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The Star Wars Christmas Special Still Exists 316

Posted by CmdrTaco
from the truth-is-out-there dept.
rapturizer noted the critical news that "Fans of "Star Wars" have a chance to see a free screening of the notoriously bad 'Star Wars Holiday Special' next week in Minneapolis." Nothing brings out the Christmas spirit like watching what may very well be the worst TV ever produced. Sadly however, I'm not sure that this is the worst *Star Wars* merch ever made.
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The Star Wars Christmas Special Still Exists

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  • Oh no (Score:4, Informative)

    by quall (1441799) on Thursday December 10, 2009 @08:45AM (#30387386)
    The only thing worse than watching the special, is watching it on VHS.
  • by JeffSpudrinski (1310127) on Thursday December 10, 2009 @08:45AM (#30387388)

    ...and I have to say that if I went to free screening of it, I would demand a full refund.

    My KIDS won't even watch it, and that's saying something.

  • Link or it didn't happen!!
    • Re: (Score:3, Informative)

      by Farmer Tim (530755)

      Didn't happen...next week? Only a time traveller would get their tenses mixed up like that, therefore:

      RODRIGOANDRADE IS A LHC SABOTEUR FROM THE FUTURE! SIEZE HIM!!!

    • From the pioneer press: [twincities.com]

      Fans of "Star Wars" have a chance to see a free screening of the notoriously bad "Star Wars Holiday Special" next week in Minneapolis.

      The Minnesota Film and TV Board is showing the 1978 television special as an official Toys for Tots event. It will be screened Dec. 16 at Bryant-Lake Bowl.

      Film Board director of services Chris Grap is a fan of bad movies. Grap says he "couldn't believe" the "Star Wars Holiday Special" existed.

      The plot involves Han Solo trying to get Chewbacca the Wookie back to his home planet to celebrate Life Day. The cast includes original "Star Wars" actors as well as Bea Arthur, Art Carney and Harvey Korman.

      The screening is free, but people bringing a toy donation will get priority seating. Doors open at 9 p.m.

      — Associated Press

  • Can it really be worse than Caravan of Courage: An Ewok Adventure and Ewoks: The Battle for Endor?

    even as a little kid I felt they were lame and painful to watch.

    • by Rary (566291) on Thursday December 10, 2009 @09:07AM (#30387592)

      When I tell people about it, I go on and on and on about how unbelievably bad it is. I insist that it's worse than the worst you can possibly think of and then some. I tell them that it's not one of those things that's so bad that it's good, it's so bad that it's just bad. Really, really, really, really, really bad. Horrible. And not in a way that's funny. It's just bad.

      When people I've warned about it end up finally seeing it, they always tell me that my warnings didn't even come close to preparing them for just how bad it actually was.

      I'd say that, even if you're a die-hard fan, SWHS is so bad that it's not even worth seeing. I personally can't bring myself to watch it a second time. It's just so freakin' bad.

      Do yourself a favour. Stay away from it — far, far away.

      • by dkleinsc (563838)

        How does it compare with Manos: The Hands of Fate (without MST)?

        • One of the reasons it's so bad is the way it takes the characters you've come to know and love, and puts them in a situation where they don't act like themselves. Manos is horrible, and painful to watch, but this takes it to a new level. Imagine coming home and finding a brain-eating zombie. Pretty bad, right? Now imagine that the zombie is your mom. Much, much worse.
        • by jitterman (987991)
          I promise you, Rary 566291 is correct. To compare, I watched a RiffTrax version of SWHS, hoping that this treatment would help in some way. I'd rather watch "Manos.." without MST3K than SWHS with the old MST3K crew. There are no words to describe it. You cannot be warned sufficiently. Apparently it was created in Soviet Russia, and I leave it to another /.er to come up with an appropriately funny saying to that effect.
      • by neurovish (315867)

        When I tell people about it, I go on and on and on about how unbelievably bad it is. I insist that it's worse than the worst you can possibly think of and then some. I tell them that it's not one of those things that's so bad that it's good, it's so bad that it's just bad. Really, really, really, really, really bad. Horrible. And not in a way that's funny. It's just bad.

        When people I've warned about it end up finally seeing it, they always tell me that my warnings didn't even come close to preparing them for just how bad it actually was.

        I'd say that, even if you're a die-hard fan, SWHS is so bad that it's not even worth seeing. I personally can't bring myself to watch it a second time. It's just so freakin' bad.

        Do yourself a favour. Stay away from it — far, far away.

        He speaks the truth...I was also told how bad it was, including "the first 10 minutes are nothing but grunting wookies", and I did not heed the warnings. I foolishly thought that it couldn't be nearly as bad as everybody says it is. But yes, it is. I would warn others not to watch it, but I know you won't listen. If you really want to see it that badly, it's up on youtube. The highlight of the entire thing is the commercials from 1978, they are an interesting contrast to commercials of today.

    • by Tridus (79566) on Thursday December 10, 2009 @09:17AM (#30387656) Homepage

      You have no idea. People who say this is the worst TV ever made are NOT exaggerating.

      You can't deliberately make something this bad. I don't think you can even accidentally do it again. This is a once in a civilization mass failure that transcends ordinary failure and sets a new standard.

    • Well, you tell me... How bad is Bea Arthur singing and dancing with Roadian Bounty Hunters?

      I remember the Ewok movies and, yes, they were horrible (like having the Ewok language as english but backwards). This is a variety special, though, featuring Bea Arthur, Art Carney, and Jefferson Starship.

      On the bright side, it also has the cartoon introduction of Boba Fett, but that's the only redeeming quality.

      • by neurovish (315867)

        Well, you tell me... How bad is Bea Arthur singing and dancing with Roadian Bounty Hunters?

        Unfortunately, Bea Arthur's Mos Eisley musical number is one of the better parts. :(

    • by schon (31600) on Thursday December 10, 2009 @09:29AM (#30387774)

      OK, go find a copy of Shatner's "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds", and listen to it 20 times in a row.

      It's *that* bad.

      • Re: (Score:3, Insightful)

        by AttillaTheNun (618721)
        No - that's camp and I find it enjoyable on multiple listens.

        However, I have no desire to venture past the couple of youtube clips for the Star Wars Christmas Special.

        • Leonard Nimoy's "Bilbo Baggins", however, is closer. The only redeeming quality is the elves/hobbits/whatever in miniskirts.
    • by omnichad (1198475)

      Watch it, and just wait until you get to Bea Arthur's song. Yes, you read that right.

    • Re: (Score:3, Funny)

      by bill_mcgonigle (4333) *

      Can it really be worse than Caravan of Courage: An Ewok Adventure and Ewoks: The Battle for Endor?

      No, it's not that bad. Those were trying to be serious and lacked in almost every department.

      The Star Wars Holiday Special was meant to be a holiday song & dance special, set with Star Wars characters. The plot is reasonable for kids and the acts are amusing. There's even the introduction of Boba Fett, with more characterization of the character than in either ESB or ROJ. There is imagination portrayed

      • by blincoln (592401)

        You are a cruel, cruel man, Bill McGonicle, misusing your low user ID to spread that sort of deception.

    • by VShael (62735) on Thursday December 10, 2009 @10:14AM (#30388256) Journal

      That show is touched by darkness, Ambassador.
      I see it as a blemish that grew over time.

      I could warn you, of course, but you would not listen.
      I could kill you, but someone else would watch it in your place.
      So, I do the only thing I can. I go.

      Oh, if it was a review you wanted? A word or two, about the special itself?
      Well, take this, for what little it will profit you.

      As I look at you, I see a great hand reaching out of the darkness, trying to blot out the moviescreen.
      The hand is your hand.

      And I hear sounds--the sounds of billions of people calling your name, telling you "NO!! DON'T LOOK!! CLOSE YOUR EYES!!!"

    • by Cormacus (976625)
      All I can say is that I loved Ewoks: The Battle for Endor as a kid.
  • by ddillman (267710) <dgdillman@gma[ ]com ['il.' in gap]> on Thursday December 10, 2009 @08:46AM (#30387402) Journal
    Wonderful article. NOT! No mention of what theater? When? No linky to information that would let people know WHY this is so bad? Pfeh!
  • Link (Score:5, Informative)

    by DieByWire (744043) on Thursday December 10, 2009 @08:50AM (#30387440)
    For those of you awaking in your tauntaun right now on Hoth (aka Minneapolis), here's the link [twincities.com].
    • Re:Link (Score:5, Informative)

      by eldavojohn (898314) * <eldavojohn AT gmail DOT com> on Thursday December 10, 2009 @08:55AM (#30387490) Journal

      For those of you awaking in your tauntaun right now on Hoth (aka Minneapolis), here's the link [twincities.com].

      Indeed, from your link:

      Film Board director of services Chris Grap is a fan of bad movies. Grap says he "couldn't believe" the "Star Wars Holiday Special" existed. The plot involves Han Solo trying to get Chewbacca the Wookie back to his home planet to celebrate Life Day. The cast includes original "Star Wars" actors as well as Bea Arthur, Art Carney and Harvey Korman.

      Keep in mind that this is the birthplace of MST3K [wikipedia.org] and a great time in Minneapolis is a case of beer and one really bad movie with your friends. Slightly offtopic but five episodes of MST3K are on Hulu now [slashdot.org].

    • tauntaun (Score:3, Funny)

      by jDeepbeep (913892)

      For those of you awaking in your tauntaun right now

      As a matter of fact, I was [thinkgeek.com].

  • by Anonymous Coward

    Santa shot first!

  • So, a couple years ago at 'B-Fest', a Chicago festival of bad movies, I 'won' a copy of a DVD burn of someone's VHS copy. I showed it to some of my friend's kids recently, and even they started trashing it. So yes, it is out there, somewhere.
  • Awesome (Score:5, Informative)

    by VincenzoRomano (881055) on Thursday December 10, 2009 @09:03AM (#30387566) Homepage Journal
  • by sean_nestor (781844) on Thursday December 10, 2009 @09:07AM (#30387594) Homepage

    StarWarsHolidaySpecial.com [starwarsho...pecial.com]

    Fan site about the special...worth checking out for more details on the subject.

  • Just kidding. It stinks to high heaven. Still better than anything starring Adam Sandler though.

  • Kiss Movie (Score:3, Interesting)

    by stewbacca (1033764) on Thursday December 10, 2009 @09:16AM (#30387646)

    Worse than the Kiss movie?

  • by Megane (129182) on Thursday December 10, 2009 @09:17AM (#30387658) Homepage
  • by hansamurai (907719) <hansamurai@gmail.com> on Thursday December 10, 2009 @09:22AM (#30387694) Homepage Journal

    For those of us in the Twin Cities who are more interested in something less... atrociously awful, there's the Klingon Christmas Carol being performed right now at Mixed Blood!

    http://www.cbtheatre.org/KCC2009/KCC2009.htm [cbtheatre.org]

  • by cloudnin (843721) on Thursday December 10, 2009 @09:25AM (#30387732)
    Whenever I try to share some of my Malla and Lumpy centric Star Wars fanfic with people, they always turn me down and say something like, "The Star Wars Christmas Special doesn't exist, George Lucas even said so," or, "The events of the Christmas Special aren't canonical." Well, who's laughing now, fuckers?
  • Great (Score:3, Funny)

    by l3ert (231568) on Thursday December 10, 2009 @09:26AM (#30387744)
    This might be just whats needed to eliminate fans that somehow survived the prequels!
  • It has been on bootleg video since the day after it aired. It was somewhat hard to track down in the days before the Interwebs, but it's very easily found these days.

    The real question here, which we can't get answered because there is no link, is what kind of screening are they holding? Something from the master tapes, or a DVD-R bootleg hooked to a digital projector?

  • by rubmytummy (677080) on Thursday December 10, 2009 @10:04AM (#30388120)
    The answer is none. None more bad.
  • by Qbertino (265505) on Thursday December 10, 2009 @10:05AM (#30388138)

    Excerpt from Interview:
    MAXIM: "Any plans for a Special Edition of the Holiday Special?"
    George Lucas: [hangs head] "Right. That's one of those things that happened, and I just have to live with it."

    Hehe.

  • by AlbinoClock (1185993) on Thursday December 10, 2009 @10:09AM (#30388190)
    There are six legitimate installments of Star Wars canon. A New Hope, The Empire Strikes Back, Return of the Jedi, Caravan of Courage, The Battle for Endor, and The Star Wars Christmas Special.
    • Re: (Score:3, Funny)

      by Tetsujin (103070)

      There are six legitimate installments of Star Wars canon. A New Hope, The Empire Strikes Back, Return of the Jedi, Caravan of Courage, The Battle for Endor, and The Star Wars Christmas Special.

      You forgot the Timothy Zahn novels.

  • I for one loved the christmas special star wars and eagerly await its release to 3d blu-ray you insensitive clod!
  • by damn_registrars (1103043) <damn.registrars@gmail.com> on Thursday December 10, 2009 @10:17AM (#30388290) Homepage Journal
    Congrats, Taco, you have reached new heights in bad story accomplishments:
    • Meaningless headline - could George Lucas have somehow erased it from existence? I don't even think a Jedi master could accomplish that
    • No link or meaningful information in the headline - where in Minneapolis? and when?
    • Poorly written summary - do you have something against capitalization now?

    Although I guess if the point is to emphasize just how bad the Star Wars Holiday Special really was, then that may have helped slightly. Though if it is so bad you aren't willing to give a summary that is worth squat, then why even put it on the front page?

  • Fans of "Star Wars" have a chance to see a free screening of the notoriously bad "Star Wars Holiday Special" next week in Minneapolis.

    Couldn't they just be covered with honey and tied to an ant hill? Or forced to watch the Uwe Boll Film Festival with their eyes propped open while listening to loud Beethoven music? Why make them watch the Star Wars Holiday Special?

  • by thedbp (443047) on Thursday December 10, 2009 @10:26AM (#30388378)

    It's a trap!

  • Saw it Live! (Score:4, Interesting)

    by Dan East (318230) on Thursday December 10, 2009 @10:30AM (#30388430) Homepage Journal

    I saw this "live" when first broadcast. I was 6. I had the Star Wars movie soundtrack on LP record which I listened to many, many times, because we had no way of watching the actual movie unless it was playing at a theater.

    So the TV show was just a dose of that universe for me at that age, like throwing a puppy a bone. So of course I liked it - I just wanted to see those characters, regardless of what they were doing.

    But here's the odd part. Where I was so young when I saw that, and only saw it once, I would have these vague memories about watching Star Wars on TV. I knew that couldn't be, because Star Wars was never on TV, and because there were specific scenes I remembered that weren't even from the movie. Fairly recently (like in the last 5 years or so) I saw a reference to that special (probably here on Slashdot) and then it all fell in place.

    And yes, it really sucked bad. Like a bad blend of taking fictional characters and pulling them into a contemporary environment (1978). It totally destroyed the illusion that so many movie exist to create. Like watching R2D2's top removed and see some little guy lifted out.

  • This show was so bad that it is what you warn kids about so they will grow up to have sensible careers like toe surgeons and test subjects for clinical trials instead of film makers and TV producers.

  • that back when he was the Surgeon General, C. Everett Coop said that if you were forced to choose between seeing SWHS once or taking up smoking for a lifetime, go for the latter.
  • And I’m not even sure it’s what’s depicted in this image here: ^^

    http://pictureisunrelated.com/2009/09/15/if-i-have-to-live-with-this-image-so-do-you/ [pictureisunrelated.com]

    (As it says: If I have to live with this image, so do you. ;)

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