Southwest Declares Kevin Smith Too Fat To Fly 940
theodp writes "Kevin Smith is not a happy Southwest customer. The director was thrown off a flight from Oakland to Burbank, after being deemed too fat to fly. He later wound up on another Southwest flight, but has declared It's On and taken his rants to Twitter. 'Dear @SouthwestAir — I know I'm fat, but was Captain Leysath really justified in throwing me off a flight for which I was already seated?' he began. He also let the airline know he'd made it to his destination. 'Hey @SouthwestAir! I've landed in Burbank. Don't worry: wall of the plane was opened & I was airlifted out while Richard Simmons supervised.'"
Before the dust settles (Score:5, Funny)
I'll bet Southwest will wish he really was Silent Bob.
Re:That's what you get (Score:3, Funny)
Your words disgust me. Not only because they are not true, but some people just have big bones.
All the best,
Me
I think this is probably wrong and demented...... (Score:4, Funny)
Re:News for Nerds, Stuff that Matters (Score:5, Funny)
I still think its awesome, but let's keep this next celebrity rivalry off of slashdot. Slashdot didn't cover trump vs o'donnel, and it doesn't cover paris hilton, so while Kevin Smith is a nerd celeb, let's not report on every twitter update in this matter? Mmmkay?
It's an excuse for a massive flamewar between the obese nerds munching on pizza and the excessively skinny nerds sucking down sugar-free caffeine drinks. Anything to take our minds off the fact that it is February 14th again and Natalie Portman still hasn't turned up at our door covered in hot grits and bearing a court order reversing the previous decision and allowing us to communicate with her again.... sigh.....
Re:Welp, that's it (Score:5, Funny)
Do you even know who this guy is? He isn't THAT big.
Are you referring to his weight or his career?
Just measure before boarding. (Score:3, Funny)
Here's what really happened ... (Score:5, Funny)
Here's what really happened.
The pilot, a registered Republican, woke up from his nap (pilots cat-nap as much as they can because of the new budget-saving schedules), saw the guy, and mistook him for Michael Moore.
Re:SWA is aware, dealing w/ it (Score:2, Funny)
Southwest Airlines was aware of the situation last night, and is working to remedy it. Nothing to see here, move along rubber neckers. From @SouthwestAir:
I've read the tweets all night from @thatkevinsmith - He'll be getting a call at home from our Customer Relations VP tonight.
So why is this posted as a story on /.?
Because a lot of /.'er are Kevin Smith fans, and fat?
(ducks and prepares to lose her Karma)
Re:Welp, that's it (Score:5, Funny)
They do. They're called doors.
Re:Before the dust settles (Score:5, Funny)
Twitter: "For people too fat to fly or type more than 140 characters."
Re:I have translated it to KG (Score:1, Funny)
Though from your contemptuous tone I'm guessing you're one of those few people who DOESN'T try to accomodate people in armchairs or blind people.
Ahem....
Re:Welp, that's it (Score:5, Funny)
Romanes eunt domus!
Re:FFS! (Score:2, Funny)
Re:I have sat next to these guys. (Score:3, Funny)
This will take quite some time to take off.
*snicker*
Re:SWA is aware, dealing w/ it (Score:3, Funny)
(ducks and prepares to lose her Karma)
Fishing for a /. Valentine, are we? :)
Re:Does this mean.... (Score:1, Funny)
Aparently he's some fat guy.
Re:And my 6 years old son takes 1/5th of the gas (Score:2, Funny)
What if the fat bastard tries to eat your kid?
Re:Welp, that's it (Score:3, Funny)
What's all this then?
People called Romanes, they go, the house?
Re:Welp, that's it (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Yuh Huh (Score:5, Funny)
This is what elbows are for. You'd be amazed how much smaller some people become after the eighth 'Sorry, was that you?'
Re:Welp, that's it (Score:4, Funny)
Of course it's about overflow, and those of us who take care not to be grossly fat fucks shouldn't have to be victims of the hambeast in the next seat.
No sympathy here. If you don't fit an airline seat, cargo net your fat disgusting ass to a pallet and go air freight.
Re:And my 6 years old son takes 1/5th of the gas (Score:5, Funny)
What if the fat bastard tries to eat your kid?
Then he would have to pay extra on the food portion of his ticket. And your kid would get a corresponding discount.
Re:That's what you get (Score:1, Funny)
...and some people are just assholes ...
Fat assholes!
Re:Welp, that's it (Score:4, Funny)
Let me introduce you to Mr. Procrustes.
Re:Welp, that's it (Score:5, Funny)
Seat packing (Score:3, Funny)
I'm having terrible visions of ticket agents playing Tetris to figure out whether or not a plane is overbooked. One of them calls out over the airport public address system: "Is there a tall skinny person who wants to fly to Dallas? I need a tall skinny person!"
Re:Welp, that's it (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Welp, that's it (Score:5, Funny)
... and now for something completely different!
You awake to find yourself on a Southwest flight out of Oakland. It is pitch black.
You are likely to the eaten by Kevin Smith.
Re:Before the dust settles (Score:3, Funny)
No, they just ran out of Capital Letters to make Various Departments and Policies sound More Official.
Re:Customer of Size? (Score:1, Funny)
The politically correct term is 'calorically challenged.'
Re:I have sat next to these guys. (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Customer of Size? (Score:4, Funny)
"and does this mean fat people have a larger carbon footprint???"
No. Just deeper.
Re:Yuh Huh (Score:3, Funny)
I once boarded a multi-hour flight only to find that I was ticketed as the middle seat amid several rows of men travelling together to a weight lifting competition. These guys could put the armrests down, but physically couldn't put their arms down at their sides. I had elbows in my face the whole way. I tried starting a fight but they wouldn't take me seriously.
Re:That's what you get (Score:2, Funny)
Only one??
Couchslug? (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Southwest Airlines "Customer of Size" Q&A (Score:1, Funny)
But they also said "within the confines of the seat". So you have a guy who normally takes two seats, he's managed to somehow squish himself into one but I imagine he was overflowing into the next (it's amazing how flabby these people get) and the stewardess had to call him on it. Tough for him but I bet the passenger next to him was very, very happy.
That's pure speculation. You don't know the details and neither do I. Maybe he was comfortably seated and the pilot just broke up with his fat wife?
Re:I think this is probably wrong and demented.... (Score:3, Funny)
Southwest: the airline whose fanboys make those of Apple seem like intelligent, rational adults.