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Star Wars Prequels

Star Wars Virgin Takes the Plunge 397

Entertainment Weekly is running a short account of one Star Wars virgin who recently sat down to watch all six Star Wars movies in their originally intended order while recording his thoughts. From the article: "So after watching the sun set on all six of the Star Wars (or sun rise, in my case), what do these movies mean to me? I have to be careful where I tread here, because people's love of these movies is passionate to say the least. (Personal note: My friends had a Star Wars-themed wedding.) The cynical and tired side of me wants to say that George wanted Episode I to be shown first because after watching 14 straight hours of Star Wars, my memories of young Anakin and Jar Jar are almost long forgotten. I've tossed them aside along with my package of caffeine pills and bottle of Coke."
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Star Wars Virgin Takes the Plunge

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  • Anyone... (Score:5, Funny)

    by -kertrats- ( 718219 ) on Wednesday November 15, 2006 @06:31PM (#16860484) Journal
    Anyone who would watch 6 consecutive Star Wars movies should be considered a virgin by default.
    • Re: (Score:2, Funny)

      by Godboy_g ( 794101 )
      He must be very strong in the Force......Or the Caffeine!
    • Once, I remember, I had no sex life so I watched three Star Wars movies in a row.
      • by Anonymous Coward
        George "I am the Omniscient One" Lucas created a wonderful story in "Star Wars" (SW) #4. The quality wavered in SW #5. Then, the quality zoomed up in SW #6.

        There is one universal message in SW #4, #5, and #6. The message is that life is full of dangers, disappointments, and loss. Yet, somehow, in the end, you will find sanctuary by avoiding being suckered into evil doing. Stay true to all that is good, and the goodness shall be the force that ultimately triumphs. This path to the light is available t

    • Re: (Score:2, Funny)

      This raises interesting theological questions. If one has sex, conceives then watches all 6 Star Wars movies(or, rather, is forced to watch them) in a row, then is the [possibly-resultant, as there is the chance that the simple act will automatically kill the baby]baby the second(or first, depending on your beliefs) incarnation of the Christ?
    • by Mattintosh ( 758112 ) on Wednesday November 15, 2006 @10:13PM (#16863326)
      "Have any of you nerds actually SEEN a vagina? If you had a police line-up with a vagina, a donut, and a mop, would you be able to pick the vagina out of the line-up? Cause the minute you can, you're gonna throw that Stormtrooper cookie jar right out the window!"

      - Bobcat Goldthwait

      It seemed on-topic to me.
    • Re: (Score:3, Funny)

      by Hoi Polloi ( 522990 )
      Your virginity can actualy be restored by doing this.
    • Re:Anyone... (Score:4, Insightful)

      by coastwalker ( 307620 ) <[moc.liamtoh] [ta] [reklawtsaoca]> on Thursday November 16, 2006 @08:31AM (#16867682) Homepage
      Wonderful films for their intended audience - ten year old boys.

      Its a shame that something a bit more grown up hasn't been made in the last twenty years

      Firefly was pretty good but it didn't last long...
      • Re: (Score:3, Insightful)

        What about Babylon 5? That seemed pretty "grown up" to me. Lots of adult issues being dealt with in that series beyond just "kill the badguys 'cuz they're BAD!".
  • So what was worse, Star Wars or the Cremaster series?
  • by QuantumFTL ( 197300 ) on Wednesday November 15, 2006 @06:34PM (#16860544)
    Is there any other kind of Star Wars fan?
    • by saudadelinux ( 574392 ) on Wednesday November 15, 2006 @07:43PM (#16861712)
      I have to sit through that uncomfortable kiss between Luke and Leia knowing that they are indeed brother and sister.

      At this precise moment during the '97 special edition release of Star Wars, in a packed house (the Uptown Theater in Washington DC, 840 seats), some guy down in front yelled,


      The whole place cracked up. I wish I could say it was me, but alas, it wasn't.
      • by Anonymous Coward on Wednesday November 15, 2006 @08:09PM (#16862046)
        That's like when I went to a screening of Return of the Jedi, and the following sequence occurred.

        Darth Vader: A small rebel force has penetrated the shield and landed on Endor.
        The Emperor: Yes, I know.
        Darth Vader: My son is with them.
        The Emperor: Are you sure?
        Darth Vader: I have felt him.
        (Guy in audience snickers loudly)

        But that doesn't top a Star Wars virgin moment I witnessed. At the same marathon, we were watching The Empire Strikes Back about 15 years after it came out, with a friend who really was a Star Wars virgin.

        Darth Vader: "I AM YOUR FATHER."
        During the silence that follows, my friend is the only person in the entire theater who gasps audibly.
        After which half the theater turned to look at her in disbelief...
    • by dubbreak ( 623656 ) on Wednesday November 15, 2006 @08:33PM (#16862388)
      I took "Star Wars virgin takes the plunge" as: someone finally poured hot grits down Natalie Portman's pants.
    • Re: (Score:3, Funny)

      by Gabrill ( 556503 )
      Of course there are non-virgins. How else would we inflict Star Wars upon the next generation?
  • How strange (Score:5, Funny)

    by Bugs42 ( 788576 ) <superjambob AT gmail DOT com> on Wednesday November 15, 2006 @06:35PM (#16860576)
    Star Wars? Virgin? Why, those are 3 words that have never before been seen anywhere near each other!
  • we all know (Score:2, Insightful)

    by geekoid ( 135745 )
    it was not some great intention or design. If he wanted to do 1 first, he would have.

    • Re: (Score:3, Insightful)

      by jmp_nyc ( 895404 ) *
      it was not some great intention or design. If he wanted to do 1 first, he would have.

      If he'd made episode 1 first, and it was anything like the film that was released, there would never have been more than one Star Wars film...
    • Wanting to do it first and wanting it watched first are two different things despite the high correlation.
      • Re:we all know (Score:5, Interesting)

        by Chris Burke ( 6130 ) on Wednesday November 15, 2006 @07:32PM (#16861522) Homepage
        Wanting to do it first and wanting it watched first are two different things despite the high correlation.

        But he didn't make the movies in such a way that they lend themselves to watching in episodic order, either. So his wanting them watched in order is misguided.

        For example, watched in episode order, the first coherent explanation of what the Force is occurs in Episode IV. The Midichlorian explanation in Ep. I would be confusing as hell since he's describing how you measure Jedi-ness assuming both the characters and the audience are fully aware of what that is, and then midichlorians are never mentioned again. The knowledge that Darth Vader is Luke and Leia's father is given away at the end of III, but revealed as plot twists in V and VI. I can only imagine how confusing Ben Kenobi's behavior must have seemed.

        From the article:
        "For me, the biggest problem with seeing these films in their intended order is that Episodes IV-VI offered little surprises. I know who Luke's father is; I know that the little creature is Yoda. I have to sit through that uncomfortable kiss between Luke and Leia knowing that they are indeed brother and sister. Most of the mysteries and questions that drive the plots of the later episodes are nullified by having seen the first three. I almost envied those who saw them in original order, so I too could have enjoyed the shock and surprise of some of the plot's twists and turns. Luckily I was never a fan of bellbottoms, so I will indeed stick with the intended order."

        "Intended order" my ass. It's a broken order.

        Of course, the real reason you need to watch them IV-VI then I-III is so that you like Star Wars enough to make it through the prequels.
        • Re:we all know (Score:5, Interesting)

          by nine-times ( 778537 ) <> on Wednesday November 15, 2006 @08:41PM (#16862456) Homepage
          The knowledge that Darth Vader is Luke and Leia's father is given away at the end of III, but revealed as plot twists in V and VI. I can only imagine how confusing Ben Kenobi's behavior must have seemed.

          Ok, I'm going to geek out here for a second, but I think the most unfortunate thing about all this is that they could have made the prequals to preserve a lot of those mysteries. Episode 3 could have been written so you're lead to believe that Anakin died at the end, and Padme could have been left pregnant. In RotJ, Leia says she remembers her real mother a little, and yet in Episode 3 she dies in childbirth. It isn't even coherent.

          Also, Yoda could have been spoken of and referenced in the prequals, but never seen, which would have only built up suspense for the Degoba scene in ESB. And when ObiWan lies about Vadar killing Anakin in A New Hope, the audience would naturally assume that he's lying because it would be tought thing to explain, that it was he who killed Anakin. So you'd be left to think the big secret coming in ESB was that ObiWan killed Anakin, which would make the real plot twist that much more twisty.

          So Lucas could have made it sensible to watch them in order, 1=>6, without destroying the plots of the original trilogy. The fact is, he simply chose not to, which is just baffling. As it is, there is absolutely no good order to watch the trilogy in, because Episode 3 ruins the surprises of 5 and 6, whereas watching the original trilogy basically lays out the story for the prequals, meaning there's no possiblity of Anakin's fall being interesting.

          • Re:we all know (Score:5, Interesting)

            by Chris Burke ( 6130 ) on Wednesday November 15, 2006 @09:16PM (#16862806) Homepage
            The really sad thing is, I've read many a "revised" prequel trilogy on the net, and basically every one of them is better than what we got. Frankly I think that the first trilogy would have been much, much better simply by forcing Lucas to work with somebody (anybody) who was willing to call crap crap and say "fix it!"

            Also, Yoda could have been spoken of and referenced in the prequals, but never seen, which would have only built up suspense for the Degoba scene in ESB.

            True, plus it makes no sense for yoda to go from being 880 years and fit as a fiddle to 900 and dying, though I've always told myself this was just because Yoda felt bad for fucking up so bad and decided he was done after helping Luke to fix Yoda's mess. Mostly though he was a pretty ludicrous character to have serving as a general -- it didn't fit his V/VI persona at all.

            So you'd be left to think the big secret coming in ESB was that ObiWan killed Anakin, which would make the real plot twist that much more twisty.

            It would be tough to make this work for the viewers while still having the prequels be about Anakin's fall. The easiest way would be to completely refrain from mentioning Vader in Ep. III, so he just looked like a random new Sith Lord in IV, though it would make Ben's blaming Vader for Anakin's death seem weird lie or not.
          • by bill_mcgonigle ( 4333 ) * on Wednesday November 15, 2006 @11:56PM (#16864238) Homepage Journal
            Oh, shut up. You're reminding us how incredibly easy it would have been to have a reasonable plot for Eps. 1-3. I had sucessfully blocked them out for several months now...

    • by prockcore ( 543967 ) on Wednesday November 15, 2006 @06:58PM (#16860998)
      There wasn't the technology in 1977 to film long senate orations and a jamaican muppet.
    • Re: (Score:3, Informative)

      by B3ryllium ( 571199 )
      He once said that he made 4, 5 and 6 first because they featured a more compelling story.

      He was right. :)
  • Correct order? (Score:2, Insightful)

    by ValiantSoul ( 801152 )
    Whoever said it was inteded to be watched I-VI and not IV-VI+I-III? I'm quite happy I grew up with IV-VI and later saw I-III as they came out.
    • Agreed. It's a huge leap to think that Lucas intended from the very beginning to make six films that would make sense in numerical order. "Midichlorians"? Come on. Greedo shooting first? Please. Lucas has made a bad habit of changing his mind repeatedly and then trying to convince the viewer that the new way was the way he wanted things all along. Most Star Wars fans can see right through that, though, demanding simple things like, oh, the original trilogy in its original form.

      In fact, I'm pretty sur
      • Re:Correct order? (Score:5, Interesting)

        by Marxist Hacker 42 ( 638312 ) * <> on Wednesday November 15, 2006 @07:09PM (#16861174) Homepage Journal

        Actually- we've got something similar in our own cells- Mitochondria []- a symbiotic sub-cellular life form that produces energy (chloroplasts in plants are a competing symbiotic life form that is similar). All he did was twist the word around somewhat and made them more powerful than normal.
        • Yes, yes, I know all about basic high school biology. You miss my point. In the original trilogy, the Force was a "mystical energy field that surrounds us, penetrates us, and binds the universe together". If you were strong with the force, you could tell how strong someone else was just by sensing it.

          Then, years later, Lucas decides that an abstract concept isn't good enough for him anymore, so he changes it to some lame pseudo-biological explanation that contradicts established lore, and tries to make u
          • I'm sorry- I don't understand. How exactly are the two explainations incompatible? A well practiced user of the force could "feel" the midiclorians of another and get a rough estimate. The force could be just the frequency the midiclorians are playing on. AND the destruction of the Jedi Order could have created a loss of knowledge and technology- the Empire would certainly want to supress such information.
            • by Luyseyal ( 3154 )
              The problem is it's just STUPID. It's like particle of the week imported into Star Wars.
              • Ah, so you're on the side of Star Wars as Fantasy, as opposed to Star Wars as Science Fiction. Oddly enough- you've chosen the quandary that Star Wars itself is really about- the light side or the dark side- but which is light and which is dark?
    • My preferred order:

      For the oooooh and aaaah, and the cliffhanger at the end.
      Darth is Luke's... ??


      Then the explanation:

      Ah. I see. OK. So that's what Darth Vader really is. Well what happens to him?

      The perfect order in my opinion.
      Except I'll have to find a copy of The Phantom Edit.

      You know what would be kewl is if someone could take the "Original Trilogy" DVDs that Lucas put out, and the cleaned footage from the latest "Special Edition" and merge the two to have a cleaned up OT.
      • Except I'll have to find a copy of The Phantom Edit.

        It's amazing how much better a movie Episode I is when Jar Jar no longer speaka da English, as is the case in the "Balance of the Force" edit.

        Really, it's just more evidence that Star Wars stopped belonging to George Lucas - and started belonging to the human race - a long time ago.

      • Why make it? Just wait till next Christmas.

        You don't think Mr. Lucas is done milking his cash cow, do you?
    • Re:Correct order? (Score:4, Insightful)

      by HTH NE1 ( 675604 ) on Wednesday November 15, 2006 @07:25PM (#16861394)
      Indeed. However, a co-worker wanted his kids to see them in I-VI order, so he rented I-III and watched them before my remastered IV-VI set. (We didn't include Clone Wars either, nor the other earlier spinoffs (Droids, Ewoks, Wookie Christmas).) I thought it was a mistake. I think he really wanted to experience the movies in that order for the first time vicariously through them. (We did not watch them back-to-back on the same day!)

      Compare subjecting a Star Trek virgin to Enterprise first. Or Back to the Future with the third movie's scenes set in 1885 first! Or even recutting Memento? Chronological order isn't necessarily the best way to watch anything.

      The best part of episode V was the parentage revelation, and IV is just creepy with that Luke-Leia kiss.
  • by ivanmarsh ( 634711 ) on Wednesday November 15, 2006 @06:46PM (#16860762)
    Lucas is a fallen hero at best.

    When can I get the unfudged up version of THX-1138?
    • by WMD_88 ( 843388 )
      As with Star Wars, I'm sure somebody's done a Laserdisc transfer of the original THX-1138.
    • "It was only a couple of minutes before my first Jar Jar Binks sighting, and I found myself wondering: Why does he sound like a Jamaican Elmo?"

      LOL. He nailed it.

    • why would you want it, even by film geeks the redone THX-1138 like Star Trek TMP DE is a cleaner film. They did nothing to change the story telling in either, just added visuals that where not possible in the 70's without going Star Wars Special Edition on them.
  • Next 2 items on EW website: ranking of best/worst Bond girls.
  • At least he's not an actual virgin.
  • by c0d3h4x0r ( 604141 ) on Wednesday November 15, 2006 @06:49PM (#16860822) Homepage Journal
    Star Wars Virgin Takes the Plunge

    The headline made it sound like a Star Wars-loving virgin who had actually gotten laid was going to tell us what it was like to finally score.

  • I'm showing them to my young kids gradually in the order of 4, 5, flashback to 1, 2, 3, then 6.
  • Namely, the Clone Wars series. I think they were one of the best parts of SW.
  • Seriously. That was the first thing that came to my mind. If only I could have been there to pause the movie, and explain "that's not really how it was".

    Anyone who sees the movies "as George Lucas intended" is missing out.

    • Let me guess: You think Han shooting first makes him "badass", don't you? Greedo was awake, facing him, and armed. He also announced his intentions. Shooting Greedo at that point makes him about as badass as a chicken in a tin can that doesn't screech "EX-TER-MI-NATE!". The only change Greedo shooting first makes is establishing the blaster as a weapon that kills your accuracy(consistent with what we've already seen with Stormtroopers--at least SG-1 explains the crappiness of staff cannons by saying tha
  • by Copid ( 137416 ) on Wednesday November 15, 2006 @07:01PM (#16861038)
    My wife and I are both Star Wars fans, and we joked about telling just one guest that our wedding would be Star Wars themed and asking him to come in costume. We're not that cruel, but I can't help but regret that our wedding album lacks a picture of a bunch of guys in formal wear standing around with a guy in a cheap Chewbacca costume [].
    • Re: (Score:3, Funny)

      by Hoi Polloi ( 522990 )
      I chose to have a "Taxi Driver" themed wedding. The pastor didn't like it when I responded to "Do you take this woman..." with "Are you talking to me?"
  • by 91degrees ( 207121 ) on Wednesday November 15, 2006 @07:04PM (#16861102) Journal
    These days, Star Wars seems to be more nerdy than Trek. 10 years ago, Trekkies were considered hopeless nerds, obsessed with detail and continuity, and who never get dates, and Star Wars was considered cool and retro. These days, Trekkies are still considered hopeless nerds, but in a much more affectionate way, whereas the Star Wars fans are now nerdier, even more obsessed with detail and continuity, and even less likely to get a date.
    • by CAIMLAS ( 41445 )
      I don't know what world you're living in, but there's no way that's true.

      My younger sister's senior year student president (that would be high school) was one of the biggest SW geeks I've ever seen. As were many of his friends. Both he and his friends (my younger siblings included) were mostly all star wars geeks, in one respect or another. Mostly, they were just geeks - gaming geeks, photography geeks, and what have you. They were involved in hockey, basketball, drama, and what have you as well. They were
  • by bigdavex ( 155746 ) on Wednesday November 15, 2006 @07:05PM (#16861118)
    I recently watched all the Star Wars movies with my 7 year-old son. I wouldn't let him see Episode III in the theater, because I felt the violence was too intense and the intrigue too slow. It's a bit better at home, because we can skip parts or take a break as necessary. (My wife and I, being mature adults, went to see it at midnight when it opened. Irony intended.)

    He'd seen some of the orginal trilogy before, but I don't think the story stuck with him. Anyway, we watched I-III, the Clone War Cartoons, and then IV-VI over about two weeks. When Anakin died in Return of the Jedi, he cried. It was a much different experience in chronological order.
    • by Altima(BoB) ( 602987 ) on Wednesday November 15, 2006 @09:27PM (#16862918)
      Your post reminded me of some musings I've indulged in myself sometimes. Though I'm not at the stage in my life where I'm even considering having kids, I'd given some casual musings to how I would intriduce them to certain things, like Star Wars. After giving it much thought, I came up with what I would think is the ideal order for introducing someone to Star Wars.

      Start with Episode IV, for many reasons. It was the first film released, thus the first taste anyone got of Star Wars. It's also the most self-contained. It has all the elements that make the rest of the films impressive, but its scope is tighter and much more limited, thus it's more impressive without seeing it in the context of the much more broad visions of the other films. (Plus, as after watching the entire saga one can claim Palpatine is the true arch villain of the entire series, it's strange that he is only briefly referenced once in dialogue early in the film and never actually appears, when viewed in context of his dramatic turn in Episode III.) Move on to Episode V, so you get the huge shocker about Vader, and end on the cliffhanger about Han. Remember, audiances had to wait years for the resolution of that cliffhanger in the original release cycle.

      So after Episode V, with Han carted off by Boba, Yoda mentioning "another" hope, Luke smarting after getting his ass kicked by his sociopathic dad, and with the viewer begining to see some depth to the Vader character (and without having had a real introduction to the Emperor beyond a brief hologram) we let those elements hang and linger, and go back to the prequel saga. We see Anakin grow and his backstory fills in some of the depth to Vader's character we only started to see in Episode V. Not having seen Episode VI, the viewer doesn't immediately identify Senator/Chancellor Palpatine as the Emperor/Darth Sideus, and when the little robot obsetrician announces that Amidala has twins and one gets named Leia, that's a genuine surprise to the viewer. (On a side note, that one scene where they name the twins explicitly always struck me as very very stupid fro ma story point of view if they were actually intended to be viewed chronologically. The author of the article makes a great point about how, despite Lucas's claims, the films are actually less satisfying dramatically if watched in 'chronological' order.)

      Now that the backstory is filled in for the viewer, and we can see the Emperor as the true puppetmaster and Darth Vader as a manipulated, confliced tool of evil, and we can understand and empathize with Luke's desire to reason with, rather than kill, Vader; we move on to Episode VI. So the cliffhanger regarding Han finally gets sorted out (phew! More of a relief of tension watching 3 films to see that, rather than immediately seeing it resolved, even though it's one of the dumbest rescue plans ever...) and Boba Fett, with whom we have added empathy after seeing his dad raise hell in Episode II (though the vengeful undertones present in the shot where he's seen lifting Jango's severed head/helmet are never really realized, unless you count him briefly fighting Luke as some kind of anti-Jedi vengeance) meets his comically undramatic end, we move to the final set-piece. We've seen Yoda introduced as the unassuming little green guy, then saw him in his heyday, now we see him die. We saw Obi Wan as kindly Uncle Ben, then young kickass Jedi / flawed mentor, now we see him offer final advice to Luke. And when Vader meets his end and redemption, it's the culmination of it all.

      This I think gives a great balance to the two approaches to the trilogy. On the one hand, all the best plot twists are preserved for the viewer, and the most limited film is seen first. On the other hand, Episode VI is truely the culmination for the viewer, and despite all the prequels' flaws, Anakin showing up as a blue force ghost in Jedi rock and roll heaven is actually more satisfying after having seen them.
  • So, is it pretty much accepted that the only way to watch Star Wars is in the order of 1-6? You know, the only logical way, as Lucas intended?
    I argued this point for about 2 hours in a pub once, almost got kicked out. A stupid, stupid friend of ours was trying to get my girlfriend (a Star Wars virgin as well), to watch them in release order (4, 5, 6, 1, 2, 3).
    I nearly slit his throat, corrupting my girlfriend with wrong thinking like that. It still upsets me.
  • The original trilogy (IV-VI) would have been drastically ruined for me if I had seen the prequilogy(I-III) first. The biggest intreague to the original trilogy was the shrowd of mystery over the great darth vader, and the insestual love between Luke and Leia. However, at the end of Return of the Jedi, you finally see the humanity of darth and have one question on your mind, how did this man become the power behind the mask? it was not, what happens next, but rather, how did this happen? as a producer,
  • Late last week I was challenged by to watch Cinamax's complete Star Wars Marathon -- George Lucas' complete saga in the order in which he originally intended (Episodes I-VI).

    Who says that's the order Lucas intended? Plus, there were supposed to be nine movies in all; a trilogy of trilogies. AFAIK, the order that the movies were released _was_ the intended order.

    The scripts in the earlier movies are significantly stronger. The dialogue is more mature and smart. They had to be, if he was going to

  • It seems to me... (Score:5, Insightful)

    by TobyRush ( 957946 ) on Wednesday November 15, 2006 @08:27PM (#16862294) Homepage
    ...that the correct order to watch them, if you haven't seen them before, is IV, V, VI, I, II, III, IV, V, VI.

    Whatever Lucas' intentions were, I, II and III were made to be shown to millions of people who had seen IV, V and VI. The first time you see the original trilogy, it's about Luke. The second time, it's about Anakin.
  • by melted ( 227442 ) on Wednesday November 15, 2006 @08:40PM (#16862450) Homepage
    Star Wars virgin takes a plunger

  • by robyannetta ( 820243 ) * on Wednesday November 15, 2006 @08:49PM (#16862542) Homepage
    Randal: Which did you like better? "Jedi" or "The Empire Strikes Back"?

    Dante: "Empire".

    Randal: Blasphemy.

    Dante: "Empire" had the better ending. I mean, Luke gets his hand cut off, finds out Vader's his father, Han gets frozen and taken away by Boba Fett. It ends on such a down note. I mean, that's what life is, a series of down endings. All "Jedi" had was a bunch of Muppets.

As Will Rogers would have said, "There is no such things as a free variable."