Hilarious Antique IT Advertisements 219
PetManimal writes "Computerworld has gone back through forty years worth of magazines, and came up with some entertaining IT-related advertising gems from decades past. Highlights include The Personal Mainframe, an image of the earliest screenless briefcase portables, and Elvira hawking engineering software. From the article: 'Remember Elvira, Mistress of the Dark? Besides appearing on TV in features like Elvira's Movie Macabre Halloween Special, Elvira also invited Computerworld readers to "cut through paper-based CASE [computer-aided software engineering] methods with LBMS" software. "The scariest thing about CASE is the several hundred pounds of books that land on your desk and for which you've paid fifteen gazillion dollars, when you buy off on a CASE development methodology," she writes. Can you guess what year Elvira appeared in this Computerworld ad? Headline hint: "IBM delays notebook arrival in U.S."'"
The BEST one..... (Score:5, Funny)
"Can I see your Wang?"
Damned best computer Ad ever... and it was pulled because it was too sexual.
Re:The BEST one..... (Score:5, Funny)
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I understand the market for gaming, but the "screw the world" mentality is just disturbing...
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Yes, that's precisely what the joke is.
Realistically, it's not like they could only make a limited number of chips. Engineers and scientists were buying their cards just like gamers were.
Re:The BEST one..... (Score:4, Funny)
Actually that ad wasn't that great (imho) - but this one [google.com] is much better, and is one of my favourite ads ever.
Same basic principle but just executed much better, I think. And I love the last line of the ad.
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YOU
_
( )
...and another goodie (Score:2)
PRIME computers happily talk to other computer systems. However, they sometimes have to talk slowly and use very short words.
Re:The BEST one..... (Score:5, Funny)
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Re:The BEST one..... (Score:4, Informative)
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I also have the Wang to go with it
Doesn't every geek use 500lbs of equipment and 2000 watts to play battleship?
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Tom Baker's ad (Score:3, Funny)
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"How do you kn
No online copy? (Score:2)
print version.. (Score:3, Informative)
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http://www.macmothership.com/gallery/Newsweek/p01
My dad still has a copy of BYTE with this advertisement (or one very like it). In my memory it also had Steve Jobs, but I guess I was mistaken.
That was when... (Score:5, Interesting)
That was when magazines were cool, you could learn Pascal, BASIC, and Assembly in one magazine because they had tons of listings. Hell, I remember using several articles to wire wrap my own S100 serial card.
Ah, the good ol' days. When hackers were hackers.
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I subscribe to ASP.NET Pro Magazine. They have a lot of articles with code. They run multipart articles with entire solutions and code. Plus, they have a complete archive of old articles and source.
Back in the '70s, one of my first apps was taken from a magazine article that with code for a "dungeon" game. It was a learning exercise to translate to something useable on my machine (syntax and all). Then, I started to alter it, expand it, and
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Guess which gender is statistically more prone to impulse purchases.
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Even ads fueled coders. Beagle Bros would publish "one liners" in their ads. A single line of code for the Apple that would do something nifty like draw patterns on the screen.
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I remember they had a checksum program you could use to verify line by line that what you typed matched was on the page of the magazine.
They had a word processing program that got me through college on my Commodore 64.
Re:That was when... (Score:5, Interesting)
<BackInMyDayRant>Hey, kiddo, :), back then, there was no "online" unless you were at a University or the time-share budget was gold. And when you were "online" it wasn't this nice wizbang WWW stuff. Back then, you were desperately trying to squeeze code AND data into 4k (or if you were lucky, you could write code to bank switch 16k). You had to get your timing right to get the phone into the acoustic cups, and Gods forbid you had a slim-line phone that didn't work well, or someone would fire up a vacuum cleaner and interfere with the modem noise. And you prayed that your paper tape would last through one more read because you were always too lazy to run another dump, or the department ran out of blank stock. And "hacking" was building or altering your own hardware to make it work with other hardware. It wasn't the script attack Angelina Jollie movie version.</BackInMyDayRant>
Another fun project from the day: Building your own keyboard. Why? Because your computer didn't have one. Don't forget, you had to wire wrap the interface for it as well. That was fun, none of this, "Why doesn't the manufacturer include Linux drivers?" business. But, then, I drove a Vega, had a silk shirt and white belt, had long hair, had a puka shell necklace, the Moody Blues had broken up, Ford was a President who couldn't stay on his feet. Movies like "Drive In" and "Car Wash" were funny, "Jaws" was scary, and it wasn't 5-25-77 yet.
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Re:That was when... (Score:5, Funny)
And, you probably remember, Radio Shack was the place to get all the parts you needed, and the guy behind the counter knew how to building an oscillator and could look at your hand drawn schematic and know what it was you were doing.
Now, its some snot that doesn't want to help you find a pot because he makes more money selling cell phones to geezers who don't need them.
Oh, sorry, nurse says its time for my meds and a then I get to sit in the garden.
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Ironically the only reason I found this out is because I finally decided since I couldn't find it anywhere else, *maybe* Radio Shack might carry Cold Heat soldering irons (though I seriously doubted it because of the ones I'd been into in the past 10 years). To my surprise, they actually had several in stock.
The people working there still didn't really know anything ab
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Sorry, but "the good old days" sound like the bad old days to me. Maybe they're only "the good old days" because you don't do any of that kind of stuff anymore? Or maybe back then you were young, and now you're old? There's still plenty of people that do an equivalent of what you're talking about. Probably 100
ClueBAT!!!!! (Score:5, Interesting)
Slashdot is the closest thing to Byte I have found in a while but it lacks the editorial control that Byte had. Just look at how many misleading head lines you get. That and Byte was just about computers and didn't have any political content.
I love the Internet for looking things up but yes I miss Byte.
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That had to be one of my most favorite issues. I remembered thinking, how can I do this with my existing tools. I still get nostalgic for that issue when I see SmallTalk on a programming timeline/genealogy chart. Wish I had kept it, because I'd like to compare it to what OOP has become now.
Oh, just talked to the guy I sold my old Kaypro II to. He thinks its up in the rafters of his garage.
Um...1991? (Score:3, Insightful)
Um...1991? (Check the "copyright" at the bottom of the image.) Jeez.
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I like this part (Score:4, Funny)
I should lay that one on my fiancee next time she complains about something being wrong with the PC.
300 Baud is good enough for everyone... (Score:5, Funny)
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CORRECTION (Score:2)
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I still use Z-modem today on the Internet. (Score:2)
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http://www.futurehardware.in/341021.htm [futurehardware.in]
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Re:300 Baud is good enough for everyone... (Score:4, Funny)
How the Elvira/LBMS ad was created (Score:5, Funny)
Marketing dept guy #2
Marketing dept guy #1
(Marketing dept prepares a mock-up. Marketing dept guy #1 reads off the text)
Marketing dept guy #1
Marketing dept guy #2
"The scariest thing about CASE is the several hundred...So how's about calling LBMS in
Marketing dept guy #1
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Marketing dept guy #2: Let's call it a day and go get some call girls and some blow.
No - the real last line (Score:3, Insightful)
"[ ] I'd just like a glossy reprint of this ad."
Now _that_ is knowing you target audience...
Beautiful marketing - probably not even allowed these days.
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Elvira was quite the franchise in them days ... there was even a computer game [mobygames.com] made in 1990. Take that, Lara Croft!
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Oblig Simpsons Quote: (Elvira) "Look at my boooobies!"
Reminds me of this... (Score:3, Funny)
IBM PS/1 (Score:3, Funny)
Memory Lane (Score:3, Interesting)
My kids think I'm a dinosaur when I say things like "we didn't have: cell phones | vcrs | ipods | personal computers | digital cameras
In my 1st job at a VERY LARGE computer company we had "terminal rooms". For the youngsters that's a room with 10 typewriter like things that you could use to submit your code. (No screen, just test on PAPER.) Then wait the rest of the day to get a printout from another room. This was an improvement over the punch cards of the year before.
We eventual got tubes (terminals w/screen) in our offices, but usally 2 programmers per. And those had that lovely green on black text
Maybe they're right.
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And that is the story of how Xtreme Programming was born.
Still using WordStar here (Score:2)
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Another JOE plug (Score:2)
2 cents a byte! (Score:2)
Up to 32k for the low low price of $649!
Intel 386/SX (Score:2)
The one *I* remember... (Score:3, Funny)
The gist was something like, "Thinking of switching to NT? Isn't there enough suffering in the world?"
I'd LOVE to find out where that can be found online...
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Genicom printer ad (Score:5, Funny)
My collection.. (Score:2)
Hmm... I came in here to brag, but now I suddenly just feel very old.
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Antique? (Score:2)
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In PA, it's 25 years for a car (you can get a permanent-registration antique car plate then)
Not so shocking to me... (Score:4, Interesting)
Likewise the notion of a laptop computer with the power of a PC XT, or any kind of big, heavy "portable" computer - my dad had a Commodore SX 64 when I was a kid, and I used to dream of having a real C-64 laptop.
So probably this article has a much more potent effect on the kids who had internet e-mail when they were ten years old or younger, don't remember operating systems prior to Windows 95, never saw an Apple IIe or IIc... It's interesting stuff but it's not "hilarious"...
It's funny when you still use those computers (Score:2)
No it's just hilarious when you still use operating systems prior to Windows 95. Part of it results from retarded vendor lock in which you have to spend large amounts of money to get new software that does the same as the DOS program we have r
It's not a C-64 laptop but.... (Score:2)
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*goes to check if Ben Heckendorn has built one yet*
First drive I bought cost $12,500 for 10 MB (Score:2)
It was the drive for a Datacraft 6024/5. The department only had a budget of about $30 or $40,000 for the thing, and we were very excited about the chance to get an actual disk drive and stay under budget... we'd been afraid we'd have to do it all with magnetic tape. [wisc.edu]
The 10 MB consisted of a removabl
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Was there any non-mainframe computer that could use that little memory with that large of a disk?
Or did you me 20Meg?
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-nB
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20 meg hard drive doesn't sound that old. Hell, my second computer only had a 10 meg hard drive. My first one didn't even have a hard drive.
And I'm sure I'll be out-geeked here by some guy who's first computer used punch-cards.
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When we got an XT with an *UPGRADED* 30 MB HDD and VGA monitor - holy crap! I had died and gone to heaven.
Sigh...
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WHAT ARE YOU SAYING BAD
THINGS ABOUT THE VIC-20
FOR. MY BROTHER SAYS IT
IS ONE OF THE BEST MACH-
INES EVER MADE!!!!!
--
BIFF
BIFF@BIT.NET
--
BIFF
BIFF@BIT.NET
Reason: Don't use so many caps. It's like YELLING
Not it's not you phucktard it's vintage humor. Q-riste.
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I also have a Quadra 650 (33MHz, 132 MB RAM, 1MB VRAM on Nubus card). Used it a few years ago, with a tabloid SCSI scanner I picked up. Photoshop 2.5 is fast on the beast!
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My first job out of high school was at a place that did mehcanical data processing. Not those modern 80
colum cards, no no the 90 column (with round holes) Burroughs jobs that ran on a "computer" that was
programmed with patch cord panels. We had a card duplicater, a sorter and a printer that were built
in the 1940s.
That was some nasty shit.
I Was there the day it was all carted out - some idiot had forgotten to cancel the
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Yes, it's sad really. And nothing can be done to make them stop or go away. Respond, and you reinforce their immaturity. Don't respond and you reinforce their immaturity. Ignore and they'll try harder. Confront and they'll try harder still.
They're really just cries for 'mommy' after all. Poor lost souls
Re:first post niggas! (Score:5, Funny)
Re:first post niggas! (Score:4, Funny)
One word: Shitcock [penny-arcade.com].
Re:I would kill for one of those! (Score:4, Informative)
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Do a Google search for "acoustic coupler" and educate yourself. That ad isn't bamboozling anybody.
Re:I would kill for one of those! (Score:4, Informative)
Actually, the acoustic coupler is the cradle that the handset is inserted in. The microphone and speaker of the handset is then isolated from outside noise with rubber seals and have a corresponding speaker respectivly microphone. So the computer become acoustically coupled to the telephone net and not electrically. Now get off my lawn. Mumble mumble muble.
Re:I would kill for one of those! (Score:5, Interesting)
>Goes to show that bamboozling unsuspecting consumers with
>high-tech talk has been around as long as the technologies
>themselves!
Snot-nosed punk.
The acoustic coupler was the cradle into which you inserted the telephone handset so the modem could use the speaker and microphone to acoustically transmit the data. We still have some around my place of business and they still work and are in occasional use. See how your high-falutin' iPhone works 40 years from now.
One thing you also might not be aware of is that at the time, you couldn't OWN a telephone - they all belonged to ATT/Ma Bell. In fact that was more-or-less true into the late 70's/early 80s. And they were all identical designs (actually there were two different designs but completely standardized) so your coupler would work with any of them.
Brett
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young whippersnappers... (Score:2)
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Jane, you ignorant slut! (Score:2)
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It was a whole lot better than trying to lug aroung a KSR-43 TTY (not to mention the ASR-33 it replaced). And you could do editing that just wasn't possible with a Silent 700 thermal printing terminal.
I guess this officially makes me an antique...
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Prove - Provable - Provably.
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Nah, that's nothing compared to this [youtube.com]!
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(Voices in unison): Hi Anonymous Coward!