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It's funny. Laugh. Books Businesses Media Book Reviews

The Management Secrets of T. John Dick 226

Posted by timothy from the based-on-a-million-true-stories dept.
Craig Habeck writes "As a Dilbert aficionado, I was intrigued when a colleague handed me a book that he described as 'like Dilbert written from the point of view of the Pointy-Haired Boss.' I read it over the weekend and came into work on Monday with my sides still sore from laughing." Read on for the rest of what sounds like a good antidote to the plague of management/motivational airport books.
The Management Secrets of T. John Dick
author Augustus Gump
pages 268
publisher Mainland Press
rating 9
reviewer Craig Habeck
ISBN 0970874693
summary Dilbert in Prose - Sort Of

In fact, the resemblance to Dilbert is confined to the setting (a dysfunctional company) and a general atmosphere of corporate absurdity that will be only too familiar to many of us. This is a novel which is closer in tone to British humor of the 1950s. For 268 pages we go inside the head of T. John Dick, a hopelessly incompetent but supremely self-confident marketing manager, transferred from Boston to a small company in the fictitious town of Falling Rock, North Carolina.

Dick immediately goes about licking the company into shape, with disastrous and frequently hilarious results.

The humor derives chiefly from the character of TJ himself and the stark contrast between his self-image and reality. In his mind, he is a dynamic leader in tune with the latest management techniques. He is fond of sharing with us some of his "greatest strengths," including his ability to see "the big picture." In reality, he is a bumbling nincompoop, obsessed with petty details like the tidiness of his employees' desks and his mind-numbingly complex Meeting Room Reservation Procedure, the constant flouting of which drives him to distraction. He is completely unaware of the source of amusement he provides for his colleagues, particularly his nemesis, the laconic VP of Finance, and Hans Kartoffel, the German acting President of the group.

TJ applies the same cutting edge management techniques to his marriage, with similar results. He is completely oblivious to his wife's frequent affairs. We would feel sorry for him, if he weren't such a jerk. In fact, we do occasionally find ourselves sympathizing with him, but we soon get over it.

TJ's unusual management style leads him into some unique (and very funny) situations. His arrangements for a celebration of two million accident-free work hours lead to a fire which burns down half the factory. He attempts to struggle through a violent attack of diarrhea during an important presentation. He accidentally locks the company's president in a restroom stall and endeavors to free him without being noticed. So accident-prone is he that we are hardly surprised when his golf pants catch fire. Of course, no matter what happens, TJ always has a perfectly rational explanation - and it's never his fault.

The character of TJ is an exaggerated but nonetheless very recognizable version of bosses we have known. I laughed, but I also squirmed at the thought that there is no shortage of TJs running around gumming up the gears of industry. The book will appeal to anyone, engineer, product manager, secretary or other corporate wage slave, who has ever had to deal with an incompetent boss or colleague.

The Management Secrets of T. John Dick concludes with a series of completely absurd topics for readers discussion groups. My favorite: "TJ's obsession with trivial details....might be described as a serious personality defect. Discuss some of your own personality defects. Bet you've got some real doozies! You might like to help your co-members by pointing out some of theirs."

The book's back cover reveals little about its author, Augustus Gump, so I turned to the publisher's web site www.mainlandpress.com. Gump has previously published a number of short stories and his humorous articles have appeared in the Charlotte Observer and other regional newspapers. This is his first novel. I will be looking out for his next one.

You (or your boss) can purchase The Management Secrets of T. John Dick from bn.com. Slashdot welcomes readers' book reviews -- to see your own review here, read the book review guidelines, then visit the submission page.
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The Management Secrets of T. John Dick

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  • 2000000/24 hours a day = 83333 days/365days a year = 228 years? I don't know of any companies that have been around that long. Unless, as a proper manager he counts each persons time separatly, so maybe they have 1000 employees and they've been accident free for 90 days. How bizarre.

    However, the book does sound like it would be a fun read, so I might pick it up at some point.
  • ...check out "The Office" (I get it on BBC America)
    • Yeah that's exactly what I thought of too while reading the review. It's a very funny BBC sitcom set in an office (tada) centering around an incompetant manager and the staff who work for him, some of whom are as equally bizarre as their boss. you'll notice hundreds of similarities to an office you've worked in, especially if you've worked in the uk! the macho bravado and sexual innuendoes are perhaps not as prevalent in american companies.
    • I think "the office" was considerable more sublime than this book. I only saw it once on a sort of marathon DVD 'the office' fest and it's about as funny as TV can get. I think I may have actually vomited from laughing so hard. They really captured the various 'office personality types' perfectly in that show and I am eager for a second series if such a thing is possible.

      The scene where the have the fire drill and the boss and his assitant carry the only wheechair bound employee halfway down the fire st

  • well, ok... I'll try that (Score:5, Insightful)

    by inode_buddha ( 576844 ) on Friday July 18, 2003 @12:08PM (#6472014) Journal
    little challenge at the end of the review to explain my own failings.

    1. I usually don't bother to care what I seem like to others; Instead, I concentrate on my goals and not much else.

    2. I should pay attention to detail with the rest of life too, not just the contents of my hard drives.

    Conclusion: I'm gonna buy this one, because it seems to provoke thought as well as laughter.

  • Mr. Bean = Boss? (Score:5, Insightful)

    by sssmashy ( 612587 ) on Friday July 18, 2003 @12:09PM (#6472023)

    His arrangements for a celebration of two million accident-free work hours lead to a fire which burns down half the factory. He attempts to struggle through a violent attack of diarrhea during an important presentation. He accidentally locks the company's president in a restroom stall and endeavors to free him without being noticed. So accident-prone is he that we are hardly surprised when his golf pants catch fire.

    Sounds like the pointy-haired boss, portrayed by Rowan Atkinson.

  • Similar to the downhill slide of Dilbert (Score:5, Interesting)

    by sphealey ( 2855 ) on Friday July 18, 2003 @12:12PM (#6472055)
    We would feel sorry for him, if he weren't such a jerk. In fact, we do occasionally find ourselves sympathizing with him, but we soon get over it.
    The early Dilberts were quite funny. They started going downhill IMHO when the character of the boss changed. Originally, the boss was a typical boss-guy: sometimes clueless, sometimes wrong or wrong-headed - but not always. From time to time the boss would demonstrate that his employees were not the proto-gods that they believed, but were also fallible human beings subject to stapler misfires.

    Then when the drawing of the boss changed from the taller, more jowly look to the shorter, fatter-but-thinner-face guy, that changed. After that the employees were 100% godlike and the bosses 100% clueless.

    At that point I found it to be a lot less funny. Because let's face it: a lot of the stupidies of the workplace are caused by the worker bees themselves, not just the evil bosses. And when Dilbert lost the balance that recognized that fact it started to slide (a slide which got worse when Scott Adams was fired from his real technical job).

    sPh

    • Re:Similar to the downhill slide of Dilbert (Score:5, Insightful)

      by Kierthos ( 225954 ) on Friday July 18, 2003 @12:22PM (#6472161) Homepage
      Are you reading the same Dilbert? The one where Wally is a lazy good-for-no-work coffee drinker? Where Alice is frequently violent to fellow co-workers? The one where Dilbert causes most of his own misfortune when the PHB isn't involved?

      The entire company is disfunctional. If they were godlike in skills, they wouldn't be working there. A recent comic even had Dilbert noticing that he wasn't even qualified for his own job any more.

      Incompetence has _never_ been limited just to the PHB, nor just to the people who read those damned management books.

      Kierthos

      • Re:Similar to the downhill slide of Dilbert (Score:5, Interesting)

        by Fesh ( 112953 ) on Friday July 18, 2003 @12:46PM (#6472374) Homepage Journal
        A recent comic even had Dilbert noticing that he wasn't even qualified for his own job any more.


        Funny, I read that one as a comment on the absurdly inflated requirements listed in job postings these days, not that he was actually unfit for the job he was doing.

        Although to be fair there's probably an arms race between the hiring managers and the buzzword-weilding resume-writers occuring.

        • Re:Similar to the downhill slide of Dilbert (Score:5, Interesting)

          by Anonymous Coward on Friday July 18, 2003 @01:36PM (#6472819)
          Absurdly inflated requirements?? oh, c'mon.. I'm sure there's people pounding on their doors with 10 years of Win2K experience, and at *least* 5 years of experience with Oracle9i.

          I *sorely* laughed one time when I was job-shopping online, and found a posting for a company that was looking for someone with a PhD in IT Security, 10+ years experience with internet firewalls, and certifications up the wazoo... and then they say "we've had this job posted for over a year and have only had two applicants". Gee, I wonder why? Meanwhile one of the best firewall/security people I've ever met was in his mid-20's, a consumate geek with no college degree, and totally security-paranoid.

          Now unemployed, I've seen a *lot* of jobs out there with totally rediculous requirements. Luckily, my old boss from a previous job (who loved me and knows how capable I am of *learning* new technologies on the fly) has a job lined up for me (although I've enjoyed my month off ;-) ).

          I've interviewed people with certs and education up the wazoo, who couldn't pick up anything new without 6 months of training (and even then would do everything by 'rote'). And I've interviewed people who have no certs and not much post-HS education who would jump in and pick up anything in a week. Education is *not* everything, attitude and ability to learn is the most important.

          I prefer the latter. I'd rather have someone who can jump in and pick something new up in a short time, and who is *interested* in what they do.. rather than just a paycheck. I was amazed in college (I didn't graduate) with all the people who were in a particular major just because it would 'pay well when they graduate'. I remember a senior year EE major asking for my help (I was a freshman CS major... who grew up tinkering in digital electronics - building my own boards, etc) in designing his final project so he could graduate. I took his design that was like 40 IC's and would never have worked and got it down to 10 IC's and something that actually would work in an hour. I was spouting off 74xxx series chip #'s, knowing exactly what they did off the top of my head, and he had to keep looking them up in the databook to find out what their function was (this is early 80's). The difference was, it wasn't a 'job' for me, it was something I enjoyed doing and was interested in and had done for years as a hobby at that point.

        • Those inflated requirements ?

          Perhaps it's an obvious clue that the job being offered is about to be taken by someone wielding a H1-B visa - it wasn't posted in some obscure journal too was it ?

          :o)

          --voxlator
        • Although to be fair there's probably an arms race between the hiring managers and the buzzword-weilding resume-writers occuring.

          Are hiring managers smart enough to know that a resume that actually has all the requested buzzwords is lying profusely?

          It seems that most job positions advertised could either be filled by gods or liars but not honest schmucks like me.

        • Re:Similar to the downhill slide of Dilbert (Score:4, Interesting)

          by Beliskner ( 566513 ) on Sunday July 20, 2003 @07:12AM (#6483480) Homepage
          Funny, I read that one as a comment on the absurdly inflated requirements listed in job postings these days, not that he was actually unfit for the job he was doing.
          Depressingly, I'm in this situation for real :-(

          My manager is within earshot and I overheard him getting calls from the welfare office, I go to the welfare office's job postings website and to my horror I've found my own job on offer PLUS requiring certifications that I don't have. Despite the fact I've finished all my projects on time, they want someone with certification because that person would "seem" to be able to do the job better than me is my guess. I'm starting to lose faith in Capitalism, it just doesn't work, Sales teams can sell unfinished software (and regard selling bad software as a macho challenge), marketing teams can make the shoddiest trash look great. To be honest, after reading their description of my product, I feel like I'm making candy with all the toppings, not software

          My manager told me "The Bug list for the software you just released is empty. Clearly our clients are unhappy with us and intending to switch to a different provider, I feel you have just lost us one customer, I would take it out of your paycheck but that might be illegal; don't expect a bonus this year"

          Funny thing is, my Managers love Dilbert, and have somehow mentally distanced themselves from it applying to them. Perhaps they see it as a science fiction movie? Miners don't get treated like this because they turn to violence, perhaps that's what us software developers must do to prevent our jobs being outsourced offshore?

      • Even scarier: maybe the original poster thinks these *are* "godlike" levels of infallibility.

        I sure hope not but then again, he may be in management or marketing.
    • Because let's face it: a lot of the stupidies of the workplace are caused by the worker bees themselves, not just the evil bosses

      spoken like a true middle management drone ;). management often determines the direction of a company; be it practices, procedures, technologies or who to partner with. they often also fail to listen to (or ask) the worker bees in the company their thoughts or ideas. when the worker bee quietly asks "WTF are you thinking?!?" they're often put into their place with some mumbo j

    • Let me guess ... (Score:1, Insightful)

      by hobbs ( 82453 )
      ... you are in management?

    • Re:Similar to the downhill slide of Dilbert (Score:5, Funny)

      by sbillard ( 568017 ) on Friday July 18, 2003 @12:34PM (#6472273) Journal
      So... how's that corner office working out for you?

      My TPS report will be ready by the end of the day.
    • At that point I found it to be a lot less funny. Because let's face it: a lot of the stupidies of the workplace are caused by the worker bees themselves, not just the evil bosses. And when Dilbert lost the balance that recognized that fact it started to slide (a slide which got worse when Scott Adams was fired from his real technical job).

      I agree that the nature of Dilbert has changed over the years. Both bosses and workers are more exaggerated now. Scott Adams was sad to see one of his best sources of mat

    • Hmmm, this [dilbert.com] appeared two days ago.

    • There's only one godlike character in Dilbert. (Score:4, Funny)

      by hndrcks ( 39873 ) on Friday July 18, 2003 @01:23PM (#6472706) Homepage
      I am MORDAC, The Preventer of Information Services! [dilbert.com]

      ...at least, everyone in my office thinks so...

  • The Brittas Empire (Score:4, Interesting)

    by fermion ( 181285 ) on Friday July 18, 2003 @12:14PM (#6472072) Homepage Journal
    It does sound like a british comedy. In fact it sounds like The Brittas Empire. Except in that one Gordon Brittas destroys the entire lesuire centre and comes out a hero. I think it is called rising to your level of incompetence.

    The question it really raises is that of inflated levels of self esteem, or perhaps self worth. I prefer to think it is the later. In any case, it certainly illustrates the notion that an ability to initially present yourself as competent may be more important than in fact being competent. Unfortunately being able to fool people for a little while is often all that is needed to succeed.

    Off topic, is there any official news on the Red Dwarf movie? Is a vapour or something that might happen?

    • I think it is called rising to your level of incompetence.

      This is also known around here as the "Peter Principle"; I remember reading the book when I was much younger. The idea is that, you will continue to be promoted until you reach a job you're no longer suited for.

  • Cover shot (Score:3, Informative)

    by pen ( 7191 ) on Friday July 18, 2003 @12:14PM (#6472073)
    here's a shot of the cover [amazon.com]

  • Kartoffel (Score:5, Informative)

    by LordNimon ( 85072 ) on Friday July 18, 2003 @12:18PM (#6472121)
    FYI, "Kartoffel" is German for potato.

    • Re:Kartoffel (Score:3, Funny)

      by pmz ( 462998 )
      FYI, "Kartoffel" is German for potato.

      No, it's what a German says, in English, when looking at an American luxury car.

  • Sounds like "The Office" ? (Score:5, Informative)

    by devitto ( 230479 ) on Friday July 18, 2003 @12:19PM (#6472134) Homepage Journal
    This is almost exactly like the office, in tone, if not setting.

    "The Office" is a UK series that's won loads of the biggest awards, and is, I guess, something yet to make it over to the US on masse.

    When it does, I think it'll be the next "Fawlty Towers"....

  • Mainland Press is requesting stories... (Score:5, Insightful)

    by Anonymous Coward on Friday July 18, 2003 @12:24PM (#6472190)
    and "anecdotes illustrating his theory that the business world is inhabited almost exclusively by knuckleheads."

    For the "The most disastrous business decision you ever witnessed" I would have to say IBM's decision to license DOS from Microsoft. Either that, or the current deathwish that SCO has against IBM and the computing industry in general.

    "The most ridiculous presentation you ever heard": Hasn't Mr. Gump seen, or even heard, of the conference where Balmer comes onstage, jumps around, and screams "DEVELOPERS!" repeatedly at the top of his lungs? I found that hilarious.

    Those should definitely make it into the next book.
      • For the "The most disastrous business decision you ever witnessed" I would have to say IBM's decision to license DOS from Microsoft.

      IBM didn't have a lot of choice .. they were being closely watched by the federal government; this was during or just after the anti-trust suit against IBM launched by LBJ on his last day in office. Strategically it was way safer to license rather than buy.

      In hindsight, a decision with huge ramifications. At the time, a fairly minor detail in a fairly routine deal.

    • For the "The most disastrous business decision you ever witnessed" I would have to say IBM's decision to license DOS from Microsoft.

      That's second.. the first would be Digital Research not taking IBM's calls, thus forcing them to go see MS in the first place :-)

      Another particularly stupid thing IBM did was ignoring the RDBMS market for as long as they did, and letting Oracle get such a huge headstart. But it makes you think... IBM accidentally created two huge industries, PCs and databases, and gave them

  • Did anyone read the review? (Score:4, Funny)

    by MikeD83 ( 529104 ) on Friday July 18, 2003 @12:28PM (#6472217)
    Dick immediately goes about licking the company into shape, with disastrous and frequently hilarious results.

    I can't believe the Slashdot editors would allow a sentance like this to slip by.

  • I've been poking around various bookstores... (Score:5, Funny)

    by idontgno ( 624372 ) on Friday July 18, 2003 @12:35PM (#6472283) Journal
    but I haven't yet seen this title in the non-fiction aisles. Strange.
  • "like Dilbert written from the point of view of the Pointy Haired Boss"
    Wouldn't that really have the boss as the sane one in company full of nutso techies?

    Maybe that wouldn't sell because there are a lot more cubicle victims in the population than bosses.

  • The Office! (Score:3, Informative)

    by dacetone ( 177878 ) * <acetone@technojunkie. o r g> on Friday July 18, 2003 @01:31PM (#6472777) Homepage Journal
    Sounds like David [bbc.co.uk] from The Office [bbc.co.uk] (one of my favorite shows of all-time!). The most awful boss in the world, who thinks he's the greatest, everyone loves him and his 'artistic' soul. It's a show that makes you cringe while wanting more ;) I can't wait to read this book.

  • MRRP (Score:4, Funny)

    by ch-chuck ( 9622 ) on Friday July 18, 2003 @02:18PM (#6473248) Homepage
    mind-numbingly complex Meeting Room Reservation Procedure

    something tells me that Outlook© is somehow involved with this.

  • DTSMH (Score:3, Informative)

    by hackrobat ( 467625 ) <`manish.jethani' `at' `gmail.com'> on Friday July 18, 2003 @02:19PM (#6473254) Homepage
    like Dilbert written from the point of view of the Pointy-Haired Boss
    Why not pick up one written by Scott Adams himself? Dogbert's Top Secret Management Handbook [amazon.com]
  • It reminds me a bit on The Fall And Rise Of Reginald Perrin [cultv.co.uk]

    Now theres the original dysfunctional show - check it out if you can.

    For those who have never seen it, it's somewhere between Dilbert with a touch of BOFH and "The Office"
  • One must read it in the orignal Ferengi. What is lost in the translation is that the boss is always right. :)
  • He wrote a humorous wee screed here [foolsparadise.net]...
  • If youre concerned about psychopaths in management read this article [guardian.co.uk] and google for the author of Bully in Sight [google.com], Tim Field [google.com].
  • I saw this story when it was originally posted and there were less then 5 comments. I went to Amazon.com and looked up the title. The sales rank for it was in the 400ks, like 450,000 +/- 10%.

    An hour later, I checked and its sales rank had gone up to 800 something.

    Tonight, I check and it is now the 40th most popular book being sold on Amazon.

    Behold the power of slashdot!

    (not to mention that not every slashdotter avoids amazon like they claim)

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