Feature-Length Matrix Spoof to be Released Soon 326
CrazyMFW writes "'The Helix Loaded', a feature length spoof of the Matrix, has been unveiled to coincide with the general release of The Matrix Revolutions. At LA screenings of the third matrix installment, customers are being handed CD-ROMS shaped like a Red Pill or a Blue Pill. The CD-ROM includes a teaser trailer as a quicktime movie, and directs users to the web site for The Helix. The teaser trailers can also be downloaded from the site. No release date is mentioned for the film, but it does promise several further teaser installments at 2 week intervals - so we should learn more in the next couple of months. From the brief clips it looks like they've done a good job imitating the Matrix CGI on a low-budget."
There already exists a spoof of Matrix (Score:5, Funny)
Mod Parent Up (Score:5, Funny)
Oh wait. You weren't kidding.
Re:There already exists a spoof of Matrix (Score:4, Funny)
They're called Matrix reloaded and Matrix revolutions.
Yeah, but they were done pretty poorly, even for fan-made movies. I wonder if we'll get some real sequels.
Re:There already exists a spoof of Matrix (Score:2)
Matrix Bastardization (Score:3, Informative)
Re:There already exists a spoof of Matrix (Score:5, Funny)
Re: (Score:2)
Re:You could not be further from the truth. (Score:2)
I'd probably walk out about the third or fourth hour. The first couple hours were cool, but then it got real boring and pointless. An epic can not stand on its first third; it has to be good all the way through.
Re:You could not be further from the truth. (Score:3, Insightful)
sequel (plural sequels), noun
1. continuation of a story: a movie, novel, or play that continues a story begun in a previous movie, novel, or play
They are sequels. They are not the same movie, just like two towers wasn't the same movie as fellowship. I really liked them both, but I know people who didn't like the second as much. That's a perfe
for Real? (Score:2)
You think THAT is going to cause problems? (Score:2, Funny)
They can read "The Helix has you" in nice, blurry, anti-aliased text, as the CD goes "ker plunk" and plugs up the CD drive.
Re:for Real? (Score:3, Informative)
Real => Helix
Guess that wasn't too obvious :)
If you only download one trailer (Score:5, Funny)
This spoof is even funnier (Score:5, Funny)
www.themeatrix.com [themeatrix.com]
Irony... (Score:4, Funny)
Matrix Moo-vie Spoof (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Matrix Moo-vie Spoof (Score:2)
Just for that I'm eating two Big Macs tonite. (Score:2)
Re:Matrix Moo-vie Spoof (Score:3, Informative)
Re:Matrix Moo-vie Spoof (Score:4, Funny)
Re:Matrix Moo-vie Spoof (Score:2, Interesting)
I, for one, don't empathize with lower-animals' simple brains operating on instinct (except puppies!), and find their flesh very tasty. Agribiz is a necessary evil which could be nicer to the environment; but there's no going back to family farming.
I'm looking forward to lab-grown meat. I look forward even more to the day when we c
Re:Matrix Moo-vie Spoof (Score:2)
What planet are you on? What makes you think that the corporations will ever do that? They already put a massive mark-up on medical supplies, what makes you think that food will be anything different, should they gain control of it?
Key question: Where's the profit? If it's not ther
Re:Matrix Moo-vie Spoof (Score:2)
Short-term greed in our pre-abundance society is already fueling companies [zyvex.com], governments [nano.gov], and research scientists to develop nanotechnology. Long-term, this tech will be the great equalizer, with even food and hardware being open sourced. Can't keep the genie in the bottle.
--
low budget indeed (Score:5, Funny)
Re:low budget indeed (Score:2)
This might've been better received after 1 or 2 (Score:3, Interesting)
Parodies only really work if the stuff is popular. But with the three episodes of the Matrix as well as that Animatrix DVD I think most people have had their fill already. It's no Star Wars.
Re:This might've been better received after 1 or 2 (Score:5, Insightful)
For better or worse, the mind fsck occured in the minds of the viewers, in the months between movies. There was just enough there to make us create our own idea of the third movie. It just didn't happen to be theirs. As for "The One"'s powers? It's part of their mythos - they built it, they set the rules. It doesn't have to sync with ours.
Re:This might've been better received after 1 or 2 (Score:4, Informative)
Oh, for Pete's sake... for the last time, people, the Oracle told us how Neo stopped the Sentinels. The One is powerful enough to connect to the Matrix, and through it the entire network of machines, without being physically plugged into it. She said it right on camera, with no distractions, so everyone could hear it. It was right in the goddamned movie.
Whether you accept the explanation as sufficient depends on how much disbelief you're willing to suspend, but please keep in mind that while the Matrix movies are many things, hard sci-fi is not one of them.
Re:This might've been better received after 1 or 2 (Score:4, Insightful)
That's not an answer. "He's powerful enough to do that" is a response you can give to any question without providing actual information.
Something like "He's got a nano-sized radio transmitter in his brain", "His willpower left a residual image inside the matrix to carry out his desires", or "We're all still inside a meta-matrix, and he's the only one who knows" would qualify as an explanation. "He's powerful enough" doesn't.
She said it right on camera,
A character onscreen may be lying. A movie only tells you something if the movie shows you something. (That is why, for example, the first movie didn't say humans provided electricity for machines. That was a line used by a character with no supporting evidence given. And the speaker had a huge motivation to lie.)
hard sci-fi is not one of them.
The first installment was hard scifi, which makes it all the more disappointing when the rest aren't.
Re:This might've been better received after 1 or 2 (Score:2)
"The body cannot live without the mind." Riiight. Ok.
The explanations you're talking about are standard star trek techno babble, they explain the powers but invent the method of explanation so there's really no point. I grea
Re:This might've been better received after 1 or 2 (Score:2)
I suppose you're the person who hated Star Wars because the Jedi's powers didn't make sense to you either.
Re:This might've been better received after 1 or 2 (Score:3, Insightful)
As with most anime, if you aren't a hardcore fan of the genre you're unlikely to mentally fill in enough the plot gaps to leave satisfied.
[/quote]
I beg to differ. Badly written anime is just as craptastic as any other badly written medium. I like Japanese animation, but why does Anime have some mystical power here in Slashdot? Why is it regarded as the sacred cow? Why is such trash as Akira and NGE held in such high regard?
(yeah, mod me down for flame bait because I DARED to profane NGE and Akira,
Re:This might've been better received after 1 or 2 (Score:5, Insightful)
You're right. It isn't like every freaking time anime is mentioned on Slashdot we have highly moderated comments slamming the art form, or occasionally a holier-than-thou "The popular anime ________ is trash!"
(yeah, mod me down for flame bait because I DARED to profane NGE and Akira, instead of answering my legitemate question.)
You should be modded down for flamebait because your comment offered nothing truly incisive, simply spewing a standard popular complaint that pretty much guaranteed you mod points. (The complaint that you will be modded down only boosts that, as we all know - everyone loves a badass rebel!)
Regardless, your comment was strictly designed to encourage flames, because it is otherwise nonsensical. It isn't like Evangelion and Akira [rottentomatoes.com] are only held in critical regard on Slashdot! Why pretend this fame is some kind of cultish Slashdot quirk?
You also completely misunderstood the parent post's point. The quality of a specific anime has nothing to do with it - any film genre (or artform really) that is 'weird' to a viewer will probably fail to draw them in. Most people are severely close-minded about nearly everything new or unusual. You demonstrate this pretty well.
Re:This might've been better received after 1 or 2 (Score:2)
Because you just proved his point. Instead of answering his questions, you flamed him.
Honestly--why is Akira held in such high regard? Most of the popular anime I've seen is so incredibly goofy, trite, and cheesy, that I can't help but thi
Re:This might've been better received after 1 or 2 (Score:2)
Re:Glad you brought up Anime (Score:2)
Oh really? [biblelookup.com]
Power Puff Girls
The PPG aren't even as strong as traditional Superman.
Where's the humor? (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Where's the humor? (Score:2)
Re:Where's the humor? (Score:2)
It's an extra on the Matrix Reloaded DVD, but as always, you can download it from your favourite p2p client.
Re:Where's the humor? (Score:2)
Here is a (slightly) higher resolution, downloadable version:
http://media.ebaumsworld.com/index.php?e=matrixpon g.wmv" [ebaumsworld.com]
Pills... (Score:2)
Morpheus says... (Score:5, Funny)
Low Budget (Score:2)
Clearly this low budget also extends to their webserver. Mirror anyone?
Matrix Reheated comic spoof of Reloaded (Score:2)
Starwreck (Score:2)
Looks nice, but I'm pretty sure that this will be even better: www.starwreck.com [starwreck.com]
V.
Re:Starwreck (Score:2)
OMFG...that Russian chick modeling the t-shirts is h-h-h-OT! -k
Re:Starwreck (Score:2)
AFAIK she's Finnish. She's also starring in the film. Some more her pictures are here: Helmswoman [starwreck.com].
The "Don't Pirate" movie ad (Score:5, Funny)
Last night when I went to see Matrix Revolutions, they aired the typical "please don't pirate movies" ad, but it was upside down and played in reverse (including the sound). All the rest of the ads were normal, so it's obvious that someone that worked at the theater was making a point.
The audience was about 1/2 full and just about everyone was high school senior (or maybe college) crowd excepting a few of us 30-somethings. But everyone was laughing and found it highly amusing (perhaps more so than the movie itself).
Re:The "Don't Pirate" movie ad (Score:2)
Re:The "Don't Pirate" movie ad (Score:2)
My gut instinct is to agree with you wholeheartedly. On the other hand...
My (just now) teenage daughter had a friend over a couple of months ago, and the friend brought some of her DVD collection. This collection included Freaky Friday, Jason vs. Freddy, and other movies that were still at the box office! They were in cheap plastic cases with Photoshopped covers, and had no "extras" -- you
Re:The "Don't Pirate" movie ad (Score:2)
Re:The "Don't Pirate" movie ad (Score:2)
For some reason however, the studios seem to focus far more attention on these average home users rather than the criminal syndicates that produce the disks you describe, who are profiting from violating their copyright.
Re:The "Don't Pirate" movie ad (Score:2)
You're right, but I think the part they hadn't been told (in a way they'd care about) was why it wasn't a Good Thing. Just because Wal-Mart won't notice a missing pack of gum, doesn't make it right to take the five-finger discount.
On the other hand, just because Disney owns the distribution rights to Miyazaki's Whisper of the Heart [nausicaa.net], doesn't make us criminals for owning a fansub of the still-un
Re:The "Don't Pirate" movie ad (Score:2)
So it's unavailable in any reasonable sense of the word, I guess is what I'm saying.
Re:The "Don't Pirate" movie ad (Score:2, Funny)
Those expensive projectionists will be replaced by our new AUTO-PROJECTOR 3000 next year anyway. I got in early and bought 10,000 shares. To use the slang of the colored proles: "Mo' money! Mo' money!"
--
Re:The "Don't Pirate" movie ad (Score:3, Funny)
use the ad for comedic purpose... (Score:4, Funny)
"Stop Pirates"
At that point, in your best pirate voice say, "Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrr"
Good times.
Nice idea, but ... (Score:4, Informative)
Funny that it should happen to that trailer, but by no means consider it intentional.
Re:The "Don't Pirate" movie ad (Score:2)
They state that you should remain 'vigilent' for other people in the audience using recording equipment, and that if you use such equipment youreslf, you will be detained and arrested, with potential for two years' imprisonment. No BS, they really say that.
Add that to the stupid brown dots they're adding to all the films (very noticable in Kill Bill), and going to the cinema is turning into a real headfu*k.
The perfect parody already exists (Score:3, Informative)
What CGI Graphics? (Score:3, Interesting)
I certainly hope that they'll do better CGI work in Revolutions which I haven't seen, because it seems like they rushed it to market just to take advantage of the first two's success.
And, I bet you, these Waichovski, or whatever they are, these guys are in it to make moolah--soon we will be hearing about "The Matrix Beginnings" and some story will come out to precede the original story of the Matrix. Just watch, it'll happen. They're doing it with LOTR, the Hobbit will be released after the Trilogy is complete, and then from there they may release further titles, and even I've heard rumors of fan-fiction based movies being released.
Same thing will happen to the Matrix saga, and it will become a giant, commercialized, consumerist-mushy mess.
Re:What CGI Graphics? (Score:2)
Revolutions didn't have anything that bad. There was only one part, in the final fight scene, where Neo didn't look like Keanuaueuau, however you spell his name, and it was a very short part, and it still looked better than cartoon fighter from Reloaded.
Re:What CGI Graphics? (Score:2)
Actually, the data they used for the Brawl in the second movie was simply the same data captured for the game. The data was captured twice at once to save time in production. The data itself came it at something like 4GB/sec and was of extremely high detail. I think the plastic look of it was a result of 'close enough' -- otherwise the movie would never have screened with that scene.
Re:What CGI Graphics? (Score:2)
I certainly hope that they'll do better CGI work in Revolutions which I haven't seen, because it seems like they rushed it to market just to take advantage of the first two's success.
Aren't you the same guy who posted "what next, they'll be bringing books out" in the last LOTR article?
Nice troll. Subtle.
m-
Re:What CGI Graphics? (Score:2, Informative)
I can't say I noticed modified graphics from the video game anywhere in the film, and also don't remember being particularly floored by Teh Ugly. It looked a little bit plasticine, but most all CG effects still do to my eyes.
On another note, there wasn't much rushing; Revolutions was filmed simultaneously with Reloaded, so their six month separation was mostly an invention of the studio / publicity machine / primary profit-motivated entity. Note too that it doesn't hurt to keep them out of most of The R
Computer Boy! (Score:5, Interesting)
http://www.ifilm.com/filmdetail?ifilmid=115368 [ifilm.com]
the main site: http://www.geocities.com/cobweb_films/ [geocities.com]
It's a bit lengthy but the humor is precious.
"Do you know who this is, Neo?"
"Mom?"
"Guess again Neo."
"... Mom?"
"Can you drive that thing?"
"Not yet... Operator! I need a program for an '82 Subaru Swift!"
Re:Computer Boy! (Score:3, Interesting)
Yeah, but did your company actually spend a "company lunch" ignoring incoming phone calls to watch Computer Boy? Yeeaaauuh dotcom :)
Am I the only one who burned that Oom-pa-pa song to CD and played it in the car? The artist used to have it on his mp3.com page, but apparently it got removed... there's apparently a "remix" here [holwegner.com].
"It's ... Swedish..."
Re: (Score:2)
Matrix Unravelled parody trailer (Score:2, Interesting)
Another recently released parody trailer is Matrix Unravelled [m-unravelled.com]. Some nice special effects shots, and the performance by "Bill" the Architect is just spot-on.
Abuse of bittorrent... (Score:2)
They are not slashdotted (Score:2)
"There is no slashdotting"
Torrent of one Trailer (Score:4, Informative)
http://shithole.penix.net/~spartan/blue_pill_web_
Have fun.
--
lds
Here's the red pill torrent too: (Score:4, Informative)
Re:Torrent of one Trailer (Score:2, Funny)
Somebody else can be the test dummy.
Most people missed the big part (Score:2)
Fart Within the Matrix (Score:2)
Check out The Meatrix too... (Score:2, Informative)
New Movie Takes Down Factory Farms
You know the scene: Life seems basically normal until, one day, a mysterious stranger contacts you and tells you your whole existence is a lie. You have two options: red pill or blue pill. Sound familiar? That's right, it's the plot of " The Meatrix [gristmagazine.com]" (no, that's not a typo), in which moopheus the cow shows Leo, the pig protagonist (think Keanu Reeves with a curlier tail), that idyllic life on the family farm is a sham. The stark reality involves facto
fan's "edit" of Matrix trilogy? (Score:2)
The Matrix and Rings triologies are candidates for fan's intepretations.
"CD ROMs shaped like" ??? (Score:2)
CD-ROMS shaped like a Red Pill or a Blue Pill.
Uhhm. Wouldn't they all have to be pretty much shaped like a flat circular disk to work?
Shaped CD-ROMs (Score:2)
Nope. Flat, yes, circular, no. You've never seen the novelty discs shaped like US states, the maple leaf etc? The data track only inhabits the inner part where there are no interruptions, picture a square with a circle inscribed inside it, touching all 4 sides: the "corners" would have no data. Oh yeah, they should be more or less balanced too, or I bet they'd cause wear on your CD player motor if you played them
Re:Shaped CD-ROMs (Score:2)
Computer Boy (Score:2)
You can watch it at the URLs above or maybe even buy a DVD from somewhere.
- Serge
Of course... (Score:3, Funny)
Another Matrix I spoof... (Score:2)
There's another spoof of the original Matrix movie called "Computer Boy". It's pretty funny. It was obviously filmed in Britain and the lead actor is often dead-on at mocking yet capturing Keanu Reeves simultaneously. My favorite part is the spoof of the duel between Neo and Morpheus. Neo proves to have been a fast learner. Be sure and fast-forward through the scene with the ducks. Time and budget were lacking for the part where Neo is shown encased in the pod with "a tube sticking out of his ass", so
Re:http://www.thehelixloaded.com (Score:2, Offtopic)
Great, kill the best feature of the system. Believe it or not, some of us actually perform post-moderation adjustments on moderated posts. Negative moderations are just as helpful as positive. If *YOU* dont like negative mods then go into your options and give Flamebait+1 Offtopic+1 etc.
Re:cd-rom havoc (Score:5, Funny)
Pick the blue CD-ROM. When you insert it into your PC, your system will reboot into Microsoft Windows and you won't remember ever changing your system configuration.
If you pick the red one, your chair will pull itself out from under your butt and you'll find yourself in the storm sewer. But at least you won't be running Windows.
[ObReality: If these shaped CDs [crystalcle...pedcds.com] haven't torn up anyone's reader, you should be safe with a simple oval.]
Re:cd-rom havoc (Score:2)
Red Pill torrent link: (Score:5, Informative)
Blue Pill torrent link: (Score:2, Informative)
Re:My kingdom for a Torrent link? (Score:2)
Re:Hi Chris (Score:2, Interesting)
Re:CGI?! Jesus Christ!!! (Score:5, Informative)
I knew of CGI as a movie acronym long before I knew of CGI as a Web programming acronym -- and I was writing CGI guestbook applications in 1995, using C and printf/getenv. So I think the Common Gateway Interface would lose in any sort of chronological pissing contest.
Re:CGI?! Jesus Christ!!! (Score:5, Informative)
You might want to look things up before you post... but then, this is
m-
Hey, Dumb ass (Score:2)
You are dumber the salt.
There, had to say it.
Re:CGI?! Jesus Christ!!! (Score:4, Interesting)
This is one of the times I wished Slashdot had a (-1: Stupid) or (-1: Wrong) moderation. I'll leave it to the other comments to explain why.
Re:CGI?! Jesus Christ!!! (Score:4, Funny)
Actually, I think it should be (+5: Stupid) or (+5: wrong) - that way, people will get to see these. if it's -1, they'd dissapear and we'd lose a few laughs.
Re:CGI?! Jesus Christ!!! (Score:3, Insightful)
No, you didn't. What you had to say was "What's the I in CGI stand for?
Re:CGI?! Jesus Christ!!! (Score:2)
Can somebody pls explain to me how this was modded as +5? Since when is the usage of acronymns controversial?
Re:CGI?! Jesus Christ!!! (Score:2)
He was modded up so we can all laugh at him.
Re:CGI?! Jesus Christ!!! (Score:2)
Maybe we need some new acronyms...