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The Matrix It's funny.  Laugh. Media Movies

Feature-Length Matrix Spoof to be Released Soon 326

CrazyMFW writes "'The Helix Loaded', a feature length spoof of the Matrix, has been unveiled to coincide with the general release of The Matrix Revolutions. At LA screenings of the third matrix installment, customers are being handed CD-ROMS shaped like a Red Pill or a Blue Pill. The CD-ROM includes a teaser trailer as a quicktime movie, and directs users to the web site for The Helix. The teaser trailers can also be downloaded from the site. No release date is mentioned for the film, but it does promise several further teaser installments at 2 week intervals - so we should learn more in the next couple of months. From the brief clips it looks like they've done a good job imitating the Matrix CGI on a low-budget."
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Feature-Length Matrix Spoof to be Released Soon

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  • by Brahmastra ( 685988 ) on Friday November 07, 2003 @04:42PM (#7420207)
    They're called Matrix reloaded and Matrix revolutions.
  • That name is sure going to cause problems... Helix / Matrix, I don't really see the connection anyway.
    • by Anonymous Coward
      Most PC users will just give up trying to watch the trailer after Quicktime crashes on them over and over, but the Mac users that slide the pill-shaped CDs into their slot load drives are the ones who are really going to have a fit.

      They can read "The Helix has you" in nice, blurry, anti-aliased text, as the CD goes "ker plunk" and plugs up the CD drive.
  • by dtfinch ( 661405 ) * on Friday November 07, 2003 @04:45PM (#7420234) Journal
    The blue pill trailer has less action, just to warn you all.
  • by Anonymous Coward on Friday November 07, 2003 @04:45PM (#7420238)
    This spoof is funny - though I don't think it is supposed to be...

    www.themeatrix.com [themeatrix.com]

  • by pcp_ip ( 612017 ) on Friday November 07, 2003 @04:46PM (#7420255) Homepage
    The Meattrix [themeatrix.com]
  • by WebMasterJoe ( 253077 ) <joe.joestoner@com> on Friday November 07, 2003 @04:48PM (#7420269) Homepage Journal
    From the brief clips it looks like they've done a good job imitating the Matrix CGI on a low-budget.
    I'd guess they skimped on the web hosting.
  • by Sheetrock ( 152993 ) on Friday November 07, 2003 @04:48PM (#7420271) Homepage Journal
    But the third Matrix, while not quite a cinematic flop, finally broke any tie the series had with the mainstream. As with most anime, if you aren't a hardcore fan of the genre you're unlikely to mentally fill in enough the plot gaps to leave satisfied.

    Parodies only really work if the stuff is popular. But with the three episodes of the Matrix as well as that Animatrix DVD I think most people have had their fill already. It's no Star Wars.

    • by mbourgon ( 186257 ) on Friday November 07, 2003 @05:00PM (#7420395) Homepage
      Um, or not. The third was simply a kick-ass Epic SciFi Action Flick. That's all. Nothing wrong with that at all, I loved it. Yes, I can be disappointed that they didn't answer the "layers" question, that it wasn't an utter mind fsck. But, the third movie was fun. It wrapped things up.

      For better or worse, the mind fsck occured in the minds of the viewers, in the months between movies. There was just enough there to make us create our own idea of the third movie. It just didn't happen to be theirs. As for "The One"'s powers? It's part of their mythos - they built it, they set the rules. It doesn't have to sync with ours.
      • by mblase ( 200735 ) on Friday November 07, 2003 @05:30PM (#7420658)
        Yes, I can be disappointed that they didn't answer the "layers" question

        Oh, for Pete's sake... for the last time, people, the Oracle told us how Neo stopped the Sentinels. The One is powerful enough to connect to the Matrix, and through it the entire network of machines, without being physically plugged into it. She said it right on camera, with no distractions, so everyone could hear it. It was right in the goddamned movie.

        Whether you accept the explanation as sufficient depends on how much disbelief you're willing to suspend, but please keep in mind that while the Matrix movies are many things, hard sci-fi is not one of them.
        • by Minna Kirai ( 624281 ) on Friday November 07, 2003 @07:15PM (#7421582)
          The One is powerful enough to connect to the Matrix

          That's not an answer. "He's powerful enough to do that" is a response you can give to any question without providing actual information.

          Something like "He's got a nano-sized radio transmitter in his brain", "His willpower left a residual image inside the matrix to carry out his desires", or "We're all still inside a meta-matrix, and he's the only one who knows" would qualify as an explanation. "He's powerful enough" doesn't.

          She said it right on camera,

          A character onscreen may be lying. A movie only tells you something if the movie shows you something. (That is why, for example, the first movie didn't say humans provided electricity for machines. That was a line used by a character with no supporting evidence given. And the speaker had a huge motivation to lie.)

          hard sci-fi is not one of them.

          The first installment was hard scifi, which makes it all the more disappointing when the rest aren't.
          • Ah, no. Sorry. The first Matrix was scifi to be sure, but it more definitely was not hard science fiction. See Gattaca for an excellent example of that genre. The Matrix Series is fun scifi, along the lines of star trek, star wars, and practically every other science fiction movie.

            "The body cannot live without the mind." Riiight. Ok.

            The explanations you're talking about are standard star trek techno babble, they explain the powers but invent the method of explanation so there's really no point. I grea
          • "That's not an answer. "He's powerful enough to do that" is a response you can give to any question without providing actual information."

            I suppose you're the person who hated Star Wars because the Jedi's powers didn't make sense to you either.

    • [quote]
      As with most anime, if you aren't a hardcore fan of the genre you're unlikely to mentally fill in enough the plot gaps to leave satisfied.
      [/quote]

      I beg to differ. Badly written anime is just as craptastic as any other badly written medium. I like Japanese animation, but why does Anime have some mystical power here in Slashdot? Why is it regarded as the sacred cow? Why is such trash as Akira and NGE held in such high regard?

      (yeah, mod me down for flame bait because I DARED to profane NGE and Akira,
      • by DeadScreenSky ( 666442 ) on Friday November 07, 2003 @07:44PM (#7421718)
        I like Japanese animation, but why does Anime have some mystical power here in Slashdot?

        You're right. It isn't like every freaking time anime is mentioned on Slashdot we have highly moderated comments slamming the art form, or occasionally a holier-than-thou "The popular anime ________ is trash!"

        (yeah, mod me down for flame bait because I DARED to profane NGE and Akira, instead of answering my legitemate question.)

        You should be modded down for flamebait because your comment offered nothing truly incisive, simply spewing a standard popular complaint that pretty much guaranteed you mod points. (The complaint that you will be modded down only boosts that, as we all know - everyone loves a badass rebel!)

        Regardless, your comment was strictly designed to encourage flames, because it is otherwise nonsensical. It isn't like Evangelion and Akira [rottentomatoes.com] are only held in critical regard on Slashdot! Why pretend this fame is some kind of cultish Slashdot quirk?

        You also completely misunderstood the parent post's point. The quality of a specific anime has nothing to do with it - any film genre (or artform really) that is 'weird' to a viewer will probably fail to draw them in. Most people are severely close-minded about nearly everything new or unusual. You demonstrate this pretty well.
        • Regardless, your comment was strictly designed to encourage flames, because it is otherwise nonsensical. It isn't like Evangelion and Akira [rottentomatoes.com] are only held in critical regard on Slashdot! Why pretend this fame is some kind of cultish Slashdot quirk?

          Because you just proved his point. Instead of answering his questions, you flamed him.

          Honestly--why is Akira held in such high regard? Most of the popular anime I've seen is so incredibly goofy, trite, and cheesy, that I can't help but thi
    • Star Wars sucked (yes, the first three). I'd hope it wasn't another Star Wars. The future will be like Star Trek. Not all dusty like Star Wars :)
  • by precogpunk ( 448371 ) on Friday November 07, 2003 @04:48PM (#7420273) Journal
    While it's cool to see what amatures can do on a low budget I haven't seen any fan spoofs of the matrix that are actually funny. Matrix ping pong [ntv.co.jp] got a laugh out of me though.
  • At LA screenings of the third matrix installment, customers are being handed CD-ROMS shaped like a Red Pill or a Blue Pill.
    So do either of those pills cure a /.ing?
  • by freeze128 ( 544774 ) on Friday November 07, 2003 @04:49PM (#7420292)
    "Unfortunately, no one can be shown what the helix is.... Because the site has been slashdotted!"
  • "From the brief clips it looks like they've done a good job imitating the Matrix CGI on a low-budget"

    Clearly this low budget also extends to their webserver. Mirror anyone?
  • Don't look if you didn't see Reloaded movie. here [chud.com]
  • Well.

    Looks nice, but I'm pretty sure that this will be even better: www.starwreck.com [starwreck.com]

    V.
  • by cdipierr ( 4045 ) on Friday November 07, 2003 @04:59PM (#7420391) Homepage
    Slightly offtopic, but funny and certainly applicable to this message board...

    Last night when I went to see Matrix Revolutions, they aired the typical "please don't pirate movies" ad, but it was upside down and played in reverse (including the sound). All the rest of the ads were normal, so it's obvious that someone that worked at the theater was making a point.

    The audience was about 1/2 full and just about everyone was high school senior (or maybe college) crowd excepting a few of us 30-somethings. But everyone was laughing and found it highly amusing (perhaps more so than the movie itself).

    • Good for them. I have seen these ads -- and as someone who just paid $8 to get in the show, and another $10 on popcorn and a coke, I felt really insulted that they would preach to me like that about about movie pirates. Note to Hollywood: The audiences sitting in the theateres to watch your drivel are your meal ticket not the enemy.
      • Note to Hollywood: The audiences sitting in the theateres to watch your drivel are your meal ticket not the enemy.

        My gut instinct is to agree with you wholeheartedly. On the other hand...

        My (just now) teenage daughter had a friend over a couple of months ago, and the friend brought some of her DVD collection. This collection included Freaky Friday, Jason vs. Freddy, and other movies that were still at the box office! They were in cheap plastic cases with Photoshopped covers, and had no "extras" -- you
        • I'll bet those DVDs also didn't have any unskippable commercials, did they?
        • Either you are trolling or aren't up on current technology. ;-) You can generally download DVD quality versions from peer-to-peer applications shortly after release, which is what they are up in arms about.

          For some reason however, the studios seem to focus far more attention on these average home users rather than the criminal syndicates that produce the disks you describe, who are profiting from violating their copyright.

    • I, being a cheap-labor conservative [conceptualguerilla.com], am shocked and outraged that some film-monkey projectionist would dare subvert his masters carefully crafted propaganda!

      Those expensive projectionists will be replaced by our new AUTO-PROJECTOR 3000 next year anyway. I got in early and bought 10,000 shares. To use the slang of the colored proles: "Mo' money! Mo' money!"

      --

    • We (well, my wife and the people I was there with) were pretty amused when the "please don't pirate movies" ad was followed by the coke ad where the couple is watching the movies in the apartment building next to theirs through the telescope.
    • by jeeryg_flashaccess ( 456261 ) on Friday November 07, 2003 @09:14PM (#7422135) Homepage Journal
      ...wait through the entire heartfelt add..then...when the theatre is in shock and silenced from the horrible truths that are exposed a message will fill the screen:

      "Stop Pirates"

      At that point, in your best pirate voice say, "Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrr"

      Good times.

    • Nice idea, but ... (Score:4, Informative)

      by mike_lynn ( 463952 ) on Friday November 07, 2003 @09:41PM (#7422233)
      Having worked at a movie theater before and having spliced film at said theater before, I can tell you that the more likely cause was that they didn't screen/run it through first. There are 4 different ways you can splice the film together, only 1 of them is correct.

      Funny that it should happen to that trailer, but by no means consider it intentional.
  • by isomeme ( 177414 ) <cdberry@gmail.com> on Friday November 07, 2003 @05:02PM (#7420411) Journal
    No need for this, when Computer Boy [geocities.com] has been out for several years. ("Eat gun!")
  • What CGI Graphics? (Score:3, Interesting)

    by Qweezle ( 681365 ) on Friday November 07, 2003 @05:04PM (#7420435) Journal
    Done a good job of imitating the CGI Graphics of the Matrix on a low budget? Maybe the original Matrix was superb, but look at the second one--for example, the fight scene involving Neo rising up with many Agent Smiths around him--this is one of the (many) scenes in Reloaded where they actually used modified graphics from the video game, and thus the graphics were terrible in some parts of the movie.

    I certainly hope that they'll do better CGI work in Revolutions which I haven't seen, because it seems like they rushed it to market just to take advantage of the first two's success.

    And, I bet you, these Waichovski, or whatever they are, these guys are in it to make moolah--soon we will be hearing about "The Matrix Beginnings" and some story will come out to precede the original story of the Matrix. Just watch, it'll happen. They're doing it with LOTR, the Hobbit will be released after the Trilogy is complete, and then from there they may release further titles, and even I've heard rumors of fan-fiction based movies being released.

    Same thing will happen to the Matrix saga, and it will become a giant, commercialized, consumerist-mushy mess.
    • I agree that fight scene was bad.

      Revolutions didn't have anything that bad. There was only one part, in the final fight scene, where Neo didn't look like Keanuaueuau, however you spell his name, and it was a very short part, and it still looked better than cartoon fighter from Reloaded.

    • Actually, the data they used for the Brawl in the second movie was simply the same data captured for the game. The data was captured twice at once to save time in production. The data itself came it at something like 4GB/sec and was of extremely high detail. I think the plastic look of it was a result of 'close enough' -- otherwise the movie would never have screened with that scene.

    • is one of the (many) scenes in Reloaded where they actually used modified graphics from the video game, and thus the graphics were terrible in some parts of the movie.

      I certainly hope that they'll do better CGI work in Revolutions which I haven't seen, because it seems like they rushed it to market just to take advantage of the first two's success.


      Aren't you the same guy who posted "what next, they'll be bringing books out" in the last LOTR article?

      Nice troll. Subtle.

      m-
    • I can't say I noticed modified graphics from the video game anywhere in the film, and also don't remember being particularly floored by Teh Ugly. It looked a little bit plasticine, but most all CG effects still do to my eyes.

      On another note, there wasn't much rushing; Revolutions was filmed simultaneously with Reloaded, so their six month separation was mostly an invention of the studio / publicity machine / primary profit-motivated entity. Note too that it doesn't hurt to keep them out of most of The R

  • Computer Boy! (Score:5, Interesting)

    by captaineo ( 87164 ) * on Friday November 07, 2003 @05:08PM (#7420471)
    If you are a Matrix fan then "Computer Boy" is a must-see:

    http://www.ifilm.com/filmdetail?ifilmid=115368 [ifilm.com]
    the main site: http://www.geocities.com/cobweb_films/ [geocities.com]

    It's a bit lengthy but the humor is precious.

    "Do you know who this is, Neo?"
    "Mom?"
    "Guess again Neo."
    "... Mom?"

    "Can you drive that thing?"
    "Not yet... Operator! I need a program for an '82 Subaru Swift!"

    • Re:Computer Boy! (Score:3, Interesting)

      by frohike ( 32045 )

      Yeah, but did your company actually spend a "company lunch" ignoring incoming phone calls to watch Computer Boy? Yeeaaauuh dotcom :)

      Am I the only one who burned that Oom-pa-pa song to CD and played it in the car? The artist used to have it on his mp3.com page, but apparently it got removed... there's apparently a "remix" here [holwegner.com].

      "It's ... Swedish..."

  • Another recently released parody trailer is Matrix Unravelled [m-unravelled.com]. Some nice special effects shots, and the performance by "Bill" the Architect is just spot-on.

    • Oh man, this parody shared too much with the movie(s) it was making fun of...poor script, outdone only by the god-awful acting (that's what you get when you use family and friends). The "special effects" basically amounted to the worst blue-screen compositing work I've ever seen, which was probably the funniest part of the parody. Nice try, I could tell there was a lot of effort put into it, but where's the funny? This is part of that 800MB of data generated per person this year that would have been bett
  • it is in your mind.
    "There is no slashdotting"
  • by ldspartan ( 14035 ) on Friday November 07, 2003 @05:24PM (#7420607) Homepage
    I've got a torrent up of one of the trailers (blue pill) in quicktime.

    http://shithole.penix.net/~spartan/blue_pill_web_f inal.mov.torrent [penix.net]

    Have fun.

    --
    lds
  • Vanilla Ice is in the movie. BTW, the movie looks like crap.
  • All the parody you need is here [ebaumsworld.com]
  • MEAT YOUR MAKER
    New Movie Takes Down Factory Farms

    You know the scene: Life seems basically normal until, one day, a mysterious stranger contacts you and tells you your whole existence is a lie. You have two options: red pill or blue pill. Sound familiar? That's right, it's the plot of " The Meatrix [gristmagazine.com]" (no, that's not a typo), in which moopheus the cow shows Leo, the pig protagonist (think Keanu Reeves with a curlier tail), that idyllic life on the family farm is a sham. The stark reality involves facto

  • A couple years back people were re-working The Phantom Menance for a more satisfying result (read my lips: no Jar-Jar). This is feasible with the Mac iMedia suite and PC equivalents. They had posted these on the web. LucasFilm initially sounded flattered, then cracked down on copyright.

    The Matrix and Rings triologies are candidates for fan's intepretations.

  • CD-ROMS shaped like a Red Pill or a Blue Pill.

    Uhhm. Wouldn't they all have to be pretty much shaped like a flat circular disk to work?

    • "Uhhm. Wouldn't they all have to be pretty much shaped like a flat circular disk to work?"

      Nope. Flat, yes, circular, no. You've never seen the novelty discs shaped like US states, the maple leaf etc? The data track only inhabits the inner part where there are no interruptions, picture a square with a circle inscribed inside it, touching all 4 sides: the "corners" would have no data. Oh yeah, they should be more or less balanced too, or I bet they'd cause wear on your CD player motor if you played them
  • This has already been done for the first Matrix. It was called Computer Boy [geocities.com].

    You can watch it at the URLs above or maybe even buy a DVD from somewhere.

    - Serge

  • by Psychic Burrito ( 611532 ) on Friday November 07, 2003 @07:44PM (#7421717)
    If it doesn't contain a dying scene directed so terribly slow and boring that the whole audience goes "just die for christsakes!", it isn't a good spoof! :-) (You have to see Revolutions to get this. On the other hand, please don't!)
  • There's another spoof of the original Matrix movie called "Computer Boy". It's pretty funny. It was obviously filmed in Britain and the lead actor is often dead-on at mocking yet capturing Keanu Reeves simultaneously. My favorite part is the spoof of the duel between Neo and Morpheus. Neo proves to have been a fast learner. Be sure and fast-forward through the scene with the ducks. Time and budget were lacking for the part where Neo is shown encased in the pod with "a tube sticking out of his ass", so

As you will see, I told them, in no uncertain terms, to see Figure one. -- Dave "First Strike" Pare

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