"It was weird to own a Zune in 2005," remembers a new article in the Verge. "It is even weirder to own a Zune in 2021 — let alone 16 of them. And yet, 27-year-old Conner Woods proudly shows off his lineup on a kitchen table." They come in all different colors, shapes, and sizes, and each can be identified by that telltale black plastic D-pad just below the screen. He owns the entire scope of the brief Zune lineup — from the svelte Zune 4 to the chunky Zune HD — and among the microscopic community of people who still adore Microsoft's much-derided MP3 player, no collection of dead tech could possibly be more enviable.

Woods picked up his Zune foraging habit during the pandemic, while he was furloughed from his job working security at Best Buy. "I taught myself to solder, began buying up dead Zunes, and repairing and flipping them for a profit," he says. "At some point I ran across some rare ones and couldn't bring myself to part with them."

He counts a particularly rare model bearing the Halo 3 logo and another with the Gears of War seal, but to fully understand the depths of Woods' obsession, you need to look past the gadgets and into the great beyond. Click through his post on the r/Zune subreddit, and wander into his veritable shrine of forgotten Zune detritus. Woods owns multiple Zune-stamped traveling cases and boombox docks. He has a Zune-branded stress ball as well as a Zune tinderbox, complete with matches that are dyed in the brand's customary burnt orange and fiery purple. My personal favorite: a Rubik's cube that, when solved, reveals the Zune's polyhedral insignia on all of the white squares, as if to say the answer to one of history's most vexing logic puzzles is, eternally, Zune.
The article also suggests the Zune exemplified Microsoft's inherent "squareness" at the start of the 2000s. "The product was entirely functional, sure, but for reasons that remain difficult to articulate — the video game insignias, the oversized trackpad, their baffling bulkiness — it was also about a million times less chic than the iPod. (That same inscrutable problem flags Bing, Cortana, the ill-fated Windows Phone, etc.)

"But today, almost a decade after Microsoft terminated the brand, there is a small bastion of diehards who are still loving and listening to their Zunes." And one of them has even added a 128GB SSD to their Zune's motherboard.