North Korea Claims Archaeologists Have Found 'Unicorn Lair' In Pyongyang

eldavojohn writes "NPR pointed out a press release claiming that North Korean archaeologists have found a 'unicorn lair' in Pyongyang. The members of the History Institute of the DPRK Academy of Social Sciences have "reconfirmed" that this site was used for King Tongmyong's unicorn where the unicorn would concoct his unicorn schemes and do his unicorn things if anyone ventured too closely. The last line is, perhaps, the most important line of the article, 'The discovery of the unicorn lair, associated with legend about King Tongmyong, proves that Pyongyang was a capital city of Ancient Korea as well as Koguryo Kingdom.' Fear not that North Korea is surpassing the world in cryptozoology, Dr. Melba S. Ketchum of Nacogdoches, TX has claimed to have recently sequenced Bigfoot's DNA and he's part human."

It's retaliation

[Grayhand]

They're just trying to get back at us for The Onion article about the sexiest man alive.

Kim Jong Un-icorn

[Bayoudegradeable]

It's best we just go ahead and surrender now. I for one welcome..... no, no, this goes beyond overlord.... I welcome our unicorn-domesticating superiors and look forward to serving under the yoke of unicornia!! (I admit I got all excited at first thinking they found a lair of uni-porn.... but this isn't bad, either!)

Nuclear Weapons

[guttentag]

This is why poor countries shouldn't develop nuclear weapons. Sooner or later your horses start to look like unicorns.

Re:May I be the first to say

[Anonymous Coward]

I got it in 'Ponies and Unicorns'.

Comment removed

[account_deleted]

Comment removed based on user account deletion

Re:May I be the first to say

[cbiltcliffe]

You must be new here.
The official title of that section is:

OMG!!1!1! PONIES!!!!1!11!!!ONE!!1!

Re:May I be the first to say

[avgjoe62]

Oh good... I hope they bring back M.A.S.H.

Re:May I be the first to say

[Deadstick]

Indeed. If not for the French, we in the States would be speaking English today.

Re:May I be the first to say

[jonadab]

Actually, the unicorn remains were _planted_ in Korea by the NKVD, back in the thirties, as part of a secret joint operation with the US Department of Agriculture. The operation was suspended during WWII and the Korean War, and then before they could get around to completing it the USDA had to pull out (because of the altered political situation in Korea), leaving the MVD to bungle it until the Sino-Soviet Split forced them to finally abandon the effort as well. Nobody trusted China to complete the project, so they were never informed.

The unicorns actually live in the Arctic, but the Russian, Scandinavian, Canadian, and American governments keep that covered up, because if it ever got out it would call the Reindeer Dogma into question.

Re:May I be the first to say

[Anonymous Coward]

Actually, if it were true, and if the unicorn DNA were tested and shown to not be a horse with a dildo strapped to it's head, it would be news.

I'm betting it's just a horse with one of its horns broken off.

Fake because..

[BeCre8iv]

Unicorns are obviously not adapted to live in a lair