nos too can be completely safe from the storm. If only we could see a Sophos logo in the next Paramount endeavor, the cycle would be complete.
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Sophos Releases Klingon Language Version

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  • by Akido37 (1473009) on Monday May 18, 2009 @04:57PM (#28002999)
    wtf?
  • Tribbles!!! (Score:4, Informative)

    by Raistlin77 (754120) on Monday May 18, 2009 @04:58PM (#28003005)

    "Use Sophos's Klingon Anti-Virus to quickly perform an on-demand scan and find viruses, spyware, adware, zero-day threats, Betazoid sub-ether porn diallers and Tribbles that your existing protection might have missed. The software can be run without deactivating your current anti-virus software. Phasers can be left set to stun."

    Haha!

    • Here I was thinking that tribbles would be fairly evident in the presence of a klingon and wouldn't require a scan to find.
    • by HTH NE1 (675604)

      "Use Sophos's Klingon Anti-Virus to quickly perform an on-demand scan and find... Tribbles that your existing protection might have missed.

      I breed my own Glommers to keep my home Tribble-free.

  • Klingon Linux distro (Score:4, Interesting)

    by Spy Handler (822350) on Monday May 18, 2009 @04:59PM (#28003019) Homepage Journal

    I would've thought the first major software with Klingon support would've been a Linux distro.

    Or is there already such a thing...?

    • by Raistlin77 (754120) on Monday May 18, 2009 @05:01PM (#28003071)
      See http://www.lanana.org/docs/unicode/unicode.txt [lanana.org] - scroll down to "Klingon language support"...
      • by tlhIngan (30335)

        See http://www.lanana.org/docs/unicode/unicode.txt [lanana.org] - scroll down to "Klingon language support"...

        Alas, Klingon did not make it into the Unicode script - it was proposed (and there's a copy of the proposal to give it Unicode codepoints for it), but in the end, it didn't get approved...

        I'm not sure what's at those codepoints that were proposed, but maybe if enough people just start using them, we can unofficially make it part of a extended Unicode standard?

        • by belmolis (702863)

          'm not sure what's at those codepoints that were proposed, but maybe if enough people just start using them, we can unofficially make it part of a extended Unicode standard?

          No, that's the wrong approach. Creating a conflict with Unicode Consortium decisions will just be inconvenient for people and make the Consortium mad. The right approach is to encode Klingon in the Private Use Area. This has already been done. The encoding is registered at the Conscript Registry [evertype.com]. The Klingon range is F8D0-F8FF [evertype.com]. James K

    • Well yes, of course

      Ubuntu 8.10, you can get it here:
      http://klingbuntu.wizage.net/

    • by eggfoolr (999317)

      Why would the Klingons use such a geeky OS as Linux? I'm pretty sure they're using the more warrior like operating environment, IBM System 3.

      Why they need anti-virus for M$, I have no idea. Maybe it's integrated in their transporter?

      • Re: (Score:3, Funny)

        by realnrh (1298639)
        Klingons have a fondness for Windows because they hear it has lots of COM-BAT files.
    • I would've thought the first major software with Klingon support would've been a Linux distro.

      "The kill button takes up most of the screen!"

    • by mysidia (191772)

      Been there done that, if you look at the Languages menu in Mac OS X, you will find " tlhIngan Hol"

      Also, there is a package [ubuntu.com] for Ubuntu.

  • Ahem. (Score:5, Funny)

    by Anonymous Coward on Monday May 18, 2009 @05:00PM (#28003037)
    What pitiful Klingon would need anti-virus protection? A true warrior relishes at the opportunity to die the perfect death at the hands of Canadian Pharmacy pop-ups.

    Where can I find this dishonored warrior?
  • I must have missed that memo in the latest newsletter they send me every other day.
  • Should be be happy or offended that Sophos assumes Klingons use Windows and not Linux or Mac OS X?
  • Heard in the HQ (Score:5, Interesting)

    by Randseed (132501) on Monday May 18, 2009 @05:10PM (#28003205)
    "This virus has no honor! You dishonorable top'aQ! Defend yourself!"
  • as long as there are no rights of ascension or duels to the death involved (though I'd love to see a bat'leth fight....more over...just love to say the word "bat'leth").

    u know...maybe that's why there are lots of viruses out in the world....if there were Klingons who would slay you if you were to write a virus and it f's up their computers...well...that should be the best deterrent if any.
    just imagine the thought of a bat'leth gutting them would discourage a lot of virus writers (at least the scriptkiddies

  • I almost feel sorry for them....

    With all the 'your using our IP' cry baby-ness going on, I'm sure lawyers will be sending them take down requests in droves.

    There is at least one story every day on ./ about some corporation whining and threatening about things like this. :(

    Maybe that is why they didn't fully finish the page.... ;P :Quote:
    Why did we translate it into Klingon?
    Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit. Duis consequat odio vel risus fermentum at hendrerit sapien malesuada.

  • Why? (Score:4, Insightful)

    by jez9999 (618189) on Monday May 18, 2009 @05:44PM (#28003629) Homepage Journal

    From the webpage:

    Why did we translate it into Klingon?
    <Need some blurb here> Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit. Duis consequat odio vel risus fermentum at hendrerit sapien malesuada. </end blurb>

    I'm guessing that's Klingon for 'God fucking knows'.

    • by Locke2005 (849178)
      Why did we translate it into Klingon?

      Fortunately, there is a musical answer to that question: here [youtube.com]
    • by j_ham3 (917669)
      Also, did you notice the header? The web page isn't finished.

      $Header: index.html,v 1.2 2009/05/08 14:53:14 james Web page status: Draft 0.8. Req action: Mktg to review wording and imagery (better screenshots required etc..), and QA to check links. Expected launch datehttp://entertainment.slashdot.org/article.pl?sid=09/05/18/2018218#: July 2009. Software status: Ready. $

    • They figured it'd be a better use of their time than, you know, actually writing a virus scanning engine that doesn't suck and take half your CPU.

    • by Trecares (416205)

      That's not Klingon. It looks like Latin. Plugged it into a online translator, but only got a partial translation.

      Trecares

  • by BobMcD (601576) on Monday May 18, 2009 @05:58PM (#28003777)

    Betazoid sub-ether porn diallers

    Why am I so ashamed - to admit that this sounds pretty hot?

    • by powerlord (28156)

      New from the Alpha Quadrant:

      Betazoids Gone Wild!!!!

      Just what goes on at those Betazoid Weddings?

      We bring the cameras and you get to see!

      Its like you're actually participating in the joining ceremony and seeing just WHAT all the fuss is about!

      If you like the holo-recording do nothing, and another installment will appear on your PAD next month, cancel at any time.

      Betazoids Gone WILD!!!

      Act now and reserve for your free copy of: "When Founders Attack!" Newly recorded in the Gamma Quadrant!

    • by adavies42 (746183)

      Betazoid sub-ether porn diallers

      Why am I so ashamed - to admit that this sounds pretty hot?

      should i be ashamed or proud that the first thing it brought to my mind was "that's a continuity error--sub-ether is hitchhiker's guide technobabble!"?

      • No, it's not "sub-ether", it's "sub-etha". Jeez, if you're going to nerd out about something, at least be correct about it. Kind of defeats the purpose of nerdiness otherwise.
  • Can't Paramount sue them for the money they will make off of the four copies they sell (plus damages)?

  • Oh crap! (Score:3, Funny)

    by KneelBeforeZod (1527235) on Monday May 18, 2009 @06:03PM (#28003845)
    We've DECLOAKED!!! If only we had used anti-virus software. Noooooo!!! *kaboom*
  • ERROR (Score:2, Funny)

    by Tablizer (95088)


    ERROR: maximum geekativity threshold reached. Product STOPPED.

  • Google search has an interface in:

    Elmer Fudd (Google seawch for those wascaly wabbits)

    Hacker (aka 13375p34k)

    Klingon

    Bork Bork Bork (I don't even know what that is)

  • by MobileTatsu-NJG (946591) on Monday May 18, 2009 @06:29PM (#28004147)

    Bantu1 writes to mention an attention grab by anti-virus company Sophos who is now offering a Klingon language version of their popular anti-virus software.

    First time I've seen an anti-virus company release a birth control product!

  • I am not joking when i say this. Until about a year ago I actually thought that klingon was some programming language. Only learned what it was when I heard people talk about the star trek film and mentioned the word. Asked them what it was and boy was I surprised. I really felt like a an idiot.
    • by cptnapalm (120276)

      I presume that you have handed in your slashdot account resignation?

    • by Nazlfrag (1035012)

      No, you're thinking of Var'aq [esolangs.org].

      • by gintoki (1439845)
        That might have been the root of the confusion. But I don't think that I have ever heard of Var'aq. Now more to the point...are you serious? There is actually a programming language that works with a fake made up language?
        • by Nazlfrag (1035012)

          Browse some more at esolangs.org, and just imagine the pointless creativity has some sane, rational basis even though it doesn't.

  • Product Placement (Score:3, Interesting)

    by isorox (205688) on Monday May 18, 2009 @07:25PM (#28004733) Homepage Journal

    If only we could see a Sophos logo in the next Paramount endeavor, the cycle would be complete.

    After having Kirk with a nokia mobile phone [memory-alpha.org], and drinking Budweiser [memory-alpha.org], I fully expect Uhura will be running emails from the Klingons through her Sophos package in the next film.

    • by realnrh (1298639)
      That brings up a thought. If he had been driving a Kia with a built-in Nokia, would the two have cancelled out and left him just zooming along by himself?
  • Mozilla wants to kill tabbed browsing, The Hard Drive Is Inside The Computer, and now Sophos in Klingon? Is 19 May a significant day I wasn't previously aware of? Second Fools Day or something?

  • When is Rosetta Stone going to include Klingon?
    I'd actually give it a shot if they did.

  • from http://www.sophos.com/klingon-anti-virus/ [sophos.com] $Header: index.html,v 1.2 2009/05/08 14:53:14 james Web page status: Draft 0.8. Req action: Mktg to review wording and imagery (better screenshots required etc..), and QA to check links. Expected launch date: July 2009. Software status: Ready. $
  • Check out the release notes, and the source code for the page for more comedy. I wish other sites had hidden back-talk between the developers :)
  • Sophos:"We have detected a viral anomaly in disk sector 1A10BC"

    Me:"Captain, We have detected a viral anomaly in disk sector 1A10BC?"

    Sophos (grudgingly):"Captain, We have detected a viral anomaly in disk sector 1A10BC"

    Me:"What are you waiting for? Go kill them!"

    Sophos (indignantly):"I don't kill viruses, I jail them"

    Me:"Huh. Some goddamn Klingon you are!"

Never test for an error condition you don't know how to handle. -- Steinbach

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