'Oregon Trail' Action-Comedy Movie In Development At Apple (hollywoodreporter.com) 63
An anonymous reader quotes a report from the Hollywood Reporter: Grab your wagons and oxen, and get ready to ford a river: A movie adaptation of the popular grade school computer game Oregon Trail is in development at Apple. The studio landed the film pitch, still in early development, that has Will Speck and Josh Gordon attached to direct and produce. EGOT winners Benj Pasek and Justin Paul will provide original music and produce via their Ampersand production banner. Sources tell The Hollywood Reporter that the movie will feature a couple of original musical numbers in the vein of Barbie.
The Lucas Bros. (Judas and the Black Messiah) and Max Reisman are set to pen the screenplay about the game that is meant to mimic 19th-century pioneer times, following a covered wagon train heading west. Created in 1971, the game reached cult status among American grade schoolers by the 1990s as one of the first educational computer games allowed in schools -- and for its hilariously dark storylines filled with broken arms, typhoid and dysentery. The film will likely debut on Apple TV+, but details are scarce at the moment.
The Lucas Bros. (Judas and the Black Messiah) and Max Reisman are set to pen the screenplay about the game that is meant to mimic 19th-century pioneer times, following a covered wagon train heading west. Created in 1971, the game reached cult status among American grade schoolers by the 1990s as one of the first educational computer games allowed in schools -- and for its hilariously dark storylines filled with broken arms, typhoid and dysentery. The film will likely debut on Apple TV+, but details are scarce at the moment.
Obligatory (Score:5, Funny)
If the cast doesn't all die of dysentery then 1/10 0% fresh bleh.
Re:Obligatory (Score:5, Funny)
If the cast doesn't all die of dysentery
Now THAT would be method acting.
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Exclusive on Hollywood Insider: Why Jarod Leto is not invited to auditions anymore!
Re: Obligatory (Score:2)
hilarity.
being bitten by a rattlesnake.
and anti venom will not exist for a hundred years
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I mean, dysentery is great, but I want to know - when the shoot a buffalo, will they only bother to take 100 pounds of it back to the wagon?
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They'll stop just days out from their destination and spend months hunting bears to sell the meat and rack up a fortune and huge score.
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The rest goes to taxes, duh.
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If that's not in the movie I consider it a flop. That HAS to be in there.
Games into movies (Score:4, Interesting)
Well if Hollywood can turn "Battleship" into a movie they'll try it with anything. I wonder if they'll do "Monopoly".
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"Checkers: Infinity"
Re:Games into movies (Score:4, Funny)
Uno - Wild Draw Four Electric Boogaloo
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Already done. Wargames
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Hunt the Wumpus, starring Adam Sandler.
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...as the Wumpus. The story is told from his perspective.
Re: Games into movies (Score:1, Offtopic)
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Well, at least they didn't kill Kenny.
As far as we know, anyway...
Re:Games into movies (Score:5, Informative)
Yes. It's currently "in development"
Monopoly movie: Margot Robbie's company LuckyChap to produce film
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/ent... [bbc.co.uk]
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt1... [imdb.com]
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I wonder if they'll do "Monopoly".
It almost happened. Instead, we got something equally bad - Prometheus. [vulture.com]
Also possibly the Trump presidency.
Damn... I'm not even sure who's angry at me. (Score:2)
Prometheus idiots? Ridley Scott sheep? Trump morons?
Anyway as I was saying...
A Monopoly movie almost happened. Instead, we got something equally bad - Prometheus. [vulture.com]
Seriously, if you think that movie is good you need to check yourself into a mental health institution.
Also possibly the Trump presidency.
Sorry, but if you think that choice is good a mental health institution won't help you. Try bleach, injected directly into brain cavity, through the eyeballs.
I'm not saying it will help, but it can't hurt to try.
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Or we could just forget about Twister and the porno :)
They picked the wrong franchise to adapt. (Score:2)
Already been done. (Score:2)
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/... [wikipedia.org]
Re:Already been done. (Score:4, Interesting)
I'd like to think of it as a prequel to Wagons East [imdb.com].
Re: Already been done. (Score:2)
I was going to mention the same. Season 2 was my favorite so far, though.
Hopefully they'll get a 5th season
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Dusty's Trail [wikipedia.org]
My people all died horrible random deaths (Score:1)
How is dysentery funny? Starvation? Getting an arrow through your chest? Your wheels/axels/cart breaking? Freezing to death? Your oxen dying?
None of that was funny.
Perhaps they played a different version of the game than I did.
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I'm noting the fact that it wasn't a funny game. Maybe your friends were psychotic at age 8. No one I knew laughed when they got wiped out by the RNG again.
Are you looking forward to seeing this fabulous action comedy on opening night in the theatre? No? Then it's a bad movie idea as I implied.
It just shows the total void of original thought in Hollywood.
What next? A minesweeper romcom? An erotic horror tic tac toe? Hangman as an intellectual sci-fi exploration of alien life forms?
*eye roll*
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I don't recall anyone laughing when we were playing Oregon Trail in our classroom in 5th and 6th grade in the early 90s. It was incredibly boring. Kids that played video games like Nintendo, SNES, Sega Genesis, early computer games like Doom, Playstation was about to come out... couldn't stomach the horrible graphics and lack of fun gameplay.
That makes sense. When I was in elementary school none of t hose things existed yet. In fact, the first version of Oregon Trail I played was the one with no graphics at all (maybe it had a title screen? I don't remember one though.) When you went hunting the game asked you how many bullets you wanted to use, and then it told you what the results were.
But then, my first games console was a Coleco Telstar...
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According to this source [nps.gov], about 6-10% of the emigrants died on their journey. Granted, it's been a long time since I've played the old Apple ][ game, but it did seem like the developers took a bit of artistic license with how likely you were to die (and also the hunting mini-game if we're gonna pick nits).
The hilarious part was that you could do everything right and the RNG still had it in for you, kind of like when one of Elon's rockets just randomly goes boom because sometimes the universe is just trying
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Some would say it depends on who it happens to.
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"Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die."
--Mel Brooks
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Perhaps they played a different version of the game than I did.
You *really* need to read some of the children's literature from back then.
You may also need to get a grip. 5cc. Stat.
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I own a copy of the original Brother's Grimm tales (translated to modern English). From before Disney prettied it all up.
I'm not in psychological distress. I am noting a fact. The game slaughtered you at random. It was a difficult game. An enjoyable game. A classic. But there was nothing funny about it.
Are you looking forward to seeing this action comedy film on opening day in the theatre? I suspect not.
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How is dysentery funny? Starvation? Getting an arrow through your chest? Your wheels/axels/cart breaking? Freezing to death? Your oxen dying?
None of that was funny.
Don't worry. If those things happen, they'll fix it in the reboot.
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How is dysentery funny? Starvation? Getting an arrow through your chest? Your wheels/axels/cart breaking? Freezing to death? Your oxen dying?
None of that was funny.
Perhaps they played a different version of the game than I did.
It's probably people traumatized by the game trying to make light of it because they can't shake the demons it instilled in them. Hollywood folks love nothing more than exposing their psychosis. I'm sure this'll be a slapstick routing of everything the game tried to teach us. It'll make Monty Python's Holy Grail look like a serious drama.
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Monty Python was fucking hilarious in their day. Almost everything they did was brilliantly funny over the top outrageously funny.
I don't think Hollywood writers have that in them. Every rarely so often they manage to make a truly wild movie but mostly they don't even try. They stick with what they know: explosions and romcom.
Something like Spinal Tap stands out because it is so unusual, whereas MP cranked them out for years.
We'll see but I predict not funny flop on this one.
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Monty Python was fucking hilarious in their day. Almost everything they did was brilliantly funny over the top outrageously funny.
I don't think Hollywood writers have that in them. Every rarely so often they manage to make a truly wild movie but mostly they don't even try. They stick with what they know: explosions and romcom.
Something like Spinal Tap stands out because it is so unusual, whereas MP cranked them out for years.
We'll see but I predict not funny flop on this one.
I referenced Monty Python only for the fact that they were legitimately funny, not Hollywood, "This is so pathetically bad" funny in the cringe fashion.
Mostly, Hollywood is only funny when they get out of their own way and let the talent be the talent. Pretty rare now, when the C-suites think it's about imposing their will, however horrible their instincts.
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Indeed, it seems like somehow Hollywood manages to get worse every year.
I'm not even excited about movies in genres I once would've been following closely. Venom 3 just came out and I had no idea they were even filming it and I have zero interest in seeing it. There was a time I would've been first in line.
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Indeed, it seems like somehow Hollywood manages to get worse every year.
I'm not even excited about movies in genres I once would've been following closely. Venom 3 just came out and I had no idea they were even filming it and I have zero interest in seeing it. There was a time I would've been first in line.
I'm a huge fan of long form fiction, and LOVE when story builds over many, many chapters. The Marvelverse was fantastic at that building, as far as anything put out on that scale, for about ten years, maybe a touch more. Now? I haven't seen a new one in several years. Seemed to be no end to the dumbing down and continuity fuckery once they started doing the multiverse stuff. Multiverse only really works when you use it as a momentary blip of something, then wipe the slate clean and start over. It doesn't wo
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Deadpool is the only post avengers Marvel movie I can think of that was any good. Several of the others were painful and now I don't even follow. This 4th generation thing isn't working. I'd prefer they just keep refilming Spider-Man origin stories than continue to put out the kind of crap they've been doing. It's just all become unwatchable.
Yes, DC has mostly sucked and I agree Marvel loudly declared, "Hold my beer!"
The sad thing is there are so many awesome characters and stories they could draw from
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Deadpool is the only post avengers Marvel movie I can think of that was any good. Several of the others were painful and now I don't even follow. This 4th generation thing isn't working. I'd prefer they just keep refilming Spider-Man origin stories than continue to put out the kind of crap they've been doing. It's just all become unwatchable.
Yes, DC has mostly sucked and I agree Marvel loudly declared, "Hold my beer!"
The sad thing is there are so many awesome characters and stories they could draw from in comics and we get this insulting crap instead. I'd even be happy with a mindless rendition of Secret Wars in all flashy plotless cgi over what they've been doing. At least that was an interesting concept for its time.
What killed it for me was the public announcements that they would be looking into "alternative versions of existing characters." Really? How about creating cool new characters if you want diversity? Give people someone to cheer for. Like, Black Panther was cool because the character held a literal stake in who he was. Diversifying existing characters without diversifying their background just stamps colors and labels on macho-man roleplay. It's pandering and people KNOW it's pandering. Give people someone
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Heh, you're describing The Marvels. There was no way we were going to pay for it but I slipped it into our evening lineup at home when my wife wasn't looking.
Her response when she saw what was next up, that raised eyebrow and "Really? We're going to do this?" was pretty funny (to me, anyway). :-)
Watching it made me think of this from way back: https://www.upi.com/Archives/1... [upi.com]
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Watching it made me think of this from way back: https://www.upi.com/Archives/1... [upi.com]
Dude couldn't even pull of a good "walked into a bar together" joke from that setup.
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"A black, a woman, 2 Jews and a cripple walk into a bar and ... "
Yeah, that works.
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So you are saying the game did it's job and successfully taught you how harsh it was for the settlers taking the trail.
Mission Accomplished.
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1886 hits hard.
My carpenter and his four tag-alongs just arrived (Score:3)
I don't see what the big deal is. Aside from a bout of flu, it was an almost uneventful journey, right up until a thief stole literally all our clothes. The native then didn't want to help us cross Snake River without clothes. Makes you wonder what kind of movie it's going to be.
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Makes you wonder what kind of movie it's going to be.
Given that nature of the source material, and that this is Hollywood's idea of comedy, one with a lot of poop jokes. A lot of poop jokes.
Meh, it's been done (Score:3)
Safe since MECC was dissolved (Score:2)
If a large percentage of the proceeds don't go to education then Apple can fuck off and die already.
Oh wait, who am I kidding, they will put it on Apple TV and there will be no proceeds because no one will see it.
D&D (Score:2)
If they can manage to pull off the tone that the makers of the D&D movie did, then I can see this being good. But that's gonna be hard to do.
Uh- (Score:2)
#EatenByAGrue
LOL! The first RPG I played when I bought my C64 i (Score:2)
Not too late (Score:2)
How will they handle Indians? (Score:1)
Apparently, some of the previous inhabitants of North America occasionally had enough of Europeans marginalizing and/or slaughtering them, and would sometimes fight back.
Can you really make a movie today that includes white people 'heroically' slaughtering Indians?