Let's Rename Swine Flu As "Colbert Flu" 607
Bruce Perens writes "The World Health Organization will no longer refer to Virus A(H1N1) as 'Swine Flu,' citing ethnic reactions to 'swine,' for example among middle-eastern cultures who feel that swine are unclean. Or, is it because meat packers are concerned that people might stop eating pork in fear of the virus? WHO suggests that the public select a new name for the virus. I suggest that we all start calling it The Colbert Flu, after the comedian and fake pundit who asked his audience to stuff a NASA poll so that a Space Station module would be named after him. What can we do to make the name stick?"
Other news: an outbreak of political correctness (Score:3, Funny)
Given the pandemic of meaning obscuring, "politically correct" names, I'm surprised that swine flu hasn't been renamed to "porcine repressing influenza" or some such.
Re:Dear Bruce... (Score:5, Funny)
Flus are annoying, they show up wether you want them to or not, right in the middle of something else you were doing.
Ok, so how about The Thompson Flu.
Reddit had it right (Score:5, Funny)
"Bacon Lung"
Much better name.
Re:Dear Bruce... (Score:4, Funny)
How about the kdawson flu?
=Smidge=
Choosing name on similarity (Score:5, Funny)
Characteristics of a flu...
given all these, the choice is obvious...
I hereby dub this latest flu the CONSERVATIVE REPUBLICAN FLU
Yes, it's important that deadly viruses. . . (Score:5, Funny)
Not be named after 'unclean' animals after all. I only get kosher diseases, thank you very much!
Re:Let's not (Score:5, Funny)
You know, science doesn't take too kindly to being anthropomorphized.
Re:Colbert != comedian (Score:2, Funny)
Are you a conservative by any chance?
Prescott Pharmaceuticals (Score:4, Funny)
You can bet that Prescott Pharmaceuticals is working on a nostrum to exploit this latest panic. Includes such side effects as trotter lip, spleen bristles, and toe hams.
BTW.. I'm a Colbert too, you insensitive clods!
My Submission (Score:5, Funny)
"I can't come in to work today. I have space herpes."
"Some guy on the subway gave me space herpes."
"CNN Reporting today that another 35 cases of space herpes have surfaced in New York."
Re:Dear Bruce... (Score:5, Funny)
How about the kdawson flu?
=Smidge=
I second that motion.
Re:Dear Bruce... (Score:5, Funny)
Flus are annoying, they show up wether you want them to or not, right in the middle of something else you were doing.
Mother-in-law flu?
Edit the wiki (Score:4, Funny)
Now to be called "Pandemic Influenza Germ" (Score:4, Funny)
Or P.I.G. Flu
- suggested by CBC radio's "The Current" program this morning.
Re:Dear Bruce... (Score:5, Funny)
Try to exercise a bit of sensitivity... they're concerned that a disease is named after something that is unclean.
Perhaps they would like the Purity Flu?
Re:Dear Bruce... (Score:5, Funny)
Well, I felt that with Colbert's desire to have multiple things named after him, the list of things is here [pastemagazine.com], there would be a sort of "symmetry" to naming something that he would not want after him.
Obviously a simple influenza virus is insufficient to name after me. I'd want to have named after me an itch that you can't reach and slowly drives you crazy.
Bacon Fever!!! (Score:4, Funny)
I'm telling you Bacon Fever!!!
Re:Colbert != comedian (Score:5, Funny)
I am familiar with the memes, the subject matter, and the jokes that have come before, and 4/4 of them still aren't funny.
Rejected names (Score:5, Funny)
Wilbur's flu
Flu Z
Montezuma's revenge
Tequila flu
Panic flu
Non-Kosher/Non-Halal flu
One flu over the cuckoo's nest
(just flat out ignore my poorly formatted list above. Sorry)
Re:Why don't we... (Score:2, Funny)
I think I might actually write in "Xenu flu" for that. It even rhymes!
Re:Yes, it's important that deadly viruses. . . (Score:3, Funny)
Niether of you know what you are missing.
Sure swine may be dirty, and their flu may be bad but....
fucking bacon. Whats wrong with you people? Seriously.... bacon comes from swine! How can you heathens deny the one true breakfast meat!
-Steve
Re:Dear Bruce... (Score:3, Funny)
Personally, since this is a KILLER virus, we should name it Hans Reiser Virus.
yeah, I know, I'm sick.
Re:Colbert != comedian (Score:5, Funny)
I'm sorry but "Colbert" and "Comedian" only belong in the sentence if the words between them are "is not a ". Maybe I'm English and I just don't get him....
That's OK, mate. We don't get the whole cross-dressing thing here.
Cheers.
Re:Dear Bruce... (Score:4, Funny)
The "Perens Scabies?"
That sounds marketable!
PC Flu, WW Flu, WT Flu (Score:4, Funny)
PCFlu - Politically Correct Flu
WWF - World Wide Flu
WTF - World Terrorizing Flu
Re:Dear Bruce... (Score:5, Funny)
The Spanish Inquisition flu.
After all, nobody expected it.
clearly the bird component is (Score:2, Funny)
Flying Pig Flu (Score:4, Funny)
The virus has genetic characteristics of avian flu and swine flu.
The obvious way to distinguish this one is to call it the Flying Pig Flu.
Late-night comics and morning zoo types will flog it for all it's worth, so it will overtake the current moniker.
And the zealots will have to try to kill all the flying pigs.
Sorry, Stephen.
Why? He was innocent (Score:2, Funny)
They forced him to produce a body... that doesn't mean anything. Hans was a nerd and the jury doesn't like that so they locked him up. Simple as that.
Re:Yes, it's important that deadly viruses. . . (Score:1, Funny)
the one true breakfast meat!
Sssh! My wife thinks that's cock.
Great idea! (Score:5, Funny)
Further more, I suggest we submit that for further discussion in an article of its own.
I prefer... (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Dear Bruce... (Score:2, Funny)
Perhaps, but Perens Pox would probably work even better
Re:Let's not (Score:5, Funny)
I don't get why anyone would object to "swine flu".
(1) There are some people whose living depends on selling swine-related products.
(2) People are, in general, dumb.
Consequently, people may jump to the conclusion that eating swine may result in them getting the flu.
This is why I'm backing "Mexican flu." If nothing else, it'll cut down on people eating Mexicans.
Re:Yes, it's important that deadly viruses. . . (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Dear Bruce... (Score:5, Funny)
One, the ridiculing of the holiest body of christanity, we the inquisition!
Two, the use of skit material not created by you but created by the holiest body of christianity, we the inquisition!
And three, the countenance upon which you stated the material... THREE!
Mark these 3 laws the holiest of holies that thou dost mock!
Re:Choosing name on similarity (Score:2, Funny)
Okay I'll play....
Which is different from the Liberal Democrat flu, signs of which are,
* Extreme nausea
* Delirium
* Can't move beyond it
* Can't be stopped at the border
* Can't afford the cure
Re:Dear Bruce... (Score:1, Funny)
Obviously a simple influenza virus is insufficient to name after me. I'd want to have named after me an itch that you can't reach and slowly drives you crazy.
Didn't they already name perenthetical comments after you?
(Never let spell-check get in the way of a bad pun.)
Re:Dear Bruce... (Score:5, Funny)
The difference is that Colbert is actively mocking his stage persona.... Rush Limbaugh, by contrast was always just a pig.
Hey! Maybe we could call it the Limbaugh Flu....
Re:Dear Bruce... (Score:5, Funny)
Comment removed (Score:4, Funny)
Re:Dear Bruce... (Score:4, Funny)
Re:Dear Bruce... (Score:3, Funny)
It would be ironic to record a song titled "Ironic" and have the lyrics report a series of events which are unlucky, rather than ironic.
Ah, so that explains Alanis Morisette. It was deeply meta-ironic. See, now I can enjoy the song again.
Re:Dear Bruce... (Score:4, Funny)
I would hate to see an America where there was only one party.
Uh...I've got some bad news for you.
Re:Dear Bruce... (Score:5, Funny)
This flu is actually two parts swine flu, one part bird flu and one part human flu.
If this is true then we have no choice but to name it accordingly...
...ManBirdPig Flu!!
Re:Dear Bruce... (Score:2, Funny)