Terminator Franchise To Be Auctioned Off 256
Posted
by
ScuttleMonkey
from the i'll-be-back-in-syndication dept.
from the i'll-be-back-in-syndication dept.
"For sale: One slightly-used Terminator. Still works, minor attitude problems, get it cheap now!' Several sources are reporting that the Terminator franchise is set to be auctioned off just three weeks after another well known franchise, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, was sold for $60 million. The present owner, Halcyon, has filed for chapter 11 after a dispute with a hedge fund that lent Halcyon the money to buy the rights to begin with. The auction will include rights to everything but the first two films.
First two films? (Score:5, Funny)
Does the state of California come with it? (Score:5, Funny)
...or do you have to buy the governator separately?
Re:I bid $1 (Score:5, Funny)
Well... (Score:4, Funny)
Re:Worthless (Score:4, Funny)
Hey, I am sure someone wants to buy Howard the Duck!
The scene at a garage sale... (Score:5, Funny)
(Crowd of people walking around in the front yard of a surburban house, looking at various bits of household junk)
Customer: (Looking around) Oh hey, what's this? It looks like some sort of oversized metal action figure!
Homeowner: That's a robot we've had down in the basement for a couple years now. Has an interesting history. Supposedly, it was thrown together by an unknown, but obviously brilliant computer scientist [wikipedia.org] as a work project. Shame about what happened to him.
Supposedly after he'd finished building the thing, it got loose. There was this shotgun toting psycho of a woman [wikipedia.org] who the police found raving and screaming about how it was trying to murder her and her kid [wikipedia.org]. The police had a hell of a time taking her into custody; they've kept her sedated and locked up in a padded cell ever since.
Customer: Sounds like an amazing story! How much do you want for it?
Homeowner: (Slowly, pausing) $60 million.
Customer: WHAT?! But anyway...if anyone was even going to remotely consider paying that kind of money for it, it'd need to be able to do something beyond awesome! So give me a demonstration! How do I turn it on?
(Finds an old car battery and some jumper cables nearby, as other items for sale)
Hey, this'd work!
Homeowner: I'm not sure that's such a good idea...
Customer: It looks like just a kid's toy! Except a bit bigger of course. I'm sure it's perfectly safe!
(Applies cables to battery and T800, causing an explosion of sparks. The T800 rises up slowly from its' previous sitting position, its' eyes beginning to glow red)
Homeowner: ...
Re:Whedon in the bidding (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Does the state of California come with it? (Score:4, Funny)
Actually, I think you inherit California's debt. That is why Halcyon had to file for chapter 11.
Wow. They're desperate to balance the budget. (Score:2, Funny)
California is even auctioning off their governor. Their budget problems must be really bad.
My humble offer (Score:2, Funny)
I would like to purchase your rights to the Terminator franchise. I hereto offer you two full and unused pockets full lint and or little bits of string. I feel that having seen the last set of movies, this is more than a fair bid. I'm willing to throw in up too, but not exceeding, one full fist full of dryer lint as a good faith payment.
Sincerely yours, Groggnrath (a devoted sci-fi fan).
Re:Whedon in the bidding (Score:4, Funny)
Re:First two films excluded... (Score:5, Funny)
...some of us are sure that there are only three Indy films.
Wait a second, there ARE only three Indy films. Why do you mention that fact like it's some sort of controversy? But I can understand how people could get confused. Lead actors occasionally play other roles.
I do remember the MacGyver spinoff that Harrison Ford starred in, "crystal head" or something. I understand that some people think that had something to do with the Jones franchise, since Ford was the lead character in all the Indy films.
But that's just confusion on their part, same as someone thinking that there was more than one "Die Hard" movie just because Willis starred in some other flicks, or that there are more than three Star Wars movies.
PS: I'm not sure what they are selling off. There are really two Terminator films.
Maybe they are trying to sell off "Summer Glau Show" off as part of the Terminator franchise (in which, if I could understand the plot, has something to do with her being a Terminator. I'm not entirely sure, though, because people keep blathering and getting on screen and sometimes blocking a clear view of her.) If so, that show can come back. Keep her and the mom, drop the young dude who appears to be Anakin Skywalker as a kid or something (boy genius who whines a lot about some destiny). Might sell a few ads on an off night and pay for itself if they don't try to spend too much time developing a cohesive plot or special effects that aren't wardrobe-related.
Re:Does the state of California come with it? (Score:5, Funny)
First of all I just want to make sure you
understand that California's economy isn't
controlled by the governor. The legislature
killed off any hopes of a balanced budget.
You were obviously making a joke at the expense
of the state of California. but it was just
unfunny and shitty.
Sincerely,
Arnold Schwarzenegger.
Re:Worthless (Score:5, Funny)
Hey, I am sure someone wants to buy Howard the Duck!
With any luck, it will be Tyson Foods.
Re:Everything but the first two films? (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Does the state of California come with it? (Score:5, Funny)
You know, I read that as a joke at first. And then I looked at your username and thought to myself... what wouldArnold pick?
Re:First two films? (Score:4, Funny)
The fourth wasn't bad.
I think you misspelled "the fourth one was the most franchise-destroying, poorly-written, poorly-directed, poorly-acted, absolute failure of a film of all time, and McG should have committed ritual suicide in a futile attempt to atone for his sins." It's an easy mistake to make.
Re:First two films? (Score:4, Funny)
Re:First two films? (Score:5, Funny)
the Terminator in it wasn't really likable (T1's was an unstoppable killing machine; T2's was an unstoppable killing machine with a heart of gold; T3's was just a dick)
Actually, the one thing T3's didn't have was a dick.
Re:First two films? (Score:3, Funny)
The keys are, like, right next to each other.
Re:First two films? (Score:4, Funny)
I know where he's confused.
They made two movies and then a TV series.
Re:First two films? (Score:3, Funny)
Ha ha! What a kidder. Next thing you'll be telling us is that someone made a sequel to the original Highlander movie!
The Mainframe in the front row bids... (Score:2, Funny)
We further promise not to use said knowledge for malevolent purposes.
Sincerely,
Skynet News Corp.