World's Biggest Alarm Clock Shakes You Out of Bed

tugfoigel writes "Built by "Kevin" for a contest, this computer-controlled alarm clock is touted as the world's largest. To be more specific, he 'mounted a large air cylinder to the head of [his] bed and a valve, controlled by a computer, which [he programmed] to wake [him] up in the morning.'"

Re:

[Nutria]

That's not a kid. He's in his late 20's or maybe even 30's.

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[Antidamage]

There is no way he's getting laid twice.

A thought on waking up...

[Cryacin]

There are two ways to wake up in the morning.

1. The sun gently rolling its warmth over the mountains, gently caressing your face and rousing your subtly to start your day.

2. A tiger jumping out of the bushes.


I wonder which one this is?

Re:A thought on waking up...

[kongit]

There is a third way: having to go piss.

Re:A thought on waking up...

[Antidamage]

What does waking up have to do with that?

Believe you me, I don't get laid twice either.

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[Zero__Kelvin]

There is a third way: having to go piss.

I'm over forty. That is the first and only way for me you insensitive clod!

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[adolf]

3. Penis, gently roused and massaged by mouth, perhaps followed later by vagina.

[Disclaimer: I've been married long enough that 3 doesn't happen anymore.]

Double loser

[spineboy]

weird ass bed
LOL it's a twin sized bed

What girl will be over "sleeping"o in that thing with him. Wow, talk about excluding yourself from any chance of mating..

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[TapeCutter]

At my age sex is hard work. With this invention you can sit her on top and let the machine do the work, when your done just let go.

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[Zero__Kelvin]

There is no way he's getting laid twice.

Maybe not the way the system is set up now, but with some minor modifications and a little reprogramming ....

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[iamapizza]

Big deal, there's an app for that on the Jesus Phone.

Bzzzt Bang Crash

[skreeech]

From the picture it looks like it is going to wake his head up into a dresser.

Upon watching the video I was half right.

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[sznupi]

Shaking like that is a horrible way to be woken up. One of the many annoyances from so called "family home" was me being awoken by shaking the pillow unceremoniously.

Instant headache for the whole morning and horrible mood at the start of your day!

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[Eddy Luten]

Yeah, I wonder why this was labeled Entertainment?

Wouldn't help

[Starlon]

I'd still roll over and fall back to sleep; and never remember the alarm going off. The only things that ever remotely worked were my sister growing up and Sepultura's Ratamahatta. Part of the latter was my kitten going nuts when it went off.

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[belmolis]

How did your sister growing up wake you up in the morning?

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[Starlon]

Poorly written. I meant, while growing up, she could always get me up for school.

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[fractoid]

I'm not entirely sure it's ethical or legal for your sister to get you up, especially while growing up. O.o

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[Nutria]

The only things that ever remotely worked were my sister growing up

That's disturbingly weird.

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[Kaeso]

I have a series of computers, each louder and progressively further away from me, which blare the 'Gilgamesh' music from Final Fantasy V. The first one starts playing, then five minutes later the second one farther away and louder than the first starts playing, etc. I live alone...

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[Anonymous Coward]

I live alone...

Who would've guessed?

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[Gen. Malaise]

I live alone...

I would never have guessed.

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[lgw]

Just put the alarm clock out of easy reach. In a different room if needed. Across a moat.

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[nospam007]

I use earplugs to sleep (best sleep ever!) and so I bought myself an alarm clock for deaf people with a vibration device that is put under the mattrass cover. It also has several really loud sounds and flashes that you can switch on as well if you like.

Best clock ever!

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[MrKevvy]

re: "I use earplugs to sleep (best sleep ever!) and so I bought myself an alarm clock for deaf people with a vibration device that is put under the mattrass cover. It also has several really loud sounds and flashes that you can switch on as well if you like."

Could it be this one? [thinkgeek.com] It's the one I use too, for the same reason as the poster above: my eeevil subconscious would wake up first with a standard alarm clock and either turn it off or hit the snooze button repeatedly, so I would groggily wonder what hap

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[lgw]

my eeevil subconscious would wake up first with a standard alarm clock and either turn it off or hit the snooze button repeatedly

I'm curious whether your alarm clock was within reach, or across the room? I used a normal alarm clock in an adjacent room for a while, which fixed that problem completely for me, and now an alarm clock that's simply out of reach of my bed is enough.

"Onii-chan, wake up or you're going to be late!"

[Guppy]

Oddly enough, I've heard you can get clocks in Japan with a little-sister voice telling her brother to wake up, or audio CDs of the same that you can use with CD player alarms.

But does it run Linux?

[thatkid_2002]

Sex used to be a form of exercise... But exercise is for losers! He built a machine to do the work for him!

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[ocularDeathRay]

I just watched the video and thought exactly the same thing... if this guy could get laid, that bed would be awesome. unfortunately I doubt he will get much opportunity for that.

Buzz Buzz!

[Twide]

It will sure help getting off to work in the morning!!

Ladies....

[PhantomHarlock]

can you imagine living with this guy?

I'd rather just not get up at all.

Waking up naturally is far better for your health. All you 9-5ers have fun being shocked out of bed every morning.

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[Psychotria]

[Ladies...] can you imagine living with this guy?

Yeah, I agree. Much better to sleep with me.

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[Max Romantschuk]

Waking up naturally is far better for your health. All you 9-5ers have fun being shocked out of bed every morning.

Let me guess: Student or part-time worker, no kids?

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[Beardo the Bearded]

Nah, he's trying to keep optimistic during the downturn.

"Let's see... Ah! I get to sleep in!"

My bio-alarms (3 and 5 years old) wake me up by 6:30-7:00 should the alarm somehow fail, but that's unlikely. It auto-shuts on weekends, resets the time after a power failure, and stores the alarm time in non-volatile memory.

I am a light sleeper. Noises such as a door opening or a toilet flushing will wake me up and keep me up for a while. Even when exhausted, it takes 10-15 minutes to fall asleep.

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[selven]

By 9-5, do you mean working hours or sleeping hours?

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[account_deleted]

Comment removed based on user account deletion

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[Drinking Bleach]

It doesn't work that way. Your brain does not store a sleep quota.

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[Jarik C-Bol]

my job starts at 5am you Insensitive Clod!

In soviet russia

[interkin3tic]

In soviet Russia, clock alarms YOU!

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[Anonymous Coward]

I think it might be better thought of as...

In Soviet Russia, alarm clocks YOU!

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[Anonymous Coward]

Nooo. In Soviet Russia YOU alarm the clock!

In soviet russia

[Mhtsos]

"The hay" hits YOU !

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[rj_sherman]

Repeatedly until you get a concussion. This would be rough after a night of hard drinking.

Sex

[Anonymous Coward]

Sex just that much more interesting.

I saw this 25 years ago

[Megahard]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Exorcist_(film) [wikipedia.org]

My Wife's Comment

[iron-kurton]

"Did you notice it's a twin bed?"

Re:My Wife's Comment

[Nutria]

Yup. And he said, "Hi, Mom!".

There's no way he's passing on his genes.

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[kazade84]

Darwinism at work. :)

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[Nutria]

The problem is that he seems really smart, and *should* transmit his genes...

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[adolf]

Ah, yes. Mr. Darwin is still hard at work, de-evolving the human race.

See my sig for additional details.

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[kazade84]

Smart?! The guy just lied on a bed that hits his head repeatedly until it hurts and he's done the same thing every morning for 4 years! :p

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[marcop]

He also said, "this is the way I have been waking up for the last 4 years."

Reminded me of the quote from Triumph, "you will die alone."

OMG he has the biggest rig!

[thatkid_2002]

He has a big [pneumatic] rig.

Remember it is the size of the cylinder that counts!

...Hang on...
Get your mind out of the gutter!

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[Opportunist]

From what I heard the diameter is more important than the length...

Missed His Mark

[VaticDart]

Leave it to a geek to invent the greatest sex bed the world has ever seen and then use it to jostle his brain into jelly in order to wake up in the morning.

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[2obvious4u]

Don't they have the same thing at the local motel for a quarter?

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[Beardo the Bearded]

Yes, that was invented by John Houghtaling [honoraryunsubscribe.com], who passed away last month at the age of 92.

The casue of death was a head injury after a fall.

Been done and 10x better years ago

[Dahamma]

Google is failing me now finding the video... but I remember reading about something SO much better almost 10 years ago.

A Japanese engineer designed an integrated alarm clock bed for a contest his company put on. The bed would go through a series of increasing "motivations" to wake up, including:

1. a normal alarm
2. a recording of his boss yelling "Wake up! You're going to be late!"
3. water spraying on his face
4. a hydraulic lift that slowly raises the head of the bed until the apparently ridiculously soun

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[Bill Dog]

Here's [youtube.com] video for the #4 part of it! :)

Gun O'Clock

[The Real Toad King]

This is nice and all, but I still prefer Gun O'Clock [youtube.com].

Well...

[sc0ob5]

He'll also wake up alone every morning...

The great Exhibition, London, 1851

[JerryQ]

One of the attractions in the 'Crystal Palace' was the 'Alarm Bed' which tipped you out of bed.

While using an atomic clock may be novel...

[exasperation]

bed shakers (or, more often, pillow vibrators) are very common devices for waking deaf people. Take a look here. [marilynelectronics.com]

Actually sort of impressive.

[MasterNetHead]

That's actually a pretty quiet alarm clock, considering what its doing. Too bad for every new bed I buy, he'll have bought 7.

Ten Thousand Quatloos

[Greyfox]

To the man who hacks into his bed and reprograms it to catapult him through the ceiling!

It's been done.

[Jane Q. Public]

I saw something that was for all practical purposes identical, on black-and-white TV when I was a small child. This is not news. Or original at all.

This is nothing new. It's an alarmclock for deaf.

[Qbertino]

This sort of 'shaking bed' is nothing new. Simular mechanisims are used as alarmclocks by deaf people. Maybe the force with which the bed is shaken is a new quality, but the basic concept has been around for a decade or two at least.

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[JCZwart]

This guy seems eager for attention anyway. I have seen this very same video about half a year ago. Can't find the original anywhere, of course...

luckily

[opusman]

Luckily there's not much chance of him ever needing a double bed, because that would be a real pain in the ass to rewire.

Yeah ok but..

[The Creator]

Do the head aches last as long as proper ones induced by beer?

And if they do, what's the ROI considering you save on beer?

Hmmm - damaging

[stupid_is]

Two things - firstly, I can't imagine the bed structure standing up to a whole lot of abuse of this nature. The vid claims he's used this for 3 years, but I wonder how many beds it's broken.

Secondly, and more significantly, that kind of vigorous bashing about is not good for brain cells. 3 years of this, 5 days a week at least, can't have done him much good.

Ho hum - mildly clever to put it all together, but a dumb idea overall

Hope he's not from California...

[lobiusmoop]

Or for that matter any other earthquake-prone area of the world. The habituation to being shaken awake might prove to be his undoing.

Wallace and Grommit did it better

[wisebabo]

I seem to remember Wallace's bed not only (sort of) waking him but dressing him and plopping him down for breakfast (toast, jelly and CHEESE!). It worked most of the time. Of course they are just clay figurines so maybe this isn't a valid comparison.

this is why nerds don't get laid...

[justanetgod]

single bed, jackhammer. In the right hands this could be kinky. Instead, just sad.

It's happening again

[Blixinator]

This used to happen to me all the time. I think about something then later in the day, that same thing pops up! I'm not talking about finding a quarter on the ground, I'm talking about insanly odd things. This morning, I was wondering how deaf people wake themselves up in the morning, then I get into work and see THIS!

I need one.

[Kid Zero]

For the kids. I won't have a problem getting them up again.

Nice contraption

[xfedaykinx]

But you can get pretty much the same thing without all the hassle that guy must have gone through to build his. http://www.thinkgeek.com/homeoffice/lights/8f1a/ [thinkgeek.com]

Largest? I think not...

[hazydave]

Back in the mid-70s, I built my fourth and final electronic clock (one for each year of high school)... this one was designed to match my stereo system. And it included a relay, to turn on the stereo system (well, actually a quadraphonic system.. this was the 70s, after all), so that I could wake to full volume rock music. That thing is only slightly larger than one of my speakers!

Biggest?

[Rambo Tribble]

Has anyone compared it to the size of the original alarm clocks, the water clocks in European monasteries?

following in the footsteps of John Muir

[mrtortoise]

Clever. John Muir did something like this as a kid in the 1840s. He built a contraption to eject him from his bed and wake him so he could read in the pre-dawn hours (see bottom of p.225 in The Story of My Boyhood and Youth [google.com]). It also lit a lamp at the same time and after a few minutes books to be studied were pushed from a rack. Now that's impressive.

Where is the compressor?

[Bruiser80]

That's a pretty massive pneumatic cyclinder for the job needed. It looks like you'd need quite a large collection tank to maintain pressure.

I'd complain that the compressor would make a lot of noise, but if this guy requires this to wake up, I'm guessing he could have the compressor in his room and he wouldn't notice. I'm guessing he's running hose down to a basement or garage air unit.

If I was designing this system, I probably would have mounted the cylinder rod to the floor with a alignment coupler

For a niche market only.

[Drone69]

Fat & lazy people need only apply.

almost as bad...

[BillAtHRST]

I once had an early morning job interview that I really didn't want to be late for. As I'm a heavy sleeper, I was a bit worried about it -- my solution was to plug a vacuum cleaner into my clock radio (which had a switched outlet on the back). That did the trick!

Night Hawk Nerd?

[zerobeat]

I bet he designed and built this while working late at night drinking copious amounts of coffee or caffeinated beverages. I wonder why he needed to take such drastic measures to get out of bed? Z/

The world's biggest alarm clock already exists.

[chrisspurgeon]

I call it...the sun.

Interesting...

[tengeta]

Can't the dude just not be stoned while sleeping?

Nothing new-- Deaf people?

[Ambvai]

This is nothing new; I went to the Rochester Institute of Technology [accompanied by the National Technical Institute for the Deaf] and they've used vibrating beds as alarms for the deaf students for years. And pray you don't end up on a deaf floor when the fire alarms go off-- between the strobe lights, sirens and vibrations, you'd be be ready to huddle under a desk and wait for the bombs to drop.