Star Wars Minutiae 290
Class Act Dynamo writes "CNN does a story on some of the finer points of making the Star Wars flicks. I like the part where Mark Hamill discusses the theoretical logistics of employing janitorial staff for the entire Death Star. Enjoy."
The logistics of building the Death Star (Score:5, Funny)
Dante: Yeah.
Randal: Now the first one they built was completed and fully operational before the Rebels destroyed it.
Dante: Luke blew it up. Give credit where it's due.
Randal:And the second one was still being built when they blew it up.
Dante: Compliments of Lando Calrissian.
Randal: Something just never sat right with me the second time they destroyed it. I could never put my finger on it-something just wasn't right.
Dante: And you figured it out?
Randal: Well, the thing is, the first Death Star was manned by the Imperial army-storm troopers, dignitaries- the only people onboard were Imperials.
Dante: Basically.
Randal: So when they blew it up, no prob. Evil is punished.
Dante: And the second time around...?
Randal: The second time around, it wasn't even finished yet. They were still under construction.
Dante: So?
Randal: A construction job of that magnitude would require a helluva lot more manpower than the Imperial army had to offer. I'll bet there were independent contractors working on that thing: plumbers, aluminum siders, roofers.
Dante: Not just Imperials, is what you're getting at.
Randal: Exactly. In order to get it built quickly and quietly they'd hire anybody who could do the job. Do you think the average storm trooper knows how to install a toilet main? All they know is killing and white uniforms.
Dante: All right, so even if independent contractors are working on the Death Star, why are you uneasy with its destruction?
Randal: All those innocent contractors hired to do a job were killed- casualties of a war they had nothing to do with. (notices Dante's confusion) All right, look-you're a roofer, and some juicy government contract comes your way; you got the wife and kids and the two-story in suburbia-this is a government contract, which means all sorts of benefits. All of a sudden these left-wing militants blast you with lasers and wipe out everyone within a three-mile radius. You didn't ask for that. You have no personal politics. You're just trying to scrape out a living.
(The Blue-Collar Man (Thomas Burke) joins them.)
Blue-Collar Man: Excuse me. I don't mean to interrupt, but what were you talking about?
Randal: The ending of Return of the Jedi.
Dante: My friend is trying to convince me that any contractors working on the uncompleted Death Star were innocent victims when the space station was destroyed by the rebels.
Blue-Collar Man: Well, I'm a contractor myself. I'm a roofer... (digs into pocket and produces business card) Dunn and Reddy Home Improvements. And speaking as a roofer, I can say that a roofer's personal politics come heavily into play when choosing jobs.
Randal: Like when?
Blue-Collar Man: Three months ago I was offered a job up in the hills. A beautiful house with tons of property. It was a simple reshingling job, but I was told that if it was finished within a day, my price would be doubled. Then I realized whose house it was.
Dante: Whose house was it?
Blue-Collar Man: Dominick Bambino's.
Randal: "Babyface" Bambino? The gangster?
Blue-Collar Man: The same. The money was right, but the risk was too big. I knew who he was, and based on that, I passed the job on to a friend of mine.
Dante: Based on personal politics.
Blue-Collar Man: Right. And that week, the Foresci family put a hit on Babyface's house. My friend was shot and killed. He wasn't even finished shingling.
Randal: No way!
Blue-Collar Man: (paying for coffee) I'm alive because I knew there were risks involved taking on that particular client. My friend wasn't so lucky. (pauses to reflect) You know, any contractor willing to work on that Death Star knew the risks. If they were killed, it was their own fault. A roofer listens to this... (taps his heart) not his wallet.
Re:The logistics of building the Death Star (Score:2, Insightful)
there's a shitload of civilians above every bigger imperial vessel.
or maybe not in lucas's universe. maybe he'll change storm troopers to be robots some day too(like he "meant to do in the first place").
The Iraq Kidnappings (Score:4, Insightful)
* The pay is high because the risk is high - anybody who takes on such a job must realise this. Is it thus their fault if they are harmed/kidnapped/killed?
* Also, since they are working for/in-the-name-of people whom some Iraq's would regard as the enemy (they do this knowingly) and since by mutual admission of both sides, this is a war - are they legitimate targets?
I would like to point out that I am referring to people working for western corporations, rather than people performing aid work - the fact medecins sans frontiers and aid workers are being targeted is in my opinion, one of the saddest aspects of this conflict.
Re:The Iraq Kidnappings (Score:5, Insightful)
At some point you have to realize that it's in your best interest to lay down your guns and MOVE ON.
Re:The Iraq Kidnappings (Score:3, Insightful)
InnerWeb
Re:The Iraq Kidnappings (Score:3, Insightful)
We didn't win "hearts and minds" of the Germans, or the Japanese. We (the allies collectively) kicked the crap out of them, killed millions of them (including, inevitably, a lot of people who didn't deserve it), and levelled their countries.
Then, when everything is destroyed and the people are exhausted, then we rebuilt the countries.
This whole idea of "hearts and minds" is Cold War BS implemented because the idea of total war was impossible with an enemy Superpower always willing to
Re:The Iraq Kidnappings (Score:3, Insightful)
First, the Funny: Ah, the Civ3 answer.
And now the Troll: Good Final Solution, Hitler. It's too bad:
Re:The Iraq Kidnappings (Score:3, Insightful)
Modern warfare, in it's attempt to spare non-combatants from unnecessar
Re:The Iraq Kidnappings (Score:2)
Back in 1998 a World Islamic Front statement justified killing Americians and their allies by stating that America wanted to distroy Iraq and "humiliate their Muslim neighbours" (full text here [fas.org]).
With the invasion of Iraq these claims seem a lot more credible, and by destabilizing Iraq there is now a convienent battleground for anyone with a bone to pick with the Americans.
Re:The Iraq Kidnappings (Score:2)
Is that what you would do when someone invades your country and kills your friends and family?
Get some balls.
Are you totally stupid? (Score:3, Insightful)
The US occupiers in post-WWII weren't calling in air strikes on cities and killing innocent men, women and children in the process. If you're American, you hear about every US soldier that dies but how often do you hear about Iraqi deaths at American hands?
According to some estimates, this war has killed over 25,000 Iraqi civilians so far. Note, those are estimates, because nobody's been keeping an official count of
Re:Are you totally stupid? (Score:4, Insightful)
That's because Japan/Germany were beaten into submission. Drop 2 atomic bombs on Iraq, and firebomb Baghdad and things might change.
The US should never have gone into Iraq. You cannot occupy a country without breaking the will of the people, and to do that, you pretty much have to decimate it. The war made no sense to begin with, and there was no coherent strategy post defeat of the standing goverment.
Unfortunately the US is stuck keeping troops in Iraq, otherwise, the power vaccuum would most likely lead to civil war and there'd be thousands of deaths a week. So now the US is stuck sacrificing money and lives to try and keep the peace in a situation it caused. We have GWB to thank for running our country into a deficit on a war we didn't need, and for alienating the rest of the world.
Re:Are you totally stupid? (Score:3, Insightful)
and half the iraq would celebrate, and all of them hate americans even more...
that's the problem, they're not centralised, and neither is it a stabilised region. the only thing holding it together was saddam and his goons. it is not an old 'natural nation. they have a tradition of not getting along.
if you take a look at the quite recent history anyone with brains would stay the fuck out and let them duke it out and form more
Re:The Iraq Kidnappings (Score:3, Interesting)
If some nation invaded America I don't think I'd be looking at it this way, especially if they'd killed tens of thousands of my countrymen in the process and imposed a military dictatorship with a farcical 'representative government' on top of it.
Fact is, I think I'd be out there killing the motherfuckers. As often and as brutally as I could. And I'd brand those Americans who refused to fight for their c
Sure about that? An article today even. (Score:2)
~S
Re:The logistics of building the Death Star (Score:5, Interesting)
Re:The logistics of building the Death Star (Score:5, Informative)
The geonosians were the funny-speaking bugs right?
They show Count Dooku the blueprints they've made, which I suppose later gets leaked to R2-D2.
Re:The logistics of building the Death Star (Score:3, Funny)
Aarg... (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Aarg... (Score:5, Funny)
How about the fact that Lucas decided to name one of his characters "Count Dooku"?
Re:Aarg... (Score:5, Funny)
Count Chocula was already trademarked.
Re:The logistics of building the Death Star (Score:2)
One thing I've learned from Star Wars is this: The Universe is made up of insects, bears, crustaceans and various reptiles.
Re:The logistics of building the Death Star (Score:5, Funny)
You are welcome to create new races of aliens to populate your Star Wars universe. In fact, we welcome you to. And we don't even mind if you want to flesh out your backstory with these creatures... well some of us do, but they are zealots, so never mind them.
But if we catch you splicing in Geonosian construction workers in the DVD Extra Special Superpak release next year, we will be waiting for you at Skywalker Ranch with pitchforks and shotguns.
Sincerely,
Your fans
Re:The logistics of building the Death Star (Score:4, Funny)
Insect-like hivemind creatures are people too. Just take a look at Microsoft employees...
I see your point now. Kill em! Kill em all!
Nitpick (Score:3, Informative)
OT: your sig (was Re:Which Death Star?) (Score:3, Informative)
Please follow the link [washtimes.com], notice the correction/retraction, and correct your .sig (preferably with a correction/retraction of your own).
(Gee, a paper controlled by the Moonies gets incorrect facts about Kerry from a Republican source. Color me shocked.)
Re:The logistics of building the Death Star (Score:4, Insightful)
Even that is not true - we know that Death Star had lots of prison cells (we know that there are more cell blocks than just the one where Lea is kept. It's safe to assume that on Death Star there were at least dozens (if not hundreds) of prisoners of the Empire. Now, some of them could be also evil, like drunken stormtroopers or a lousy TIE-fighter pilot who scratched paint on Vader's machine while parking, but many of them were probably genuine freedom fighters - the prisoners from blocade runner, for example.
Re:The logistics of building the Death Star (Score:5, Funny)
It's terrorist, man. They don't wear uniforms, they are not commanded by a government, they are not for open battle, but doing stealth attacks... So they are terrorists, and any support to them is punishable by the PATRIOT act.
Re:The logistics of building the Death Star (Score:5, Funny)
Re:The logistics of building the Death Star (Score:2)
Unless we say it does. Remember, Bush has reserved the right to do what ever we want to do, as long as we make up some half-ass excuse.
Re:The logistics of building the Death Star (Score:3, Insightful)
Re:The logistics of building the Death Star (Score:5, Informative)
No, that's precisely where you're wrong. Some folks love to quote that old cliche, but it's simply not true. The difference between a terrorist and a non-terrorist is in the methodology. The minute a freedom fighter --or whatever term you want to apply to a non-terrorist --attacks civilians in a way that's intended to inspire widespread terror, that person becomes a terrorist.
E.G., the Mujahadin were "Afghani Freedom Fighters" when they were fighting the "Evil Soviet Empire". Now they're "terrorists" or "illegal combatants".
You do see the difference, do you not? When the Afghan mujahedeen were fighting Soviet troops who had invaded their country, they were not terrorists. The "mujahedeen" in Iraq, as they sometimes call themselves, are trying to fight the same basic fight, but they're using terrorist tactics to do it. Instead of attacking Coalition troops, they're publicly executing civilian hostages and detonating bombs outside police stations. That's not a war of resistance. It's not a war at all. It's terrorism, and it's unacceptable. No set of circumstances can justify, excuse or mitigate terrorism. It's off limits to civilized human conduct.
See the difference?
Had I spent my life in Northern Ireland, the Basque region, or the Gaza strip such distinctions might prove to be naive at best.
I reject the idea of situational morality. I think that the civilized world as a whole does as well.
The whole concept of "terrorism" is being used now a magical incantation invoked against convenient targets.
I really don't know where you get that idea. It's simply not true. I quote from the State Department's annual "Patterns of Global Terrorism" report: Emphasis mine. The definition of terrorism didn't change between 1983 and 2002. In 2002, for obvious reasons, the president in his National Security Strategy directive expanded the definition slightly to include any individual, group or nation that provides financial or material support or safe harbor to terrorists. This is not the legal definition nor the one that State uses though; it's just the definition that the executive branch uses to set national security policy with respect to nations or groups that sponsor or willfully turn a blind eye to terrorism.
Re:The logistics of building the Death Star (Score:2)
Re:The logistics of building the Death Star (Score:5, Funny)
Well, if by "robots" you mean "droids", then what's the difference? Droids are clearly sentient in the Star Wars universe. Are you saying that the life of an organic is intrinsically valuable but the life of a mechanical is not? I am so tired of this carbon bias on slashdot!
Re:The logistics of building the Death Star (Score:5, Funny)
Re:The logistics of building the Death Star (Score:2)
NOT ME!!! (Score:2)
I'm a silicon-based bot. I dare you to run a Turing test on me.
Re:The logistics of building the Death Star (Score:4, Funny)
Oh, that's just great. I can't get any friends in real life, and now you're telling me that maybe a 1/4 of my "friends" on slashdot aren't even real? Can't a geek get a break?
Re:The logistics of building the Death Star (Score:2)
Re:The logistics of building the Death Star (Score:2)
If 3PO never had his memory wiped, then he would have remembered his origins on Tatooine in Episode IV. I'll guess he was present when the twins were separated, hence the need for a complete memory wipe. Also, if someone's capable of being fluent in over six millions forms of communication, perhaps the total storage space available for life data is so small that it's routinely replaced with new, more relevant data?
Re:The logistics of building the Death Star (Score:2)
Re:The logistics of building the Death Star (Score:5, Funny)
"Hey, Frank... what in the heck *is* this thing we're building, anyway?"
"They told me that once we're done laying down the linoleum the whole outside of this thing gets fitted with reflective tile."
"You mean...?"
"Yep. Biggest self-sufficient disco ball in the universe!"
"But what for?"
"They gave me a card - here."
"'Our mission - riding the solar wind and spreading the good news and intergalactic funk from event horizon to event horizon.'"
"Yeah, isn't that just the wierdest?"
"Wait, there's more... 'D.V. and The Black Hole Sunshine Band - The Best Bang Since the Big One'. Where have I heard that before?"
"Dunno, Charlie, but I've got a *bad* feeling about this..."
Re:The logistics of building the Death Star (Score:5, Funny)
I'm sure (Score:2, Interesting)
I'm sure this is just one of the problems HR staff struggle with every day. Or is he implying that janitorial staff are stupid and unable to follow instructions?
Re:I'm sure (Score:3, Interesting)
Therefore one can't hire the pimply faced teenager as they do at the movie theaters. Theaters get away with this because they wa
Re:I'm sure (Score:2)
Re:I'm sure (Score:2)
plus
If the deathstar was that advanced, they would have droids to do the cleaning.
then
anyone working in personnel or communications - particularly Non Commissioned Officers with a grudge (I seem to recall quite a few USN personnel of this rank being suborned by the Soviets) - would be prime targets for subversion.
OTOH, you could always suborn then *before* they were recruited into the service - Philby, McLean etc.
h
Re:I'm sure (Score:2)
I see no reason why they couldn't just have droids keeping the station clean...
-Z
Re:I'm sure (Score:2)
Mark Hamill talking about janitorial staff? (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Mark Hamill talking about janitorial staff? (Score:3, Interesting)
He's quite good as "The Joker" and "Grundy" on episodes of the Justice League.
Meh (Score:4, Interesting)
Well, similar discussions have been had before (http://imdb.com/title/tt0109445/ [imdb.com]). Please, will someone think of the contract workers?!??!!
You heard it here first (Score:5, Funny)
Luke just said that Chewbacca is a monkey, not a Wookie. That makes it cannon! Oh man, I'm gonna have to go rewrite my fanfic, now that I know he was born on Earth and not on Kashyyyk.
As Johnnie Cochran once said, "If Chewbacca is a monkey, you must acquit!"
Janatorial staff? (Score:5, Insightful)
Exactly. (Score:5, Funny)
The red button.. (Score:2)
Re:The red button.. (Score:2)
or better yet, use him as a mobile drink cooler like r2-d2 was used in return of the jedi? hell he is liquid cooled anyways...
Re:Janatorial staff? (Score:5, Funny)
We can have a Starbucks right across the street from another Starbucks. We can sue fast food chains for our own gluttony.
And now, a comment on janitorial logistics for a fictitious planet-killing deathship in a thirty-year-old movie has been rated "Insightful" by the Slashdot illuminati because it makes note of another fictitious element used ealier in the same plot.
This is way beyond pathetic.
Re:Janatorial staff? (Score:2)
Only on slashdot.... (Score:2)
Ok, enough Star Wars for now... (Score:2)
Let's move on now...isn't it time we all start seeing tons of reviews and screen-shots to the extended Return of the King about now so we'll all be nice and sick of it by the time it's actually released?
Hey Pete Jackson, let's keep a little quiet on that ok? Hype can kill something quicker than anything.
Nuff said...
Re:Ok, enough Star Wars for now... (Score:2)
Just disable it if pisses you off so much.
Re:Ok, enough Star Wars for now... (Score:2)
I'm talking about everywhere. Not just Slashdot. I like the movies, don't get me wrong...but come on.
Wookies verses Yoda (Score:4, Funny)
Re:Wookies verses Yoda (Score:2)
For god's sakes man, if it's green GET IT CHECKED!
Re:Wookies verses Yoda (Score:2)
Overcoverage (Score:3, Interesting)
As it turns out, my lack of observance didn't matter at all - I'm a bit oversaturated on news and so I tend to read CNN fairly frequently throughout the day. I guessed something was up after two seperate articles on Lucas (and THX1138) showed up, followed by three more on Star Wars (quote heavy thanks to interviews with Mark Hamill), all posted on the main page and all within a twenty-four hour period.
I've been swimming in Star Wars news.
While I don't normally consider this a bad thing it's interesting to see how heavily the tail is wagging the rest of the dog, with respect to CNN; I don't know if they're being paid to be a corporate shill, or if their tech department doing website updates has a strong love of this movie -- whatever the case, it's had better coverage than Iraq this week.
GoogleWhack (Score:3, Funny)
Telling quote... (Score:5, Insightful)
Re:Telling quote... (Score:2)
Re:Telling quote... (Score:3, Insightful)
It's more like: if you get angry, you're gonna win, but the price in karma won't be worth it.
And that bit about "luminous beings, not this crude matter" etc, that's a few steps more sophistiticated than the philosophy of many modern day religions.
the extras dvd is impressive... (Score:5, Interesting)
And for the trailers - they are ruly insufferable - hard to believe anyone went to see ANH on the strength of the trailer - the ROTJ trailer is just tolerable by today's standards,
Also - did I miss something? Wasnt the piece on VH1 last week - with Kevin Smith and lots of others also supposed to be on the DVD set?
Speaking of minutiae, step thru the draw between Greedo and Han
Re:the extras dvd is impressive... (Score:3, Funny)
[The documentaries have] the added advantage of being true.
One of the featurettes features a whole bunch of directors acting as if George Lucas invented the whole concept of making sci-fi films, singlehandedly invented computer graphics, and a whole bunch of other things. OK, maybe ey did come up with the idea of producing a lot of merchandise for a film, but I wouldn't say that's such a good idea anyway...
Those documentaries are more like big ego trips than true stories. The main one even starts with
seeing as it's the directors saying it... (Score:5, Interesting)
Again - it's less science fiction, more space opera. Not much in the way of history-changing technology or advanced science uncovering deep truth and human potential. OK , there may be a little of it, but it's secondary to the plot and drama and spectacle.
In truth, look at the state of science fiction before Star Wars - you had story or realism, but rarely both, and you forgave the missing one. But you still missed it. 2001, Silent Running were two popular exceptions. Star Trek had passable story, cheesy realism, but it was all we had. This had both.
Ditto the state of computer graphics - like Edison, who didn't invent the light bulb, but did invent the electric *company* - Lucas didn't invent CG but likely invented the CG *shop* as we know it today. And that has changed filmmakiing in a deeper way than we usually realize. The Terminal - a movie about a guy in a couple of rooms - had a visual effects department and hired CafeFx - Ok they did the outdoor parts - but today you don't need to move an entire production company made of meat across the country to shoot 30 seconds of film. You pick up the phone and get the bits moving. To paraphrase Nicholas Negroponte, the movement of bits is easier than asses.
For everyone under the age of 27, Star Wars always existed, like electricity or clouds. Under 37, probably also true if they started paying attention to movies about age 10... and by age 37 you've covered more than half the people in the US anyway... so they're not far off the mark for most people. And that's only increasing.
Re:the extras dvd is impressive... (Score:5, Insightful)
It was probably sometime in the late 80s or early 90s when movie trailers began to be tolerable. Often, I prefer watching the trailer to sitting through the actual movie, so I used to try to show up early to the theater to catch all the trailers. Now, of course, they beat you over the head with 20-30 minutes of trailers and stupid MovieTickets.com commercials. It's easier to watch them at Apple's Quicktime movie trailers page [apple.com].
For a while in the 90s, every movie trailer that I ever saw seemed to be done by the guy who did the voice for Optimus Prime in the original Transformers series, Peter Cullen [imdb.com]. You could pretty much tell whether or not a movie studio took the trailer seriously if they used him for the voiceovers....
"(rising voice) A time of prosperity.... (lowering voice) A place of peace. (slow, heavily enunciated lower voice) Now.... one man... threatens.. it.. all." Fun stuff, even though there seem to be more trailers now that don't use voiceovers at all but instead rely on screens of text to piece things together.
My major pet peeve about trailers, though, is when they show the entire movie plot in the trailer. It completely removes any element of surprise, and makes it almost pointless to go see the movie. For example, the new trailer for Flight of the Phoenix [apple.com] does just that - the entire story is compressed down into a two minute version, sort of like a Readers Digest condensed book. It's sort of how trailers for comedy flicks show you the funniest parts of the movie in the hopes that you'll shell out $9 to see it, but then have nothing additional to offer.
Re:the extras dvd is impressive... (Score:4, Interesting)
It looks like it was mostly copied, and judging from the trailer the orignal looks like a considerably better film.
Re:the extras dvd is impressive... (Score:3, Insightful)
My major pet peeve about trailers, though, is when they show the entire movie plot in the trailer. It completely removes any element of surprise, and makes it almost pointless to go see the movie. For example, the new trailer for Flight of the Phoenix does just that - the entire story is compressed down into a two minute version, sort of like a Readers Digest condensed book. It's sort of how trailers for comedy flicks show you the funniest parts of the movie in the hopes that you'll shell out $9 to see it,
DVD Commentaries (Score:2)
Lucas has all these cool little insights, but when the sound guy gets started (and boy can he get started) he's still going five minutes later. This isn't just in Phantom Menace and AoTC, but in all of them! I was hoping for some cool insight into some obscure aspect of the films and this guy is going on about how he got to hold the bo
and in self-referential news... (Score:5, Informative)
Re: and in self-referential news... (Score:5, Funny)
> it's 'minutiae' not 'minutae'
That's where we stole the extra 'i' for use in "virii".
Monkeys can fly (Score:2, Interesting)
harrison ford? (Score:2, Funny)
Worn to death (Score:4, Insightful)
This was a mediocre story which used advanced techniques for about two years and was quickly eclipsed by much better stories using the same and better techniques.
SW is much like Flash Gordon. Put it on the shelf and relive it with a buzz on every five years or so.
Elsewise, get a life, get a life, get a life.
Re:Worn to death (Score:2)
In your should-have-been-humbly-stated opinion. Anyone familiar with the writings of Joseph Campbell can see what Lucas was doing and it was sheer brilliance. Even today it stands up surprisingly well whereas the Flash Gordon serials you cite are cheesy and ridiculous. People hate to acknowledge it but there are some very intellectual roots in the Star Wars story.
Elsewise, get a life, get a life, get a life.
That's funny. That's usually what I say to people who poke their heads
Sorry, you fail... (Score:4, Funny)
Spoilers ahead (Score:2)
Clerks and Contractors (Score:2)
I thought that was the discussion from Clerks [imdb.com]. IIRC, they had a long discussion about whether the contractors were innocent bystanders murdered by the rebels or were risk takers lured by high paychecks. I wonder if they would have counted the maids and garbage men as responsible risk takers. Then again, maybe all of those jobs were done by droids. That seems the most likely
Re:Clerks and Contractors (Score:3, Informative)
Chewie's pants... (Score:5, Funny)
Clearly Chewbacca needed a nice Hawaiian print pair of bermuda shorts. :-) Or maybe some dockers...
Leia: "Could somebody get this walking carpet out of my way... Hey, nice pants." ;-)
The Dork Side. (Score:5, Funny)
You will live in your mother's basement. You will never kiss a girl. The only girls you will ever see will be prOn on the internet. You will have no outlet but playing with your own light saber.
Don't cross over to the dork side.
Re:The Dork Side. (Score:4, Funny)
Re:The Dork Side. (Score:2)
Remember: there are she-dorks as well.
Mark Hamill: Get a life! (Score:2, Funny)
Slightly offtopic, but... (Score:4, Interesting)
Microsoft Imperial Death Star XP (Score:5, Funny)
* The Death Star plans were secret, but rebels managed to obtain them anyway.
* Windows is closed source, but people keep managing to steal bits of code anyway.
* The Empire was confident that The Death Star was secure and couldn't be compromised.
* Microsoft is confident that Windows is secure and cannot be compromised.
* Occassionally, rebellious hackers stumble across Windows vulnerabilities that nobody noticed before or thought was important.
* The rebels discovered a vulnerability into the Death Star that nobody noticed before or thought was important.
* Windows slowly positions itself to wipe out the competition.
* The Death Star slowly positions itself to wipe out the competition.
* Microsoft analyses virus attacks and discovers that there is some danger... albeit too late.
* The Empire analyzed the rebel attack and discovered that there was some danger... albeit too late.
* Script kiddies sometimes take devastatingly accurate shots at these backdoors and weaknesses.
* Luke Skywalker took a devastatingly accurate shot at the Death Star's exhaust port.
* Microsoft is attempting to rebuild Windows from the ground up, promising to make it better than before although it looks pretty much the same.
* The Empire tried to rebuild The Death Star from the ground up, promising to make it better than before although it looks pretty much the same.
Therefore... we can conclude the following:
* Luke Skywalker is a script kiddie.
* The Apple switcher campaign should feature Harrison Ford shouting, "Great shot kid, that was one in a million! Let's blow this thing so we can go home!"
* When Windows explodes... oooohhh... pretty.
* Hackers should have medals presented to them by Carrie Fisher.
* Bill Gates is Linus Torvald's father.
* And finally: Microsoft should not put too much faith in this technological terror they've constructed... the ability to destroy the competition is insignificant next to the power of open source.
Re:Well, sir (Score:3, Funny)
This isn't the first post you're looking for...
Re:Why can't I have a death star? (Score:3, Funny)
Jesus Christ...
Re:Why can't I have a death star? (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Deja vu (Score:2)
Yes, I read the fine article...
Re:Contractor Discussion Relevant (Score:2)
So, it shouldn't be too surprising that:
1) All humanitarian efforts in Iraq are targets (whether or not their getting funding from DoD, there's still the stigma).
2) DoD hasn't been able to effectively use the 18 billion earmarked. (They don't have the infrastructure, procurement channels, or experience.)
Another problem is that most of the reconstruction contracts a