J.J. Abrams To Direct Star Wars VII 735
azzkicker writes "It looks like J.J. Abrams will direct Star Wars VII. From the article: 'Sources have confirmed the Star Trek Into Darkness filmmaker will helm the next Star Wars movie, the highly anticipated installment in the landmark franchise scheduled to reach theaters in 2015."
MTV Star Wars! (Score:5, Funny)
Luke, Leia and Han are supercool heroes from a galaxy far, far away. And boy are they full of angst.
The Lens Flare!!! (Score:5, Funny)
1 Word (Score:5, Funny)
"KAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHNNNN!"
(and this text goes in here because slashdot hates 1 word answers, even when they're totally awesome.)
Re:MTV Star Wars! (Score:5, Funny)
Starring Eugene Levy as Darth Vader, the dad still trying to be cool.
"We'll just tell your mother we used the force"
Wait a second... (Score:5, Funny)
I think i just felt a disturbance in the force, as if millions of fans involved in the never ending "which is better, Star Wars or Star Trek?" debates suddenly cried out in bewilderment and then their heads asploded.
No Help (Score:5, Funny)
This is not going to help explaining the differences to the Girlfriend when she says "Star Wars, Star Trek same thing..."
"The Star Wars franchise had a series of movies starting a bit over 30 years ago. They are about to make some new ones. The guy who did Lost is going to direct them. . Where as Star Trek had a series of movies starting circa 30 years ago. They are now making new ones. The guy who did Lost directs them...""
Re:The Lens Flare!!! (Score:5, Funny)
Comment removed (Score:5, Funny)
Why JJ Abrams when you could get Peter Jackson? (Score:5, Funny)
Re:The Lens Flare!!! (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Why JJ Abrams when you could get Peter Jackson? (Score:5, Funny)
Star wars 7: There is a knock at Luke's front door. A bunch of people invite themselves in and eat all his food.
Now we can finally openly acknowledge it (Score:4, Funny)
Re:having just watched the Trek marathon on SyFy (Score:5, Funny)
Please. All of that TNG crap. I wanted them to die. I wanted the scene to go like this:
Picard> Yes, but the question is *should* we kill them?
Data> Killing is not ethical
Blah>
Blah>
Blah>
Enterprise blown from the stars
Enemy captain> If you're going to shoot, shoot, don't talk
AWESOME! (Score:5, Funny)
I always though that Star Wars did not have enough lens flares...
Why cant they have Michael Bay do it? We would have Ewoks exploding all over the place, and everyone's wish comes true... Exploding Jar Jar...
Re:No more time travel! (Score:0, Funny)
But if you say that, that means you are too stupid to follow it, not that you thought it was just a shit movie. I pirated it and have it on my laptop and have still never made it through. Someone should have told them that character development isn't just talking about a character, but trying to get the audience to connect with the character. It was just bad.
NOOO! MOVIE OPINIONS DIFFERENT FROM MINE! YOURE ALL D-BAG IDJIOTS AND I'M CORRECT!
We can do this back-and-forth all day, ya'know.
Re:Wait a second... (Score:5, Funny)
If they also announce that J.J. Abrams is going to direct a new Ghostbusters movie and a new Back To The Future movie, the geek universe will implode.
Re:The Lens Flare!!! (Score:5, Funny)
That's no sun! That's a lens flare!
Re:The mouse better not mess this up (Score:5, Funny)
J.J.Abrams To Direct Next Zero Wing Game (Score:5, Funny)
Scrolling upwards and out into space away from the bottom of the screen:
In A.D. 2101
War was beginning.
Captain: What happen ? ....
Mechanic: Somebody set up us the bomb.
Operator: We get lens flare.
Captain: What !
Operator: We get lens flare.
Operator: Main screen turn on.
Captain: It's You !!
Cats: How are you gentlemen !!
Cats: All your base are belong to us.
Cats: You are on the way to destruction.
Operator: We get lens flare.
Captain: What you say !!
Operator: We get lens flare.
Captain: No. I say to Cats. What you say !!
Cats: You have no chance to survive make your time.
Cats: HA HA HA HA
Captain: Take off every 'zig' !!
Captain: You know what you doing.
Captain: Move 'zig'.
Captain: For great justice.
Operator: We get lens flare.
Re:Wait a second... (Score:5, Funny)
Yeah! And now that you mention it... they really should make a sequel to "The Matrix" some day. It really is surprising that such a big hit was never followed up on...
Re:No Help (Score:5, Funny)
That's because "Girlfriend" is a defined term here on Slashdot: a mythical creature (see e.g. roc, pegasus, unicorn).
Re:Really? (Score:3, Funny)
Re:having just watched the Trek marathon on SyFy (Score:4, Funny)
The talking hapens a lot.
[very weak ship starts shooting]
Enterprise: hey, we've got the most powerful ship in the federation. This weak ship is shooting us. Hmmm. What shall we do?
[ship continues to shoot]
Enterprise: Perhaps we should shoot back.
[ship coninues to shoot]
[Enterprise begins to sustain damage]
Enterprise: Yeah shooting's a good idea. Let's ignore all the photon torpedos and most of the other weapons and shoot one phaser on the weakest setting (the ship phasers don't seem to do stun on TNG).
[ship gets shot, but sustains only moderate damage and keeps shooting]
Enterprise: huh. That didn't do much and dang they're still shooting.
[console on enterprise randomly expoldes]
Enterprise: shall we shoot again? Perhaps shooting would be a good idea. Maybe we should up the phaser power from one to two percent and try again. But let's think about it for a while.
[other ship KEEPS shooting and enterprise really starts to take the hits]
[enterprise fires one more very weak phaser blast which does about as much as expected]
Enterprise: huh. They're still going. OMG SHIELDS ARE FAILING EVERYBODY PANIC AND WHILE YOU'RE AT IT DON'T BOTHER TO SHOOT BACK WITH EVERYTHING YOU'VE GOT!!
and so on.
Re:Really? (Score:5, Funny)
It's "Redd Foxx." Assuming you mean the comedian. "Stay in attack formation, dummy!"
Re:MTV Star Wars! (Score:5, Funny)
Funny, I thought the '09 reboot was Starfleet Academy: 90210. Gotta get my glasses fixed...
Ah yes, "Melrose Space".
Re:Why JJ Abrams when you could get Peter Jackson? (Score:5, Funny)
Star wars 7: There is a knock at Luke's front door. A bunch of people invite themselves in and eat all his food.
Far over the Endor forest green
To Yavin IV and Tattooine
We must arrive by hyperdrive
And stick a fork in Palpatine...
Re:No Help (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Really? (Score:5, Funny)
Red October Shtanding by
Re:Wait a second... (Score:5, Funny)
I never understood why Star Wars fans were so upset with midicholrians, when the existence of such means you could potentially make a yogurt with active cultures to give you force abilities.
"What do you want from the store honey? Dannon Light, or Dannon Dark?"
An amazing coincidence! (Score:5, Funny)
Is it true that J.J. Abrams real name is Jar Jar?
Re:No Help (Score:5, Funny)
This is not going to help explaining the differences to the Girlfriend when she says "Star Wars, Star Trek same thing..."
"The Star Wars franchise had a series of movies starting a bit over 30 years ago. They are about to make some new ones. The guy who did Lost is going to direct them. . Where as Star Trek had a series of movies starting circa 30 years ago. They are now making new ones. The guy who did Lost directs them...""
The simplest way to deal with a girlfriend, assuming you have one, is to simply say have you seen the new episode of "Keeping up with the Kardashians". That should keep her busy talking for a half hour while you play Halo in your head. When there's a lull in her talking just say, "I know can you believe what happened". That should keep her going for another half hour while you finish another imaginary Halo level. If she doesn't watch that show there's always the Twilight punt. Just tell her you started reading the Twilight novels. That will buy you an hour of in head gaming before she asks your thoughts on something from the novel. I recommend your response to whatever she asked to be "Isn't it an amazing romance?" That'll buy you two hours if not the rest of the night and you might even get laid.
Re:No more time travel! (Score:5, Funny)
As long as he doesn't create an alternate universe where Greedo shot first, Vader made C3P0, the Force-sensitivity is a bacterial infection, and force-ghosts got 20 years younger, we should be just fine.
Re:No more time travel! (Score:5, Funny)
For a more accurate flowchart of Primer (and several other movies) see: http://xkcd.com/657/ [xkcd.com]