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Star Wars Prequels Idle

The Empire Writes Back About the Failed Death Star Petition 90

It appears that it isn't just fans who took notice of the failed White House petition to build a Death Star. Star Wars Blog has an official response from the Galactic Empire which reads in part: "IMPERIAL CENTER, CORUSCANT – The overwhelming military superiority of the Galactic Empire has been confirmed once again by the recent announcement by the President of the United States that his nation would not attempt to build a Death Star, despite the bellicose demands of the people of his tiny, aggressive planet. 'It is doubtless that such a technological terror in the hands of so primitive a world would be used to upset the peace and sanctity of the citizens of the Galactic Empire,' said Governor Wilhuff Tarkin of the Outer Rim Territories. 'Such destructive power can only be wielded to protect and defend by so enlightened a leader as Emperor Palpatine.'”
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The Empire Writes Back About the Failed Death Star Petition

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  • by Anonymous Coward

    'Such destructive power can only be wielded to protect and defend by so enlightened a leader as Emperor Palpatine.”

    What are the key differences between Bush, Obama and Palpatine?

  • Misfiled (Score:5, Funny)

    by davidwr ( 791652 ) on Wednesday January 16, 2013 @02:46PM (#42606765) Homepage Journal

    This entry was posted on January 15, 2013 at 9:00 am and is filed under In Pop Culture.

    Should be refiled under Imperial Politics, Interstellar News, Diplomacy, or something similar.

  • He just retired a couple of weeks ago...

  • Unfortunately Disney's article already used all the clever star wars references that could possibly be applied, leaving slashdot commenters with nothing to do but rehash them.

  • by Jiro ( 131519 )

    While it's fun to pretend, most of us know that this really isn't an official response from the Empire, since the Empire is a fictional organization. What it is is a single post from a single blogger.

    Why is Slashdot running an article which consists of "this one blogger posted a message on a blog about some geeky topic"?

  • by peter303 ( 12292 ) on Wednesday January 16, 2013 @03:14PM (#42607097)
    Other than it was long ago and far away. A couple Star War stars have the same names as our stars.
  • The problem is not the power its the web of contracting associated with a project of such magnitude. See all the contractors know who its for and know the risk involved so they pass on bidding on the project.
  • From: Eternal Emperor Forever Justin Bieber of Rigel IV
    To: Serak the Preparer
    Subject: PUNY HUMANS!


    I laughed with much glee at the attempts of the the puny humans to calculate the cost of this death star "super weapon". It surely could never rival the power of our star system destructo ray! Make sure Kang and Kodos have prepared the invasion fleets!

    Be a Bieleber!

    Emperor Justin
  • It wasn't our galaxy! The Galactic Empire fell long before they could have managed to reach here.

  • by Picass0 ( 147474 ) on Wednesday January 16, 2013 @03:48PM (#42607581) Homepage Journal

    The Empire's Death Star qualifies under new Executive Orders issued today by the White House as an assult weapon. As such Grand Moff Tarkin is required to surrender possession within mandated timeframes and confirm registration on all other non-qualifying items in the Imperial armory. W. Tarkin and Anakin Skywalker aka D.Vader must also submit to a Universal Background Check.

    • by Binestar ( 28861 )
      Nothing in the executive orders changes definitions of assault weapons. That portion is going to go through an increasingly hostile congress.
      • by Anonymous Coward

        "Nothing in the executive orders changes definitions of assault weapons."

        So, they are still defined as what ignorant people think look scary?

        • by Anonymous Coward

          Yep. And in New York City, the definition includes *HANDGUNS* with a magazine capacity above 7 rounds. :DOH!:

  • We should have started on a few Star Destroyer's first! Conquer some neighboring planets and get them to build the Death Star for us.
  • "I find your lack of faith disturbing."
    -Your Supreme Lord Holiness, Darth Vader
  • by Anonymous Coward

    This is not the President you are looking for...

"Being against torture ought to be sort of a bipartisan thing." -- Karl Lehenbauer