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Star Wars Prequels Movies Entertainment

Episode I 3D Release Date Announced 313

Posted by Unknown Lamer
from the ruining-your-childhood-in-3d dept.
TheBrakShow writes 'Lucasfilm Ltd. and Twentieth Century Fox announced today that the 3D theatrical launch of Star Wars: Episode I The Phantom Menace now has an official release date — February 10, 2012!' Are enough fans interested in watching the weakest films of the trilogy again just to experience them in 3D?"
I for one am looking forward to a new and improved Jar Jar experience.
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Episode I 3D Release Date Announced

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  • by elrous0 (869638) * on Friday March 04, 2011 @05:21PM (#35384054)

    It would be an interesting debate to have on what is the WORST part of The Phantom Menace. Jar Jar? That little kid who couldn't act and was thrown into laughably implausible situations (like a bad straight-to-DVD Disney movie where NASCAR lets an 8-year old join the circuit just because the movie's called "The NASCAR Kid")? The introduction of Mitaclorians, which pretty much undermined everything Yoda taught Luke in Empire? The creepy child molester vibe Queen Amadalia was giving off talking to the aforementioned non-acting little kid?

    I'm going to go with the fact that they brought Ewan McGregor, Liam Neeson, and Samuel Jackson into this godawful shitfest--actual talented actors with long resumes of much better films. It was like watching your favorite aunt get raped for 2 hours. No amount of overpriced popcorn could make that any better.

    But now I get to see her raped in 3D, and pay twice as much for the privilege. Look Aunt Wanda, we get to keep the glasses! Awesome.

    • It was like watching your favorite aunt get raped for 2 hours.

          Yes, it's exactly and precisely like that.

           

    • Re: (Score:3, Insightful)

      by jgtg32a (1173373)
      Jar Jar could have been a decent character if during the raid he stopped being a completely worthless and became a useful fighter. Preferably with some variant of capoeira, or some sort of flashy fighting style (from how we walks it seems like it would be something he would do).
      Yes he's the goofy comic relief and that is fine, but the bigger problem was he was worthless and provided nothing else.
      • Lucas is recasting Ashton Kutcher in the role as a romantic interest for Queen Amidala.

    • by asn (4418) on Friday March 04, 2011 @05:51PM (#35384418) Homepage

      It was like watching your favorite aunt get raped for 2 hours. No amount of overpriced popcorn could make that any better.

      So that would be a thumbs down?

    • by lul_wat (1623489) on Friday March 04, 2011 @05:55PM (#35384474)
      If you havn't already, I highly recommend RedLetterMedias free youtube reviews of Episode I, II, & III. Each review is nearly as long as the movie and tears them a new asshole.
      • by Duradin (1261418)

        Have some towels handy for when your ears start bleeding. If there's one thing that's more annoying than Jar Jar, it's Mr. I-Wanna-Be-Buffalo-Bill.

    • by jbezorg (1263978)

      This pretty much sums up my feelings on the franchise.

      http://video.adultswim.com/robot-chicken/luke-learns-the-truth.html [adultswim.com]

    • by khallow (566160) on Friday March 04, 2011 @07:03PM (#35385116)
      I think the best part was that this movie was never made. I repeat NEVER MADE.
  • Hahaha (Score:4, Informative)

    by tripleevenfall (1990004) on Friday March 04, 2011 @05:22PM (#35384056)
    Meesa call moneygrab!
  • I feel a... (Score:5, Funny)

    by Sponge Bath (413667) on Friday March 04, 2011 @05:24PM (#35384076)
    ...lack of disturbance in the force, as if millions of people yawned in disinterest.
  • by MrEricSir (398214) on Friday March 04, 2011 @05:24PM (#35384082) Homepage

    Too bad technology can't improve acting and dialog, because that's the real reason Star Wars I, II and III are forever stuck in the second dimension.

    • "...Star Wars I, II and III are forever stuck in the second dimension."

      Ignignokt: Here on the moon, our film making is far more advanced.
      Err: Yeah, Jar Jar sucks!

    • by UnknowingFool (672806) on Friday March 04, 2011 @05:48PM (#35384392)
      To be fair many of the actors have done great work before and after the prequels. I just don't think that they could do much with a bad plot and bad dialogue. RedLetterMedia's critique of the movies brought a great point: There is no protagonist in any of the films. All three were a loose collection of characters. While having a single character as the central character isn't always necessary, it generally works better in some plots. Robert Altman's films do well without a central character but his movies focus much more on storylines and plot.
      • by gambino21 (809810) on Friday March 04, 2011 @07:15PM (#35385228)

        I think the RedLetterMedia/Plinkett Reviews [redlettermedia.com] are the best thing the come out of the Star Wars prequel trilogy. I found the review to be much more entertaining and higher quality than the films themselves.

      • by Grishnakh (216268)

        I think there's more to it than that. Good actors don't act in a vacuum, they work with the director to bring out the best in them. A good director is able to bring out great acting in a good actor, and a lousy director will make a great actor seem like a hack. Lucas is a terrible director. From what I've read, Lucas never did multiple takes of any scene with dialog, he just wanted the actors to spit their lines out and that was that; he just didn't care about the acting quality at all, he just wanted t

  • by Roger W Moore (538166) on Friday March 04, 2011 @05:25PM (#35384094) Journal
    Who wants to see one dimensional characters in 3D?
  • The Horse is dead, you can stop beating upon its carcass.

    • by click2005 (921437) *

      When all you have is horse bones you either retire and live of the millions you already made or sell horse nuggets.

      • by Nadaka (224565)

        No, you carve the horse bones into crossbow bolts to train your hunter before switching him over to marksdwarf.

    • Re:Horse (Score:4, Funny)

      by ddd0004 (1984672) on Friday March 04, 2011 @05:41PM (#35384296)

      They are gonna keep trying to bleed those films dry as long as the return is positive. It's kinda fun to see how far they'll take it as long as you don't spend any of your own money on it. I predict that the final release before they put this to bed will be the uber-enhanced ultra-digital 3D edition with unseen footage, enhanced audio, product placement (the Jawas will be selling droids with a marlboro red hanging off their lower lip, eating cheetos and wearing Nikes), and a special audio commentary by Jar Jar across all 6 episodes.

    • The Horse is dead, you can stop beating upon its carcass.

      Agreed. However, Lucas keeps reanimating it into ZombieHorse. We have no choice but to pound it into a greasy pulp or let it devour our brains.

    • I think he's HUMPING the dead horse... Really George, what have you done LATELY?

  • Go (Score:2, Insightful)

    by Edzor (744072)
    Go fuck yourself George.
  • "I for one am looking forward to a new and improved Jar Jar experience." -- FOOMP

    Read this dilbert strip to understand... [dilbert.com]

  • by Mick R (932337) on Friday March 04, 2011 @05:27PM (#35384114)
    poking out one eye just so I CAN'T EVER see that in 3D!
  • GL releases a "new" version of these movies every few years to get money from the fans and they keep paying. next there will be another blu ray release with 3d and digital copy when he could have done it for the upcoming 2011 release

    • by corbettw (214229)

      After Portman's performance in Black Swan, I fully expect GL to come out with a new version with a digitally-inserted Mila Kunis as one of Padme's handmaidens...including a shower scene.

      I'll be in my bunk.

  • by Fnkmaster (89084) on Friday March 04, 2011 @05:29PM (#35384142)

    I've never heard of this "Phantom Menace" thing before. I'm sure if George Lucas was behind it, it must be humorous, entertaining and dramatic, with characters we can identify with for generations to come, just like the Star Wars trilogy we all loved as kids!

    I'm so glad that somebody with the integrity of George Lucas is responsible for shepherding this loveable trilogy through the years. That way I can introduce these movies to my own children without having to worry about somebody coming along and pooping all over the memories of my childhood. You know, the temptation to edit or re-issue movies to capitalize on their enduring success might be quite extreme, but George is one of those guys who knows when to say "it was good enough 30 years ago, let's not mess with a good thing".

    A lesser man might have, for example, decided to edit away some of the age-inappropriate roguishness of Han Solo in an effort to merchandize schlocky toys to kids. But not George, no.

    I'm not really sure what this whole 3d thing is about though. I'm sure it's a sincere effort to make a genuine artistic statement that just happens to be set in that Star Wars universe we all know and love.

    Thank god for George Lucas.

    • by elrous0 (869638) *

      Truly, he's as wise as he is unselfish.

    • by UnknowingFool (672806) on Friday March 04, 2011 @06:47PM (#35385004)

      The main problem with George in the prequels was that he was writer, director, and producer. He served different roles in the original trilogy but he was never all three. For prequels, no one had the authority or balls to tell George that his movie sucked.

      For example, the storylines were needlessly complicated. Maybe in George's mind complicated meant complex but in reality the more complicated, the greater chance of a plot hole. Take for example the virgin birth of Anakin. That really served no purpose. His father could have died in mining accident, a burglary attempt, solar storm; any of those would be far simpler and easier to handle.

      For me it's like George created artificial conflicts and constructs so that he could exploit later as plot devices. But someone on the outside might have pointed logical flaws. Remember how Anakin missed his mother and how her later death would trigger his descent? That wouldn't have worked had the Jedi council or Queen Amidala returned to Tatooine and freed his mother. Cause if I was Yoda and sensed all this fear in the chosen one over his mother, I would make sure his mother was okay.

  • Weakest of the three? Perhaps, but the competition is strong!

    • by 0123456 (636235)

      Personally I'd rather watch Phantom Menace again than whatever the third one is called. But I definitely won't be rushing out to watch it in 3D.

  • Will it suck 1.5 times more? Is that even possible?

    Patton Oswalt said it best: "If I had a time machine, I would go back to around 1993 or 1994 and kill George Lucas with a shovel."
  • OK, I am going to kill whatever goodwill (and karma) I may have had with these statements:

    * I actually liked Jar Jar Binks -- he was the not so bright, but well-meaning, comic sidekick
    * I think Jake Lloyd performed much better than Hayden Christensen
    * I think the chemistry between Natalie Portman and Hayden Christensen was as hot as the chemistry between gold and nitrogen at 0 Kelvin
    * I do not think that Anakin's shift from good to evil is very convincing

    But no matter what, the movies are not worth a
    • by Homburg (213427)

      I would think only the first of these would be particularly controversial. Jake Lloyd was an averagely annoying child-actor, while Hayden Christensen was a complete black-whole of charisma, removing any possibility of drama from any scene he was in; this explains the third and fourth point, too, although I think the script has to take a fair amount of blame for them, too ("You're smooth, not like sand").

  • by Crash McBang (551190) on Friday March 04, 2011 @05:39PM (#35384266)

    Is a 3-dimensional projection of a 2-dimensional movie with 1-dimensional acting.

    mmmm, can't wait....

  • The only room for improvement here is to reduce the scenes with this thing to a minimum. I can only remember one really funny scene, when Qui-Gon grabs his tongue during the meal with Anakin's family. Maybe there are one or two more, but besides that, JJB is just a plain annoyance that makes the movie even worse than it would have been without it.

    C3PO was mostly funny, so they knew how to do it right. Why did they screw it up so much with that unfunny and annoying creature?

  • $15+ a ticket + $5 popcorn + $4 pop = no way!

    • No one is requiring you to get the popcorn or pop.

      Admittedly, no one is requiring you to get the ticket either, but even if you did, you wouldn't be required to get the rest.

      (Me, even if they paid me $20 they couldn't get me to go the movie.)

    • by Duradin (1261418)

      Popcorn and pop aren't compulsory.

      You should try a movie without them sometime, it's much better without those distractions.

    • $4 pop

      its called a "Soda".

  • by c.r.o.c.o (123083) on Friday March 04, 2011 @05:39PM (#35384284)

    And the first one is Episode IV.

  • For the record... (Score:5, Insightful)

    by GodfatherofSoul (174979) on Friday March 04, 2011 @05:41PM (#35384308)

    I thought Attack of the Clones was by far the weakest:

    ESB
    RotJ
    SW
    TPM
    RotS
    ...
    Care Bears the Movie
    Sex and the City
    ...
    AotC

    • It's just that nothing happened in it. I've watched all of the prequel movies exactly once (and that was enough), and this is what I remember (not necessarily in chronological order, since the plots were... weak):

      Phantom Menace:
      - The senate quacked about something
      - The Naboo queen went through space, was attacked, thwarted the attackers with her super shiny ships
      - Strangely unemotional little kid is sold to some race driver or something
      - Said kid finds and repairs C3P0 (RETCON)
      - Kid meets JarJar, is nonplus

  • by corbettw (214229)

    I was going to tag this story with the obvious one ("nooooooooo"), but I don't see any tags. Anyone else have this problem?

  • by killmenow (184444) on Friday March 04, 2011 @05:45PM (#35384350)
    I'm so freaking excited about this! I'm actually giddy just thinking about the day this comes out! I cannot wait to stay home and completely ignore it!
  • The beauty of 3D is that the Z axis works both ways. They could take Jar Jar and sink him into the BACKGROUND until he's gone.
    • Too bad audio is not 3D so we still have to hear Jar Jar bitch at full volume from his little speck body.
  • Train wreck in 3D (Score:5, Insightful)

    by Caerdwyn (829058) on Friday March 04, 2011 @05:49PM (#35384398) Journal

    A train wreck in 3D is still a train wreck... it just looks more like you're going to get hit by the caboose.

    Loved Ep. 4, 5, 6. Deeply despised 1. Still haven't seen 2 and 3, as by all indications Lucas still hasn't learned that clowns do not belong on the battlefield (and, in fact, trivialize any sense of heriosm or sacrifice or tragedy present in the non-clowns), Western audiences don't like the idea that galactic domination is genetic, a bad movie with eye candy is still a bad movie, and that sullen teenaged angst is only entertaining to sullen teenagers.

    Will not buy or download.

    • Episode 2 and 3 were much better. Episode 3 actually was decent. George Lucas should redo the first two, but hes too arrogant and greedy.
  • by pak9rabid (1011935) on Friday March 04, 2011 @05:51PM (#35384420)
    The only way I'll watch this is if Natalie Portman reaches out of the screen and gives me a hand job.
  • by jollyreaper (513215) on Friday March 04, 2011 @05:52PM (#35384438)

    To say Phantom was the worst implies the other two were any better.

  • The quality of Episode 1 has been discussed so many times its nearly boring as the film. Lets discuss how bad 3D technology is! I'll start. 30% less colour, ruined focal length and shot clarity. Illusionary pointy things in your face. Headaches. Its bad.
  • Was Episode I not bad enough by itself??? I understand that converting 2D movies to 3D is probably the second worst thing to happen to cinema, but you don't need to combine them! There is no prize for worst movie idea.

  • Aside from being an annoying character - some of you wouldn't realize how annoying many thought C3PO were in the first movie...

    However - it's important to realize that sometimes you have to have the annoying side characters - they make the experience more real. Even real life is full of annoying people in one form or another.

    Then you can look at Jar Jar from another perspective - what he looks like is well within what an alien may look like if we are to encounter them.

  • So this will be the day people will rise up and take power, where we all agree to a little bit less, so everyone can have some and we tear down the walls of our manufactured lives, cause let's be honest: What The Fuck.
  • Perhaps George in his "wisdom" will fuck with this release even more than he did for the re-release of the original trilogy. At the very least redoing the voice overs could improve this movie. Hell, it's hard to imagine that any changes to it could make it worse.

    Uh, never mind. This was the guy that was somehow able to take a series that I enjoyed during my youth and managed to turn it into what feels more like a Deliverance style ass rape'in. Somehow he could make it even worse.

  • by AbRASiON (589899) * on Friday March 04, 2011 @05:56PM (#35384488) Journal

    http://www.google.com.au/search?q=free%20hat%20southpark&hl=en&meta= [google.com.au]
    Free Hat (you NEED to see the episode if you like Star Wars or Indiana Jones)

    "Free Hat" is episode 88 of the animated series South Park. It originally aired on July 10, 2002. The episode ridicules Lucasfilm's digital altering of George Lucas' original Star Wars trilogy and Steven Spielberg's E.T.. The episode also shows huge criticism towards remake movies.

  • by Khopesh (112447) on Friday March 04, 2011 @06:03PM (#35384536) Homepage Journal

    We've got to be only a year or two from realizing that RealD is a dumb gimmick...

    RealD Cinema [wikipedia.org], the technology used in all of these films, uses alternating frequencies of light which get filtered differently by each polarized lens of the glasses it requires. This gives up to two planes of vision at a time, which can move relative to each other. For whatever reason, we are calling this 3D (I'll use the term "biplanar" for the rest of this post). Disclaimer: this is a simplification and I'm sure it's more complicated than that, but I think it hits the point.

    All this biplanar vision is good for is superimposing a flat view of something in front of (or behind) the main action. That's it. I saw Avatar and was impressed by a few scenes (specifically, the captions used in the diary entries ... which were 2D), but it was almost wholly a gimmick; neat trick, but a novelty that faded before the movie finished. Captions and other flat items can add to things, but (in their current state) they do not justify the extra cost or the need to wear sunglasses in a dark theater.

    That's not to say we've exhausted the limits of what biplanar movies can do; I expect explosions and other instantaneous effects can benefit greatly from this; each frame of the explosion moves slightly closer to the audience on the Z-axis, and since it emits like a wave, there is no need to continue to display previous frames in their own dedicated Z coordinate. The same goes for anything opaque that's coming right at you, so long as it has no component that requires a different depth (so a car --or spaceship-- is out because the windshield is farther from you than the fender; turn your head and the perspective shows a 2D image). In fact, the only things I can think of that fit this bill are explosions and other things that move so fast the you don't have time to move and see their flatness plus anything that is so flat it has no depth, like maybe a propeller-driven device whose propeller is so big you can't see anything else, or a wall that the first-person perspective is driving into head-first (though those two examples are pretty lame and limited).

    Re-releasing old hits (a generous term for the Star Wars prequels) won't do much unless you have a fanbase that will buy anything you make (in which you might as well stick with snorting commentary tracks and back-patting featurettes).

    • by vadim_t (324782) on Friday March 04, 2011 @06:36PM (#35384874) Homepage

      Ehh, no.

      Polarized 3D isn't limited to two planes. The polarized filter ensures the left and right image each go to the right eye, and it can look 100% like you look at the world normally.

      The problem is that the perspective doesn't change when you move your head, so when you do it looks like the movie is made of paper cutouts placed at different depths (but still not limited to two). There's also that polarization is sensitive to the angle from which you're viewing the screen.

      For the absolutely best effect you'd need head tracking. Of course the image would have to be rendered in real time. But then you can really create the impression that the monitor has a hole in it through which you're looking at say, a game.

    • RealD Cinema ... gives up to two planes of vision at a time

      No it gives two projections of vision at a time, one for each eye... just like your eyes get from the rest of the world (each eye only sees 2d of course). It can be as 3d as actually being there, except that you cannot change the focus; your eyes always should always be focused on the screen regardless of what is projected. This causes eye strain and perception problems for some people.

      ReadD does have some problems... mostly people who can perceive at 72 Hz or greater will see some flickering, and with mo

    • It's not 'biplanar', it's stereoscopic. I suppose they could use something like what you describe to reconstruct a stereoscopic view of a 2d film, but in practice they are more sophisticated than that. I know you're trying to simplify things, but calling it biplanar is selling it way short.

      Don't get me wrong, I hate just about everything about this 3D fad, I just think you are confused about the implementation.

    • by Ecuador (740021) on Friday March 04, 2011 @10:49PM (#35386386) Homepage

      Wow, you have not understood how 3D cinema works at all. You even invent new terms (biplanar vision), when we are simply using Stereoscopy, a technique known since the 19th century. Your eyes see two different images due to parallax in the real world, and that important part of depth perception is what we try to imitate by feeding a slightly different image to each eye, as if there was a camera where each eye is. Well, guess what, that is not all the depth perception information we use in real life - there is also the focusing that we do that depends on the distance of objects, so each person is "tricked" by Stereoscopy in a different way. That's why we say some people don't "get" 3D.
      As for the technical details, you have mixed things up. RealD does not use alternating frequencies, that is the Dolby 3D method (wavelength multiplexing). RealD is using circular polarization and polarization is not related to the frequency. Then there are the linear polarization methods, like Imax 3D, with the obvious disadvantage that you can't tilt your head sideways or your polarizer glasses won't work. These three systems all "feel" different, for example my wife gets a better 3D effect with Dolby 3D, while I think that it is worse when I move my eyes around and generally prefer Imax 3D but most likely due to the huge screen. Even if each method gives you a bit different effect, if you can't trick your brain into seeing 3D just by using stereopsis, then I guess no system will be useless to you...

  • by fermion (181285) on Friday March 04, 2011 @06:10PM (#35384604) Homepage Journal
    I saw Star Wars when it first came out. I saw the sequels. I saw Star Wats when it was remastered. Seeing the old characters and the new effects was worth the money. There was no point in seeing the other two remastered because, frankly, if you see a new effect once then what is the point. In any case, at least in my mind, Star Wars was the only movie that had any really real humanity. We can all relate to the longing of Luke Skywalker and the the classic cad of Han Solo, without the annoying good side that everyone wants to add. Really it was the additional the Han Solo good side that made me not see the remaining remakes. It was good though that people who wanted to got to see them on the big screen.

    I understood The Phantom Menace to be made for a new generation and therefore had little to do with Star Wars or the sequels. I dutifully went to see them, and the disappointment was less the story than the fact that throwing money at a slew of well known actors would solve the problem. It did not solve any problem in The Empire Strikes Back. The f/x was good, but again they can only go so far. In Return of the Jedi it seemed that there was a new appreciation of a combination of practical and special effects. Not more.

    I think the the fact the prequels are pretty much animated stories with a bit of live acting thrown in will make them a very good 3D experience. Star Wars and the sequels will be less so because of the human element. It will certainly allow the kids who enjoyed the prequels to see them as adults and reflect on the story.

  • I might consider seeing a 2 1/4 hr. condensed version of the first 3 films in 3D. That's 45 minutes per movie, should be more than enough. All dialouge edited out as well. Yoda could do a narrative past tense voice-over as if filling in Luke during his training. "A great pod race he won. Giant fish they did escape. Killed by Darth Maul Gaugin Jin was. Clones they did create. Begun the clone war had. By the emporer betrayed they were. Like a coward ran I hid here until now I have. Train you I shall". Yeah, I
  • by Posting=!Working (197779) on Friday March 04, 2011 @06:16PM (#35384674)

    You haters are missing the point here. Jar Jar in 3D will be awesome! It will give you the opportunity you've been waiting for since Episode 1 first came out. Just bring a knife with you to the theater, and when Jar Jar appears it 3D, you can finally stab him in the face!

    Might want to make sure no one's sitting in front of you, because if they are, you'll have to explain. I mean, they'll completely understand and forgive you, but since it won't look the same from their perspective, they'll probably be mad until you tell them.

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