Klingon Beer 100
An anonymous reader writes: "We may not have Saurian Brandy or Romulan Ale, but we'll soon have Klingon Beer. Tin Man Brewing Company in Evansville, Indiana has gotten the OK from CBS to create 'Klingon Warnog,' a Dunkelweizen with 'a modern aroma [of] predominantly mild banana and clove.' It will have an ABV of 5.5%. The Klingon beer will apparently join Vulcan Ale in the Federation of Beer. I wonder what their Prime Directive is."
Re: (Score:1)
Klingon Beer (Score:3)
Gutteral suds
Your blade will steer
Past Romulan duds
Burma Shave
Klingon Beer Haiku (Score:5, Informative)
This not Klingon beer, humans.
This dilute breast milk.
Re: (Score:3)
Been Klingon he might have said
Effing near water
Re: (Score:3)
And much like revenge
Klingon beer is best served cold
even by humans
Re: (Score:3)
Please state your country, if it's Netherlands your inner organs will rott of Heiniken, if your from Denmark you will transcend into the taste of bad water (Tuborg).
If you are from Belgium, you should choke on Juliper(*) and get a headache from the heavy drop of Duvel.
If you are from Germany your face should implode by the bitter taste of Bitburger, you will piss KÃlsch like an Ebolanian excremates blood.
And thou shall you drown in the same same piss shit Jever, Bitburger, Astra, Karlsquell, Becks, Hei
Re: (Score:1)
Methinks GP is possibly a UK real ale drinker. However as this new brew is supposed to be a Dunkelweizen he may be pleasantly surprised. It all depends on how heavy they are with the gruit.
It's Heineken, you insensitive clod (Score:1)
Re: (Score:3)
"perfectly drinkable beers unlike the USA that has a choice between Bud light and Coors"
If you aren't familiar with our culture let me enlighten you a little bit:
We do have American brewed beers, but those are just for guests. However, we, probably more than any country, sell all the beer.
We have entire warehouse-sized stores that stock nothing but different varieties of beer. There is probably one in every county. Then we have liquor stores which also (in many places) carry a large variety of beer..3 on ev
Don't forget the microbrews (Score:2)
The past few years have also seen a great increase in microbreweries. Near where I live, there is one that makes some very amazing flavors, and some great full bodied selections. Not everyone in the US drinks Bud Light or Coors.. that stuff you can pour back in the horse!
Re: (Score:2)
Let's just call those "edge cases" :)
Re: (Score:2)
Proof (Score:2)
Proof that you don't Have to be American to know nothing about other countries.
(But it helps.)
Re: (Score:2)
Weirdest troll post ever.
Re: (Score:2)
Wouldn't the prime directive of a Klingon beer be to not drink it with one's enemies?
Mild banana and clove ? - seriously ? (Score:3)
I expect something more like the taste of smoked roasted wild boar and a fine note of decaying fish (SürstrÃming) for the fine taste!
Re: (Score:2)
I expect something more like the taste of smoked roasted wild boar and a fine note of decaying fish (SürstrÃming) for the fine taste!
Fortified with the blood of your slain enemies...
Honestly, this is about as worthless as Bad Frog Beer, the beer they felt they had to make, because the T-shirt of the frog appearing to give the middle digit, was selling so well and people asked about the fictional beer. The beer could be Bud, Pearl, Coors or just about anything else.
Re: (Score:2)
CBS and the FDA might have a shit fit if you use blood innit. :)
Re: (Score:2)
Re: (Score:2)
Anything without live grubs in it, cannot possibly claim to be klingon.
Re: (Score:2)
I've had one of these beers. The main flavor is really the rye malt, rustic. The cloves and yeast flavor are really more of an undertone. It's pretty good beer, especially for $1 per 16 oz can.
Re: (Score:3)
Have to reply to myself. I just noticed the summary says the beer is a Dunkelweizen "Dark Wheat". It's actually a Roggenbier, "Rye Beer".
only 5.5%!?! (Score:5, Insightful)
Re: (Score:1)
And you know Klingon alcohol tolerance..how?
Why do you think toughness equates to alcohol tolerance? oh, right, you have a small mind.
Considering Warnog has a flavor so complex it can't be replicated perfectly, AND Klingon have heightened sense compared to humans, it is likely to have less alcohol.
Re:only 5.5%!?! (Score:5, Insightful)
Come on, GP was being funny. No need to go full Comic Book Guy on him.
Re: (Score:2)
I thought I was being a funny comic guy parody. Apparently I breach some sort of Poe law variant limit.
Re: (Score:2)
My bad, then. But that's the trouble with trying for a parody of Comic Book Guy in a world where this [kli.org] exists.
(I recommend suffixing such posts with ~s or bracketing them with <ComicBookGuy> tags)
Re: (Score:2)
Worst.
Post.
Ever.
[/comicbookguy]
Re: (Score:2)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?... [youtube.com]
Re:only 5.5%!?! (Score:5, Informative)
And you know Klingon alcohol tolerance..how?
Why do you think toughness equates to alcohol tolerance? oh, right, you have a small mind.
Considering Warnog has a flavor so complex it can't be replicated perfectly, AND Klingon have heightened sense compared to humans, it is likely to have less alcohol.
accept in the ds9 episode where O'Brien, Worf, Sisko, and Odo, infiltrat a Klingon ceremony to catch a changing it is mentioned that O'Brian Sisko and Odo would of died of alcohol poisoning if not for an injection they were given to neutralize the alcohol. Also in TNG there is an episode where Worf replicates a Klingon beverage for some refugees they are rescuing after they complain about the federation alcohol being to weak, and it is shown to be much stronger. So the Klingons can metabolize higher amounts of alcohol and thus probably drink more consternated beverages.
Re: (Score:2, Informative)
ds9? I was talking about real Star Trek.
Boom!
Re: (Score:2)
Re:only 5.5%!?! (Score:4, Funny)
Personally, I always liked Voltaire's description:
What is with the Klingons? Remember in the day
They looked like Puerto Ricans and they dressed in gold lame.
Re: (Score:2)
I would pay for a Tribble Bock.
Re: (Score:3)
Re: (Score:1)
I never said light weights.
Are you so lacking in character that you need to speak negatively about people who prefer less alcohol consumption in order to feel like you have worth?
Re: (Score:3)
No one except for you has spoken negatively about anyone. You equated alcohol to toughness, no one else. You're the one lacking in character.
Get off your high horse, and stop complaining about a culture you obviously have no idea about.
Re: (Score:2)
Prune flavors would work. Worf always liked prune juice because it tasted like a "Warriors drink". I guess you could make inferences from that.
Re: (Score:2)
Bloodwine may be a good example of Klingon alcohol tolerance.
From Memory Alpha: "it was not for the faint of heart. Bloodwine was known to be highly intoxicating, to the point that most non-Klingons were scarcely capable of tolerating it; it was twice as potent as whiskey"
So pretty much moonshine?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/W... [wikipedia.org]
Re: (Score:2)
And you know Klingon alcohol tolerance..how?
Why do you think toughness equates to alcohol tolerance? oh, right, you have a small mind. Considering Warnog has a flavor so complex it can't be replicated perfectly, AND Klingon have heightened sense compared to humans, it is likely to have less alcohol.
Dude, seriously, why so keen to throw insults around at anyone who doesn't fit your strict world image of the universe according to geekoid? No, he doesn't have a small mind for pointing out the classical cultural staple that tough machismo guys can drink, Hollywood's been depicting that image for decades.
In any case, 5.5% IS, on the whole, on the light side, even by human standards. The English ales I like are are least 7, 8 %, or higher. Wine is nearly double that. I would expect an alien race that en
Re:only 5.5% and tasteless to boot. (Score:2)
Re: (Score:2)
We used to have a cocktail back in my university days called "The Vulcan Mind Probe" . . . that was more like 155%. I remember that there was grain alcohol and peppermint schnapps in it, but I don't remember what else was in it.
And frankly, after drinking that, no one really remembers very much anyway.
Re: (Score:2)
155%, eh?
*shakes head*
Re: (Score:2)
proof, my man. parts per 200
Spirytus (192 proof) diluted with authentic Absythe (137 proof) should get one in the neighborhood of 155 proof with a minty taste
Re: (Score:2)
yes, and the symbol for proof is sometimes the degree sign
Prune Juice, a warrior's drink (Score:5, Insightful)
Re: (Score:1)
You bear me by just a few seconds to the post...
Qapla
Re: (Score:2)
Re: (Score:2)
Taste of prune's what, exactly? There's a word missing in your sentence.
Re: (Score:1)
Re:Prune Juice, a warrior's drink (Score:5, Funny)
Taste of prune's what, exactly? There's a word missing in your sentence.
"Prune's" is how the Klingons spell "prunes". They add a glottal stop before the "s" so that they can linger on the word for longer.
*ducks his head before the Treksters come out of the woodwork to correct him on the inaccuracies that he's intentionally piling on at this point*
Re: (Score:2)
Tastes of a prune's arse?
Better have extract of Prune... (Score:1)
Prune juice....a real warriors drink!!!!
Re: (Score:2)
Seriously, a mod down?
Did anyone actually watch Star Trek? Prune juice.... was specifically called a warrior's drink on TNG.
All I can say is... (Score:2)
Figuratively of course : P
Proper wording (learn from a German) (Score:1)
Seriously, "Dunkelweizen" is just plain wrong, no German would call it that horrendous word.
The proper wording is "dunkles Weizen(bier)" == "dark wheat (beer)".
5.5% is not even strong, that's more on the light side; usally this flavour starts at 5.5%, and no beer has below 5.0%.
7% to 7.5% would be a proper alcohol level!
Please get that at least right.
Proper beer (learn from a Brit) (Score:1)
Seriously, cutting back on the hops and using wheat is just plain wrong, no Brit would call lager beer.
Then again a whole generation has had John Smiths Smooth at knockdown prices in university so when they don't know what real beer is. Bloody yuppie kids.
I'm more of a mead guy, myself.
Star Trek Experience and Quark's Bar (Score:4, Interesting)
They used to have Romulan Ale and Klingon Blood wine, among other things.
Sad that a Michael Jackson show replaced the Star Trek Experience at the Hilton in Las Vegas. There had been talks of reviving it Downtown, but I guess that never materialized.
Re: (Score:2)
I see what you did there. I am watching you...
Wait wait wait (Score:2)
Re: (Score:1)
HIq watlh chut
or maybe
HIq nIt chut
(both can mean law of the pure beer).
Blood Wine at the Alamo (Score:2)
Re: (Score:1)
Raktajino has to be the worst idea in the Star Trek franchise. Why would Klingons "fru-fru" up their coffee, not very warrior like IMO. At least it tasted like an oil slick. :/
Re: (Score:2)
Why would Klingons "fru-fru" up their coffee, not very warrior like IMO.
Have you seen their embassy? [wikia.com]
Speaking of which (Score:1)
Fuck this, where's the tranya?
Speaking of which, why aren't they cleaning up the Borg or Klingons? Their ship makes the Enterprise J look like Fred Flintstone's car.
prime directive? (Score:3)
> I wonder what their Prime Directive is.
To get laid.
Fun fact: it won't work.
In Sto-vo-kor there is no beer (Score:2)
That's why we drink it here!
Klingon JACKPOT!! (Score:2)
Klingon JACKPOT!!
Already made, I believe it's called Everclear (Score:2)
Re: (Score:2)