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Food Activist's Life Becomes The Life of Brian 165

Posted by samzenpus from the you-are-all-individuals dept.
krou writes "After food activist and author Raj Patel appeared on The Colbert Report to promote his latest book, things seemed to be going well, until he began to get inundated with emails asking if he was 'the world teacher.' In events ripped straight from The Life of Brian, it would seem that Raj Patel's life story ticks all the boxes necessary to fulfill prophecies made by Benjamin Creme, founder of religious sect Share International. After the volume of emails and inquiries got worse, Patel eventually wrote a message on his website stating categorically that he was not the Messiah. Sure enough, 'his denial merely fanned the flames for some believers. In a twist ripped straight from the script of the comedy classic, they said that this disavowal, too, had been prophesied.'"

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Food Activist's Life Becomes The Life of Brian More

Food Activist's Life Becomes The Life of Brian

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  • Oblig (Score:5, Funny)

    by Brett Buck ( 811747 ) on Monday March 22, 2010 @02:35PM (#31573944)

    He's NOT the messaiah, he is a very naughty boy!

  • Here come the quotes... (Score:5, Funny)

    by Psmylie ( 169236 ) * on Monday March 22, 2010 @02:37PM (#31573960) Homepage

    I predict a long series of Python quotes incoming. Allow me to post one of my all-time favorites:

    Followers: "Only the true Messiah denies his divinity!"
    Brian "What?! Well, what sort of chance does that give me? All right, I AM the Messiah!"
    Followers: "He is! He is the Messiah!"
    Brian: "Now, Fuck off!"
    *awkward pause*
    Followers: "How shall we fuck off, oh Lord?"

    One of the better parts of an overall extremely funny movie.
    Also, I predict that this article on Slashdot will make all of his email problems so much better!

    • Plenty of quotes, and sucks to be him right now. Maybe, just maybe he can work to get us better food supplies and get rid of Monsanto et al, and improve the world a little bit with all this attention?

      • Hey, being "Messiah" to even a small cult isn't all that bad of a thing. He's trying to be honest, and tell them "nope, not me, go away."

        He doesn't actually have to embrace their lunacy, but he can direct them. "Go do [something good]". Like it or not, he has their attention and their obedience. Many strive for years to achieve that, and few ever get it. It's a powerful tool though, and as with power, as you approach absolute, so does your corruption.

        Or he could just sen

        • Problem is that there is a US base at 90S and they would be obliged to help. Better send them to 85S (or to the Russians).

          • Damned Americans. Can't even go to Antarctica without running into them. What do they think, that they own the world?

            (BTW, I'm American, and that's sarcasm for those without a clue)

            Ok, all cult members to 85S 50E. That's where the "Alien rendezvous" will be. Be sure attend before the "end of the world". This is a non-partisan invitation. All cult members must attend, or your soul will be lost in accordance with your particular misguided beliefs.

    • Re:Here come the quotes... (Score:4, Funny)

      by Brett Buck ( 811747 ) on Monday March 22, 2010 @02:50PM (#31574158)

      One of the better parts of an overall extremely funny movie.
      Also, I predict that this article on Slashdot will make all of his email problems so much better!

            Now, if there were only a link to a website so we could help him even more!

          Shalshdottes Eunt Domus!

    • Re:Here come the quotes... (Score:5, Funny)

      by maxwell demon ( 590494 ) on Monday March 22, 2010 @02:58PM (#31574290) Journal

      I predict a long series of Python quotes incoming.

      Here's one:

      print "Hello World!"
      for i in range(1, 11):
          print i

      • Gotta give you that it develops a certain depth together with your sig. Bit more work on the delivery would be nice, though.

    • Re: (Score:2, Funny)

      by DeadDecoy ( 877617 )
      Clearly, he got the "Colbert Bump".

  • To be fair.... (Score:5, Funny)

    by Darth_brooks ( 180756 ) <clipper377@g[ ]l.com ['mai' in gap]> on Monday March 22, 2010 @02:40PM (#31574022) Homepage

    To be fair, his book did say "Blessed are the cheese makers", so he does bear some of the culpability.

    • What's so special about the cheesemakers?

      Well, obviously it's not meant to be taken literally; it refers to any manufacturers of dairy products.

      I forget who said history doesn't repeat, but it seems to rhyme. But whomever said that forgot to add that History is a bawdy limerick. ;)

    • Re: (Score:3, Funny)

      by Foobar of Borg ( 690622 )

      To be fair, his book did say "Blessed are the cheese makers", so he does bear some of the culpability.

      Well, to be fair, he wasn't speaking literally. I think he meant any manufacturer of dairy products.

  • Photos on Slashdot. (Score:5, Insightful)

    by bcmm ( 768152 ) on Monday March 22, 2010 @02:42PM (#31574054)
    Shame you started using photos in stories. Never has the foot icon been more appropriate.

    • Re:Photos on Slashdot. (Score:5, Funny)

      by Anonymous Coward on Monday March 22, 2010 @03:03PM (#31574392)

      Shame you started using photos in stories. Never has the foot icon been more appropriate.

      Those responsible have been sacked for their indiscretions.

    • Only samzenpus does that. I guess the quality of the stories he posts is so low anyway that they figure adding a photo can't really make things any worse.

    • [from his sig]
      # cat /dev/mem | strings | grep -i llama

      cat: /dev/mem: Operation not permitted

      Yes, I did log in as root, no I don't understand what the fuck is going on (I saw something similar [launchpad.net] once).

      • The cat is redundant anyways. Assuming you can read the file, you can point strings at it directly. Faster that way.

        • Re: (Score:2)

          by bcmm ( 768152 )
          I am aware of the UUOC, but it's there because more people know what

          cat

          does than what

          string

          does

      • Re: (Score:2)

        by 1s44c ( 552956 )

        # cat /dev/mem | strings | grep -i llama

        Cat abuse, you want: strings /dev/mem | grep -i llama

        cat: /dev/mem: Operation not permitted

        Yes, I did log in as root, no I don't understand what the fuck is going on

        Interesting, that should work. What OS are you on?

        • I don't know about him, but I'm using CentOS 5.3 (2.6.18). If I do:

          # sudo cat /dev/mem | strings

          I get a stream of output, and pretty interesting too. But, if I do:

          # sudo cat /dev/mem | strings | grep -i llama
          cat: /dev/mem: Operation not permitted

          Oops. Not clear why that happened.

          # sudo strings /dev/mem | grep -i llama

          Does work. It's very odd.

          • Re: (Score:3, Interesting)

            by 1s44c ( 552956 )

            I think I see whats happening here. strace shows that reading past the end of /dev/mem errors with EPERM. Both cat and strings get the same EPERM but they behave differently to response to it.

            cat dies and gives you the error. When it dies it also kills its process group. That's everything you pipe its output though.

            strings just ignores the error. It doesn't tell you about it and doesn't kill its process group.

            Note that EPERM means you asked for something invalid and isn't the same as EACCES which means you

  • So... (Score:4, Funny)

    by 2names ( 531755 ) on Monday March 22, 2010 @02:42PM (#31574056)
    is he with the People's Front of Judea or the Judean People's Front?

  • I'm really not. Not at all. Don't worship me. Don't send money to my PO Box. Certainly do not make tax-deductible contributions to charitable organizations in my name. Please, really, stop it.

    • Re:I'm not the Messiah either (Score:5, Funny)

      by selven ( 1556643 ) on Monday March 22, 2010 @03:03PM (#31574394)

      Listen closely. I'd like to help you but I can't. I'd like to tell you to take a copy of your policy to Norma Wilcox on... Norma Wilcox, W-I-L-C-O-X... on the third floor, but I can't. I also do not advise you to fill out and file a WS2475 form with our legal department on the second floor. I would not expect someone to get back to you quickly to resolve the matter. I'd like to help, but there's nothing I can do.

      • <small>oh, thank you...--</small>

        <big>I'm sorry m'am, I know you're upset</big>
        <small>Pretend to be upset</small>
        (/. doesn't support those tags properly, nor does it support <font>)

    • I'm not the Messiah, and so's my wife.

  • How to fix the problem... (Score:4, Interesting)

    by Jah-Wren Ryel ( 80510 ) on Monday March 22, 2010 @02:45PM (#31574096)

    He should abuse the shit out of these retards.

    I bet these prophecies don't say anything about him putting his followers into poverty for his own personal vices.

    Tell them he's not their messiah but he wants all of their money so he can spend it on hookers and blow.

    Although that still might not work, after all scientology has a way more suckers than these share international fools.

    • Re: (Score:3, Funny)

      by geekoid ( 135745 )

      after all scientology has a way more suckers t"

      Don't belittle the victims.

      • Re: (Score:3, Interesting)

        by JWSmythe ( 446288 )

            Shhh, keep it down. I'm surrounded by them right now. They're best kept pacified, and my supply of Chlorpromazine is running low. Send the Messiah with more.

      • Don't belittle the victims.

        Maybe we should embiggen them?

    • Re:How to fix the problem... (Score:4, Funny)

      by thewiz ( 24994 ) * on Monday March 22, 2010 @04:46PM (#31575970)

      Tell them he's not their messiah but he wants all of their money so he can spend it on hookers and blow.

      That's a little unimaginative; we see that on a near-daily basis from athletes, politicians and developers.

      How about he gets these unwanted believers to dress in burlap tunics, hit themselves on the forehead with a thick oak board while chanting?

      • No, they might actually do that (you might well be alluding to something, but it's too obscure for me).

    • But yeah, I thought the same thing too. "Blessed is he who pays my electricity bill this month!"

      Live gives you lemons, make lemonade. I've always been that kind of a guy.

    • Yes Well... (Score:3, Informative)

      by Greyfox ( 87712 )
      Being the Messiah, he's not the sort of fellow who would do that sort of thing! That's why he's the Messiah and you're not!

  • Good Quote: (Score:5, Interesting)

    by The Angry Mick ( 632931 ) on Monday March 22, 2010 @02:47PM (#31574128) Homepage

    "People are very ready to abdicate responsibility and have it shovelled on to someone else's shoulders," he said. "You saw that with Obama most spectacularly, but whenever there's going to be someone who's just going to fix it for you, it's a very attractive story. It's in every mythological structure."

  • A food activist? (Score:3, Funny)

    by K. S. Kyosuke ( 729550 ) on Monday March 22, 2010 @02:49PM (#31574150)
    All ye who call yourself Gourdenes...

  • Don't grumble, give a whistle
    And this'll help things turn out for the best...

    And...always look on the bright side of life...
    Always look on the light side of life...

  • To anybody who ever wondered why, a couple of centuries ago, a group of very sensible gentlemen who were engaged in a nation-building exercise put in place a division between church and state...well, you need look no further.

    • Re: (Score:3, Insightful)

      by rimugu ( 701444 )

      That does not prevent the idolizing of politicians, individually or as a party.
      President or party Messiah anyone?

      It does not prevent the abuse of the state, just warranties that state has a monopoly on certain kids of abuse.
      School teachers accused of pederasty with immunity of prosecution anyone?

      Not that I don't support "the separation between church and state. Is like separating good and evil." (That comes form a cartoon of wizard of Id, and cannot help but quote it here).

    • Re: (Score:3, Insightful)

      by MichaelSmith ( 789609 )

      And yet most US politicians seem to need to at least pretend to believe in god to be elected.

  • but I would be shagging like there is no-tomorrow!
  • Honestly, now the only way out for this guy is "leaking" an internet sex tape involving goats, a cheese grater and a midget.

  • Not for Buddhism (Score:2, Informative)

    by Anonymous Coward

    ..as a figure who combines messianism for Christians, Buddhists, Hindus, Jews and Muslims alike ...

    In Buddhism, I know of no concept of a "messiah". None. Maybe those of you who have perhaps studied more of the Sutras than I could offer another point of view.

    There's a saying in Buddhism, "If you see the Buddha on the side of the road; kill him!"

    I don't see how the concept of messiah would fit into the teachings.

    • Re: (Score:3, Funny)

      by maxwell demon ( 590494 )

      There's a saying in Buddhism, "If you see the Buddha on the side of the road; kill him!"

      I guess he can consider himself lucky that he was identified as Messiah, not as Buddha ...

    • Messianism not - but idolization is surely a concept in certain flavors of Buddhism. You're probably right that there is no scriptural point to that in the Sutras, but Buddhism is not homogeneous and has blended with lots of different folk religions which at least elevated the Buddha to an idol to which you can prop up altars, make donations and pray for good fortune.

  • Jee-Hovah (Score:4, Funny)

    by Itninja ( 937614 ) on Monday March 22, 2010 @03:03PM (#31574398) Homepage
    Jehovah! Jehovah! Jehovah!

  • Who says he ain't a religious leader? (Score:4, Insightful)

    by jollyreaper ( 513215 ) on Monday March 22, 2010 @03:09PM (#31574490)

    He is promoting rules of how you should eat, a dietary law if you will. If he tells us how to run our sex lives and wears a funny hat, case closed.

    • Re: (Score:3, Interesting)

      by MozeeToby ( 1163751 )

      Actually, he's not directing how we should eat, he's trying to direct how we should change our concepts of personal property, right and wrong, and personal responsibility such that millions don't starve while other millions throw away food. His message could easily be construed as a modern day religious doctrine.

    • Re: (Score:3, Insightful)

      by david_thornley ( 598059 )

      The absolutely critical question is how he feels about spaghetti and meatballs.

  • You can't just deny something like this, with crazies, they must have another target. Figure out who is a likely suspect, a public figure, someone at work, a neighbor in your building who is particularly rude and say, "No, but I know who is." You already have credibility in their demented eyes, so a good portion of them should believe the redirection.

  • Well ... (Score:5, Funny)

    by krou ( 1027572 ) on Monday March 22, 2010 @03:14PM (#31574578)

    Patel eventually wrote a message on his website stating categorically that he was not the Messiah

    I say you are Lord, and I should know. I've followed a few.

  • "Since God has given us the Papacy, ..." (Score:3, Insightful)

    by LionKimbro ( 200000 ) on Monday March 22, 2010 @03:25PM (#31574764) Homepage

    I was thinking more like Pope Leo X, [wikipedia.org] who famously said: "Since God has given us the Papacy, let us enjoy it."

    He was a fun loving guy, gave tons of money away to the sick and to the poor, loved the arts and people of learning. He restored universities, gave more money to teachers, and on and on.

    There's a lot of negative things that could be said about him, but for some reason I have a difficult time calling them to mind.

    Raj Patel might want to consult the wisdom of Winston, [google.com] after having consulted the wisdom of Brian.

    • Re: (Score:3, Funny)

      by drinkypoo ( 153816 )

      Raj Patel might want to consult the wisdom of Winston, after having consulted the wisdom of Brian.

      "My rule of life prescribed as an absolutely sacred rite smoking cigars and also the drinking of alcohol before, after and if need be during all meals and in the intervals between them."

  • Their website: http://www.share-international.org/ [share-international.org]

    They talk about his a lot on the main page (apparently they call him "Maitreya").
    And of course most of the stuff said is pretty ridiculous and funny.

  • I loved this part (Score:4, Interesting)

    by geekoid ( 135745 ) <dadinportland@y[ ]o.com ['aho' in gap]> on Monday March 22, 2010 @03:50PM (#31575160) Homepage Journal

    "There have been similar cases in the past, including Steve Cooper, an unemployed man from Tooting, south London, who was identified by a Hindu sect as the reincarnation of a goddess and now lives in a temple in Gujurat with scores of followers."

    you out of work, out of money, at your lowest and then a bunch of people claim you are a Goddess and takes you to their temple and pampers you.

    Man, what a day. or maybe not:

    http://www.southasianpost.com/portal2/ff80808111f169c20111fc7c4cdc0047_Steve_Cooper__Hindu_god.do.html [southasianpost.com]

    OTOH I wonder if anyone checked up on him? He might need help. I mean, we are talking about cultist. Better pack up the Tommy and dynamite.

    • Re:I loved this part (Score:4, Funny)

      by Maniacal ( 12626 ) on Monday March 22, 2010 @05:41PM (#31576728)

      Ok. WTF. Is the South Asian Post the eastern equivalent to the Onion? There is no way that's a real story. What a riot. I love this line FTFA:

      He lives among 80 eunuchs — castrated men — at the temple. But some have their doubts that he is equipped to be a goddess. A eunuch called Sudha said: “He is a fake. I checked and he still has a penis."

      There's another line further down in which a woman says she's going to see Steve because her sister did and immediately got pregnant. Looks like goddess Steve has been using his penis to do the blessings :)

  • Story Time! (Score:5, Funny)

    by Lifyre ( 960576 ) on Monday March 22, 2010 @04:19PM (#31575576)

    My unit had our own little Monty Python story in Iraq.

    We were watching Holy Grail in the shop late when a core switch caught fire shortly followed by it's neighbor so now it goes...

    "What do we burn?"

    "SWITCHES!"

    "What else do we burn?"

    "MORE SWITCHES"

    • Re:Story Time! (Score:5, Funny)

      by Anonymous Coward on Monday March 22, 2010 @07:22PM (#31577800)

      Many ages ago, my ship went around the Horn. Before we left we all chipped in for a vcr player (ages ago, remember) but sadly forgot to get but 2 tapes, Monty Python and the Holy Grail was one, of course, the other was a really bizarre porno called "I like to watch" (which if I remember had the redeeming feature of all the music being done by kazoo's played by the actors and actresses. yes in the nude. awesome...)

      As we went through the Straits of Magellan, penguins swam around us, and my crew asked me, "You know everything, are penguins birds or fishes?"

      Of course I replied "Do they not float?"

      "Burn the Penguins!" They cried and ran about the decks like the heathens they were.

      My Division Officer came out to the main deck about that time, looked at my guys, looked at me and asked "Do I even want to know?"

      I told him "just be glad we didn't have any kazoos."

      no, I didn't, I told him "monty python fans."

      "Ah" he said as he went back inside.

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