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Lord of the Rings Crime Education Idle

Texas Boy Suspended For "Threatening" Classmate With the One Ring 591

An anonymous reader writes Nine-year-old Aiden Steward has been suspended by officials at a Texas school after he allegedly threatened to use his magic ring to make another boy disappear. His father says the family had watched The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies last weekend. His son brought a ring to class and told another boy his magic ring could make the boy disappear. "I assure you my son lacks the magical powers necessary to threaten his friend's existence," Aiden's father wrote in an email. "If he did, I'm sure he'd bring him right back." Principal Roxanne Greer declined to comment on the school's zero tolerance policy on magic rings. It may seem easy to make fun of Principal Greer in this case, but it does make one wonder how many elves could have been saved if someone took a hard line with a young Sauron.
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Texas Boy Suspended For "Threatening" Classmate With the One Ring

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  • by Anonymous Coward on Monday February 02, 2015 @10:55AM (#48958143)

    and, is this policy thing working out for you?

    • by Anonymous Coward on Monday February 02, 2015 @10:59AM (#48958195)

      More like "zero intelligence" policy.

      • by schlachter ( 862210 ) on Monday February 02, 2015 @11:22AM (#48958457)

        It's part of the "teaching incompetence and government absurdity" in the classroom program. Best the kids learn early that rational thought and reason does not exist if the words threat, school, sex, gay, religion, race, and more are used in a sentence.

        • by ShanghaiBill ( 739463 ) on Monday February 02, 2015 @11:52AM (#48958793)

          Best the kids learn early that rational thought and reason does not exist ...

          Indeed. How does it make any sense to punish misbehavior with a three day vacation spent watching TV while falling further behind academically? At my kids' school, they punish misbehavior with detention and extra work, which seems to be effective since they have had NO students disappear due to magic spells.

        • by denzacar ( 181829 ) on Monday February 02, 2015 @01:29PM (#48959817) Journal

          Best the kids learn early that rational thought and reason does not exist if the words threat, school, sex, gay, religion, race, and more are used in a sentence.

          From TFA:

          He's already been suspended three times this school year.
          Two of the disciplinary actions this year were in-school suspensions for referring to a classmate as black and bringing his favorite book to school: "The Big Book of Knowledge."

          "He loves that book. They were studying the solar system and he took it to school. He thought his teacher would be impressed," Steward said.

          But the teacher learned the popular children's encyclopedia had a section on pregnancy, depicting a pregnant woman in an illustration, he explained.

          • by David_W ( 35680 ) on Monday February 02, 2015 @02:35PM (#48960671)

            You know, I wondered if there could be more to this story, like the concern was not the actual threat so much at the intent behind it. (Like, it wasn't any concerns over the "magic" angle, but that the threat was rooted in an actual desire to cause harm. Then I read this in your comment:

            ...the disciplinary actions this year were in-school suspensions for... bringing his favorite book to school... depicting a pregnant woman in an illustration...

            Yup, that tells me everything right there. They are nuts. Remind me never to go anywhere near this school system, ever.

          • by geekmux ( 1040042 ) on Monday February 02, 2015 @03:27PM (#48961321)

            Best the kids learn early that rational thought and reason does not exist if the words threat, school, sex, gay, religion, race, and more are used in a sentence.

            From TFA:

            He's already been suspended three times this school year. Two of the disciplinary actions this year were in-school suspensions for referring to a classmate as black and bringing his favorite book to school: "The Big Book of Knowledge."

            "He loves that book. They were studying the solar system and he took it to school. He thought his teacher would be impressed," Steward said.

            But the teacher learned the popular children's encyclopedia had a section on pregnancy, depicting a pregnant woman in an illustration, he explained.

            Knowledge. You know that shit can be dangerous in a classroom. We should probably suspend anyone who brings such educational porn in from the local bookstore...

          • But the teacher learned the popular children's encyclopedia had a section on pregnancy, depicting a pregnant woman in an illustration, he explained.

            hang on, don't teachers usually already know about pregnancy and all that adult type stuff? this teacher just learned about it NOW?

            maybe the kids should be teaching class...

    • by Stargoat ( 658863 ) <stargoat@gmail.com> on Monday February 02, 2015 @01:11PM (#48959617) Journal

      When Rings of Power are outlawed, only outlaws will have Rings of Power.

  • by jellomizer ( 103300 ) on Monday February 02, 2015 @10:56AM (#48958161)

    The reason why he got expelled was because he didn't bring a gun to class. And in turn he started spouting some non-christian magic mumbo jumbo.

    • by O('_')O_Bush ( 1162487 ) on Monday February 02, 2015 @11:00AM (#48958199)
      Um, this is a serious offense. There is no telling how many invisible people there might be all around us. Getting trapped in invisibility could ruin a kid's prospects for getting a job, getting married, or otherwise fulfilling their dreams.
    • by Thanshin ( 1188877 ) on Monday February 02, 2015 @11:02AM (#48958227)

      "And he caused his children to pass through the fire in the valley of the son of Hinnom: also he observed times, and used enchantments, and used witchcraft, and dealt with a familiar spirit, and with wizards: he wrought much evil in the sight of the LORD, to provoke him to anger." - Chronicles 33:6

      I don't understand why they let the boy go. He should have been executed for wizardry.

      Or whatever means of punishment they use in Texas.

      Oh, wait. It IS execution. Now it makes even less sense.

    • Re:This is Texas! (Score:5, Informative)

      by quenda ( 644621 ) on Monday February 02, 2015 @11:05AM (#48958255)

      The kid is a serial offender. Previously disciplined for referring to another kid as "black", and for bringing a book to school depicting pregnancy.
      If they don't do something, what next? He might bring in a book on evolution.

      • by mysidia ( 191772 )

        He might bring in a book on evolution.

        He might give a lecture... or even worse...... participate in a debate in which he disagrees with a prominent elected government official.

      • Re:This is Texas! (Score:5, Insightful)

        by Pulzar ( 81031 ) on Monday February 02, 2015 @11:13AM (#48958345)

        The kid is a serial offender. Previously disciplined for referring to another kid as "black", and for bringing a book to school depicting pregnancy.

        I thought you were joking. But that's really what he's been suspend for the previous two times.

        That's insanity...

        • Re:This is Texas! (Score:5, Insightful)

          by gstoddart ( 321705 ) on Monday February 02, 2015 @11:17AM (#48958397) Homepage

          It's kind of mind-boggling, isn't it?

          This tells me the principal at this school is quite possibly a complete fucking moron who is too stupid to hold this job.

          For pretending he'd use his magic powers he gets suspended? Amazing.

          • by mwvdlee ( 775178 )

            It's kind of mind-boggling, isn't it?

            This tells me the principal at this school is quite possibly a complete fucking moron who is too stupid to hold this job.

            For pretending he'd use his magic powers he gets suspended? Amazing.

            Imagine what this principal would do if God truely existed and Jezus went to this school, threatening to turn water into wine and such.

          • by Chris Mattern ( 191822 ) on Monday February 02, 2015 @12:24PM (#48959109)

            This has been going on for some time now:

            "In the first place God made idiots. This was for practice. Then He made School Boards." -- Mark Twain in 1897

      • by mwvdlee ( 775178 ) on Monday February 02, 2015 @11:22AM (#48958449) Homepage

        what next? He might bring in a book on evolution.

        Don't be silly. This is Texas; simple behaviour cannot turn into more complex behaviour without divine intervention.

  • Thank goodness he didn't make himself invisible! Think of all the mischief he could create then!
  • Where he went wrong (Score:4, Interesting)

    by OzPeter ( 195038 ) on Monday February 02, 2015 @11:05AM (#48958261)

    Seeing that this is Texas he should have just said that "God will strike down the unbeliever" and left it at that.

    I'd love to see this zero tolerance policy come up against religious freedom.

    • by OzPeter ( 195038 ) on Monday February 02, 2015 @11:09AM (#48958299)

      yeah I know that reading the TFA helps. But this little gem says it all - this kid is a huge trouble maker and has been suspended before. Look at the crap he has pulled:

      Two of the disciplinary actions this year were in-school suspensions for referring to a classmate as black and bringing his favorite book to school: "The Big Book of Knowledge."

      “He loves that book. They were studying the solar system and he took it to school. He thought his teacher would be impressed,” Steward said.

      But the teacher learned the popular children’s encyclopedia had a section on pregnancy, depicting a pregnant woman in an illustration, he explained.

  • by geekmux ( 1040042 ) on Monday February 02, 2015 @11:08AM (#48958285)

    "It may seem easy to make fun of Principal Greer in this case, but it does make one wonder how many elves could have been saved if someone took a hard line with a young Sauron."

    Ironically, his level of ignorance has triggered my zero tolerance for morons in powerful positions. Particularly those responsible for education.

    Just once, just one damn time I'd like to see Common F. Sense kick the living shit out of Zero Tolerance.

    Once again, we watch the fear of litigation create handcuffs and cause cranial-rectal inversion. Damn that shit gets old.

    • Oh, it's probably happened, the news industry is just to embarrassed to admit that "administrator not a complete idiot" actually qualifies as news. They have to make their audience feel good about themselves after all.

  • Should be obvious (Score:2, Insightful)

    by Anonymous Coward

    ... Another case that proves the old saying - "Zero Tolerance Policy" means "Zero Intelligence Policy"

  • by Chas ( 5144 ) on Monday February 02, 2015 @11:10AM (#48958319) Homepage Journal

    Since Sauron is a Maia, he predates what we know as "creation".

    So the answer to this is probably "no".

    As always, Eru Illuvatar did not make himself available for comment.

    • by Noryungi ( 70322 )

      Just when I thought you could not get more geeky than the punchline to this story, you, my dear ''Chas'', prove me wrong.

      Thank you, kind Sir, you made my day. I am still wiping tears of laughter from my eyes.

  • He got suspended earlier for bringing a children's encyclopedia, "The Big Book of Knowledge," which had a section on pregnancy.

    • by pr0fessor ( 1940368 ) on Monday February 02, 2015 @01:08PM (#48959583)

      One of my sons was expelled from the highschool the day after the Columbine shootings because had previously owned a trench coat that he had out grown and hadn't owned for nearly a year. The expulsion only lasted half a day before someone came to our house and apologized as the principal had over stepped his authority when he expelled every student that had ever worn a trench coat to school. That was also his last year as principal.

      He was also suspended for wearing a pentacle by a vice principal wearing great big honking cross. After a lengthy explanation about religious symbols used as gang signs from her I simply told her she's not suspending him and will never mention it again unless she intends to suspends every person wearing a cross. She started to try and convince me that was different and I cut her off and cautioned her that there wasn't any argument she could give that wouldn't make me want to see her fired.

  • The family name is Steward.
    I think the boy was merely trying to show "show his quality"
  • TFA says that the school is called ''Kermit Elementary School'', I was expecting the name ''Hogwarts'' - silly me!

  • If a moron at a local pizzeria causes you grief, you'll simply order from a different restaurant next time. But there is no such choice in the single most important sphere of all: the children education. And TFA is just one little example of it.

    Since 1960-ies the per-pupil annual cost of public schools quadrupled (inflation-adjusted) [ed.gov], while the quality of education remains the same (if it has not gotten worse). What other industry could get away with such a thing?

  • by account_deleted ( 4530225 ) on Monday February 02, 2015 @11:20AM (#48958425)
    Comment removed based on user account deletion
  • Here we go again (Score:4, Insightful)

    by Ol Olsoc ( 1175323 ) on Monday February 02, 2015 @11:20AM (#48958429)
    As a victim of the totalitarian school system, my disdain for school administrators is proven justifiable again and again.

    There is something seriously wrong with this principle. I do not know if is something that needs counseling, or psych-drugs, or whether she is mentally challenged, or merely power mad, and enjoys exerting it over little children, but no, childplay should never be punished like that. I don't think she should be allowed to be around children.

  • by Jeff Flanagan ( 2981883 ) on Monday February 02, 2015 @11:37AM (#48958635)
    Look at how popular extremist Christianity is down there. No one told Texas that the supernatural is imaginary.
  • by Akratist ( 1080775 ) on Monday February 02, 2015 @12:49PM (#48959383)
    Extraordinary claims require extraordinary proof. Zero-tolerance policies, in turn, require extraordinary stupidity.

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