Avatar, Has Sci-fi Found Its Heaven's Gate? 443
brumgrunt writes "Den Of Geek wonders if James Cameron's Avatar is heading for a fall, and if it will even be a science fiction film, off the back of the previews shown last week. It writes: 'It seems in Avatar that all this gee-whiz science is merely there to draw the "old crowd" in and provide some kind of rationale for a brightly-coloured fantasy-world which reflects the most emetic of the artwork plastered over teenage girls' MySpace pages.'"
Heaven's Gate? (Score:4, Funny)
Uhhh...the movie is supposed to convince people to dress in identical black shirts and sweat pants, brand new black-and-white Nike Windrunner athletic shoes, and armband patches reading "Avatar Away Team" before committing suicide by mixing barbituates with vodka and plastic bags?
If Rocky Horror Picture Show didn't induce that type of cult-like following -- though it was damn close -- I have a hard time imagining Avatar will.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Heaven's_Gate_(religious_group) [wikipedia.org]
Re:My nominee for (Score:3, Funny)
And, may I add, perfectly...
The word you're looking for here is "Cromulent" [reference.com]
Re:Avatar first-impression: (Score:5, Funny)
>third-rate fantasy masturbatory session for furries and other WoW-playing losers.
Err, you do know youre posting on slashdot, right?
The Last Airbender Bending Rodriguez (Score:2, Funny)
I mean, it's based on the fantasy TV show of the same name that's on Nick, right?
Only if "Air Bender" is a new ball shoe endorsed by a Futurama character.
Re:Yes, it looks like crap (Score:5, Funny)
For a moment there I read this comment as "No one wants to see tall blue Elvis Ewoks", and I was about to argue most vehemently that that's exactly what I do want to see in a movie.
Re:Story? (Score:5, Funny)
Yeah, I don't understand the Heaven's Gate reference. Are the developers going to commit mass suicide?
Re:Puhlease! (Score:3, Funny)
We can repair the body, or build a new body, but the brain has given up and thinks that the fixed or new body is still broken.
And we can't fix brains, we just know how to move them. It's like you fucking nerds installing a CPU. You don't know shit about how it works, and you could never fucking make one - you just know how to plug it in.
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At least that's the shitty argument the fucking furries will throw at you.
Re:Only On Slashdot (Score:4, Funny)
If you've ever seen the size of a pile of elephant dung, you'd understand why people marvel that he used elephant dung.
I mean, just look at the size [team-bhp.com] of the toilet that is needed!
Re:Yes, it looks like crap (Score:5, Funny)
"No one wants to see tall blue Elvish Ewoks."
For a moment there I read this comment as "No one wants to see tall blue Elvis Ewoks", and I was about to argue most vehemently that that's exactly what I do want to see in a movie.
Naked tall blue Elvis Ewoks.
Oh, God, I just wrote "Watchmen II"
Re:Based off the director's own words... (Score:4, Funny)
This looks like Dances with Wolves in Space
I want this movie to succeed only so that it may have a Broadway adaptation and then later become a traveling figure skating exhibit. I mean, who wouldn't want to see "River Dances with Wolves in Space on Ice?"
Re:Avatar first-impression: (Score:5, Funny)
I once knew an "airbender". We called him "The Last Windbreaker". He claimed it had something to do with enzymes, and digestion. The breakdown of vegetable material in the greater intestine was mentioned.
As far as first impressions? He didn't make a good one - let's leave it at that.
Re:Puhlease! (Score:5, Funny)
They even tried the Main Deflector Dish, but the spinal capacitance field blocked it.
Re:Avatar first-impression: (Score:4, Funny)
That was my first impression as well. It doesn't do much to convince me that the movie will be legitimate science-fiction, rather than fluffy science-fantasy, when the aliens are bright anime-blue with giant cartoon doe-eyes.
And me thinking it was a furry kill fest. A chance to see those pests killed by the thousands by mechs and mowed down by machine guns while they moaned pitifully, waving their little bows and orangina bottles and fluttering those big eyelids before being crushed by gigantic robotic armored suits.
I too would have waited 10 or 15 years to get it just right. To get the fur to ripple just so as the metal squashes it into the mud.
And I was so eager to see it too... I'm so disappointed.
Re:Avatar first-impression: (Score:3, Funny)
Actually the mech wasn't the badguy, the humans running it just accidentally let out the bad guy by cutting up the tree he was magically imprisoned in.
What, why are you all looking at me like that?
Re:Based off the director's own words... (Score:3, Funny)
Wouldn't that be "Suffocates Wolves"?
Re:Avatar will suck. For sure. (Score:5, Funny)
I was watching Matrix Reloaded last night and I realized that they probably won't make movies like that again.
And that's a bad thing because...?
Re:"and if it will even be a science fiction film" (Score:3, Funny)
This "Avatar" is unrelated to that one. Needless to say, I was still rather confused.
Even more so, here.
I've been playing old school (Pre-EA) Ultima, where every third schmo on the street greets you with something along the lines of:
"Avatar, you must save my son from the daemons!"
"Avatar, seek out the rune of Compassion!"
"Avatar, have you seen my daughter that I left in a tree stump last week?"
...So I understandably mis-parsed the article title "Avatar, Has Sci-fi Found Its Heaven's Gate?"
Re:Story? (Score:4, Funny)
At least they saved money by using an installed-by-default font in the logo.
That's only for the sneak preview- they're using Comic Sans for the final release.
Re:Story? (Score:3, Funny)
Sci-fi? (Score:2, Funny)
OK, lets review what we've seen so far.
Spaceships? Check.
Mech-suits? Check.
Aliens? Check.
How could Avatar possibly be considered sci-fi...
Re:Story? (Score:2, Funny)
"I complain on forums about video games that I haven't even played!"
Sweet... you post on the SW: TOR forums too?