"World's Most Relaxing Music" Composed

Musical group Marconi Union and Lyz Cooper, the UK's leading therapeutic sound practitioner, have released what they claim is the world's most relaxing music. They contend that the calming effects of "Weightless" are not subjective but are based on scientific evidence. The music was found to cause brainwaves and heart rate to synchronize with the rhythm, reduce blood pressure and lower levels of the stress hormone cortisol. In fact, Scientists played the song to 40 women and found it to be 11% more effective at helping them relax than songs by Enya, Mozart and Coldplay. The eight-minute track is so effective at inducing sleep, motorists have now been warned they should not listen to it while driving.

Wha?

[nman64]

Sorry, I nodded off for a moment there. Not sure if it was the music or the Daily Mail article.

Re:Wha?

[Flipao]

That's a shame you;re missing out, It's really good!, you can almost feel the zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz........

Re:Uh...right

[demonbug]

An 11% improvement in a subjective, multifactorial category like 'relaxation' and they're calling it the World's Best Music for that purpose? Why are we reading this mumbo jumbo, even in idle?

I don't know whose editorial judgment sucks more, samzenpus or Timothy. I'd say samzen just took a major lead for the day, though.

Didn't you see the photo with the guy in a lab coat? It's science.

Reaver breeding

[vaene]

99.9% of the test subjects eventually just stopped working, talking, eating, and moving they were so completely pacified. The other .1% became insanely enraged and started slaughtering, eating, and/or raping the the musicians and producers. So the problem kinda worked itself out.

Re:Wha?

[jitterman]

I'm so out of shape that I can't confirm that I even have a heartbeat. For my activity level, this is dance music.

Re:Not subjective at all

[gsslay]

The Coldplay standard has been well established in the study of coma inducement for some years now.

It's roughly logarithmic. 1 Coldpay is equivalent to the coma induced by band itself. 2 Coldplay is brain stem death induced by prolonged exposure. 3 Coldplay is clinical death. 4 Coldplay is sudden death at a Coldplay concert.

"11% more relaxing" is therefore around 1.05 Coldplay. Will leave you woozy, but you'll be fine after a few cups of coffee and some fresh air.