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Beer Sci-Fi

Klingon Beer 100

Posted by Soulskill
from the don't-drink-and-warp-drive dept.
An anonymous reader writes: "We may not have Saurian Brandy or Romulan Ale, but we'll soon have Klingon Beer. Tin Man Brewing Company in Evansville, Indiana has gotten the OK from CBS to create 'Klingon Warnog,' a Dunkelweizen with 'a modern aroma [of] predominantly mild banana and clove.' It will have an ABV of 5.5%. The Klingon beer will apparently join Vulcan Ale in the Federation of Beer. I wonder what their Prime Directive is."
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Klingon Beer

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  • by smitty_one_each (243267) * on Tuesday March 25, 2014 @04:47PM (#46578107) Homepage Journal
    Klingon beer
    Gutteral suds
    Your blade will steer
    Past Romulan duds
    Burma Shave
  • by burni2 (1643061) on Tuesday March 25, 2014 @04:51PM (#46578151)

    I expect something more like the taste of smoked roasted wild boar and a fine note of decaying fish (SürstrÃming) for the fine taste!

    • by ackthpt (218170)

      I expect something more like the taste of smoked roasted wild boar and a fine note of decaying fish (SürstrÃming) for the fine taste!

      Fortified with the blood of your slain enemies...

      Honestly, this is about as worthless as Bad Frog Beer, the beer they felt they had to make, because the T-shirt of the frog appearing to give the middle digit, was selling so well and people asked about the fictional beer. The beer could be Bud, Pearl, Coors or just about anything else.

    • by Holammer (1217422)

      CBS and the FDA might have a shit fit if you use blood innit. :)

    • A strong hint of dried plums would also seem appropriate for a warriors beer :)
    • by mwvdlee (775178)

      Anything without live grubs in it, cannot possibly claim to be klingon.

    • by Shatrat (855151)

      I've had one of these beers. The main flavor is really the rye malt, rustic. The cloves and yeast flavor are really more of an undertone. It's pretty good beer, especially for $1 per 16 oz can.

      • by Shatrat (855151)

        Have to reply to myself. I just noticed the summary says the beer is a Dunkelweizen "Dark Wheat". It's actually a Roggenbier, "Rye Beer".

  • only 5.5%!?! (Score:5, Insightful)

    by xfade551 (2627499) on Tuesday March 25, 2014 @04:52PM (#46578159)
    Seriously, they are calling this a "Klingon" beer and it's only 5.5% ABV. This should be in the 9%-10% range at least! And an aroma of cloves and banana!?! Give me a break! It should have a bitter hoppy flavor, maybe with a bit of metallic taste to be reminiscent of freshly spilled blood!
    • by geekoid (135745)

      And you know Klingon alcohol tolerance..how?

      Why do you think toughness equates to alcohol tolerance? oh, right, you have a small mind.
      Considering Warnog has a flavor so complex it can't be replicated perfectly, AND Klingon have heightened sense compared to humans, it is likely to have less alcohol.

      • Re:only 5.5%!?! (Score:5, Insightful)

        by QilessQi (2044624) on Tuesday March 25, 2014 @05:36PM (#46578641)

        Come on, GP was being funny. No need to go full Comic Book Guy on him.

        • by geekoid (135745)

          I thought I was being a funny comic guy parody. Apparently I breach some sort of Poe law variant limit.

          • by QilessQi (2044624)

            My bad, then. But that's the trouble with trying for a parody of Comic Book Guy in a world where this [kli.org] exists.

            (I recommend suffixing such posts with ~s or bracketing them with <ComicBookGuy> tags)

      • by jxander (2605655)

        Worst.

        Post.

        Ever.

        [/comicbookguy]

      • Re:only 5.5%!?! (Score:5, Informative)

        by lister king of smeg (2481612) on Tuesday March 25, 2014 @06:00PM (#46578937)

        And you know Klingon alcohol tolerance..how?

        Why do you think toughness equates to alcohol tolerance? oh, right, you have a small mind.
        Considering Warnog has a flavor so complex it can't be replicated perfectly, AND Klingon have heightened sense compared to humans, it is likely to have less alcohol.

        accept in the ds9 episode where O'Brien, Worf, Sisko, and Odo, infiltrat a Klingon ceremony to catch a changing it is mentioned that O'Brian Sisko and Odo would of died of alcohol poisoning if not for an injection they were given to neutralize the alcohol. Also in TNG there is an episode where Worf replicates a Klingon beverage for some refugees they are rescuing after they complain about the federation alcohol being to weak, and it is shown to be much stronger. So the Klingons can metabolize higher amounts of alcohol and thus probably drink more consternated beverages.

      • It seems reasonable to infer from the intoxicating effects of Bloodwine [memory-alpha.org] which is guzzled not sipped from dainty thimbles, that Warnog should be far from lacking in potency and certainly well in excess of 10%. It also dispels your assertion of Klingons being lightweights. I'd argue the flavor choice probably doesn't make much sense either, but I really don't have any canonical references to support that one way or the other.
        • by geekoid (135745)

          I never said light weights.
          Are you so lacking in character that you need to speak negatively about people who prefer less alcohol consumption in order to feel like you have worth?

          • by Smauler (915644)

            No one except for you has spoken negatively about anyone. You equated alcohol to toughness, no one else. You're the one lacking in character.

            Get off your high horse, and stop complaining about a culture you obviously have no idea about.

        • by sg_oneill (159032)

          Prune flavors would work. Worf always liked prune juice because it tasted like a "Warriors drink". I guess you could make inferences from that.

      • And you know Klingon alcohol tolerance..how?

        Why do you think toughness equates to alcohol tolerance? oh, right, you have a small mind. Considering Warnog has a flavor so complex it can't be replicated perfectly, AND Klingon have heightened sense compared to humans, it is likely to have less alcohol.

        Dude, seriously, why so keen to throw insults around at anyone who doesn't fit your strict world image of the universe according to geekoid? No, he doesn't have a small mind for pointing out the classical cultural staple that tough machismo guys can drink, Hollywood's been depicting that image for decades.
        In any case, 5.5% IS, on the whole, on the light side, even by human standards. The English ales I like are are least 7, 8 %, or higher. Wine is nearly double that. I would expect an alien race that en

    • Dunkelweisen is a beer made with wheat. The reason for the wheat is to make a beer with less of a malty flavor, which means less hops are needed to balance this bland tasteless beer. This is the craft brewers version of light beer. Give me a break.
    • We used to have a cocktail back in my university days called "The Vulcan Mind Probe" . . . that was more like 155%. I remember that there was grain alcohol and peppermint schnapps in it, but I don't remember what else was in it.

      And frankly, after drinking that, no one really remembers very much anyway.

  • by f()rK()_Bomb (612162) on Tuesday March 25, 2014 @04:59PM (#46578215)
    Surely it should taste of prune's, like a true warrior's drink.
  • Prune juice....a real warriors drink!!!!

    • by PortHaven (242123)

      Seriously, a mod down?

      Did anyone actually watch Star Trek? Prune juice.... was specifically called a warrior's drink on TNG.

  • buy' ngop

    Figuratively of course : P
  • by Anonymous Coward

    Seriously, "Dunkelweizen" is just plain wrong, no German would call it that horrendous word.
    The proper wording is "dunkles Weizen(bier)" == "dark wheat (beer)".
    5.5% is not even strong, that's more on the light side; usally this flavour starts at 5.5%, and no beer has below 5.0%.
    7% to 7.5% would be a proper alcohol level!

    Please get that at least right.

    • Seriously, cutting back on the hops and using wheat is just plain wrong, no Brit would call lager beer.

      Then again a whole generation has had John Smiths Smooth at knockdown prices in university so when they don't know what real beer is. Bloody yuppie kids.

      I'm more of a mead guy, myself.

  • by BenJeremy (181303) on Tuesday March 25, 2014 @05:06PM (#46578311)

    They used to have Romulan Ale and Klingon Blood wine, among other things.

    Sad that a Michael Jackson show replaced the Star Trek Experience at the Hilton in Las Vegas. There had been talks of reviving it Downtown, but I guess that never materialized.

  • Mild banana and clove? If I could edit my last post, I would change from buy' ngop to nuqDaq 'oH puchpa''e'
  • The Alamo Drafthouse [drafthouse.com] was serving Klingon Blood Wine [drafthouse.com] during the premiere of the 2009 Star Trek (also Romulan Ale and Raktajino). I wonder if CBS had to license them.
    • (also Romulan Ale and Raktajino)

      Raktajino has to be the worst idea in the Star Trek franchise. Why would Klingons "fru-fru" up their coffee, not very warrior like IMO. At least it tasted like an oil slick. :/

  • Fuck this, where's the tranya?

    Speaking of which, why aren't they cleaning up the Borg or Klingons? Their ship makes the Enterprise J look like Fred Flintstone's car.

  • by sootman (158191) on Tuesday March 25, 2014 @07:43PM (#46579791) Homepage Journal

    > I wonder what their Prime Directive is.

    To get laid.

    Fun fact: it won't work.

  • That's why we drink it here!

  • Klingon JACKPOT!!

  • Just add a little carmel coloring and there you have it.
  • Because what true klingon drinks beer anyway?

Stinginess with privileges is kindness in disguise. -- Guide to VAX/VMS Security, Sep. 1984

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