The 101 Dumbest Moments in Business 460
An anonymous reader writes "Business 2.0's fourth annual review of the most shameful, dishonest, and just plain stupid moments of the past year. Yes, SCO is represented..."
The best defense against logic is ignorance.
I've got one ... (Score:5, Funny)
Mark one for the "little guy".
Re:I've got one ... (Score:2)
Re:I've got one ... (Score:3, Informative)
Re:I've got one ... (Score:5, Insightful)
1. Static electricity is a potential problem. You should have have carpet in a server room, or a workbench area. But this is a minor point.
2. Heat. This is a real problem. Many servers (including many of my older IBM servers) have planer boards in the bottom of the cases. For those of you in Rio Linda, the planer board is where the cpu and drm (voltage regulator) is mounted. This is the hottest portion of the server case by a long shot. These system exhaust the hot air at the bottom back and/or bottom of the base. This is why they have pedestals, to keep the bottom of the case raised slightly to aid airflow
Funny thing, if you HAVE to put this type of server flat on carpet, the smartest thing you can do is to put them upside down, so the tech that installed them was probably doing the best with what he had. No components inside the computer cares if it is upside down. Hard drives and fans work just fine upside down, and most fans work fine at 90 degrees as well. (old systems used to mount HDs this way, I don't personally recommend it for a 15k drive)
If you have any doubts as to what is stated herein, go take any old computer, lie it directly on the carpet with the normally hottest surface down (usually top or bottom, depending on airflow configuration) and let it lie there a few hours. Lift and feel. The carpet acts as an insulator, and WILL lead to premature failure. Remember, the average server has been running continuously for a couple years, not just a couple hours.
Re:I've got one ... (Score:3, Informative)
Every tower server I own is painted, and the point is when you do upgrades or maintenance you risk the problem of static. Any fool knows you don't carpet a server room, this isn't even a point worth discussing. Plus, I stated flatly, its a minor but real point.
the carpet will lead to premature failure, which is certainl
WTF? (Score:5, Funny)
Are they hiring?
Re:WTF? (Score:5, Funny)
Re:WTF? (Score:2, Funny)
Re:WTF? (Score:2)
Re:WTF? (Score:5, Funny)
"That's not a bug! It's a feature!"
- A midget.
What is this!!! (Score:5, Funny)
How in the world am I supposed to know how to think? You expect me to actually read the article?
Re:What is this!!! (Score:3)
It's like they got the number off by one or something...
I laughed the first time, snickered the second and groaned by the third time...
From the article... (Score:5, Insightful)
That's the dumbest moment in advertising? I thought that commercial was hilarious!!
Re:From the article... (Score:2, Interesting)
Re:From the article... (Score:5, Interesting)
30 On the plus side, all the applicants were buying Eclipses
"Anyone, feasibly, given enough time and enough resources, could hack into any system."--Brad Hill, CIO of Dealerskins, a Tennessee firm that hosts websites for car dealerships, confessing in September that the company had exposed 1,000 customers' car-loan applications on an unprotected website. The Dealerskins "hack"--selecting "Source" from Internet Explorer's View menu to examine the webpage's HTML code--takes about a quarter of a second.
[/QUOTE]
Nice to know that my internet financial transactions are safe since they're being handled by professionals. (Professional idiots, apparently.)
Re:From the article... (Score:3, Funny)
Your first clue as to how this could have happened...
.Re:From the article... (Score:3, Funny)
When in the mid-west he is on a big tractor out plowing a field and he says, "Real milkshakes with enough buttermilk to lube a tractor!"
Two weeks later, the mid-west scene was cut from that commercial, which continued to air for about 4-5 more months.
I h
Re:From the article... (Score:4, Informative)
Re:From the article... (Score:2)
So did I.. plus the fact that the "raised by wolves" guy looked suspiciously like Mr. Bean, it was just the perfect set-up..
Re:From the article... (Score:3, Insightful)
How funny, meaningful, informative, or insightful a commercial is, is pretty much meaningless by itself. We can all recall many very funny or interesting commercials, but can't remember the product. Banks are famous for this. I could give other examples, but you wouldn't remember the commercial if I named the product
The fact that you remember the product, liked the commercial, and would possibly co
Points here (Score:3, Interesting)
You might want to remember, if 10% of people ignore a commercial, 45% of people remember it because they like it, and 45% of people remember it but it bothered them... 90% still remember the commercial and have a company name quite possibly stuck in their head. Ho
Could Have Been Worse! Re:From the article... (Score:3, Informative)
* * *
There's an SUV commercial featuring a suburban dad Raised By Wolves. He's shown chasing deer, fetching sticks, and cavorting with timber wolves.
My question: Which came first, the car commercial or Quiznos's?
Stefan
Re:From the article... (Score:2)
The All Time Dumbest Is... (Score:5, Insightful)
If IBM had played hardball and demanded ownership, more than likely Gates would have caved. The world would be much different today, that's for sure.
No butterflys. The Rolling Stones wouldn't have sold out...ok, maybe that would still have happened.
Re:The All Time Dumbest Is... (Score:5, Informative)
Coke announcing machines that would raise prices in summer (instead of saying that the machines would reduce prices in winter). Its a marketing classic!
Re:The All Time Dumbest Is... (Score:5, Insightful)
Remember what IBM was like back then.
Re:The All Time Dumbest Is... (Score:5, Informative)
Pixar (Score:3, Funny)
Forget (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Forget (Score:3, Informative)
Re:Forget (Score:4, Funny)
SCO is in the 81-90 section? (Score:3, Informative)
Re:SCO is in the 81-90 section? (Score:3, Insightful)
Re:SCO is in the 81-90 section? (Score:4, Interesting)
now if this was the list of the most unethical companies...... ding ding ding we have a winner
Re:SCO is in the 81-90 section? (Score:2, Interesting)
Agreed. It is not a list of Evil Companies, but companies that make bad business decisions. SCO is shrewed because they went from having a 90% chance of death and 10% chance of mere piddly survivle, to an 80% chance of death and a 20% chance of getting royalties on the second biggest OS in history and being huge. Evilness aside, the second is the smarter choice it appears. At l
Re:SCO is in the 81-90 section? (Score:3, Interesting)
But people don't know. Just this morning Darl was interviewed on CNN where he painted the picture that those "Linux hackers" are attacking his business. Then he was asked a question about SCO's reward for leads ($250K) - could it be that the "bad guy" could turn someone in just to get the reward?
Darl's answer was - yeah, potentially... that's what it has come down to, they can't sell Linux, it's free, so they attack us to get the money.
Not exa
Re:SCO is in the 81-90 section? (Score:3, Funny)
*runs*
Million Mac Marathon (Score:3, Insightful)
Re:Million Mac Marathon (Score:3, Insightful)
Note that Sculley was at Apple's helm for both disasters.
Jobs wasn't kidding when he said Sculley would "change the world."
Here's one... (Score:5, Funny)
Today's Physics Lesson:
Generally speaking, when something is cooled down it contracts and when it is heated it expands. The chemical compound commonly known as "water" follows this rule until 4 degrees Celsius (just under 40 degrees Fahrenheit) when it reaches its maximum density and starts expanding as it is further cooled. One interesting fact is that if you read the ingredients for many common beverages (say Diet Coke for example), you would see that they are comprised mostly of this "water" substance and thus take on many of its interesting physical characteristics. Another interesting fact is that in order to make "ice" which is the common name for "water" in its solid state, you generally have cool it to below 0 degrees Celsius (32 degrees Fahrenheit). Surprisingly enough, we actually have a device in our very own office building commonly known as a "freezer" capable of cooling "water" enough to bring about this magical state change.
So what is the point of my little physics/trivia lesson? When you put an (already pressurized) can of Diet Coke into a freezer for more than a few minutes, it typically explodes!
In the future, please refrain from placing beverages in the office freezer.
The Management
Re:Here's one... (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Here's one... (Score:3, Informative)
Re:Here's one... (Score:2)
Hmm, I always thought the base wasn't convex because if it was rounded out on the bottom it would fall over whenever you attempted to stand it on a flat surface. Not so useful for a container holding liquid really ...
Re:Here's one... (Score:4, Informative)
Re:Here's one... (Score:3, Insightful)
Re:Here's one... (Score:3, Informative)
Nope. I've seen the bottoms get popped out, but I've also seen cold cans explode. We had a very sticky front seat of a car after leaving a can in it for a cold week.
I was more raising the issue since I think it odd that they built in these protections, but apparently they don't always (or even usually) work.
Re:Here's one... (Score:3, Informative)
It depends. :)
One of the cans had the bottom pop out like several people expect to happen. Most of the cans showed signs of the bottom starting to be pushed out, some were just fine though. Since I could no longer put the can with the bottom inverted down, I had to open and drain it and I can tell you that the pressure is indeed increased - soda spilled ever
Re:Here's one... (Score:3, Interesting)
That's a hell of a freezer for it to happen in 5 minutes or so.
Re:Here's one... (Score:3, Funny)
Do you know how many *YEARS* it took for me to get my fucktard room mates to stop putting bottles of Corona beer in the freezer "so it would be ice-cold when I get home"?
The effect is especially amusing when you have an automatic icemaker with a door dispenser. Shards of clear glass are amazingly transparent when interspersed with ice cubes.
Re:Here's one... (Score:3, Informative)
(Leaving unopened cans in the car overnight in winter also demonstrates this principle.)
Re:Here's one... (Score:2)
Re:I don't see why this is funny. (Score:3, Funny)
Re:I don't see why this is funny. (Score:2)
Also when frozen, it rises to the top, rather than sinking (which common sense would have you believe - heat rises, except when it's water, urr....)
I know enough physics to know the two are related (it's expanded therefore of lower density than the water that hasn't frozen) but as to *why* it expands - well time to enlighten the slashdot crowd...!
Re:I don't see why this is funny. (Score:4, Informative)
Now, imagine breaking up this structure. Take the top molecule and rotate it by approximately 120 degrees, so that the H atom in the upper left of the image is now positioned between the H atoms bonded to the O second from the top. This is what happens when the ice melts... the molecules get closer together, causing the density to increase slightly upon melting.
If you have access to the Feynman lectures on physics, there is much better explanation with more pictures explaining this phenomenon.
Re:Here's one... (Score:2)
Number 16 - Spike Lee (Score:5, Interesting)
Re:Number 16 - Spike Lee (Score:3, Interesting)
Remember any publicity is good publicity
Re:Number 16 - Spike Lee (Score:3, Interesting)
He could certainly make a case... until reading this article, I thought he had something to do with the network. Not just because they used the name "Spike," but because the style of their logo reminded me vaguely of something Spike-Lee rel
OSDN Personals (Score:5, Funny)
And you thought you loved your car? (Score:5, Funny)
Re:And you thought you loved your car? (Score:2)
Uh... no. Don't do that.
(Seriously, an ex co-worker was part of the Sony Canada business team involved).
MadCow.
Since No One Reads the Article (Score:3, Interesting)
12 It could be worse. At least they're not selling wolf milk.
In July, a McDonald's outlet in Chicago's Field Museum is closed by health inspectors who discover that the food preparation area is backed up with raw sewage and that employees have changed the expiration dates on 200 cartons of milk.
#102 (Score:5, Funny)
SCO is at No. 83 (Score:2, Informative)
for those of you who can't be bothered to RTFA.
michael, you think we're psychic or what? Try using a link maybe when you talk about SCO's position [business2.com].
Nobody cares about anything except maybe SCO and the RIAA (at No 82, on the same page).
Taking the Fun out of Life (Score:5, Insightful)
And since when is it sexist to show women playing football? Sure, they were in lingere, but that just shows off the beauty of nature. What do people have against nature? Why are people so damn puritanical in this country?
Are we even allowed to have fun anymore?
Re:Taking the Fun out of Life (Score:3, Insightful)
I doubt anyone would consider it sexist to show women PLAYING football. Softcore porn masquerading as football, sponsored by a major automaker, on the other hand, certainly could be offensive. It implies that whereas men can play sports, women are just there for sexual arousal.
Here it is. (Score:5, Informative)
83 How to win friends and influence software sales.
"Terrorists do things designed to intimidate people, and we see a lot of that going on all the time--people trying to attack us or people that we're associated with."--SCO Group CEO Darl McBride, complaining about the backlash from hundreds of thousands of Linux users after the former Linux software vendor sued IBM, a major Linux proponent, for allegedly violating its intellectual-property rights.
Darl really did [pcworld.com] say that! - i know it is hard to believe.
Talk about the kettle calling the pot...
Follow up to the follow up (Score:3)
Part 3 Something doesn't smell right. The next day, realizing that nobody's buying the April-Fool's-joke-29-days-after-April-Fool's-Day explanation, Microsoft calls back reporters and admits that it had told an iLulu: The project was indeed real but has subsequently been killed. "We jumped the gun basically yesterday in confirming that it was a hoax," says MSN group product manager Lisa Gurry. "In fact, it was not."
Wow. What a completely insane project. Many people were certainly fired for spending money on that.
-B
LaCrosse (Score:5, Informative)
In Canada, General Motors is forced to come up with a new name for its Buick LaCrosse sedan after discovering that crosse is a slang term for masturbation in Quebec.
Its also a slang term for "a rip-off".
I never heard it used to mean masturbation when used as a noun, its masturnbatory meaning is only applied when used as a verb. So To me that GM car sounds more like a rip-off than a jerk-off. Also note that GM laid off a lot of people in Quebec recently by closing down a plant...
Ah, fond memories of the sign "do not cross the track" at the amusement park with my friends when I was 14... : )
Re:LaCrosse (Score:4, Funny)
Did they mention... (Score:5, Interesting)
Clear Channel is worse than the devil.
Strong Mutual Funds (Score:5, Funny)
I don't know if I trust my finances to a guy who, when you look him up in the phone book is listed as Strong, Dick.
The guy's probably pretty good at "screwing" his investors.
</juvenile_humor>
Memory (Score:5, Interesting)
Maybe that's a role played by HR consulting firms that I'm simply not aware of, but my understanding is that those guys typically search criminal records and so forth.
Who's up for a web site that catalogs this sort of behaviour, easy to search, for use during recruitment? Otherwise these guys just prey on our lack of communal memory.
Re:Memory (Score:3, Informative)
Re:Memory (Score:5, Insightful)
1) It's none of your business.
2) If the government were doing it, how would you feel?
3) The "second chance" is the key to our theories that people can be reformed.
4) Your proposed system would "convict" people outside of a court of law, possibly making their lives miserable with no justification other then hearsay.
5) Isn't this what references are supposed to be for?
What? (Score:2)
Security holes? (Score:2, Funny)
Fi
New Coke? (Score:2)
And what about Divx? (not the codec)
Re:New Coke? (Score:2)
Re:New Coke? (Score:2)
The
[Real] Coke --> New Coke --> Coke classic
changes allowed them to change the sweetener (sugar -> sugar and/or corn stuff) without people noticing as much.
Re:New Coke? (Score:2)
Snopes to the rescue, again..
Comment removed (Score:3, Informative)
I actually witnessed the QVC incident... (Score:5, Funny)
My wife was watching QVC, and I wasn't really paying attention until I saw the guy fall off the ladder. At first, I thought it was a part of the show until I heard someone saying, "It's OK, he's moving..."
Then it occurred to me that perhaps they would have a hard time selling this ladder when their own demonstrator fell off the thing on national tv!
And the best part: The host continued to plug the ladder as safe and convenient, in spite of what had just happened!
Re:I actually witnessed the QVC incident... (Score:2, Informative)
Re:I actually witnessed the QVC incident... (Score:3, Funny)
http://www.nihonto.ca/Knives.mpeg
#1 -- two greedy dicks (Score:5, Funny)
from the article:
come on!! they had a PERFECT headline for the #1 dumbest moment, they could have had:
damn the political correctness!
Number 60 is everywhere!!! (Score:2, Informative)
Y'know, this is no different than just about any CEO speech I've heard in any of a dozen companies in the last five yea
dumbest != shameful/dishonest (Score:3, Informative)
But, how many replies to this article will rave about SCO being dumb and that they should be rated higher? Probably too many due to a little myopia. What does SCO care if they piss of linux advocates? It's not like they have to worry about the opinions of most techies. They can't lose market share they didn't have. And what do they care if people are driven away from Linux to truly other systems if they succeed in forcing companies to pony up licensing fees? If they win they make money they wouldn't have. If they lose they die but they've survived longer than if they'd never tried.
Their moves may be detestable to
A corporation's chief mission is to survive. That comes long before societal and ethical concerns.
chevy (Score:2, Funny)
Re:chevy (Score:3, Informative)
Never happened. [snopes.com]
My favorite: (Score:5, Funny)
U.K. energy company Powergen finds itself so often confused with a similarly named Italian battery maker that it issues a statement disavowing any connection between the two enterprises. It's not so much the Italian company that the Brits want to distance themselves from as its Web address: Powergenitalia.com.
The humor . . . it is too much . . .
$21 billion (Score:5, Funny)
Coulda bought $21 billion worth of beer and returned the bottles and still would a made $900 million more money.
Purain? Eeeeeeewwwwww! (Score:4, Funny)
In February, inventor J. Hutton Pulitzer files a trademark application for Purain, which he proposes as the name for a line of processed rainwater. When the Dallas Observer mocks Pulitzer's audacity--he was the man behind the CueCat scanner flop--he transforms the Purain website into a lecture about media schadenfreude: "Sin, greed, hate, envy, murder, fighting, deception, malicious behavior, and gossip. Sounds like today's media--doesn't it?"
Purain is a french word for "liquid manure".
I hope they're planning to compete against Naya and Perrier on their home turf! That'll be an entertaining press release.
"Terrorists do things. . . (Score:4, Funny)
You're absolutely right Mr. McBride. Now, about this letter you sent me about a license fee for something you don't have any known rights to, complete with a threat to raise said fee if I don't comply in a timely manner?
Keep talking, maybe next year you can break into the top 50.
KFG
So where's the true evil? (Score:5, Insightful)
Bottom line, I'd like to see a magazine doing an article on the REAL abuses of businesses, and not just their silly little dumb decisions.
Re:Entry #20 (Score:4, Funny)
What's a popup?
Wait... [thinks long and hard] ... that's one of those Internet Explorer afflictions, isn't it?
Take one of these, six times a day:
Mozilla [mozilla.org], Opera [opera.com], etc etc etc
Sheesh! Anonymous cowards these days! When I was a lad, etc etc etc
Re:Why doesn't Slashdot... (Score:2)
Re:# 97 Boss being a complete jerkwad. (Score:5, Insightful)
The problem I have with this - as I expect most people do - is that it's a double standard. If my wife wants to contact me at work, that's verbotten. If there's an emergency at work after hours, the company expects to be able to count on my personal resources (phone, computer, time, etc.) because, well, because...
If the company has no loyalty to me, if they refuse to take my side, then I'll refuse to take theirs. On the other hand, if they have the common decency to allow reasonable use of company resources for personal reasons, then I'll be more than happy to allow them to make reasonable use of my personal resources for company reasons.
I'd say the key word here is reasonable. If the company is willing to be reasonable with me, I'm willing to be reasonable with them - and vice versa. The company often gets to define what's reasonable; in the above case, based on the company's attitude towards employee use of company resources, I think that a reasonable response to your boss calling you at home would be to slap them with a cease-and-desist order for harassment.
In any case, while I think the above was a good example of a pretty unreasonable policy (at least for a salaried employee), you're right - at least it was it writing.
Re:# 97 Boss being a complete jerkwad. (Score:3, Insightful)
There is a benefit to having clear, concise computer, telephone and security policies in place, but there are diplomatic ways to phrase such policies in an employee manual, not by way of a blunt (if not outright rude) email from a
Re:# 97 Boss being a complete jerkwad. (Score:4, Insightful)
Where does it say that? You apparently can read things I that I can't. If you can read into this that employees are not allowed to have emergencies, then I can read into it that emergencies are a different situation, and leeway is usually given. Then again, our definition of emergency may differ.
Or perhaps you're an idiot who has no idea that, generally speaking, fear is the worst way to motivate employees to do a good job.
Letting the personal bit go, have you ever had employees?. I have. I agree that fear, while it can be an excellent motivator, is not the way to motivate your employees.
This is not about fear. In fact, I would say that this is just the opposite. The greatest human fear is the unknown. This policy eliminates that fear. Here are the rules. Follow them, or be terminated. There is no inferred fear there. If this was the *only* policy that the company had, then yeah, it's a pretty piss poor motivator, and no one in their right mind would work there.
This is not about motivation. It's about expecting employees to follow the rules. Have you read what the latest virus/worms costs companies in lost time and other costs. Get your damned email at home. It's not your computer or network to play with. It's mine. It is there so you can do your job.
If I let you surf the net between calls, be happy I do. Maybe I will even let you check your hotmail account.
But don't think for a MINUTE I am going to let you use your work email account (which is what this memo is about) for personal reasons. I don't need the company mailboxes/servers full of spam and viruses and Nieman Marcus cookie recipies. It cost me money to run these servers and administer them. The more money it costs me, the less profitable our business is, and the less you are gonna wanna work here. Deal with it.
In regards to the phones, how is it irrelevant? If I am running a call center, I get and keep clients based upon my service levels. One of the first things a client looks at when choosing a customer for tech support is average speed of answer. (Been there, done that, trust me... its a big issue) If you are on the phone, not doing something work related, what am I paying you for? Use the phone in the break room when you are on your break. Asking employees not to use the phones for personal calls (when on the clock) is not the practice of some totalitarian regime. It's a good business descision.
Look at it this way. You work for XYZ technical services. You have computers in the break rooms, you have a great benefits package, you have phones in the break rooms. You get a full hour for lunch. We have a great cafeteria and good restaraunts nearby. You are allowed to surf the web between calls. You get excellent training, tuition reimbursement, and *real* certifications by company trainers that you can take with you when you leave. There are emergency contact numbers that your loved ones, or your childrens school administration can call to get ahold of you. You can even have your cell phone with you at your desk, you can get your text messages, but I ask that you not make or recieve calls while you are "logged in" to the phones to take calls from clients.
Suddenly, you get the above memo. Do you have a problem with it now?
We don't know what the conditions are like at the company that this memo was issued at. They could be like I just decribed.
I described it that way because that is very much like a company I used to work for. If I had any brains back in the mid 90's I would still be working for them. But I was stupid and followed a promise of better money, and faster certifications. I didn't realize how good I had it. That company had a policy very much like what this memo states. Not quite so harshly stated certainly, but it reads very much like the memo people recieved after being caught violating the personal use policy the *first* time
Oh, BTW, ask anyone who knows me. I have more personality than I know what to do with.